New Year Resolution
Current mood: blah

Every day in every way, I must get more extreme.

Currently listening : Constantines By Constantines Release date: 10 August, 2004

12:02 AM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The Aghoris are right
Current mood: crappy
Category: Religion and Philosophy

The world is perfect.

www.sugardaddie.com

"Where the classy, attractive and affluent can meet."

Currently listening : Gimme Fiction By Spoon Release date: 10 May, 2005

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Life Report and Important Updates 2006
Current mood: chocolaty

Assuming nothing interesting happens over the next three weeks, here's my year.
After a year in Nanaimo I made the decision to leave. Off to Whistler..or not. The winter finished and spring bloomed before I blasted off anywhere. For no real reason at all I started looking for a pad in Victoria and found one after much detective work.
I moved to lovely Victoria with my lovely girlfriend Nicole in May. Partying and laughing were in season this summer. The insano rock and roll lifestyle hit an orgasmic high water mark before the moon sucked it back out to see in October. Left on the beach with all the other bi-valves and empty cans of Lucky was a Sammy with no girlfriend, a black cat and two guitars to learn to play.
What will 2007 bring? Stay tuned for a cooking show pilot, no haircuts and Damon Wayans hitting a bullet with a football while riding a horse.


 

Currently listening : She Hangs Brightly By Mazzy Star Release date: 12 November, 1991

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blood on my turtleneck
Current mood: satisfied
Category: fuzzled Goals, Plans, Hopes

I silently turned the door knob and slipped into her chamber. She pretented to be asleep but I could smell her fear like a boiling pot of turnips. The sharp sound of my blade unsheathing caused her to jump to her feet. I stepped towards her and tightened my grip. By reflex she grabbed the mace and hit me with it before I could rouse a hand to block my  face. Burning...My constitution did not falter and I stabbed for heart and my aim rang true. Blood sprayed my chest like a super soaker CPS 2000 blast as my blade dislodged from her breat bone. Just then as her death fueled my transformation my Grandpa said he had to take a wicked dump and trotted off to the shitter. Sometimes he's such a laim dungeonmaster.
Anywho, I've finally reached level 34 and I'm so jazzed that I'm making a gobstopper lasagne to celebrate. TCB with my D&D,  TGIF and RSVP if you wanna PLI1999.
chlater.

Currently reading : Dragon Magic (Dungeons & Dragons) By Owen K.C. Stephens Release date: 12 September, 2006

11:50 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

no more smoking
Current mood: bouncy

I have once again started smoking.

Currently listening : Wolf Tracks: The Best of Los Lobos By Los Lobos Release date: 14 February, 2006

3:21 PM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Victoria is for hijinx
Current mood: cynical

I've not been allowed to enjoy the splendours of the internettles because of ... you know.
Irregardless, the brass tax is I sat on a brass tack and that wasn't as interesting as it should have been. Ever had an infected butt cheek? No? Me neither.
I moved to Victoria and the scenesters don't get my jokes.
I have this awesome jacket that looks like something Will Smith would have worn in 1991. Very exciting and colourfull with shoulder pads. I call it vomiflage.
So my lady's friend was having a party and I thought 'what better way to make a first impression than with my great and unique jacket?'
My brain didn't have an answer and me lady didn't either so the jacket and I put each other on.
Nobody had the Mcgillicuties to say anything about it untill my lady brought it up. Then everyone had a laugh when I pretended to have spent 200 dollars on it and said the Fresh Prince lent it to me and said a bunch of other weird shit. Laughstavaganza.
Then the party hosts boyfriend and some of his buddy's pull into the driveway.
So the joke is : Nobody mention the jacket and see if it gets funny.
Buddy, (boyfriend) comes in and says hello and gives my jacket a look like he's gonna be sick but says nothing. He and his buds are very into the rockabily scene. They are also wearing clothes that most would find ridiculous with large quiff haircuts and such.
They whisper to each other and giggle like a bunch of homosexuals at a strip club while I go on about what a great deal I got on the jacket ($190) and how it really brings out my eyes.
So they never get the joke, not even when I make Buddy try on the jacket and say I came over to see if they wanted to go for cosmopolitans with me sometime.
I was very dissapointed. They didn't even laugh when I showed them how it was reversible and the other side was all black, but what kind of fag would wear a black jacket?
Scenesters rarely get my jokes.
 

love,

smammy

Currently listening : Music For Tu Madre By J-Zone

11:38 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

dslf;iaurl w;jejdbfv

sometimes it's difficult to deal with the situations that arise. I find the best outlet to be alcohol and throwing knives. If you have any other suggestions please suck a curb while I kick the back of your head.

Currently listening : Jet Generation By Guitar Wolf Release date: 22 June, 1999

3:06 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

One to hold on to
Current mood: rejuvenated

You know when you really have to take a squirt and you've had a few pints so you really have to go? And then you get distracted and this bird is trying to yak your ear off and then you finally make it to the can and it's like a whirlwind is trying to suck down a rocketship? ya know?    .      .        .    With Buffalo Wings?

Currently listening : Kick Out the Jams By MC5 Release date: 26 November, 1991

12:34 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Gluffburg

mental  head red boot shelves This is zesty kutch greshlings and besised it’s fishy smelling and taxing. The swirly crunch of a great jesus is something to melt chocolate over. And the artistry of the breast milk is outclassing my Ferrari sneakers. Come classic and leave hungry. Bigger and shakier than any of those other tacos and a sandwich hunter. Gimme a break that’s baby stuff and you should know Beatrice.

Currently listening : Shake Your Piggy Bank By Wesley Willis Release date: 16 January, 2001

10:44 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Olde Jokes, New Cockring
Current mood: weird

Do you a favor? Sure. For you, anything…except analingus. That’s disgusting! And frankly, I’m shocked and appalled that you would even suggest it.

I’m the best interneter around…the planet.

What? That’s the most audacious shit I’ve smelled since Ted Diabiase had his own belt constructed.

So, internet dating. The only problem bigger than the rising STD figures is godforsaken typos. My first and worst fumble was with this dirty little bird with a therapist fantasy. We arranged a meeting and it was intense. She was right into character, what a show! But here's the rub.You see, old friend, while she was expecting a therapist role-play, what she got was the rapist role-play. Whoops, a simple misunderstanding. I miss the life of a citizen and I’m really starting to understand how hard the the penile system can be. Whoops, another typo. Here we go again!

Currently listening : Here Are the Sonics By The Sonics Release date: 01 June, 1999

10:40 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment