Fantastic Weekend

This weekend went pretty good.

Early on, wasn't TOO sure since I was planning on spending most of it by myself.

I'm finding myself wanting to keep alot of the personal details under lock and key.

I did do some personal 'work' and got back in touch a little more with Big Daddy...I think.

Sunday late morning I finally decided, with help from Mike's powers of coercion to head up there and go to Assategue Island.

So, up I go.  The drive wasn't too bad...still hate the 230 part of it....but I get really tingly/escape-like when I hit 322.

We piled into the car a bit later, and off we were!

Had a fantastic driver....it was riding in that car an not having to worry about the "Multi-tasking Driver".  *giggles*

I think I passed out once or twice on the way up.  Sleepy girl.  Had a big night the previous night.  *wink winks*

Got there, hit the gift shop where we met up with a VERY rude saleswoman.  To coin a favorite quote from one of our favorite people, Walter:  "GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT!!!"

Then, over the bridge, through the sand, to see the horses and beach we go!

It was BEAUTIFUL!

Got there at the PERFECT time.  Not too late, not too early.

The lighting was PERFECT.

The temperature was PERFECT.

Had fun playing in the sand, in the water, watching the horses, taking pictures of the wildlife, including us.

And just, overall VERY VERY happy that the day went so smoothly.

Note.

The DAY.

Only one little 'issue'.

Was walking back, number was dropping pretty bad, and it was dark, so we were trying to get me back from changing and back into the car.

Walking down the little ramp, my friend in front of me ducks quick (so save her head), and then *BAM*.

I get slapped in the shoulder with a plank of wood.

I'm trying to act all tough - and plus - WTF is the guy gonna do that ran it into me?  Not like we can exchange insurance information.

So, I'm all tough Miss Jess now...off to the car we go, and breakdown in the trunk.  *chuckles*

I've now got a big bump and a nasty black and blue mark.

Nobody had any ibuprofen for the ride home - BUT - supplier that she is - our happy driver had some Vicodin.  I shoulda asked her if I could've 'borrowed' 2 or 3 for the next few days.  I took an ibuprofen this afternoon and it's done SHIT.  I am in sooooo much pain.  This thing hurts like a bitch.

I think I have one or two flexeril left - but I don't like the way they knock me out.

*grrrrrs*

Oh - and I want ice cream REALLY bad.

My sad McDonalds milkshake was a poor excuse for my ice cream/milkshake craving.

Oh....and I wanna do this all over again.

Pictures up in the albums...theck them out.

Hopefully more coming soon.

3:52 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

So...

Had a rather bad 'episode' last night - but thank you to some 'friends' (using that term loosely for some) - we're ok now.

Had nonstop ASP/ADSP episodes all night though.

Today wasn't feeling so good - mentally more than anything else.

Couldn't eat anything - number dropped REALLY bad - so I ended up calling out for pizza tonight - ate one piece and just *blah*

Gave the fatty a bath today - and he's quite disgusted with me.

Put their collars back on them.

I'm just paranoid.

They've been getting quite in quisitive when Mommy comes home and peeking out the door - and also the screens in the windows aren't the GREATEST - and well - i'm just paranoid.

On a good note, just opened the windows to air the house out, and i'm hearing the crickets and 'peepers' and thinking of being somewhere else...  *winks*

7:29 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Shhh...the wombat is relaxing....

Pretty good weekend so far other than getting my visit from the monthly goddess a bit early.  *blah bloat bleargh blech*

Last night didn't quite plan out as we had planned - my body just doesn't seem to be reacting to ANYthing lately - but it was nice having that comfortable falling asleep with someone thing again - and the occasional *pats, pats, nudge, kiss, you're still there, cool, roll over* thing. Morning held other plans.  *chuckles*  But, still my body wasn't totally there.  Good, just not 'there', yanno?

Spent most of the afternoon waiting for chinese food and visiting a Diva in the hospital.  Learned how to properly play 21 - though that exorcist-like voice is never going to go away from being in the back of my head now.  *stay......hit*  Thank gods there was no head spinning or pea soup.

Tonight was ice cream - and currently waiting to work up the energy to walk to the kitchen and partake in some sacred 'boli.

Feels like old times now - laptop - Yahoo up - sititng here talking to someone over Yahoo that's sitting right next to me.  *chuckles*  Ahhh....good ole' days.

Now if i could just dismiss this monthly goddess form getting in the way of my hopes for the weekend we'd be fine.  *bleargh*

7:04 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Wombat-ish-ness

I'm likened myself to a wombat lately - or some other terribly mean creature when irritated.  That's almost any animal, right?  Even bunnies?  *twitch*

I'm, like, actually 'mellow' about the job thing - i know that will come around.

I think I'm terribly irrated at other aspects of my life, and persons involved in those aspects are just pushing me on and I'm at that snapping/biting off heads mode - even though I've asked some folks (yes, there's a few) to back down or just let the wombat sleep, yanno?  Don't keep poking the wombat....really...it's a bad idea.  If I dont' want to talk about something, that generally means I don't want to talk abotu it - in addition - keepign on poking about it and going on with your own assumptions is just about the same as trying to talk to me about it. 

In addition, I have a few folks laying "claim" over me...and right now..i don't want to be any of these persons babe, kool aid, sweetie, hunny, whatever right now.  It's like, with each of them I feel like i'm trying to bang that one totally misshaped puzzle piece into that spot where you THINK it should go...but it really doesn't.

I'm not content with an overly long distance relationship with someone I dont' feel I share much in common with other than my warped sense of kink, and I'm not content being a happy fluffy fuzzy *muffle muffle, gasp*-ed me.  It's all just too much on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.

But, there IS the exception to that rule, and the Exception Boy knows who he is.  This person respects me,  my desires, my wishes, leaves me alone when needs be, has no grand expectations of me, and is just simply "him" and makes me just simply "me".  And I'm totally content with knowing exactly where we stand, and totally content knowing that in this person I have the outlets for almost every aspect of "me" (aside from the witchyness), and we both know where we stand.  *shrugs*  It's a strange setup - but I don't really give a fuck.  It works.  I HAS worked in the past - before I let someone else dictate to me.  And we are, we have, whatever - repairing/repaired it.

I think my toys are getting dusted off this weekend, and the mindset is getting a good working over perhaps.  I also believe I'll be doing a rededication to my 'path'.  If only I could get the Exception Boy into that aspect *chuckles* - combining the two just make too much sense to me. 

I think I've been trying to happily force myself into this happy little "supposed" Jess.

Fuck that shit.

Yes, such eloquent words...i'm using my 'big girl words'.

I can't play at being happy.

I think I was happiest when I was just being freaky lil' me, on my own with my strange setup with the Exception Boy.  I think that's how it needs to stay for QUITE awhile.

I'm feeling rather content knowing it's really ok to be me....

Oh - as for the interview this morning -  Jesus really DIDN'T want me to do his filing...he wanted me to sell his church pews.  So I asked for my gas money back - but it was a no go.

Ok - this wombat is going off to gnaw on some fingers....  *twitch twitch snarl*

7:32 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Pondering the time drawing near....

....and obviously I'm not the only one.

I'd like to know how his folks got my email address.

I hate being one of, more than likely, the VERY few, if only, one that 'knows'.

And his parents know that.

And, every year, they make an attempt to contact me.

A phone call, an email, staking out the cemetery on birthdays and 'anniversary' date, wanting to bump into me.

I've started visiting his grave on off days - avoiding the birthdays and holidays hoping to not bump into anyone.

Seems they were quicker this year.

They mentioned watching Bridge to Terabithia, finally being able to, and thinking of him and I as kids, and it prompted them to try to get in touch with me.

I'm not sure if i want to pretend that i never got the email, or simply answer back that it was their sons' wish to not have this information shared, and i will abide by that wish.  As I've told them before, as I've been telling them for the past few years.

Maybe I'll be visiting his grave a week or two early now.

I've also started leaving my notes in the theban/magical alphabet with my own twists.

I'm just not entirely sure what to do.  I know they want answers or at least some 'ideas'....but I don't feel as if it's my place to give that - knowing what i know is one thing - but being asked years ago to keep it 'secret' - and I just can't do it.

No, can't do it.

Maybe it's time to down those beers we never had once again....

7:38 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Dreams

So, my dreams have been rather 'strange' lately - but I barf that up to being totally stressed.

I figured I'd "jot" down some of them - and despite how many notebooks, blankbooks, pens I buy - and how many times I tell myself to keep a regular "journal" of these things - I always tend to come on right back to 'here'.

So, let's see.

Recurring themes are "famous" people (underground or otherwise *winks at the trashman*), and a "friend" *cough* that I no longer speak with.  *shrugs*

Lets see...

I've been married to Dani Filth.

I've been divorced from Dani Filth because of this "ex" friend.

Dani Filth bit said ex friend, punched him out, and brought me various implements to shove up said friends ass.  (this makes sense as said ex "friend" *cough* did have an ass obsession.........revenge is sweet?)

I've given Dani Filth a "cornrows".  (seriously, is it bad when that's the WORST part of your dreams?)

Dani Filth has pal-ed around with my dad, tinkering on motorcycles, and then baked cupcakes with my mom.

Had a 'famous' singer/person (on my friends list even) that I am relatively obsessed with (musically speaking...yeah...that's it) move into my old house and pledge his undying love and obsession to me.

Visited a waterpark with afore mentioned person.

Had afore mentioned person kicked out of my old house because he was "free loading".

Moved into old vacant hospital (that really is/used to be here) complete with ghosts and strange things that we chased around and wrote songs about.

Had a 'trashman' helicopter in to see me out on my balcony.

I think i'm more worried about figuring out what the whole "Dani Filth and cornrows" thing means.  *chuckles*

Hmm.....Cradle of Filth goes R&B/Rap? 

*ponders the end of the world*

9:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

W.O.W. Guild - you know you want to

Ok, for anyone who is playing WoW, we've recreated the guild from Sisters of Elune over onto Moon Guard - nicer people, more RP, and, well, my 'mains' are there now.  Jehz has even learned to be a hunter.  *cough*

So if anyone is interested, our info is over yonder:
kindredinspirit.guildportal.com

So, thats:
Alliance, on the Moon Guard server - whisper Jehzamynde

And if I get called "Jass-mihn-da" anymore ima barf.

9:26 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Stinky Girl Says Good Morning

So, yeah, i need a shower.

Been sitting here pounding the virtual pavement as much as possible.

And chewing the inside of my cheek and, yeah, having to run out later for some Anbesol or something - really did it bad.

Practically got thrown out of bed around 5 this morning by the cats.  They are making it QUITE apparent that Mommy is totallly cramping their daytime style.

I took my frustrations out on the apartment and cleaned - everythign but vacuuming because it was too early.

Have yet to get a shower - still - but that's soon.

And I'm lonely.....

7:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Celebrities

As mentioned in the previous post, my list of:

Celebrities I'd Fuck Or At Least Cuddle With  (these I guess are the more off the wall ones that mom found 'interesting')

Bill Nighy
Bill Paxton
William Hurt
Steve Buscemi
Will Patton
Hector Elizondo
....edit:  since someone says there's too many Wills/Bills:  Petere Stormare

2:05 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Never ends

One break, that's really all I'd like.

Have I really don't that much "shit" in my life that I can't get a fucking break?

Six 20-ish am this morning my phone goes off.

My boss.

I'm thinking something happened over the weekend.

Apparently so.

I'm told my position is no longer pertinent or profitable to the future of the company.

Now, granted, this was a surprise, but not a "shock", so to speak.

I've been getting told over the past few weeks how the 'big boss' isn't happy wtih the addition of the new 'staff' (including me) - and my position has been turning into sales, which, to make this long story short, i was 'promised' it wouldn't turn into - but it did.

I'm doing my best to not run out and by a bottle of vodka right now, and thank goodness my pills were flushed and it's not really possible to OD on melatonin.  *chuckles and twitches*

My head is pounding like you would NOT believe.

Oddly enough, though, I did have an "enjoyable" rest of the day.

Mom took me out for a mother daughter day.

We went to go see Mamma Mia!.  It was her second time seeing it - my first - and i hate admitting i loved it.

I'm  secret ABBA fan anyways.

We laughed - we cried - we laughed some more.

She's also set me on this task of listing my "top celebrities I'd like to sleep with" - because she found it funny that I find Mr. Sarsgard sexy.  *chuckles*  So we're going to compare lists.

My mom can be a hoot sometimes.

So yeah - my head hurts - my eyes are tired and dry from crying.

Mom also had this thing today of talking about the ex alot.  I swear they took it worse than me - or at least i like to think so.  And, then, of course, that freakin' song that i was listening to BEFORE this stupid movie brought it out again (see previous posting of lyrics)  I dont' know why it makes me think of him and the situation.  Mom disagrees, though.

*sighs*

I think i'm going to go sit in my tub under the shower for awhile.

I feel like saying "fuck the world" right now.......

I just started getting over my depression - and here we go again.......

1:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment