The Final Cut
Current mood: eccentric

[Car sound, switching on of car radio]
"...announced plans to build a nuclear fallout shelter at Peterborough
in Cambridgeshire..."
[phzzt! of returning]
"...three high court judges have cleared the way..."
[phzzt!]
"...It was announced today, that the replacement for the Atlantic
Conveyor the container ship lost in the Falklands conflict would be
built in Japan, a spokesman for..."
[phzzt!]
"...moving in. They say the third world countries, like Bolivia, which
produce the drug are suffering from rising violence...[fades]"

Tell me true, tell me why, was Jesus crucified
Is it for this that Daddy died?
Was it for you? Was it me?
Did I watch too much T.V.?
Is that a hint of accusation in your eyes?
If it wasn't for the nips
Being so good at building ships
The yards would still be open on the clyde.
And it can't be much fun for them
Beneath the rising sun
With all their kids committing suicide.
What have we done, Maggie what have we done?
What have we done to England?
Should we shout, should we scream
"What happened to the post war dream?"

Oh Maggie, Maggie what have we done?

They flutter behind you your possible pasts,
Some bright-eyed and crazy, some frightened and lost.
A warning to anyone still in command
[Cattle truck noises]
"Ranks! Fire!"
Of their possible future, to take care.
In derelict sidings the poppies entwine
With cattle trucks lying in wait for the next time.

Do you remember me? How we used to be?
Do you think we should be closer?

She stood in the doorway, the ghost of a smile
Haunting her face like a cheap hotel sign.
Her cold eyes imploring the men in their macs
For the gold in their bags or the knives in their backs.
Stepping up boldly one put out his hand.
He said, "I was just a child then, now I'm only a man."

Do you remember me? How we used to be?
Do you think we should be closer?

By the cold and religious we were taken in hand
Shown how to feel good and told to feel bad.
Tongue tied and terrified we learned how to pray
Now our feelings run deep and cold as the clay.
And strung out behind us the banners and flags
Of our possible pasts lie in tatters and rags.

Do you remember me? How we used to be?
Do you think we should be closer?
When you're one of the few to land on your feet
What do you do to make ends meet?
Teach.
Make them mad, make them sad, make them add two and two.
Make them me, make them you, make them do what you want them to.
Make them laugh, make them cry, make them lie down and die.
 
Jesus, Jesus, what's it all about?
Trying to clout these little ingrates into shape.
When I was their age all the lights went out.
There was no time to whine or mope about.
And even now part of me flies over
Dresden at angels one five.
Though they'll never fathom it behind my
Sarcasm desperate memories lie.

Sweetheart sweetheart are you fast asleep? Good.
'Cause that's the only time that I can really speak to you.
And there is something that I've locked away
A memory that is too painful
To withstand the light of day.

When we came back from the war the banners and
Flags hung on everyone's door.
We danced and we sang in the street and
The church bells rang.
But burning in my heart
My memory smolders on
Of the gunners dying words on the intercom.

Floating down through the clouds
Memories come rushing up to meet me now.
In the space between the heavens
and in the corner of some foreign field
I had a dream.
I had a dream.
Good-bye Max.
Good-bye Ma.
After the service when you're walking slowly to the car
And the silver in her hair shines in the cold November air
You hear the tolling bell
And touch the silk in your lapel
And as the tear drops rise to meet the comfort of the band
You take her frail hand
And hold on to the dream.
A place to stay
"Oi! A real one ..."
Enough to eat
Somewhere old heroes shuffle safely down the street
Where you can speak out loud
About your doubts and fears
And what's more no-one ever disappears
You never hear their standard issue kicking in your door.
You can relax on both sides of the tracks
And maniacs don't blow holes in bandsmen by remote control
And everyone has recourse to the law
And no-one kills the children anymore.
And no one kills the children anymore.

Night after night
Going round and round my brain
His dream is driving me insane.
In the corner of some foreign field
The gunner sleeps tonight.
What's done is done.
We cannot just write off his final scene.
Take heed of his dream.
Take heed.

Button your lip. Don't let the shield slip.
Take a fresh grip on your bullet proof mask.
And if they try to break down your disguise with their questions
You can hide, hide, hide,
"I'll tell you what, I'll give you three blacks, and play you for five
..."
"Ta! You was unlucky there son"
"Time gentleman!"
Behind paranoid eyes.

You put on our brave face and slip over the road for a jar.
Fixing your grin as you casually lean on the bar,
Laughing too loud at the rest of the world
With the boys in the crowd
You hide, hide, hide,
Behind petrified eyes.

You believed in their stories of fame, fortune and glory.
Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age
The pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high.
And you hide, hide, hide,
Behind brown and mild eyes.

"Oi...Get your filthy hands off my desert!"
"What 'e say?"

[Mortar shell screams across the sky and explodes]

Brezhnev took Afghanistan.
Begin took Beirut.
Galtieri took the Union Jack.
And Maggie, over lunch one day,
Took a cruiser with all hands.
Apparently, to make him give it back.

Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own.
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

And they can appear to themselves every day
..d circuit T.V.
To make sure they're still real.
It's the only connection they feel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
"Hello Maggie!"
Mr. Brezhnev and party.
"Scusi dov'è il bar?"
The ghost of McCarthy,
The memories of Nixon.
"Who's the bald chap?"
"Good-bye!"
And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-
American meat packing glitterati.

Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
They can polish their medals and sharpen their
Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead.

Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
With their favorite toys
They'll be good girls and boys
In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
Wasters of life and limb.

Is everyone in?
Are you having a nice time?
Now the final solution can be applied.

They disembarked in 45
And no-one spoke and no-one smiled
There were to many spaces in the line.
Gathered at the cenotaph
All agreed with the hand on heart
To sheath the sacrificial Knifes.
But now
She stands upon Southampton dock
With her handkerchief
And her summer frock clings
To her wet body in the rain.
In quiet desperation knuckles
White upon the slippery reins
She bravely waves the boys Goodbye again.

And still the dark stain spreads between
His shoulder blades.
A mute reminder of the poppy fields and graves.
And when the fight was over
We spent what they had made.
But in the bottom of our hearts
We felt the final cut.

Through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes
I can barely define the shape of this moment in time
And far from flying high in clear blue skies
I'm spiraling down to the hole in the ground where I hide.

If you negotiate the minefield in the drive
And beat the dogs and cheat the cold electronic eyes
And if you make it past the shotgun in the hall,
Dial the combination, open the priesthole
And if I'm in I'll tell you what's behind the wall.

There's a kid who had a big hallucination
Making love to girls in magazines.
He wonders if you're sleeping with your new found faith.
Could anybody love him
Or is it just a crazy dream?

And if I show you my dark side
Will you still hold me tonight?
And if I open my heart to you
And show you my weak side
What would you do?
Would you sell your story to Rolling Stone?
Would you take the children away
And leave me alone?
And smile in reassurance
As you whisper down the phone?
Would you send me packing?
Or would you take me home?

Thought I oughta bare my naked feelings,
Thought I oughta tear the curtain down.
I held the blade in trembling hands
Prepared to make it but just then the phone rang
I never had the nerve to make the final cut.

"Hello? Listen, I think I've got it. Okay, listen its a HaHa!"
 
Fuck all that we've got to get on with these
Gotta compete with the wily Japanese.
There's too many home fires burning
And not enough trees.
So fuck all that
We've go to get on with these.

Can't stop
Lose job
Mind gone
Silicon
What bomb
Get away
Pay day
Make hay
Break down
Need fix
Big six
Clickity click
Hold on
Oh no
Brrrrrrrrrring bingo!

Make 'em laugh.
Make 'em cry.
Make 'em dance in the aisles.
Make 'em pay.
Make 'em stay.
Make'em feel ok.

Not nah John
We've got to get on with the film show.
Hollywood waits at the end of the rainbow.
Who cares what it's about
As long as the kids go?
Not now John
Got to get on with the show.

Hang on John we've got to get on with this.
I don't know what it is
But it fits on here like.....
Come at the end of the shift
We'll go and get pissed.
But now now John
I've got to get on with this.

Hold on John
I think there's something good on.
I used to read books but.....
It could be the news
Or some other abuse
Or it could be reusable shows.

Fuck all that we've got to get on with these
Got to compete with the wily Japanese.
No need to worry about the Vietnamese.
Got to bring the Russian Bear to his knees.
Well, maybe not the Russian Bear
Maybe the Swedes.
We showed Argentina
Now let's go and show these.
Make us feel tough
And wouldn't Maggie be pleased?
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah!

"s'cusi dove il bar
(What?)
se para collo pou eine toe bar
s'il vous plait ou est le bar
(...say it in English!...)
oi, where's the fucking bar John?
(Oh, now you're talking!)"
Oh! Rule Britannia! Britannia rules the day
Down!
Go, Maggie!
Hammer, Hammer, Hammer, Hammer, now!

In my rear view mirror the sun is going down
Sinking behind bridges in the road
And I think of all the good things
That we have left undone
And I suffer premonitions
Confirm suspicions
Of the holocaust to come.

The wire that holds the cork
That keeps the anger in
Gives way
And suddenly it's day again.
The sun is in the east
Even though the day is done.
Two suns in the sunset
Hmmmmmmmmmm
Could be the human race is run.

Like the moment when the brakes lock
And you slide towards the big truck
"Oh no!"
"[scream] Daddy, Daddy!"
You stretch the frozen moments with your fear.
And you'll never hear their voices
And you'll never see their faces
You have no recourse to the law anymore.

And as the windshield melts
My tears evaporate
Leaving only charcoal to defend.
Finally I understand the feelings of the few.
Ashes and diamonds
Foe and friend
We were all equal in the end.

"...and now the weather. Tomorrow will be cloudy with scattered showers
spreading from the east ... with an expected high of 4000 degrees
Celsius"
 

5:14 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Friendship Lost

I admired you and loved you too
An inspired mind with waisted time
Thoughtless hope all dreampt on smoke
And now I've left you far behind

I hope you know I miss you
I hope you know just where you are
In my broken heart I'll see you shining
And wish upon you from afar

It seemed a storm to me
So much force for me to see
This little branch from a bigger tree
So much more than I could be

She bloomed so bright with so much light
So we all could be left blind

And instantly transformed from the might of her storm
Testing our wills as the same time

I will miss you my dear
If this was only something you could hear

I will miss you my dear
If this was only something you could hear

9:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Company
Current mood: electric
Category: Music

Check out this video: Company

..

Add to My Profile | More Videos

6:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Mouthful of Cavities
Current mood: cultured

Mouthful of cavities
Your soul's a bowl of jokes
And everyday you remind me
How I'm desperately in need

See, I got a lot of fiends around
And they're peaking through nothing new
They see you
They see everything you do

See everything on the inside, out

Oh, please give me a little more
And I'll push away those baby blues
Cause one of these days this will die
So will me and so will you

I write a letter to a friend of mine
I tell him how much I used to love watch him smile

See I haven't seen him smile in a little while

Haven't seen him smile in a little while

But, I know you're laughing from the inside out
Laughin' from the inside out
I know you're laughing from the inside out
Laughing from the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside out

7:33 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Hilary Clinton
Current mood: ditzy

I really hate the sound of her voice. When she gets excited, she sounds like duck getting an enema. 

2:09 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

In Retrospect
Current mood: blah

I guess I can't really complain too much about last night. I did have a pretty excellent time- up until the end when I realized that I had once again set myself up for utter failer. Biting the Apple was great- Sidecar was peachy and the after party was one of the better ones I've been to. Sorry to be spouting all my negative vibes in the last couple blogs, but hey- you have to vent that shit some how. 

2:50 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Blah!
Current mood: apathetic

Blah, blah blah blah! I'm so glad I waisted my fucking time tonight! But rest assured, I'll send her over to watch you and some other guy make out with her. That sound like a great fucking plan!

3:27 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You Know What...
Current mood: angry

Yes, I am a pretty fucking drunk right now, however, this doesen't change my overall message. Let me just tell you, that while I've met several cool people within my life here in this state, I know to my core who I am and what I have become. So with no remorse do I say this, FUCK YOU! Clever has indeed got me this far and seeing as I'm superior both mentally and physically to most of you, I really don't need another fucking friend. Do you really think I bend over backwards to make any of you feel better about yourselves? Really? If so, then you really are much dumber than I could have expected. Believe it or not, I don't keep you around to feel better about myself, which seems to be the case with what most of you do. Keep your friendship, keep you ideals and keep your good times to your fucking selves. I'm much more comfortable living in my own reality and living up to my own expectations that I don't need to try to feed into your standards and hope you might throw me a fucking bone someday. You make me fucking sick!! And after what you did, you want me to try and maintain some connection? Suck me off! You want ME to call? Fuck you!! Call me and maybe, just maybe I'll consider calling you. You know, if I'm really bored and have nothing better to do with my time, like oh... jerking off or snorting heroine. Kiss my fucking ass! Ah, yes, just another one to let me down in a long line of those you couldn't pass the test. Jesus, I wonder if anyone really could. PEACE!

3:12 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Ah, the Rollercoaster.
Current mood: thoughtful

Up, down, left, right- from one day to the next, I’m never really sure of where my life is going to take me. When things are this way, I find it difficult to sometimes put my existence in perspective and I often loose track of who I really am.

I recently had an opportunity to sit down with myself and reflect on the events that have led up to where I am in life now. You have to be careful when you do this sort of thing, because you might find yourself dwelling on the negative aspects that have made up who you are. All the mistakes you’ve made, all the regrets you have. Being as old as I am, I’ve found that those have grown in number since the last tally I made. Oh, what’s a man to do?

Then it hit me. In spite of my mistakes and shortcomings, these things make up who I am, as an individual. It is the evolution of my personality that determines whether or not they are detrimental to my growth as a person. That does not change the regrets I feel when I think of all those I’ve disappointed or hurt in my life, however. No, that is a looming cloud that must follow me to my grave- lest I relive it.

I really would love nothing more than to see every one of these souls, face to face, and express my deepest apologizes for my actions. Unfortunately, I know this will never happen. They are going to hold their negative opinion of me for the rest of their days. This truth has been the source of severe depression on my part over the last couple of years and I admit a certain problem when dealing with this.

That is where my revelation, as of late, came to be. Since I can never atone for my past to those who need to hear it, I conjured up the idea that I should apologize in the most public forum available to me. This blog seemed like the perfect avenue. At least this way, everyone who does read this will know that in the very depths of my heart, I am sorry. To everyone, I am sorry.

4:50 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Obvious Child
Current mood: accomplished

I’m accustomed to a smooth ride
Or maybe I’m a dog who’s lost its bite
I don’t expect to be treated like a fool no more
I don’t expect to sleep through the night
Some people say a lie’s a lie’s a lie
But I say why
Why deny the obvious child?
Why deny the obvious child?

And in remembering a road sign
I am remembering a girl when I was young
And we said These songs are true
These days are ours
These tears are free
And hey
The cross is in the ballpark
The cross is in the ballpark

We had a lot of fun
We had a lot of money
We had a little son and we thought we’d call him Sonny
Sonny gets married and moves away
Sonny has a baby and bills to pay
Sonny gets sunnier
Day by day by day by day

I’ve been waking up at sunrise
I’ve been following the light across my room
I watch the night receive the room of my day
Some people say the sky is just the sky
But I say
Why deny the obvious child?
Why deny the obvious child?

Sonny sits by his window and thinks to himself
How it’s strange that some rooms are like cages
Sonny’s yearbook from high school
Is down from the shelf
And he idly thumbs through the pages
Some have died
Some have fled from themselves
Or struggled from here to get there
Sonny wanders beyond his interior walls
Runs his hand through his thinning brown hair

Well I’m accustomed to a smoother ride
Maybe I’m a dog that’s lost his bite
I don’t expect to be treated like a fool no more
I don’t expect to sleep the night
Some people say a lie is just a lie
But I say the cross is in the ballpark
Why deny the obvious child?

2:49 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment