I'll have the survey du jour with a Slice of Wry... make it light
Current mood: ever so slightly amused

Surveys - are they really blogable? I suppose you could say that they loosely - very loosely - fit the criteria for what motivates most blog writers: the desire to impart an opinion, share a story, initiate discussion, and/or allow for a glimpse into one's psyche. Admittedly, surveys accomplish this on a much tinier scale.

The (usually adolescent) creators of these information amassers claim these little snippets of internet culture beg to answer "how well do you REALLY know me?" The fact is, if you are reading this right now, you probably DON'T know me: if the volume of blog views and reader email are any indication, 90% of you wander aimlessly into my blog and wonder how you got here.

Not wanting to give preference to any one of the zillions of surveys out there, I may decide to add survey questions periodically in a running format. For what it's worth, read on:

YOU:
1. A cuddler?: with the right person
2. A morning person?: only if you believe that "morning" doesn't truly begin until after the second cup of coffee
3. Tall?: perhaps by a midget's standards
4. In your pajamas?: yes
5. Left handed?: for some things (writing), right-handed for others (scissors), ambidextrous for the most part

LAST:
1. Friend you saw: Tony
2. Talked to on the phone: Andy
3. Friend you texted: I don't
4. Was today better than yesterday: that remains to be seen

FAVORITE:
1. Number: people have favorite numbers? seriously?
2. Season: fall

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: Do you like/love anybody right now?
A: romantically? if I answer, how would I be able to keep 'em guessin?

Q: What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
A: praised my coffee maker

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: yes... perpetually, lol

Q: What's the last movie you watched and who'd you watch it with?
A: at the theater? I forgot both the movie (a real bore, by the way) and my date's name (ditto)

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: picked up my darling daughter from daycare

Q: Do you smile often?
A: through clenched teeth, lol 

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: usually

Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: in my bed

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: I'm still in my pjs (pink, if you must know)

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: summer 2006

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
A: I need to get this kid back into her own bed

Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10. 1 being the worst 10 being the best
A: 7
Q: What do you hear right now?
A: music

Q: If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be?
A: coffee (and I am)

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
A: my pride (voodoo boy strikes again)

Q: What's your favorite month?
A: whichever one my income tax refund arrives in

Q: What's your favorite bottled water?
A: the fizzy, fruity ones

Q: How many kids do you want/have?
A: I'm good with the one I have

EIGHT FACTS:
1. Hometown: Port Huron
2. Hair color: brown
5. Eye color: brown
6. Birthday: June 19
7. Mood: to be determined

SEVEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:
1. Have you ever been in love?: more than once
2. Do you believe in love?: ever the eternal optimist am I
3. Have you ever been heartbroken?: absolutely
4. liked someone but never told them?: not likely
6. Are you afraid of commitment?: no - I'm afraid of divorce!
7. Are you thinking of anyone right now?: *sigh* now I am... thanks to these questions, lol

TEN THINGS:
1. Love or lust?: Love
2. Tequila or beer: tequila
3. Cats or dogs?: next time, let's try something that doesn't shed, k?
4: One best friend or 10 regular friends?: one best friend
5. Television or internet?: internet
6. Pepsi or Coke?: I get my caffeine fix from coffee
7. Wild night out or romantic night in? romantic night in
9. Night or day?: depends
10. Instant Message or phone?: ack - scary pop-up boxes vs. talking appliances...

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Been caught sneaking out?: no
2. Skinny dipped? yes
3. Done something you regret?: daily
4. Bungee jumped?: no - but I almost jumped from a plane once
5. Been on a house boat?: yes
6. Finished an entire jaw breaker?: no
7. Wanted something so badly it hurt?: yes
8: Got in a fight: not in a very very long time

7:34 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I don't exist
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

At least, I didn't exist - should you choose to believe one particular phone company, anyway.

First, allow me to insert a plug for my current phone service provider: Sage Telecom is wonderful. Sage Telecom is cheap(er). Sage Telecom makes me giddy with glee... except for the fact that they don't offer broadband internet service. Forced to live in the dark ages with dial-up, I chose the cheapest plan out there at around $5 per month.

Dial-up internet means, of course, that I am limited: no video, music, or graphics-heavy pages (unless I'm patient enough to wait many many minutes for such pages to load... which I'm not). In short - it sucks. But, economically challenged trooper that I am, I made the best of it, since I simply can't afford cable internet, and I refuse to go back to (insert BIG telecom giant here) - the only local company that offers DSL.

I received an interesting postcard in the mail yesterday from my ISP. Evidently, the company has chosen to "concentrate on other aspects of their business" and will no longer be offering internet service as of 6-21-07... which is a few days before my on-line college class begins.

Instant. Panic.

Yes, I know - I very well could simply subscribe to another dial-up ISP and (internet) life will continue on it's agonizingly slow, but merry, way. At a price, anyway. That price just happens to be very near what  (the giant) offers for their cheapest DSL package.

Damn.

You do see my dilemma here, right? Dial-up was bearable when I could pat myself on the back every month when I paid the bill. It ALMOST made the frustration worth it. Now, however, the financial playing field has evened out, with DSL only $4 more than the cheapest dial-up I can find. And there's the issue of reliability: All Vantage kept a steady connection whenever I was on-line, but I have had other dial-up ISPs in the past that weren't nearly as dependable.

Dependability IS an important consideration now: although there are only a few nursing classes offered on-line, I intend to take whatever ones I can. The worst thing that can happen during an on-line exam is to get disconnected - you don't get the opportunity to go back and continue where you left off.

So, it would seem, I need DSL... which means I need to part ways with my cherished phone company and return to my former phone service provider (ya know the one - the megalomaniac of the telecom industry). And, after much grumbling and teeth-grinding, I picked up the phone to do just that.

"Hello Big Telephone Company? I... (*close eyes, take deep breath*) want to come back to you. I know we've had our disagreements, but I think we should put all of that behind us and start fresh." (*grind teeth*)

There. I did it. I crawled back.

Not that it did me any good, because evidently I, or should I say my ADDRESS, does not exist in the vast database this company utilizes. The sales rep actually had the nerve to ask me if I was certain that I gave the correct address all seven times. When I answered that I have owned this house for nearly 20 years, I was once again asked: "but ma'am - are you SURE you gave me the right address?"

Yer kidding, right? (*grind teeth*)

The issue was resolved with a little on-line research of my own. Apparently, my street (which is a number) must be spelled out, in capital letters, without the abbreviation for "street" following. As in: "123 4th St" would become "123 FOURTH." And just like magic - voilà! There I am.

And thus, I DO exist and I WILL have broadband internet again. These are both good things. But the price to be paid is one of compromised principles and weary resignation. I left a company due to poor business practices and deplorable customer service. I would not have willingly returned, had the need not demanded it. Be that as it may, I will still be statistically counted among the group that voluntarily "switched back" - and presumed to have regretted my choice to leave...

...and that sucks worse than dial-up.

9:45 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

character suicide - or - that lying filthy bastard
Current mood: reflective
Category: reflective Life

"Little lies chip away at a person's integrity. A big lie can destroy it in a single blow. Either way, damage IS being done. Those who make a habit of lying for the sake of protecting themselves are actually hurting themselves in the end.

 

As for lying to protect another? Hmmm.... I suppose there may be instances when this is both desired and appropriate, but I think is it FAR too overused as an excuse. If I ask, tell me my ass is too fat - if it truly is - at least then I can do something with the information. Just do it as nicely as you can. I promise I will appreciate it - both the honesty and the kindness with which is was offered. How much the truth hurts depends on how gently it is presented.

 

And by the way, if I don't ask, and you volunteer that information - you're merely using "honesty" as an excuse to be critical. Some people use "truth" as if it were a weapon. The goal here is to strive for sincerity - know your motives."

Currently listening : Linger By The Cranberries Release date: 30 November, 1993

4:11 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I was issued an ultimatum
Current mood: sad

Ultimatums are vile things. By their very nature, they have consequences attached. It can be presumed that the consequences will be negative to someone, regardless of the choice that is made, or it wouldn't be an ultimatum at all – it would be a request that could feasibly be honored agreeably. The premise instead is "do it my way or else." Wars are typically initiated with ultimatums. Ditto for divorces. No, this can never be a good thing.

More about that later. First, let's discuss friendship.

I so cherish my friends! Each and every one adds value to my life. I enjoy talking with them. I enjoy spending time with them. I enjoy the warmth and complete acceptance. My friendships are based on common values and interests, and the mutual respect, admiration, and trust is the cement that bonds it all. Our friends are a hand-picked lot of our own choosing. And I, for one, make my selection carefully.

I had (yes, sadly, that is past tense) a dear friend with whom I had a great deal in common. We connected on many levels, and although our contact had become limited, I still appreciated what he added to my life, whether it be a witty email or a phone call to share the details of a movie he knew I wanted to see. All was good…except I seriously dislike his girlfriend. When he and I met, she was an ex-girlfriend, and the picture he painted of her was less than appealing. Knowing what I know, I am certain she is someone with whom I'd never consider friendship, but she sealed that fate herself when she deliberately caused me turmoil last summer.

Be that as it may, my contact with my former friend was limited enough that I did not have to concern myself with his girlfriend once she lost interest in causing me problems. I had adopted a live and let live philosophy – he was happy, and she was staying out of my hair. If fate had brought her and I face to face, I would have been civil for his benefit, but would have made my exit as soon as it was acceptable to do so. The issue, for me, had become a non-issue. That is, until yesterday. It was he who presented the ultimatum: either I become friends with his girlfriend… or he would end his friendship with me.

I will truly miss his presence in my life.

11:03 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Life with a Slice of Wry, part II: Mama always said I should marry a plumber
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

Last Sunday, my daughter reached that monumental milestone in childhood worthy of excessive praise and standing ovations: she peed AND pooped in the potty.

Prior to this moment of enlightenment, she had resisted each and every attempt to bribe her into using the potty. It wasn't an issue of her "catching on." Oh no, not at all - she could recite to you every step of the potty process... right down to the part where you jump up and down in near religious fervor in admiration for the completed act. Only it was never completed. For that matter - it was never started either. Her reason was simple: she didn't want to. Fortunately, she wanted even less to pee down her leg, which was her only other choice on that fateful Sunday: I had unceremoniously removed her diaper that morning... and refused to put another one on. Life is, after all, about choices. And sooner or later, as certain as death and taxes, she was going to have to make hers.

So here we are now, not quite a full week into it, and my once stubbornly resistant daughter has transformed into the Potty Princess. She has turned a basic human function into a full-time hobby. The  frequency in which she finds the need to "go" would impress an over-zealous Starbucks fan - she visits the bathroom no less than two dozen times daily.

Initially, my presence was required during each and every one of these visits: assistance was needed to adequately arrange clothing, climb up onto the toilet (she quickly lost interest in the little "potty chair" and wanted to use the "big potty"), maintain balance so as not to go for a swim, dismount, tear off the appropriate amount of toilet paper, wipe, and flush. No less than two dozen times daily! That's equal to or more than 24 times in ONE DAY. So you can only imagine my (admittedly guilty) relief when she announced to me "go away momma - I do it myself!" So I did. And all was right in our world.

That is, until yesterday. As has become par for the course, Little Miss visited her favorite room in the house every 20 minutes. She has stopped announcing her intended plans - she simply disappears. The sound of a flushing toilet precedes her return. It has become so routine, in fact, that I barely pay it any mind. But this time, something wasn't quite right. Something was nagging at me from the edge of my consciousness. Something made me pause what I was doing, and take stock of my surroundings. And that something was the sound of a toilet being flushed. And flushed. And flushed.

As possibilities began to register in my now-wary mind, my daughter suddenly appeared... leaving distinct wet footprints in her wake. Her words sent chills down my spine: "Momma... the water won't go down the drain - and it made a super mess!"

Oh. No.

I moved with an amazing degree of speed and agility. Not that it was going to change the outcome of what I was going to discover: my bathroom...under water... toilet water, to be exact. And a quick check of the basement confirmed the true extent: it was raining down there.

At this point, it was still just an issue of having to deal with cleaning up a REALLY BIG MESS, as I was certain that a quick plunging would be all that was required to return the toilet to its former working glory. So I threw a bunch of towels on the floor, grabbed the plunger, and plunged vigorously. Nothing happened. So once again, I became one with my plunger. And once again... nothing. Not a single drop of water escaped down the drain. I will spare you the details of the next hour of my frantic and desperate plunge-n-pray session. Eventually, I had to admit defeat. And do the only sensible thing I could think of: I cried. Then I called my niece Carrie. She has kids. Certainly, this has happened to her. She'll know what to do. And a short while later, she showed up at my door with a plumbers snake.

My hero.

It took her only a split second to assess my frazzled state of being. Obviously, she would need to take matters into her own hands (*ahem* More on THAT later). I stopped her just short of entering my bathroom in her stocking feet, and suggested she put her winter boots back on. Her reply was something to the effect of not wanting to get water from her boots on my floor. Honest.

I merely stared at her silently.

A few minutes later, myself and a booted Carrie were hunched over my toilet in a procedure that must have resembled Lucy & Ethel meet Grey's Anatomy.

her: "snake"

me: "snake." (finding & handing over tools of her choosing)

her: "pliers"

me: "pliers." (ditto)

her: "metal coat hanger"

me: "metal coat hanger."

her: "pencil"

me: "pencil?"

her: "paper clip"

me: "really? um, ok - paper clip."

Nothing was working. Ultimately, there was only one thing left to try. I watched with morbid fascination as she did what had not (thankfully) occurred to me to do: she reached into the belly of the beast... and pulled out a (rather large) wad of toilet paper.

Did I mention that she's my hero?

Currently listening : Turn Around By Enigma Release date: 27 November, 2001

5:29 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

bitter & jaded, part 2: it's about casual sex, stupid - not some neofeminist rant
Current mood: satisfied
Category: Romance and Relationships

Well! Talk about stirring up the joint. My little tizzy did not go unnoticed, and sadly, my target audience remains, for the most part, inanely clueless. (That's "inane", not "insane", although with at least one respondent, I'd wager the difference to be a hair's breadth.) Early on in my prior blog, I professed to having close male friends. I mentioned it again. And again. But I can see where you would conclude that I am a "Man-Hater." (*rolls eyes in annoyance* - yeah, I still do that) Things have, for the most part, calmed. At least, if not receiving any hate mail in the last 12 hours is any indication. But, not being one to let a good debate slip through my fingers, and definitely being one who must always get in the last word – I have invited a guest speaker to give his version of the casual sex debate. Everybody – meet Sam. That's "Coqueto" if you're looking for him (Read his stuff, it's very good! You can find him sitting in my friends basket, or you can simply go here: Coqueto) He is insightful, eloquent… and regarding this topic, of the same opinion as I. Read 'em and weep boys – he's the reason you're not getting laid. We women know there are men like him out there.

Sex With Strangers

 

So, Jabs wrote a blog today saying that he has sex on the first date, and essentially that there is nothing wrong with it, and girls that don't agree are generally hung up on it and they shouldn't be. I replied back in disagreement. I said that women DO get disrespected by guys if they give it up on the first date, or too soon. For that, I was called selfish and judgmental, by the other readers, as well as the guy who said that the "guy who wants to 'wait for love' first is usually a man with a small penis, and that must be my problem." or something like that. Right. 

 

So, I am going to explain.

 

If I want to have sex with a girl immediately, and she wants it too, then it could happen. But if I am willing to have sex with someone I really don't know, what does that say about me? What does it say about her? It says something. What it says to me is that this person has probably had a lot of partners, and probably will have a lot more. Nothing wrong with that, you say?

Well, here are my problems with it-

 

STDs-

I am highly paranoid of these. I had a friend who called me up, sobbing, telling me she had just been diagnosed with genital herpes. She was devastated. Imagine getting a call like that from your doctor. Imagine finding these horrible painful outbreaks on yourself and knowing that you will live with this EVERY day the rest of your life. Genital warts- These last a lifetime too. Now you will have to risk your partner, or spread these things silently, with that boy/girl who you sleep with right away. Or, you will have to tell the people you date, and watch each of them instantly vanish when they get the news. And condoms DO NOT guarantee that you won't get it, or spread it. Think it's funny? Imagine finding this on yourself one morning-

 

It ain't no joke. These are permanent conditions, there is no cure, and you are still willing to have sex quickly, thinking you are protected by that transparent latex? How big of a risk are you willing to take, just because you are horny and your new date is too? Will you risk your entire sexual future just to get off one night? I guarantee there are many people that have these conditions who will simply not tell you.

 

Respect-

Lots of people want to be down on me for saying that I won't respect a woman who will sleep with me the first night. Well it's partly true. More on that in a sec. But here is what I know about the girl who will have sex with me immediately- She has done it before.

1)      She cannot control her sexual urges at all. All she needed to was to be around me, buy into my game, and I got her? That tells me that in a relationship, she may see some other guy who has game and have very little resistance to him. Therefore, like me or not, I WILL NOT trust a girl long term if she gives it up too easy.

2)      She may profess that it's because I am great, but what if I am just flavor of the week? What if she was just telling Paco that same thing last week? What if, after she gets what she wants, she is off telling Leroy the same crap next week? I want NO part of that. None. And she IS suspect of this, fair or not. How could I know otherwise? I barely know her!! Maybe she is a high-caliber woman, but her credibility is not good if she will drop her panties the first night.

3)      She does not attach much value to her sex. I don't like it when girls act like it's the holy grail, but come on- if I didn't have to earn it that is because it wasn't worth anything. If I am going to be "in love" or marry a girl, I want the sex to be special. Really special. If she thinks sex is no big deal at all, then OUR sex will be nothing special. Yep, I might still sleep with her, (I'm no angel) but I will not be marrying her. Girls, if you want to be married one day you can help yourself here.

 

The hunt-

What kind of hunt is that, getting it the first night?? THIS is why guys lose interest quickly, because there is nothing left to hunt, no mystery, no intrigue, no anticipation and suspense. I love those things. Do not deny me these other fun elements. Yes, it's true, there are more facets to women that I enjoy besides pure sex. People that focus most on 'getting off' miss out on all this stuff. Then they wonder later why the magic wears off. It's because they didn't build any. I LOVE the anticipation.

 

So here is an example-

I met a girl once, from myspace, long ago... It was a first date, she was gorgeous, and we hit it off big time. She was all for coming by my house after dinner, coffee, and our first kisses. So I took her home. We got comfortable, and I was laying next to her, and I knew I could have her the first night if I wanted, because I am smooth enough to get it. But I REALLY liked this girl, and so I told her, before we began to do anything- "I just want you to know, I am really impressed with you. I even think you would be a great girlfriend, we could be great together. But either way, we are not having sex tonight. I am going to respect you more than that."

 

What do you think this did for her?? It was pure gold. She loved it. Do you think a man had EVER told her that before? We ended up in bed about a month later, and it was amazing. But that night, though we were hot for each other, and we didn't get laid, we laid the foundation, set the tone, for something great, something real.

 

By telling her that she could not have me, I demonstrated that I can be trusted much more. If I will jump in her pants the first night, she knows I not much more than a dog who can't control himself, and may easily cheat, down the road. If all it takes to get my sex is a little flirting and a couple beers, I cannot be counted on long term. It says that any girl can easily have me. It would also tell her that her sex is really the only thing I am interested in about her, if that's the first thing I go for.

 

Is it so difficult to get to that moment, and share some affection, or kissing, but wait at least a few weeks for it? Is your life going to end if you don't get some tonight? Is there nothing else more important than sex, and gratifying ourselves every chance we get? I know sex is important, but 'getting all the sex you can' is a poor life philosophy.

 

I am tired of everyone here saying "if it feels good, do it" and "if it's right for you, then there's no problem" and no one can tell anyone else how to be, what to do, no real standards of right and wrong. Anything goes. So permissive.

 

I think people like to say that it's all good so they can do what they want, and not have any guilt about it. Nobody enjoys guilt. People want to detach emotion or meaning from sex, so they can get the sex and act like they are unaffected. But I think that they are not being totally honest with themselves. And I don't want to detach it. I want to feel things. I want to have the whole spectrum of what sex can be. I don't want to be detached and emotionally bankrupt. And I would rather wait, than sell myself short. I find it much easier to like myself this way, and difficult to like myself when I violate my conscience.

 

I think sex is like a carnival that comes to town. It has pretty lights and fun thrills, but if you look a little closer, it has an underbelly, a dark side, dirt and trash, and is not as glorious and fun as it looked. Instead it needs to be seen for what it really is, so we are not fooled. Otherwise, we get focused on the thrills and then the dark side we ignored is now something we may also have to face.

 

If you live your life with no self-discipline, no standards, no conscience, then much suffering awaits you. Don't live this way and reject any viewpoint that doesn't fit your lifestyle, and then wonder why everything you touch goes bad, and continue to tell me I am wrong. Sex is a powerful part of life and needs to be respected for the power it has to bring joy, or tremendous sorrow.

 

I learned these lessons the hard way, and made plenty of mistakes here. So I do not judge, and I do understand. I like sex too. I am not waiting for a wedding first.

 

But I won't have sex with strangers.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

See? I told you he is good.

 

Now, before I sashay on down the road, ne'er to return to THIS particular topic again (one can hope), I want to give all of my wonderful, supportive MALE FRIENDS a great big cyber-hug for proving to me once again what value you hold for me in my life.

Currently listening : Kashmir: The Symphonic Led Zeppelin By London Philharmonic Orchestra & Scholes Release date: 21 October, 1997

10:13 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

bitter, jaded, emotionally repressed (or is that repulsed?) sweetie whose give-a-damns...don't
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Romance and Relationships

4:07 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Tears in my Voice
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Life

It was late. The message on the answering machine was vague, but disturbing. It was an urgent matter. Call right away. Uneasiness swelled as I obediently returned the call. The information came in bits and pieces, the words first producing confusion, then shock: Heart attack? Life support? My friend? As I struggled to comprehend the implication of what was being said, I was suddenly swept away in a tidal wave of emotion. I did my best to choke out words of comfort to the voice on the other end of the line, but the words sounded inferior to my ears. What do you say to someone whose world is crashing in around them? What measure of comfort could you possibly hope to give?

Eventually, the conversation came to an end. A final promise to keep me informed, and then I was sitting alone with a silent phone in my hand. The silence pressed down around me like a heavy fog. Suddenly, a tiny voice reached out to me in the darkness: "momma… come see me."

Instantly, I snapped back into reality – my reality. My daughter was awake. Parental protectiveness kicked in, as I instinctively forced a smile when none should have existed. When I reached her, I focused on keeping my voice light and even. The concern it her eyes was evident, as she asked what was wrong. Carefully, I answered - still smiling, still willing my voice not to betray me. Nothing. Nothing is wrong sweetie, shouldn't you be sleeping? She looked at me accusingly, and very matter-of-factly responded "Yes there is. On the phone – you had tears in your voice."

Without pause, she wrapped her diminutive arms around me, and in the manner that I had comforted her a thousand times before, began cooing words of comfort as she patted my back. After a moment, she pulled away and flashed me a self-satisfied smile. With the unshakable confidence of a child not yet three years old, she triumphantly informed me, "I made you feel better!"

Yes…you most certainly did.

11:35 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Life with a Slice of Wry, part I: The tree still stands
Current mood: jocular
Category: jocular Life

I haven't taken down my Christmas tree yet.

My best friend Jennifer is one of those extraordinarily efficient women you read about in magazines: wife and working mother to one husband, two children, and three dogs. She can bring home the bacon, fry it up, serve it along side eggs Benedict with homemade Hollandaise sauce, clean up the kitchen, and have her entire family out the door 15 minutes ahead of schedule… all in the same time span it takes me to get through my first cup of coffee. Betcha her tree is down.

In my own defense, I can justify the delay with mention of a lingering illness (*insert fake cough here*). I mean, there is a certain amount of rest and relaxation required during the post-recovery phase, right? Gotta get my strength back, ya know.

Ok, ok – I'm all better now. Maybe there's just a hint of a motivational issue here. Taking down the tree isn't comparable to first putting it up. Noticeably lacking is the nostalgic sentiment: Bing Crosby isn't melodically longing for a white Christmas in the background, the house isn't filled with the aroma of mulled apple cider, nor is there the anticipation of seeing the delight in a child's eyes the first time the tree is lit. Taking down the tree is… boring. I'm not good with boring. And it would be soooo much less work to simply cover it with a sheet until next year (it could be unveiled ceremoniously like a fine work of art!)

Social disapproval aside, the main problem with leaving the tree up is simply that it takes up space... a lot of space…in the front room, which is effectively my daughter's playroom. Which means, of course, that there are toys scattered throughout it. That alone wouldn't be an issue, if it were not necessary to cross this room to get to her bedroom, the front door, and my computer. In the absence of a rather large tree jutting into the middle of the room, a path wide enough for walking can be cleared through the mayhem. At present, however, it is akin to walking through an obstacle course… or a minefield.

On a recent journey through, I was rapidly navigating my way around the tree and over a collection of toys left wherever they landed at the moment my daughter lost interest in them. A last minute course correction had me adroitly avoiding stepping on Dora the Explorer's head… only to bring that same foot down atop her pal the miniature hard plastic unicorn. Unicorns are interesting creatures… what with that pointy horn sticking out from their forehead…

I am a reactive person. Thus, I reacted. But having caught the attention of my 2 year old, I could merely stifle a scream of agony as I launched my body upward and sideways, twisting mid-flight, and landing with a resounding thud on a padded portion of my posterior. My child, who demonstrates remarkable compassion for someone of such a young age, laughed delightedly as she implored "Do it again, momma! Do it again!"

The tree must fall.

I was stating such to a friend, who responded with a mixture of surprise and disbelief – I hadn't yet taken down my Christmas tree?? What ever could be the hold up?? Christmas was soooo last year, don'tcha know!

Ah yes… 'tis the New Year. Time to reflect upon the misery of the previous one. At least the only obligation that comes with this holiday is the requisite making of the resolution. I've made mine – and on time, none the less! I've vowed to be a worse person. "Nice" just hasn't been working out for me. But that is the topic for another day…

10:38 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Bridges We Build
Current mood: reflective
Category: reflective Friends

In 1624, the poet John Donne wrote these famous words: "no man is an island, entire of itself." In the broadest sense, he is correct: it would be difficult, although not entirely impossible, to exist in such a self-contained, self-sufficient manner as to lose the need for the service of other people. But figurative language is just that, and a different interpretation of that phrase can render an entirely different conclusion – one where each of us exists unto ourselves emotionally as independent islands, yet whose need for interconnectivity defines us as human beings. It is this inherent need that drives us to form connections with others – we build bridges between our islands.

As the individual architects and builders of these bridges, we must yet still build them in tandem. One bridge builder alone cannot connect his island to another. "It takes two" carries a deep significance, as for the bridge to be structurally sound, it must be joined from each side at a point somewhere in the middle. It is this meeting of minds and hearts that bonds the two spans into one. By the same token, the care and maintenance of the bridge becomes the joint responsibility of each of the builders as well. Should one become lax and negligent, the entire structure is affected, integrity suffers, and the bridge in danger of collapse.

That is not to say that such necessary measures are burdensome. Indeed, an investment of a small amount of care and attention yields returns that increase exponentially. Nor are we limited in the number of bridges we build: some we travel daily; some not often at all. Yet it is this ability to freely share thoughts and feelings, foster both deep and casual emotional attachments, and expand beyond ourselves, that makes this thing called life an experience full of rich rewards.

Each of us an island, yes – but we need not ever live in isolation. Our bridges impart to us the means to become a piece of the larger whole.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I want to wish each and every one of you who are a part of my life – from the most casual of acquaintances to the dearest friends – endless happiness, peace, love, health, and prosperity throughout the coming year. You have all touched me somehow, in some way, and I am forever grateful that you continue to uphold your end of our bridge.  Happy New Year!

Much love from me to you,

                         ~ Leann

10:44 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Grey's Anatomy
Current mood: impressed
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

I rarely watch tv. I'm far too far behind in life to waste precious moments sitting idly in front of a box with pretty lights and sound. And besides... I don't like to watch tv or movies alone - which I am most of the time. (my wonderful, charming daughter DOES count as pleasant company, but she is not allowed to watch anything edgier than Dora the Explorer - so therefore, I really do lack viewing companionship)

Tonight was different. I am sick. Really sick. Curled-up-on-the-couch-in-pjs-wrapped-in-my-blankey sick. Since there was no hope of  managing anything productive tonight, I decided to pop in the Grey's Anatomy season 1 DVD that was loaned to me.

I am (ok, was) a surgical assistant. Shows like ER annoy me, due to the overuse of creative license. So I was fully prepared to be unimpressed.

To sum it up: I'm hooked, lol.

Great - just what I needed... another excuse to ignore my to-do list.

8:47 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

First Date
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Romance and Relationships

The following is a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek recollection of one of dating's most revered moments: the first face-to-face encounter.

Ahhh... the dreaded first date. After weeks of endless emails and insane amounts of time spent with an appliance stuck to the side of my head (can one actually recall the topics of discussion after 6 hours of conversation stretching into the middle of the night??), it is mutually decided that it is TIME. 

First there were the practicalities to attend to: schedule comparisons, choice of event and location, child care arrangements, etc. It's all business-like and matter-of-fact. This is naturally followed by fewer, shorter emails, as the initial "screening" emails became "getting to know you" emails, which finally became "just thinking of you" emails. By the same token, phone calls, although briefer (Thank God!), are more frequent and come throughout the day. A sense of familiarity develops. All is good.

The day before was business once more: confirmations, wardrobe selection (for ease in identification) and a distinct attention to tone, as one subtly attempts to judge the other's level of enthusiasm for the upcoming event.

The day of reckoning arrives! There is last-minute apprehension (What if he doesn't look anything like his pictures? What if during the course of all that "getting-to-know-you" we've gotten to know too much... and exhausted all topics of conversation? What if he doesn't show up?!) Fortunately - he does, we didn't, and to be able to answer the first two questions means that, yes, he did.

The evening flew by, as minutes became hours, and conversation warmed and flowed in a comfortable rhythm. And there was laughter - lots of laughter. We chatted as he walked me back to my car. Parting words were few, but the spontaneous hug summed up the evening nicely.

As did the promise of "until next time..."

5:40 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment