Hand holding
Current mood: productive
Category: Romance and Relationships

Yesterday while I was taking my walk around Downtown LA there was this couple in front of me. The reason they caught my eye was because their hands would brush and they girl would try to grab but the guy never acknowledged the hand grab. His hand had the curl but he never grabbed on. The girl let it go they walk half a block and then she did it again. She kinda cupped his hand but again no response and this time she's doing the gentle caress then cupping and nothing from the guy. She glances at him and he's looking straight ahead she says something in Spanish and he replies but never really looks at her. She stops trying to hold his hand again and sure enough 30 secs latershe tries again and nothing. Finally she put her hands in her pocket.

And all I could think was 'how sad is that?!' I've been that girl!! If a guy can't even hold your hand while you walk down, won't even acknowledge you then he's simply not that into you and its time to move on. ....

Yes I know some guys do not care for PDA but hand holding isn't that hard to do and just ignore someone who's next to you tells me you're there for sex and feel trapped. If you don't want to be a relationship then just leave. Why waste time? Time is precious screw the bastards and find a new frog! ....

Currently reading : Last Call: A Novel of Suspense (Jack Swyteck) By James Grippando Release date: 2007-12-18

6:21 AM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Reminders
Current mood: breezy
Category: Life

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a lazy ass but as my 32^nd b-day arrives it makes me realize I haven't done shit. Surprisingly I'm not too upset about my lack of….movement.

So, I'm making a list to remind myself to do stuff:

1. Photography – As much as I enjoy taking pics of myself with my camera phone I miss taking random pictures of friends and strangers. When I was in the camera store a few weeks ago I saw some photography books that actually looked interesting. I think I will make that purchase soon. I want to take pics like this but better.

1. Decorate – My bedroom is a disaster…..no really. It looks like a messy storage unit. It's not feminine. The only reason you know a girl lives there is because of the butterfly sheets. This would be nice: OR 

I love blue so I had to include this pic!

1. School – I always find a way to avoid it. I need to just get off my ass and register. I feel like I'm stuck in HS and I didn't pay attention to crap in school. When I hear people discuss the classics I feel like a loser for not knowing what the hell they're talking about.
2. Guitar – I own 2 guitars I think its time I got lessons. I've had one of the guitars for 8 yrs. One of my old co-workers would come by and tune it up for me but I won't play it.
3. Swimming- Its time for the lessons. If I ever have a kid or adopt I will make sure they have swimming lessons so they will never have to feel like a weirdo because they can't.
4. Vehicle – I need another car. My mother has jacked me for mines and with me not using it everyday I have no excuse not to let her borrow it.

So this year I have to actually do shit on this list. No half assing it!!!

Currently watching : Ghostbusters Double Feature Gift Set (Ghostbusters/ Ghostbusters 2 and Commerative Book) Release date: 2005-08-02

1:47 PM - 15 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment

Chapstick is the devil!!!
Current mood: sore
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

For the second time this month my lips feel raw, like I've eaten too many sunflower seed but worst. For the last few days I thought I was taking in too much salt but in reality it was worst than usual. I've been taking my medication.

Last night before I went to bed I put chapstick on....ok I globbed it on. I didn't care I wanted to hydrate my lips. this morning my lips felt worst. Thats when I realized it was the chapstick. I guess the chapstick was actually drying my lips out so I would put on more.

Normally before I go to sleep I dab vaseline, I couldnt find the vaseline so I used chapstick and I realized I've used it every night this week.I keep leaving my vaseline at work but tonight its going home with me!!!

Since I've gotten to work I've glossed my lips like 5 times and I can not tell you how much better they feel.

My sad lips  ----->

Currently listening : Numb Pt. 2 Release date: 2003-09-16

7:41 AM - 8 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Denied!
Current mood: blah
Category: Blogging

my stupid HMO denied my request to se this one particular Doctor. The good news is my regular Doctor is going to try again but in the UCLA family. She warned me I may not get the guy I wanted so at least it wasnt a complete dissappointment.

I think I'm taking in too much salt, my lips feel like they're filled with salt. I'm drink alot of water and just hoping this feeling will go away.

Currently listening : Three Ring Circus

7:24 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Movie: GET SMART
Current mood: giddy
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

So last Thursday night (5.29.08) I went to a screening of GET SMART starring Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, and Dwayne "ROCK" Johnson at the Arclight in Hollywood. Little did I know when I got the passes from one of those annoying guys at the Grove it was sponsored by MTV for the MTV movie awards. And after the movie there was a Q&A with Steve Carell.

One of the first questions came from this guy name Clifton Wilson…..this guy was a complete trip imagine a guy with the surfer/stoner mentality but black….yeah it was hilarious. He said something on the lines of  "How did you come up with a cup of funny and a cup action and get movie awesomness?" I kid you not!! Carell laughed out loud and said "in the papers Rolling Stones will have a quote and some other newspaper but your quote is the quote I want to see….movie AWESOMENESS? I love it". Clifton had the best comment of the evening. Some girl got up there to ask if he knew what happen to the set, if it was a GREEN set. SERIOUSLY? Every set recycles bitch, next question. I didn't have a question for him, even when MTV was in my face I had nothing.

I liked the fact this movie has plenty of action, some comedy and enough of reminisce of the TV show but with an updated vibe. The movie it self is funny and The Rock looked amazingly HOT!! Sorry I've loved that man since he was running around he the WWE saying " DO you smell what the ROCK is cooking?". Even Carell mentioned his wife was drooling over the ROCK. My love for him has been non-stop and true. And his divorce was finalized last week.....can you say stalking time….well the way gas prices are I will have to just live in my head. Sorry Rock I can't afford to follow you around.

I will admit I got a little happy with the ROCK pics....can you blame me?

Y-U-M-M-Y!!!!!

Anne Hathaway is simply gorgeous. I hate her!!! My favorite scene is when she and Carrell have a dance off.

This Thursday I'm going to the Hulk. Wish me luck!

Currently reading : The Daddy Plan (Silhouette Special Edition) By Karen Rose Smith

11:26 AM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Should I be scared?
Current mood: sick

This morning as I was walking into work I noticed there was not 1, not 2 but 7 BOMB SQUAD trucks on Grand Ave. When I saw the first 2 I thought they were in the local Starbucks but 7! Yeah something was up but nothing blew up so I guess I'm ok. I wanted to take a picture but I think its illegal or something....or am I mistaken?

I have a bad cold and its making me whiney.

I'm looking forward to Sex and the City on Friday.

Currently reading : Falling For King's Fortune (Silhouette Desire) By Maureen Child

11:08 AM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Fuck Cheap Bastards
Current mood: sore
Category: Life

When I first moved to my apt. they asked if I wanted to pay for parking. I declined but after a month it became difficult to find parking in the evenings. So I coughed up the $50 a month for a spot in the garage across the street for 2 yrs. When my roommate got a car we were able to get 2 parking spots closer to the apt for $60 a month. And since my family has had my car 98% of the time I pay for an empty spot but its still MY SPOT. Lately some cheap ass bastards have been parking in my spot or my roommates spot.

A few weeks ago I had to call security and about they said these lazy bastards are constantly parking in RESERVED spots and towed but they won’t stop. Last night a friend came over to watch the game and he parked in my space (no problem because we told him to park there so we didn’t have to get him a space). When my roommate got home someone was parked in her space. We know its the guys next to her and his friends.

I don’t even think twice I tell the roommate to call security, and they towed his ass. That’s right I’m the bitch that will have your ass towed for parking in my space. I’m sorry but I’m not paying $60 a month for your sorry ass friends, so you realize what I can do with that money every month? Why can’t they pay the additional $60 and get a space for yourself/guest or better yet have them park at the Ralph’s down the street (they NEVER tow there!)! Stop being a cheap bastard and get another Reserved space.

Fuckers!!!

Good news I walked more than 90 mins yesterday, sore as hell but feel good again.

1:48 AM - 6 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

POP MUSIC makes you crave Zoloft
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Music

Instead of listening to my ipod, I decided to explore CBS Radio’s other stations across the US. I chose Seattle since that is one of the places I would like to visit or live (why I don’t know).  I’m listening to KISS FM, like all Kiss stations - CHEESY!! Then they start playing Joe’s ’I wanna know’.....oh me and this SONG!!! It never fails to put me in a weird mood....cross between tearful and needy - both NOT good for me. I try to change the station but I can’t resist listening and singing along.

This song reminds me of my sad last days with Robert....I would sing this song in the car thinking if only I could find a way make him love me as I love him.

I Wanna Know lyrics

Yeah, oh yeah
Alright, oh, oh, oh

It’s amazing how you knock me off my feet, hmm
Everytime you come around me I get weak, oh yeah
Nobody ever made me feel this way, oh
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath away
So I wanna know

[1] - I wanna know what turns you on
So I can be all that and more
I’d like to know what makes you cry
So I can be the one who always makes you smile

Girl he never understood what you were worth, hmm no
And he never took the time to make it work
(You deserve more loving, girl)
Baby I’m the kind of man who shows concern, yes I do, oh
Anyway that I can please you let me learn
So I wanna know

[2] - Tell me what I gotta do to please you
Baby anything you say I’ll do
Cause I only wanna make you happy
From the bottom of my heart, it’s true

I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alright
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, oh
I do believe that there’s a love you wanna share, oh, oh
I’ll take good care of you lady, have no fear, oh
So I wanna know

Thankfully I’m no longer in that place. Hey if a guy can’t love me for me then fuck ’em.

So my blue feelings continue on and then I finally hear a song by Taylor Swift....now remember I’m in a mood where a hug would make me feel WAY better and as I’m sitting in my cubicle I listen to the words thinking....’my god POP music is so fucking depressing!!’

This is why I love ROCK music. I don’t have to sit there an hear a song that will make me so desperate I’s date some asshole and be sad and pathetic.

Teardrops On My Guitar lyrics

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see
That I want and I’m needing everything that we should be
I’ll bet she’s beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she’s got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it’s so damn funny
That I can’t even see anyone when he’s with me
He says he’s so in love, he’s finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he’s all I think about at night

[Chorus:]

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can’t breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She’d better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she’s lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I’ll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart
He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do
He’s the time taken up, but there’s never enough
And he’s all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see.

Screw you Taylor!!

I guess that’s Monday for you!!!

Currently listening : Eyes Open By Snow Patrol Release date: 09 May, 2006

10:26 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

St. Patty’s Day 2008
Current mood: Working!
Category: Working! Blogging

St. Patty’s day did not go as I originally planned. The original plan consisted of me being at a bar by 6:30 am drinking green beer for $2 a cup, 2 Irish bombs and maybe some cornbeef hash.

Well that plan went out the door when I was so broke I had to borrow money from my roommate’s piggy bank, then she’s been sick and going back and forth to the doctor.

I took the day off as planned but decided to cook cornbeef and cabbage. I should mention I’ve never made this meal so it was new to me. After 2 rum and cokes before 9 am, I went to the store and got potatoes. When I got home I re-read the recipe and needed beer! Dammit. So around noon after another 2 rum n cokes I broke into the bank and got some change and went to 7/11 for beer.

I start to sober up, roommate comes home and we eat.....not enough salt!! Dammit!! Didn’t the black chick just get kicked off TOP CHEF for lack of salt? We head out to Callendar’s for more drinks and cheap food with Reggie from our VEG days and stay there for an hour then move over to the bar in the FARMER’s MARKET. Got a pitcher of beer and had a couple of glasses.  

I guess we got hungary again because then the thing I know we had Chips n Salsa and more beer in front of me. I barely remember getting home but I remember watching part of the new Batchlor (he’s HOT!!! and from London! -  Lucky Bitches!).

Overall a good time considering I was broke as hell!!

10:56 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Another day & no dollar..
Current mood: blah
Category: Blogging

I hate to blog only when I’m sick today not sick - YAH!! The nausea was caused by a peanut butter garnola bar. Who knew?

One month ago I was on my wat home from hawaii. Damn I miss that place!!! LOL It was a great trip. The camera broke the second day. One day I might post the pics from the camera phone. I did hike 80 ft to see a waterfall.

Ok i lied....last night I happliy dreaming when I noticed I couldnt breathe.....even in my dream I knew what washappening. I had to calm myself down in order to breathe. I woke up suddenly taking deep breathes. A few hours later it happens again. I know what I need to do about this and I’m doing it tonight. Fuck it!!

My mom is moving to Atlanta as soon as she sells her house. That means I have to find Cash a new home. My dad won’t take her because she’s a big dog, she’s not even allowed over there. I want to find her a home where they would lover her like crazy. Hopefully New Leash on Life will take her at least I know they will screen properly.

If i could have a dog in this apartment she would be with me. She such a wonderful dog. Makes me want to cry.

Currently watching : Still Standing - The Complete First Season

10:09 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

No Verdict yet.
Current mood: okay
Category: Life

So I went to the doctor last night and I barely made it there, due to major traffic jam on Wilshire & Westwood I had to hope off the bus at Wilshire and Glendon and practically run to UCLA….lets just say I got a weeks with of exercise in that 10 mins. Who knew I could walk so fast. I'm happy to report I didn't throw up when I got to the doctor even though I wanted to lose my lunch.  And yes I was late! URGH!! I felt bad about that. 

So far she believes it could be:

1. Pregnancy: I so DOUBT it!!! Sorry girls my size rarely get pregnant and that's a fact.

2. Gallstones:  lodged and making me sick.

I seriously think it's the gallstone gone haywire. It just makes more sense.

Last night I had blood drawn, which is already difficult for me because they can't always a vein right away (they call people like me a hard stick) but last night I saw my usual Lab nurse and she can usual get it in 10 minutes, last night she had to call someone over to help. I was so cold they had to put heating packs on my arms. Each time they think they have a vein they'd poke me and then the vein would roll away, so they're trying to move the needle around with out hurting me. Sadly I'm so use to this that I know to hold my breath and look away. The nurse was so cool she would tell me funny stories to distract me….I think she's my favorite nurse at UCLA. But they finally got it and I gave several tubes of blood. YUCKY!!

I still have to get an Ultra sound and see a GI (this doctor is so CUTE!!! He has the prettiest brown eyes and I just want to stare into them).

Today the nausea isn't so bad so I'm hoping its just going away, we'll see how the day goes.

8:38 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Nausea
Current mood: nauseated
Category: Life

I've been nauseated since Sunday and its getting progessivly worst. Today I woke up feeling pretty good (super tired but good) and I actually made it to the bus stop a little early, feeling alright. By the time I got off the bus I thought I was going to throw up and the walk from my bus stop to the office was painful. I just wanted to cry it was so bad.

I can't figure out why I feel like shit. Walking around my office just isnt worth it and since its Month end I'm on the go constantly (or i should be). I called my doctor and she's going ot fit me in to see what's up. Sometimes eating helps but I just finished a sandwich and I was to hurl.

Tomorrow no eating. broth only.

1:19 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The mind is a terrible thing to waste
Category: School, College, Greek

I will admit my Supervisor pissed me off and I was ready to give up. And I realized....that's what I always do. I always find a way NOT to go back to school. I change direction (not that I have a real direction), I never have money (but I always have cash for Target), or I don't have time (I can watch all my shows on tivo 5 times while reading a book). So in other words stop the bullshit!!

I was able to finish my admission process over the phone, with a little patience it took about 20 mins. Once I recieved my ID number it meant I could make appointments online as well as register for classes. In order to take the course I truly want I must take English 101, so that means that damn test. I'm scheduled to take it @ 5:30 on 1/15/08. YIKES!!!

So hopefully I can register for the Engish 101 by the end of the month. In a few months I will take the Math testing...I fear it the most. Considering I'm in accounting...something about numbers scare me.

My plan is to take courses that supports this crappy ass job/career. Hopefully it will give me the confidence to take on a Supervisor position by the time I'm 35. Plus for personal reasons I want to do some writing (articles or those book ideas I keep outlining) but again never very confident so I feel like these classes will help.

I haven't told my family for many reasons....My dad will want to know my major and think I will become president of some company....sorry pops I'm just trying to become an adult. My mom will give me that pity look of Do-You-Really-Think-You're-Smart-Enough-For-College look and probably tell me what I should major (something easy and find a way to make a quick buck). My brother would just give me a that's-cool nod (that's Patrick for you I can count on him not to make me laugh at the whole thing), my sister would be like Patrick without the jokes. And I would never share this with my other brother because I don't think he'd care one way or another.

I'll tell them once I'm in the class....maybe after 3 weeks of actually being in the class...then again if Patrick reads this blog he'll know.

Currently listening : Shut Up & Drive By Rihanna Release date: 03 September, 2007

12:53 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Fuck the Man!!
Current mood: pissed off
Category: School, College, Greek

When I listen to the Frosty, Heidi and Frank show online they have a commerical that says 'A mind is a terrible thing to waste'. And I also wrote:

"Go Back to School, Don't be afraid, take one class"

I applied online to West La and I feel good about it. So now I need to actually register but I need a freakin ID, that means I have to go down there plus I need to take an Assesment test.

I tell my boss this and ask to come in early and he said no. Before I can get the words out I'm denied.This is a tell/tell sign they won't adjust my schedule on the day of the class (which I was trying not to do) I'm not asking to come in early so i can get a pedicure! I want to get started on 1 fucking COURSE!!! I'm allowed 10 days a year and I'm already at 7 with my trip to Hawaii and Atlanta.

How can they say they will support people further their education if they're not even going to let you go do this shit?! Why even bring it up in evaluations or interviews?. Yes I get off at 4 pm but it will take me 45 mins to get to the school and another 15 to find parking. Hey this is LA and its spread out.

I knew it was a stupid idea! Fuck it.

Currently reading : His Second-Chance Family (Silhouette Special Edition) By Raeanne Thayne Release date: 01 January, 2008

12:39 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Holy shit its NYE!!!!
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Blogging

I realized I havent written a blog in over a MONTH!!!

Shame on me but sadly not much has happened. I forget to blog about things i do...just not funny when you forget the punch line.

Okay starting in 20 mins I will be a better person!

My roommate has woken up from her nap, so it time to get the grapes. I hate going out on NYE due to crowds scare me but I think I would have had fun @ Barney's in WeHo.

I've been up since 3:30 am and I'm slowly fading....okay 2 vodka and sugar free lemonade and 2 glasses of wine...I'm surprised I'm still standing. I think it was all the potatoes at dinner

I wish everyone a productive and wonderful new year!!

And I want to give props to my girl Mari for FINALLY getting rid of that dirt bag Peter. You deserve so much more and you will be happier....I PROMISE!!!

Deanna and Berny you made the Summer so much fun and thanks for dealing (and helping ) me with my anti-social ways.

Kathy....I just luv ya!!

Patrick you're the strangest brother a girl can have.

Cool things I did this year....went to NYC, Atlanta, saw a horse in the ocean, redecorated the living room, kept my job even though my manager wanted to fire me, got cable, actually went on walks, actually , met one of my favorite bloggers: Frogger, and my favorite thing of 2007....not willing to accept nothing but the best from guys (if he couldnt treat me like a princess there was no dating).

Luv ya!!!

Currently listening : Clumsy By Fergie Release date: 11 December, 2007

11:32 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment