Hello Everybody! I've been so busy that I haven't had muchtime for this and plus my internet has been failing lately so I need to do some maintenance to my wireless. Most likely it will continue thisway until after my brother's wedding next week due to a busy schedule and home projects that HAVE to get completed.
Two nights ago I went to a Phillies game and took some shots in one of my favorite photo taking places...Citizens Bank Park! They played the Marlins and lost pretty badly but it was still a fun game cause it was packed to the gills, standing room only which is naturally where I ended up. I like this shot cause I managed to getthe ball just after it was hit... I have heard that this is the best park for vegetarians, but Im usually to drunk to figure out where the veggie dogs are.
I've taken some pretty bad bus rides in my life. We all have war stories of the greyhound. I've been from Boston to Seattle on the bus no less than 4 times and have done Vegas to Boston twice and the entire NE corridor more times than I can count., There's always one stinky guy, one drunk guy, one mentally ill guy, and other random fun folks. It's never hard to share a joint or a beer on the bus. One time I was in Port Authority waiting for the 2am Boston non-stop. This one beer bellied middle aged guy (yes like me but not at the time) was with his mother and had about 14 pieces of what was once luggage but had become a mass of tape and straps and rope and vestiges of leather with hamdles half on. I can respect that. But then the guy started getting really defensive when some young women behind him were laughing. At what I don't know, but it could have been anything in the 1:40 AM freakshow that is Port Authority. He started yelling. "ARE YOO LAUGHING AT MY GLASSES. MICHEAL JACKSON WEARS SUN GLASSES AT NIGHT! WHATS SO FUNNY ABOUT SUNGLASSES!" This quieted everyone down for a second then one guy yelled, "Micheal Jackson fucks children to!" Then everybody laughed which really setthis guy off. The driver almost didn't let him on board but this was long before 9/11 and things were just more relaxed then. The idea was, "let the crazy guy ride, how the hell else we gonna get him out of the city." Naturally he began really going crazy when the driver never stopped at Hartford. They were arguing back and forth. At one point the guy next to me said, "If he pulls any shit I'll stab his fuckin ass...yoo got my back?" "Of course." We were now bus comrades. The driver eventually dropped the guy off right on the highway with all his shit. It was nuts. Or so I thought until today.
Yesterday on a long distant busride in Northwest Canada a guy went insane and killed the guy next to him by stabbing him dozens and dozens of times with a hunting knife. From what the guy in front of them said, "He was really calm, like a robot just stabbing over and over and the other guy was just screaming horribly." I'll bet he was. Everybody got off as the driver made an emergency stop. The driver reboarded the bus with two other men and the guy was still hacking at the guy's lifeless corpse and tried to rush them. They locked him inside and disabled the bus so it couldn't move. While everybody waited for the police to arrive the guy cut off his victims head and brought it to the front window to show everybody. I guess this will teach them to play movies like Zorro on there...I saw that movie on a plane and it made me want to do the same thing. Here's the official BUS KILL
I was quite excited when I saw the package at the door...it was my new digital high def video camera that I got for a steal on ebay! I opened it up, downloaded the software, plugged the fucker in and shot some test video and pictures. I played it back on the small camera then I plugged it into my laptop. Nothing. My laptop won't recognize it. I actually spent the next 4 hours trying to make it work. My computer told me in one of those little cartoon speaking bubbles that "the device can work faster in a faster port. For a list of available 2.0 ports click here." I click it even tho I know for sure that I only have the 2 standard USB ports. There's nothing. I try downloading drivers I try emailing the company. The only phone numbers they have go to machines and finally late at night after I'd sent a succession of aggravated emails and calls as I plunged into one of those "How can a 4 inch long piece of electronics make me into a sasquatch." I was ready to explode into a giant storm of wires, pixels ,ports, dcims, and pure rage. I got a final email from the company with a number asking me to call during the day in the week. I called as soon as I woke up. It looks like my laptop doesn't have a port fast enough which makes no sense to me since my goddam Mac from the year 2000 can recognize it but sadly my mac is to old and to slow to do anything fun with video stuff unless yoo have hours and hours to let it try to download stuff before it crashes in exhaustion. The laptop which os a dell refurb that runs video just fine that I load from my regular digital camera won't see the DCIM or mass strorage. Nothing was mentioned in their ebay listing that it needed some fast port different from a rergular USB. So now I'm packing it back up to bring to UPS and send back for a refund which I'm sure that I'll get by thetime I'm ready to collect social security. It makes me wish that I wasn't such a cheapo chisler and just bought the one at Best Buy that was over a hundred bucks more than this one, but I would've had this problem a week ago and had the money back right now rather than being in shipping limbo. I'm never buying a piece of electronics on line again. My dreams of becoming a DIY pornstar have been dashed, well at least until I get a refund and can go out to a regular store and just buy one that I can return like a normal human in the world. After that I read my emails and my friend Mo had sent me this...I thought it was appropriate...
"They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"Meat. They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."
"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."
"So ... what does the thinking?"
"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to meat."
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?" "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Both."
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."
"That's it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."
"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."
she doesn't say much but since she doesn't have hands she can't even sign language...strangely alluring.. . . . Thats why shes not wearing anypants ...it's an old Clitorian tradition...we treatpants like the Japanese treat shoes...leave em at the door. Besides without hands its really hard to do two things cook or pull up yer pants. She's already moved in with me and she never gets drunk...she can drink like she's got a hollow leg but can't control ger bladder so I drink her beer...that keeps eeverybody happy.
I apologize for some quality issues but these tapes are getting old so I'm getting them all on disc the old fashioned way...by pointing my digi camera at the t.v.. I'll be putting together more of these as I get it all into digital
Currently
listening
:
Gulag Orkestar
By
Beirut
Release date: 2006-05-09
Check out the cover of the New Yorker that came out today!
Naturally I think it's fucking awesome. I've already heard a whole mess of varying and convincing arguments about it but in the end my humor has very little taste and this shit is right up my alley. It is satire at it's finest and can be likened to Jonathon Swift's Modest Proposal where he argues that the Irish poor should eat their own children. (this was in 1729). The picture of the Obamas is so chock full of offensiveness it's wonderful. Note the american flag burning in the fireplace! There's a lot of folks that saw it that are concerned that there are a lot of folks that will see it that won't understand it as parody and it will only re-enforce what are already blatant propaganda by the right about Obama's background. My thinking is this, folks that will think that already have their minds made up anyhow. Besides the New Yorker is a lefty magazine read by liberal elites who are already voting for the guy anyhow. Should I be so unconcerned with this? I just think there's so much more horrible stuff in the world that deserves our attention and this deserves a chuckle and then moving on...really. Yes this election may end up being the most important one of my lifetime and I have done work for my candidate and will be voting. It's just hard to take a cartoon seriously when folks are shooting each other right down the street. Seriously... Peepul have asked me how I can believe in such lofty things as peace when it's so apparent that the human race is full of morons. I'm not sure. All I know is that Ive seen it happen in small scale so I know it is possible in large scale...maybe not likely, but possible and therefor worth believing in. I've been a little bit of an emotional mess this past week. It's been a very trying one for me I'm about 1/4 of the way through the final edit of Mother of Wishes and I can't wait to give it to all of yoooooo.
she doesn't say much but since she doesn't have hands she can't even sign language...strangely alluring..
