shadows in the night

so this is the second time in a year that i wake up to the same nightmare,

well the first time i know it was a dream, this 2nd time though im 98% certain it was far from being a dream

 i looked it up and apparently this is a really common experience, but it does little to comfort me

last nite i felt a presence in my room, i opened my eyes and didnt really see much, but the feeling was so intense that i didnt let myself go back to sleep, as my eyes got adjusted to my surroundings i saw a shadow standing right beside me, (i dont EVER sleep on that side of the bed ever ever ever, but since they broke into our house last week, i was too scared to sleep where i usually do.) so yeah i looked at this thing and fear took over my body i sat there frozen completely unable to move for what seemed like eternity it was just a shadow no shape no body just a blob of darkness, but i know it was watching me

after the initial shock, i finally made an attempt to get up and get help but the shadow was faster to react , it quickly hovered above me and proceeded to suffocate me, thru the haze i saw that my door was locked and at first i tried to make it the shadow loosen its grip but with each passing moment the feeling of despair was weakening me

my body was oddly contorted from the struggle. my feet were touching the floor but the rest of me was still being smothered i yelled and yelled the entire time but i couldnt hear myself (in reality all i was really doing was moaning and groaning in pain, which is usually the part when somebody hears me and snaps me back to reality, but this time my door was locked so there was no way my brother wouldve heard me)

finally the shadow faded out and  released me and i ran out of my room breathless and with my heart thumping uncontrollably i just ran to my moms room  and stood in the middle of the room and completely broke down crying completely consumed with fear, i told  her about  all the dreams that ive been having this year,

(dreams of which im not gonna talk about)

but even still she doesnt really believe it means anything.

i however am very certain its something really bad....

the experience itself is mundane in writing but it does no justice to the feeling of fear it caused me

its just a shadow, but just try to imagine urself peacefully sleeping and suddenly wakening to find soomething standing over you just watching you sleep

its an uneasy feeling

anyways i now have no intentions of ever sleeping again.

so i think i know what it means but i wanna know what you guys think it means

michelle tells me its my stress manifesting into dreams

bertha straight out told me black shadows and men in black suits are actuallly  the devil !!!!

so yeah if that was the devil i met last nite, i got problems!   yup major problems

7:43 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

2nite

so, i discovered 2nite, that i have NO ALCOHOLIC TOLERANCE whatsoever anymore


ive become quite aquainted with sobriety

my tiny body refuses to co-operate with me

good news?
bad news?

i dunno
but i still managed to have lots of fun


we taught the guys the difference between a rabbit "the rabbit" and a "dildo"
it took them a while to realize we werent refering to a bunny!!!

so a lesson to all you guys out there, when a girl says she wants "the rabbit"  please dont suggest the local flea market as a place where we can buy actual rabbits!


anyways moral of my story.....julz cant hang, and "rabbits" are fun





ok  thats enough  of my drunk randomness,  g.nite
see ya @ claudiaG's b-day bash 2nite whoo-hoo!

2:18 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

life....
Current mood: sassy

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

Currently listening : Trey Day By Trey Songz Release date: 02 October, 2007

8:21 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

victoria beckham

im madly in love with her,

of course i h8 her mind her empty soul and her way of life,

but i love her hair her style and her husband

is it so wrong to just wanna stare at her.




i mean gaw damn the woman is too effin posh

6:46 PM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

my shitty day

so the other day i went on break alone, and i walked into the breakroom with my lil chic-fil-a bag, and there was a table with about 8 girls and 1 guy,  all the other six tables were empty, so i just smiled and walked over to an empty table, being stared at the whole way (but im very used to that already) so i pulled out the chair and the guy looked up at me, and asked me to sit with them, so i as ackward as i knew i was gonna feel, i decided to sit with them. and when i sat down at their table, EVERYONE got up and left except the guy,(i LITERALLY cleared that room within seconds) me and him just looked at each other in disbelief then we sat there trying to ignore what had happened.

it didnt phase me though

then i come home, and i get a message from some guy ( a "myspace" friend) asking me if he and i could be more than friends. i tried to change the subject but it didnt work,

his response wasnt the nicest, he basiclly went off saying

"its girls like you that make guys the way we are" blah blah blah"ur just like all these fake girls." blah blah blah. "just because ur pretty it doesnt mean you have to act like bitch" blah blah blah"im sorry i dont look like allthose lil pretty boys you talk to" .....

as if that wasnt bad enough, he assumed i was "playing" all the guys on my myspace!?!    wtf?!  me? a player?!

then he made me angry when he wrote "what are you gonna do when the party stops" when ur looks fade!"    he went off on me that whole nite his messages just full of anger towards me, and none of what he was saying had anthing to do with me i know im none of those things

i know im not vain and  i know im not a player and i damn sure aint a bitch

so anyways today as i made me way to the front desk i felt someone stare intently at me, so thru the corner of my eye, i saw a girl giving me the mother of all "stare me down's" and i didnt think too much of it people stare all the time so i kept walking then my friend comes up to me and asks me, do you know those girls that were in the front? i said "no, why???" and she said "i saw her thru the mirrors she kept staring at you and when you passed by, she told her friend" i HATE that girl"

holley said " i so wanted to take her down when she said that" and it made me smile cuz holley is the cutest nicest girl i know but she was angry for me , it was so cute of her.

when i told michelle about it, she said "were the girls fat?" and i said yeah. and of course michelle made my day when she replied... "yeah those bitches were jealous, if they even go near you ill pop the shit out of them"    

so yeah i definatly feel hated but my only comfort is knowing that i am also very loved :)

so yeah i had a shitty day

10:59 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

*cute* comment of the day

aww i know this one is kinda lame, but c'mon at least it was cute and it made me laugh .....

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: miles
Date: 27 Dec 2007, 04:58 PM

beewoooweooooweoooop beewoooweooooweoooop thats the sound of an ambulance, because you stopped my heart

7:34 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

dirty comment of the day....
Current mood: handsome

so umm this guy kept it quite interesting,

enjoy....

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: LIKE A PIMP HAD TO BRING IT BACK FOR 2008
Date: 21 Dec 2007, 11:54 PM

WELL FIRST THINGS FIRST GET THE ICE PUT IT IN A BOWL OF WATER TO MELT DOWN THE EDGES SO NOT TO SHARP.PUT AN ICE CUBE U MY MOUTH START KISSING AN NIBBLING ON THE BACK OF UR NECK WORK MY WAY DOWN UR BACK AND KISS AND DO LITTLE BITES ON UR BOOTY FLIP U OVER AND START KISSIN ANSUCKIN ON UR PINK NIPPLES WIT THE ICE IN MOUTH AND WORK MY WAY DOWN THE STOMACH DOWN THE LOWER REGION TO THE KAT THAT IS HOPEFULLY SHAVED TO MAKE IT FUN UM AND START LICKIN AND KISSIN AND SUKIN ON THAT TONGUE MAKE U CUM AND WORK DOWN THE LEGS TO THE TO THE TOES AND TREAT THEM TOES LIKE THEY WERE POP CYCLES LOL UM HOLLA AT ME GURL ON THAT ONE

12:04 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

comment of the day

well at least this guy actually read my profile b4 writing to me :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Steve
Date: 18 Dec 2007, 07:31 PM

What up sexy? Whatcha doing tonight? Girl, I would do more than just strum that body like a guitar. You have an awesome body and look so damn beautiful.

7:38 PM - 7 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

dont read this

I'm the girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you...

I'm the girl who likes to be kissed in the rain, more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive restaurant...

I'm the girl who says,"okay, but you owe me..." jokingly not because I actually want something, but because it means I get to spend more time with you...

I'm the girl you can take absolutely anywhere and I will (or at least try to) have fun because it means I am spending time with you...

I'm the girl who is incredibly picky, but when I find someone I like I want to spend the whole night curled up in their arms...

I'm the girl who never forgets all the sweet little things you do for me...

I'm the girl who never gives up hope even when I tell others I have...

I'm the girl who once I let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it.

Even if we spend time apart, i'm the one who never forgets you

I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...

I'm the girl who you can talk to about anything...

I'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...

I'm the girl who will have many inside jokes with you and will remember each one...

I'm the girl who will brag about you to all of my friends...

I'm the girl who will listen to you talk...

I'm the girl who really does want to be friends after a break up....

I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me for no apparent reason...

I'm the girl who loves you for you, and doesn't care what other people say about us...

I'm the girl who loves it when you kiss me on the forehead..

I'm the girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend...

I'm the girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a word...


SWEET HEARTED GIRLS : If you are this girl repost this saying "
DUDES: If you want this girl repost "I want this Girl"
LUCKY DUDES: Repost "I have this girl"
UNLUCKY DUDES: "i had this girl n i want her back

10:00 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

GUYS R WIERD!

so my best guy friend once asked me "WHATS THE NICEST SWEETEST THING A GUY HAS EVER DONE FOR YOU?"  he caught me off guard cuz he was being serious, and i had no answer for that, i just sat there for 5 minutes and couldnt think of anything, so then he said "ok well let me ask you this...HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN ANY GUY A CHANCE?"  i was completely dumbstruck! i knew exactly what point he was trying to make

i know ive had my guard up for a while, but damn i just never thought anyone noticed :P

i dont have trust issues, in fact im completely naive when i like someone

ok so yeah maybe i do have my wall set up a lil bit too high, but c'mon if a guy truly liked me and really wanted me...he'd bust straight thru that wall, letting nothing get in his way. thats no secret babes, that the damn truth.

and then theres my friend chris...he asked my y i was still single knowing i could get any guy i wanted. but i feel like its not about that, im aware that i "look" a certain way, and dress a certain way...giving guys the IMPRESSION that i AM THAT WAY...so pretty much the guys that want me are the guys that arent FOR ME!!

im the kind of girl u wanna take to your momma! i dont look the part, but trust me i am still that girl, that part of me will never change

love was never meant for me

im not a home-wrecker or a heartbreaker

im not a P.I.M.P or a PLAYER

im not bitter or lonely

im just a skinny girl with pink hair enjoying my wonderful life

 So thats my story!   ... ima keep doing things my way until somebody proves me wrong

so....BOO-YAH

1:19 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment