a good day to listen
Current mood: amused

While walking to my car yesterday I overheard a middle aged woman trying to convince her friend to switch to her salon because, and I quote

"For only $22 I get a cut AND a blow job."

Which appeared to delight her friend who "Usually pays more than twice that."

After getting into my car and nearly laughing out a lung, I went to the gym where my intrepid (and it should be noted, of foreign origin) trainer proceeded to tell me that he thinks this whole problem with Fannie and Bernie is ridiculous.

"Fannie and Bernie?"

"Yes, the loan people."

"You mean Fannie and Freddie Mac?"

"No, no, Fannie and Bernie Mac."

"Gabe, Fannie and Freddie Mac are the loan people.  Bernie Mac was a brilliant comedian who recently passed away."

"You knew what I meant."

Which I did, but still.

The Ghost of Bernie seems to be haunting me, as a few days ago I was having dinner with a friend and George Lopez came on the television. 

"He's dead, you know."  Said my dining companion seriously.

"George Lopez?"

"Yep.  He just died."

"Oh my god, when?"  Having heard nothing about it.

"Like two weeks ago, he died from some disease he had."

I paused.  "Do you mean Bernie Mac, who died from complications from pneumonia and not from the sarcoidosis he had for years?"

He paused.  "Yep. Thats probably what I meant. I'm no good with pop culture."

"Clearly."

I bet it is the first and last time someone mistakes George Lopez for Bernie Mac.

On a personal note, I met Bernie once, through a mutual friend, and he was one of the most gracious, intelligent, kind, hilarious people I have ever had the pleasure to share a couple hours with, and the world is a much less warm and funny place without him.

On the upside, heaven has a new headliner.

Currently reading : Queen of the Road: The True Tale of 47 States, 22,000 Miles, 200 Shoes, 2 Cats, 1 Poodle, a Husband, and a Bus with a Will of Its Own By Doreen Orion Release date: 2008-06-03

4:32 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

new Chicago events and a review
Category: Food and Restaurants

Check out my review of Zed 451 at www.oychicago.com in the NOSH department.

Also, if you are in Chicago and like the combination of books and wine, and really, who doesn't?, please come join me for the following events:

The Book Cellar

www.bookcellarinc.com

4736 N. Lincoln Ave.

2nd Annual SPELLING BEE

The Book Cellar hosts its
2ND ANNUAL SPELLING BEE!

A lively event with celebrity judges Bridget Piekarz, Sam Weller and Elizabeth Taylor and our special celebrity host, Stacey Ballis, The Book Cellar's 2nd Annual Spelling Bee is sure to entertain--whether you're a speller or spectator!

Please stop in and sign up at The Book Cellar!
..
Start time: Friday, September 12, 2008 At 07:00 PM

(note, no comments from the peanut gallery about my being referred to as a celebrity!)

Witty Women Writers

..
Book Cellar celebrates this group of Witty Women Writers tonight!

Come enjoy dinner and wine and a great group of ladies as they share their stories!

The Lineup:
Amy Guth
Stacey Ballis


Keep checking back--more witty women to come!
..
Start time: Friday, October 10, 2008 At 07:00 PM

(note, no comments from the peanut gallery about my being referred to as witty!)

5:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

apropos of nothing
Current mood: tired

Overheard on the street this morning, spoken by a 20-something hipster gent on the phone:

"It was okay, dude, but it wasn't exactly like the best movie since The English Patient."

Pause.

"No, man, I never saw The English Patient either."

I thought it very nice of me to wait until i got into my car to laugh myself half into a coma.

Currently watching : Waitress (Widescreen Edition) Release date: 2007-11-27

3:33 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

yummy

Custom House

Four Stars

For anyone who loves Chicago history, one of the most exciting periods occurred in 1871 after the Great Chicago Fire, when the Custom House Levee District flourished. Filled with saloons, brothels and gaming houses, and home to the genesis of the classic pay-for-votes politics, the Levee District was an oasis of sin and sensual pleasures. The higher class bordellos were as famous for the quality of their food and wine as they were for the charms of their girls, and the area we now know as Printer's Row spent a glorious thirty-five years reigning as the place to experience carnal delights of every sort.

As the epicenter of the American meat industry, Chicago's stockyards made us Sandburg's 'hog butcher to the world.' Eras like the heyday of the Levee District gave Chicago a reputation as a city of outlaws, wild characters and excitement. And events like the Century of Progress Columbian Exposition and World's Fair marked Chicago as a place of innovation, artistry and progress.

So it should be no surprise that Chef/Owner Shawn McClain, winner of the James Beard Best Chef –Midwest Award and a chef who had nothing to prove to this city after the success of his hotspots Spring and Green Zebra, has managed to meld three of Chicago's most famous attributes in Custom House. McClain has taken the concept of a traditional steak house, and with a combination of classic technical skill and broad artistic vision, has transformed it into a place that both honors its origins and explodes preconceptions…and done it in the heart of what used to be the infamous Levee District.

The open dining room at Custom House, with its tall ceilings and wide windows, erases the idea of the dark paneled rooms one usually expects when one thinks of a steak house. A wall of stone, softened by light fabric on the chairs, and simple elegant lighting is warm and welcoming. Starters are an embarrassment of riches, and deciding between them is a Herculean task. After consulting with our server, we choose the Quail, Smoked Rainbow Trout, and the special of the evening, a Goat Leg Tart.

Some delicious Custom House starters

The quail, simply roasted and served with a caramel balsamic reduction and a cippoline onion beignet, is perfect. The skin crisp and well seasoned, the meat cooked medium, highlighting the mellow gaminess of the tiny bird, a hint of sweet savoriness from the light drizzle of sauce. And the 'onion beignet' is quite simply the best onion ring either of us has ever tasted. Frankly, I'd like a basket of them and some barbeque sauce to dip them in. (Which is something I'd never actually request, but a girl can dream.) 

The tart, a layer of pastry topped with caramelized onion, braised goat leg and baby leeks, is well executed, the meat deeply flavored, the onions sweet. We both wished the pastry was crisper to balance the softness of the toppings, but ultimately it was still a successful dish flavor-wise. But both of these were eclipsed by the Smoked Trout, a light salad with slivers of radish and celery-bacon vinaigrette, served on a cauliflower panna cotta. It is a dish neither of us would have ordered, but for the recommendation of our server, and it was by far the favorite. Served with buttery brioche toast sticks, it is the kind of dish that makes you smile with its inventiveness. The creamy cauliflower panna cotta, much more subtle than we had anticipated, is the ideal foil for the trout, smoked in-house, tender and flavorful. We have the 2006 Tavel Rose; the crisp clean wine with hints of strawberry is great with all three dishes.

For entrees, being a steak house, some beef was in order, and the Australian raised New York Strip with bone marrow maitre'd butter and roasted cippoline onions did not disappoint. The steak, aged 80 days, rivals any you will find at more traditional places, with the rich bone marrow butter putting it right over the top. We were leaning toward the halibut, but our clearly psychic server insisted on the sturgeon, and once again her advice was impeccable. The fish, served in a light morel mushroom broth, was tender and mild, a fish neither of us had tasted before and would definitely order again. Sides are designed to share, but making up your mind will be tough!  We tasted a decadent oxtail risotto, which, when paired with the sturgeon became an inspired surf and turf. Creamed spinach, which actually tasted of spinach and not just cream, was enriched with parmesan bread crumbs and tiny cubes of fried celery root. Asparagus became a meal in itself, wrapped in prosciutto and anointed with black truffle.

But the hands-down favorite, again a recommendation from our server-cum-guru, was the Pommes Anna, thinly sliced potatoes layered with ricotta and house-smoked bacon. My giddy companion referred to it as potatoes au gratin on crack. And yes, you will crave more the minute the plate is empty. And my mother would disown me if I didn't tell you to order the Bulghur Wheat, which is her favorite thing on the menu! With this feast, the 2005 D & S Proprietary Red, a gloriously chewy California wine with tones of blackcurrant and chocolate, smoothed the edges.

Desserts were a rich warm toffee date cake, a tasting of three ice creams (white coffee, balsamic caramel, and triple chocolate) and a mini lemon Bundt cake. All delicious, with the exception of the balsamic caramel ice cream, which, though we were looking forward to it, had a strange and unwelcome aftertaste.

Don't forget the dessert! 

Custom House is the sort of place you can return to again and again, the menu changes daily. And without question, let the exceedingly knowledgeable waitstaff influence your dining and drinking decisions, they will introduce you to some amazing new flavors.

http://www.oychicago.com/article.aspx?id=896

5:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

yummy

Custom House

Four Stars

For anyone who loves Chicago history, one of the most exciting periods occurred in 1871 after the Great Chicago Fire, when the Custom House Levee District flourished. Filled with saloons, brothels and gaming houses, and home to the genesis of the classic pay-for-votes politics, the Levee District was an oasis of sin and sensual pleasures. The higher class bordellos were as famous for the quality of their food and wine as they were for the charms of their girls, and the area we now know as Printer's Row spent a glorious thirty-five years reigning as the place to experience carnal delights of every sort.

As the epicenter of the American meat industry, Chicago's stockyards made us Sandburg's 'hog butcher to the world.' Eras like the heyday of the Levee District gave Chicago a reputation as a city of outlaws, wild characters and excitement. And events like the Century of Progress Columbian Exposition and World's Fair marked Chicago as a place of innovation, artistry and progress.

So it should be no surprise that Chef/Owner Shawn McClain, winner of the James Beard Best Chef –Midwest Award and a chef who had nothing to prove to this city after the success of his hotspots Spring and Green Zebra, has managed to meld three of Chicago's most famous attributes in Custom House. McClain has taken the concept of a traditional steak house, and with a combination of classic technical skill and broad artistic vision, has transformed it into a place that both honors its origins and explodes preconceptions…and done it in the heart of what used to be the infamous Levee District.

The open dining room at Custom House, with its tall ceilings and wide windows, erases the idea of the dark paneled rooms one usually expects when one thinks of a steak house. A wall of stone, softened by light fabric on the chairs, and simple elegant lighting is warm and welcoming. Starters are an embarrassment of riches, and deciding between them is a Herculean task. After consulting with our server, we choose the Quail, Smoked Rainbow Trout, and the special of the evening, a Goat Leg Tart.

Some delicious Custom House starters

The quail, simply roasted and served with a caramel balsamic reduction and a cippoline onion beignet, is perfect. The skin crisp and well seasoned, the meat cooked medium, highlighting the mellow gaminess of the tiny bird, a hint of sweet savoriness from the light drizzle of sauce. And the 'onion beignet' is quite simply the best onion ring either of us has ever tasted. Frankly, I'd like a basket of them and some barbeque sauce to dip them in. (Which is something I'd never actually request, but a girl can dream.) 

The tart, a layer of pastry topped with caramelized onion, braised goat leg and baby leeks, is well executed, the meat deeply flavored, the onions sweet. We both wished the pastry was crisper to balance the softness of the toppings, but ultimately it was still a successful dish flavor-wise. But both of these were eclipsed by the Smoked Trout, a light salad with slivers of radish and celery-bacon vinaigrette, served on a cauliflower panna cotta. It is a dish neither of us would have ordered, but for the recommendation of our server, and it was by far the favorite. Served with buttery brioche toast sticks, it is the kind of dish that makes you smile with its inventiveness. The creamy cauliflower panna cotta, much more subtle than we had anticipated, is the ideal foil for the trout, smoked in-house, tender and flavorful. We have the 2006 Tavel Rose; the crisp clean wine with hints of strawberry is great with all three dishes.

For entrees, being a steak house, some beef was in order, and the Australian raised New York Strip with bone marrow maitre'd butter and roasted cippoline onions did not disappoint. The steak, aged 80 days, rivals any you will find at more traditional places, with the rich bone marrow butter putting it right over the top. We were leaning toward the halibut, but our clearly psychic server insisted on the sturgeon, and once again her advice was impeccable. The fish, served in a light morel mushroom broth, was tender and mild, a fish neither of us had tasted before and would definitely order again. Sides are designed to share, but making up your mind will be tough!  We tasted a decadent oxtail risotto, which, when paired with the sturgeon became an inspired surf and turf. Creamed spinach, which actually tasted of spinach and not just cream, was enriched with parmesan bread crumbs and tiny cubes of fried celery root. Asparagus became a meal in itself, wrapped in prosciutto and anointed with black truffle.

But the hands-down favorite, again a recommendation from our server-cum-guru, was the Pommes Anna, thinly sliced potatoes layered with ricotta and house-smoked bacon. My giddy companion referred to it as potatoes au gratin on crack. And yes, you will crave more the minute the plate is empty. And my mother would disown me if I didn't tell you to order the Bulghur Wheat, which is her favorite thing on the menu! With this feast, the 2005 D & S Proprietary Red, a gloriously chewy California wine with tones of blackcurrant and chocolate, smoothed the edges.

Desserts were a rich warm toffee date cake, a tasting of three ice creams (white coffee, balsamic caramel, and triple chocolate) and a mini lemon Bundt cake. All delicious, with the exception of the balsamic caramel ice cream, which, though we were looking forward to it, had a strange and unwelcome aftertaste.

Don't forget the dessert! 

Custom House is the sort of place you can return to again and again, the menu changes daily. And without question, let the exceedingly knowledgeable waitstaff influence your dining and drinking decisions, they will introduce you to some amazing new flavors.

http://www.oychicago.com/article.aspx?id=896

5:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A new adventure!
Current mood: breezy

Hello all!

Just wanted to let you know about a new endeavor for me….as a contributor to a fantastic new online magazine called Oy!Chicago.  Oy is targeted at the Jewish community of greater Chicagoland, but my column, Nosh, is all about food.  Food features including essays, profiles of foodies, chef interviews and restaurant reviews.  So, even though many of you are not in Chicago, (and many aren't Jewish J ) I hope you enjoy hearing from me on a more regular basis!

Pieces will be cross posted here and on Foodbuzz.com.

Meantime, I am hard at work on my latest novel, GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT, which will be out next Spring, and some other projects I will be delighted to share in the coming months.

To read my first contribution, head on over to www.oychicago.com and check me out!

Hope this finds everyone happy and healthy and enjoying your summer thus far. 

Best,

Stacey

Currently reading : Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass LookBig, Or Why Pie is Not The Answer By Jen Lancaster

3:20 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

accidental subliminal advertising
Current mood: warm, but hungry

I live in a building that is over 100 years old.  I love it.  I'm never leaving.  They will take my cold, dead body out of this building. Hopefully not for many years, tho.  I have been here 15 years, and never fallen out of love with it. 

While a victorian graystone is good for many things, staying warm in the winter is not one of them.  Dinner parties, no problem, the formal dining room can seat up to 24 comfortably.  Houseguests?  Piece of cake, seperate guest room.  Storing stuff for friends who move out of town?  Easy, the basement is nothing but accomodating.  But warm in the winter?  Not so much.

The ceilings are tall, the heat is provided by the original radiators, the windows are old and drafty. And the over foot-thick stone walls, if subjected to three weeks of Chicago sub-zero temps, freeze solid, and then you could hang meat in my living room.  I don't mean, 'oh I have to wear a sweater'.  I mean, 'I have to wear a sweater over my fleece over my thermals under a blanket and still my hands, feet, and nose don't ever really warm up'.  Just in the living room, the bedroom is fine since it is pretty small, but the living room is cavernous and the radiators just can't ever seem to get it done.

Which was never a big deal, really, since who minds bundling up for a couple hours in the evening before bed?  Except now I work at home.  In my living room.  And it has been a looooooog cold winter. 

So last week, in a fit of semi-productivity, I finally said 'f**k it' and went to home depot to purchase a space heater.  You might ask, why, oh Mensa-IQ'ed one, would you wait 15 years to fix this issue?  And I will tell you, just because I'm smart, doesn't mean I'm not an idiot.  I never have bought them at the beginning of the season, because the beginning of the season is usually right before the annual family vacation to someplace warm, so I'm not really thinking about it.  And then when I get back I seem to forget that winter lasts thru April, so I figure I'll just tough it out.  Then the end of February comes around and I wonder what the hell I was thinking not buying them.

When I get to Home Depot, I discover that everyone else in Chicago already bought their space heaters, so there is only one brand/style left.  Not the 'this will make your whole room balmy in minutes' style.  The 'if you sit with this aimed directly at you and do not move, it will keep you from hypothermia' kind.  About three feet tall, sort of a oval tube, with a squiggly electric element down the middle in front of a reflective surface, with a grill over it.  They oscillate.  They have two settings, high and low, and they have all the appropriate safety features.  So I bought two.  One for each end of the couch, hoping to create a little cocoon of warmth for myself. 

I get them home, set them up, and turn them on.  Ahhhhhhhhhh.

I get down to work, finish a chapter in the new book, and feel very proud of myself.  So proud, that I start to crave....gyros.  Gyros?

Now, there is an amazing restaurant I have been going to my whole life called The Athenian Room.  And they do have the best gyros I have ever tasted, but I almost never get the gyros, because when I crave AR, I crave their succulent skirt steak above all else.  The gyros are good, just not my first choice.

But last week, the craving was beyond powerful.  It was insidious.  I was trying to work.  (psssst.  gyros.)  I was trying to watch Law and Order (mmmm.  Jesse Martin likes gyros).  I was trying to stay on my diet, and eat heathy.  (if you don't eat anything else all day you can still have gyros.)  What the F**K was going on?

So I thought about Carey, my nutritional counselor, who has been encouraging me to examine cravings of this type.  What mood am I in?  What might be the emotional or psychological reasons behind the craving?  So I examine.  I am not physically hungry, so this is not a physiological craving for nourishment.  What might my head or heart be wanting?  Well, I could probably use a little sex, but I've always wanted mashed potatoes or french silk pie as nookie-replacement.  And while I was a little bored, my boredom eating is almost always homemade popcorn.  I'm not feeling self-loathing, cause if I was, I'd be craving pizza for sure.  (see how self aware I am becoming?  go Carey!  www.elevate-life.com)

I am thinking and pondering and then I look up.  And realize that I bought two space heaters that look EXACTLY like the vertical rotisserie heating elements they cook gyros on.  You would think most people basking in the warmth of direct heat would think of the beach, maybe crave a pina colada.  Nope. Not me.  Me, I go directly to large spits of seasoned meat spinning in a circle.  Subliminal, and really irritating, but also so ridiculous I had to call Carey and tell her how retarded I am.

Sometimes, this whole eating disorder thing is actually pretty freaking funny. 

In the meantime, I hope spring comes soon, because I might be warm enough, but I'm still thinking about a soft pita piled high with glistening strips of spicy meat, and dunked in cool tzatziki sauce.  Sigh.

Currently watching : Without a Trace - The Complete First Season Release date: 14 September, 2004

8:32 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Love Boat My Ass
Current mood: blissful
Category: Blogging

Well children, I am back stateside.  The annual family vacation was awesome, in terms of the family part.  We laughed and had a great time together, and my sister's new boyfriend survived our antics and appeared not to be distressed by the combined force of our lunacy, despite the fact that my grandmother twice called him by the name of my sister's ex, and once called him Victor.  His name is Doug. 

However, let me say for the record, I have no intention of ever sailing with this particular cruise line EVER AGAIN.  I would not be so crude as to name them by name, but let me just say that while Captain Steubing wasn't piloting the ship, and Issac didn't man the bar...but I expected to see them at any moment.

Firstly, if you have been with me for any length of time you know that while I love children, particularly my godchildren and the children of my friends, I have little patience for ill-mannered children.  I don't mean children acting like children, I can get past noise and answering the question "Why?" fourty-two times in a row, and even the occasional sobbing from pain or fear.  I mean children acting like tiny little Kim Jong Ils as possessed by the ghost of Veruca Salt.  The boat we were on was designed for 1900 passengers.  There were 2500 of us aboard.  The 600 extras?  Children.  Snotty, sticky, screamy children.  Wicked, whiny, whinging children.  Creepy, crawly, crappy children.  Badly behaved, badly parented, badly annoying children.  Around every corner they were pitching fits, cursing at their parents, sticking their hands all over the food at the buffet, splashing in the pool, and peeing in the jacuzzi.  I wished Doc was on hand to administer dosages of sedatives just so I could have some peace and quiet.

Not that I cared that much about the hands in the buffet.  Despite my final post of 2007, the buffet wasn't an issue.  Because the food was SPECTACULARLY bad.  Much of it inedible.  And in case anyone wants to mention it to the chef....the recipe for Apple Tart Tatin does not include JELLO.  Period.

The topper of the vacation was that the one port we were really looking forward to the most was Guatemala.  We booked a guide and a driver, saved all our shopping for that port, and read up on the culture.  Which would have come in handy had the boat actually, um, stopped there.  Due to hurricane force winds, we were unable to dock, and had to hightail for Mexico so that we didn't reenact the Posidon Adventure.  Gopher would never have survived.

The lack of stopping in Guatemala meant a full day on board, which leads to a full day of boredom, which makes one think that one should attend the Snowball Jackpot Bingo, which is, only slightly more fun than poking oneself repeatedly in the eye with a rusty fork.  I never thought I'd miss Julie the Cruise Director, but bless her little cocaine sniffing tush, I never heard her call "Snow White's Favorite, G-50.  Five-oh, five-oh, its off to work we go.  G-50".  To say that I was tempted to rip off my own arm just to have something to beat her to death with is a small understatement.

Having said all of that, the weather was good, my whole tan did not fall off in the customs line, and it is really always a pleasure to hang out with my family for an extended period of time.  Plus we got to stop off in Mexico City to visit some of the cousins, which is a genuinely incredible thing, as they are some of the warmest, funniest, most darling people I have ever met and I feel very blessed to be related to them.

But I am very very glad to be home.

And too tired to tackle the EZ Bake Oven issue today.  Stay tuned.

My friend Laura Caldwell's new book THE GOOD LIAR is out, so go get it!!!!

Welcome to 2008.  Let the snarking begin.

Currently reading : The Good Liar By Laura Caldwell Release date: 01 January, 2008

6:30 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Merry Everything and Happy Always (and the Curse of the Buffet)
Current mood: relieved

First off, let me get the very generic and non-secular festive season well-wishing out of the way....whatever you are celebrating at this time of year, I hope it is wonderful for you and yours, and that 2008 will be a fantastic year for us all.

So, I've been talking a little about this nutritional counseling program I have embarked upon, which has been very successful thus far (who lost 4 pounds in November despite having Thanksgiving bacchanal, and bronchitis for 27 days and therfore not being able to work out?....yep, me!).  However, like any normal weight loss/eating control program there is bound to be a setback or ten along the way, and since I last posted, that setback arrived.  With baggage.

I went to a writer's retreat in florida for a few days, which was unbelievably artictically rewarding and amazing, but, um, not so great for the diet.  I was faced for the first time since starting my program with.....the buffet.  And not just one buffet, eleven in a row.  ELEVEN.  All with really good food.  Some with BACON.  Let me just say that I don't care how much willpower you have, I don't care how much of the Kool Aid from your particular support group you have consumed, I don't care if you are flipping VEGAN, unlimited amounts of even shitty bacon is bound to derail your day.  Unlimited amounts of really good, thick cut, extra-crispy hickory smoked bacon will, lets be honest, derail your week.

The buffet problem was supplemented with the fact that ten feet from where I was settled with my collaborators to write was a large rack with sixteen old- fashioned candy jars.  Full of candy.  Free candy.  Almond Joy and Kitkat and Twix and REESES FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER CUPS. 

I mean, really. 

So you can imagine that I was relieved to get home and have a meeting with Carey to get me back on the path.  Which we did.   I had a complete freaking melt-down.  I will not reveal exactly what led to the weep-fest, since I am hoping that each and every one of you will contact Carey to embark on your own journey with her (www.elevate-life.com) so I'm not going to give away her stuff for free.  But let me just say that for about the eighth time since we began, she said something to me that was so simple and yet so unbelievably profound that it felt like a tiny little Igor in my brain flipped one of those huge switches.  And the waterworks started.  In a good cleansing sort of way.

So I am getting ready to head out for a cruise vacation (notoriously awful for trying to eat healthy and CHOCK FULL OF BUFFETS) feeling pretty empowered to make smart choices.

Here's hoping I can avoid the bacon.

Next time- why my inner child still wants an EZ BAKE OVEN.  Despite the fact that I have a normal full size oven and can bake whatever I want whenever I want with actual heat and not a light-bulb.

Currently reading : The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones By Anthony Bourdain Release date: 01 May, 2007

8:23 AM - 2 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

Wait...a weight loss program, that, um, works?
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Food and Restaurants

Allright, so I haven't been shy about my issues with my weight.  I've been a pretty happy, and surprisingly healthy, plus size gal my whole adult life.  But, we all know that the closer I get to 40, the more likely it is that my lifestyle will cause some permanent health problems. I had always assumed that if I could just get the exercise thing into my life, the eating would naturally fall into place.  After all, isn't that what the exercise gurus always say?  Getting healthy becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?  You get addicted to exercise, you start to crave it, suddenly raw vegetables are far more appealing than the new Vosges Bacon Bar (mmm...chocolate AND bacon...so yummy). 

So when I got my sedentary ass off my couch three years ago and hired myself a top-notch personal trainer, bought a pair of non-cute totally funcional working out shoes that weren't even PUMAs, I knew that a toned and healthy me was just around the corner.

Three years ago.

I work out with Gabe, who is at once a really good friend and the most hateful man on the face of the earth, three days a week.  I commit to a minimum of two additional days of cardio per week.  And by commit, I mean I genuinely INTEND to do cardio two extra days per week, and actually DO the two days of cardio about one week per month.  I still find the last 60 seconds of my hour-long sessions with Gabe the best part of the hour, dread going, and actually sort of like it when I wake up with a sh**ty cold since it means I have a legitimate excuse to cancel my training session.

And one thing has become clear.  Exercising regularly doesn't cure compulsive overeating, or prevent the Philly's Best guy from delivering till midnight.

So, after three years of working out and generally ignoring my other food issues, having lost a total of 60 pounds and regaining 35 of them, (five pounds down and three pounds up at a time) I finally decided perhaps that now that I had the icky exercise part happening, perhaps I should address my eating as well.

In my life I have done every possible diet, worked nearly every program, eaten crappy pre-packaged food and sat thru meetings.  Nothing worked.  I hate keeping a food journal, measuring everything that goes into my mouth, and feeling constantly deprived.  I'm too big a foodie to give it all up and subsist on carrot sticks just for the sake of, you know, not having a massive coronary on Thursday.

So I called my friend Carey Peters.  Carey is a certified holistic nutritional and lifestyle counselor, as well as being one of the coolest people I know, and having had a few conversations with her about the kind of work she does, I figured maybe she could help me.  We started almost a month ago, and I have to say, I am kind of blown away by how the program works.

Ultimately, the idea is sort of simple.  Your body naturally wants to be the best version of itself.  Your body wants to eat things that are both good fuel for it, and give it sensual pleasure.  Your body does not want to eat to the point of near explosion, nor does it want to practially starve and subsist entirely on rice cakes and soy cheese.  And your body, if you really listen to it, will keep you on a healthy path that can include weight loss. 

You have, according to Carey, two sources of 'food' in your life.  Primary food, which is things like family, friends, job satisfaction, cultural pursuits, sex, spirituality.  And secondary food like fried chicken and mallomars.  The more primary food you have, the less you crave secondary food.  And if you eat slowly, joyfully, and thoughtfully and listen to your body when it tells you it is full, there is no food that is forbidden, no measuring or writing down necessary.  After all, Carey says, it isn't about how much food you put on your plate, it is about how much you leave there.

And it is WORKING.  Even tho it is only a few weeks into the program, I am feeling more in control of my eating than I have in my entire life.

So check back here as I document some of my progress and setbacks (which I am sure are right around the corner).  And since the program happens entirely via e-mail and phone conference, (I'm in Chicago and Carey is in LA), if you are interested in checking out her program, head over to www.elevate-life.com and tell her I sent you.

In other news, I will be in Virginia Beach tomorrow night at the JCC with other funny people AJ Jacobs author of The Year of Living Biblically, and Cynthia Kaplan author of Leave the Building Quickly.  If you are in the area, come say hi!

Next week:  The Thanksgiving Chronicles.

Currently reading : The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible By A. J. Jacobs Release date: 09 October, 2007

10:21 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment