To my friends...

I miss you. All of you. Seriously. Contact me. Let's hang out.

6:39 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You can kill me, just don’t get me high

So growing Cannabis sativa (the plant we get Marijuana from) is illegal, no surprise there. Marijuana use being illegal is BS (and I don't even smoke), the fact that you can't even grow a freaking plant is even more ridiculous. I just read an article about a man who was arrested for growing marijuana. The cops found 70 plants on his property that they said were valued at $100,000 (I'd like to know how they arrived at that number), which the man claims he was growing to save money because the cost of weed was going up.

A very common ornamental plant, Ricinus communis, more commonly known as Castor Bean Plant, is perfectly legal to grow, and in fact you see it all over. The kicker is that ingesting just a single seed from this plant is enough to kill you. As the name implies, this is the plant that the poison ricin is derived from.



I guess this isn't that silly. I mean, I could own a gun legally, and even carry it legally, which is far more hazardous that good-ol-boy's weed plants.

I love America!

9:01 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Proof there is no god...

in-grown hairs.

I've seen broken bones heal faster. Fuckin-A!

8:11 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Michael Phelps: The perfect poster boy for America

I've been watching a lot of the Olympics, and if I'm honest, I gotta say I'm sick of hearing about Michael Phelps. He won 8 gold medals. Hooray...

First of all, not many Olympians have the opportunity to compete in that many events because their sport doesn't have 20 different versions of the same damn thing.

Michael Phelps swims from one end of the pool to the other. Big Fucking deal. He does the same thing we can all do, only faster. When I watch gymnastics for example, I can say "I can't believe they can fucking do that." When I watch swimming... Oh wait, I don't give a flying fuck!

"The greatest Olympian Ever" is what I keep hearing. Why? Because he has the most gold medals in one Olympic games? Quantity over quality is certainly the American way.

Also, he looks like he had a mandible transplant from a 5-year-old. Just sayin...

3:50 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Protector or debt collector?

So I got a ticket today, the most bullshit ticket that can be handed out, for having expired tags.

Now I know a good American would ask, "Why haven't you renewed your plates you naughty boy?"
To which I, an apparently sub-par citizen, would reply "because I haven't been able to pay the personal property tax."

I'm gonna skip over the entire personal property tax discussion because that just falls into that whole unconstitutional taxation argument, but think about how all this bullshit mixes together into one big bowl of ass-kicking stew... I got a ticket from a police officer who's job as a public servant is to "protect and serve" for not being able to afford something. The fucked up part was that I planned to pay that shit today when I got my paycheck, and I told him that, but he was completely unsympathetic.

Now I know there's arguments that can be made like "your tags were expired so you were breaking the law" and "how can the officer know your financial situation" and so on, but let's just cut the bullshit and not be douche bags.

Does it seem fucked up to anyone that our tax money that goes towards paying these police officers to "protect and serve" us is actually going towards paying them to enforce our debts owed to the state? Let's face it, if you're pulling someone over for having expired license plates, that's at least 30 minutes that you're not watching out for people that are actually doing dangerous shit.

I know that there has to be some kind of enforcement to keep the state's revenue stream flowing, but it seems to me that the officers' jobs are better suited for things that actually matter to US, not the state. Who are they really protecting?

7:01 PM - 11 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

None of your damn business...

If I happen to see any of you in passing, do me a favor; A simple "hello" will suffice.

Do people not realize that "How ya doin?" is not a salutation, it's a freaking question. I'm not going to stop as I pass you in the hall to answer that question. All I can do is respond with the obligatory "Good" and then maybe follow it up with a "How 'bout you?", but honestly I don't give a shit and I don't want to stop walking so let's cut the crap and just exchange "Hi"'s from now on. Even better, maybe we should all start wearing cowboy hats so we can just tip them towards each other and save breath.

Don't be fat.

8:10 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Batman is a mom-beater?

Maybe you've heard, but apparently Christian Bale was arrested Sunday in London on allegations that he had assaulted his mother and sister. Later he returned to the police station after being released on bail to co-operate with the police because of course he denies the allegations.

As far as I'm concerned, even if he did knock around his mom and sister a little, they probably deserved it.

Don't fuck with Batman bitches!

6:54 AM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Another one bites the dust

I just wanted to take a moment to express my sadness over this whole A-B/InBev deal. It depresses me not because I have a special love for A-B products (in fact, I love many Belgian beers), but because it is a harsh reminder of the direction our country is headed.

I can't speak for everyone, but as far as I'm concerned, Anheuser-Bush is more than just a beer company, rather an American icon. A-B was actually a company that America could be proud to call their own (unlike shitty companies like Ford and GM).

I don't feel like getting in to a long conversation about everything that is wrong with this country (because you know I can), I just wanted to say how sad I was about it.

Have a good weekend. GO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT!

3:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Dark Knight: My Review

My biggest fear was that this movie wouldn't be able to live up to the ridiculous amount of hype it's been getting.

This movie fucking drop kicked my brain... holy shit is it good. Not just a good superhero flick; Dare I say one of the best movies I've ever seen... ever!

There's really nothing else I can say that hasn't already been said.

1:15 AM - 5 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

you know...

sometimes people say they are "hittin' the sack"...

What of they meant they were punching their scrotum?

think about it.

10:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment