I don't know if you read the press or know what's going on with me, but the last couple of months have kinda been like a rollercoaster. There's been a lot of ups and a lot of downs, but I think ultimately at the end of the day, that's what makes you who you are. I also think ultimately, we all know how to laugh, we know how to cry, we know how to be held tight, we know how to love back, we all know heart break. But, the world keeps movin' and we keep movin' with it and everything we experience makes us realize how beautiful life really is. -Britney Spears
I think this is one of the most uplifiting beautiful quotes said by Britney. It helps me realize that no matter what we go through the world keeps moving and we either move with it or stick behind and let it ruin the rest of our lives. So, let yourself take time to deal with something, but don't let it control the rest of your life.
Eric
Currently
listening
:
Everytime
By
Britney Spears
Release date: 2004-07-20
Like Sands Through The Hourglass...So Are The Days Of Our Lives
Current mood: amused
Category: Romance and Relationships
Omg! Omg! I soo should be a stand-up comic like Kathy Griffin!!! Just some of the crazy and twisted things that I go through and deal with and have to see are just effen waaay too amazing to keep to myself. Unfortunately, however, what I seen and went through this weekend is totally none of my business but it was fucking fabulous!! Even though they are my friends...listen up all you gay people...if there is jealousy and trust issues in a relationship...end it now or fix it soon. So I will tell you one story which is quite funny. I was sitting on the loveseat probably smoking a cigarette while the TV was on listening to my two friends talk. Well, one of them was giving the other one crap pushing his buttons and whatnot like majorly (I thought it was funny bc I also love doing that to people.) So anyways, he got up and walked to the bedroom and said something else and without missing a beat the Devil fully comes up on my other friends he jumps up and like kinda crawls runs off the couch and ran to the bedroom and shut it and they started arguing lol. Oh, it was great. I love them. Haha. I would of gotten more into the story but like I said I shouldn't be exploiting them because that's just mean...maybe later we'll have story time when they sleep ;-)
Goodnight!
LOVES YOU BITCHES!!
Currently
listening
:
Blackout
By
Britney Spears
Release date: 2007-10-30
We DON’T Need Another He Said, She Said
Current mood: drunk
Ok here it is.
Q: Did you cheat on Erik? A: Yes.
Q: Three Times? A: Yes.
Q: Was alcohol involved? A: Of course there was alcohol involved...it's me. I don't blame alcohol for what happened because that is immature and ridiculous to blame something other than yourself.
Q: Would you of cheated if you weren't under the influence? A: No. I mean yes I knew what I was doing, but at the same I didn't. My judgement was definitely not working at the time.
Q: Were you going to tell him? A: Yes, the day that he would of left after coming down and visiting me. I don't think something like that should be talked about through text, email, or on the phone. I wanted to spend one last good time with him before shit hit the fan, but I have friends who like to definitely pry themselves in my life and put themselves where they do not belong whatsoever. I'm a grown boy.
Q: Would you do it again? A: Cheat? No, but then again this is coming from the guy who cheated so people are going to automatically assume that I am lying...which is fine...I put myself in this situation.
Q: What would you say to someone if they were going to cheat? A: Don't. It's absolutely stupid and you will regret it. Take it from someone who knows...I never regret anything...but this. Obviously if you are going to go sleep around there is something wrong with you or with your relationship and you need to find help or fix whatever it is that is causing you to step outside of those boundaries.
Q: What would you say to someone who has been cheated on? A: It's up to you. If someone cheated on me...I probably would still try to collect as much faith in that person as I can and try to work through it.
Q: IF you did cheat again would you tell anyone? A: No, because the only person that honestly really needs to know is the person that I am with.
Q: What is the point of you going on the record? A: I'm over it. Someone says one thing, someone says another thing, and I say one thing. Obviously, I will be the last person to believe that is telling the truth. I don't want sympathy because I know what I did was wrong. I don't want people feeling sorry for me. That is not the point of writing out this blog. I'm tired of the fucking "He Said, She Said" bullshit that seems to happen a lot in our time.
Yes I know I interviewed myself. If you have any other questions, the best source to find the truth is through me.
Feel the Rain on Your Skin
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life
It is a dark and gloomy day, where the wind is cold and bitter, and the rain keeps falling down like it has no where else it would rather be. I wake up, look out the window and sigh because I was hoping it would be a beautiful day. I walk around the house doing the daily motions: Smoke, eat, watch T.V. I get bored with watching T.V. so I walk around the house in daze that looks like I'm looking for something that I have lost emotionally, but I never lost it to begin with. I hear the high pitched laughter of Spongebob throughout my head, makes me lose my thoughts. I turn the T.V. off and head to the kitchen where I start hearing 2 rings...my phone...someone must of texted me. Alicia. We text a little bit back and forth. I light up my fifth cigarette in the past thirty minutes. Taking a deep drag and my lungs start to burn. I look out the window. I wonder what it feels like outside.
I grab a hoodie and sweatpants and my my way outside. What do you know, the wind is cold and bitter, but so is my heart so it didn't bother me much. As I sit there and look at the falling rain and wonder what it might feel like if I took off my sweatshirt and walk out in the middle of the yard, stand there with my arms wide open and feel the rain hit my body. I walk back in take off some of my added clothes and go out to the yard. I open my arms, close my eyes, and lift my head up to the heavens above. I feel a drop hit my arm and it stings. The sting wasn't a normal hurtful sting, but a sting of life. More raindrops hit my face and the rest of my arms and I start to feel alive as if I'm letting myself open and come to start actually feeling things. It made me realize that there is still life out there, there are things out there I still have not yet experienced and what I already have experienced is a lesson I take in and use it when it happens again.
We all have our moments of despair, sadness, anger, etc. The rain actually taught me something. Even though during those moments we still have little raindrops of happiness, a sense of wonder, and amazement. Even when life gets you down there are the little things that bring us up, and if we just took the time out to spread arms open and feel it, life doesn't seem really that bad.
Another thing the rain taught me is even when things seem to end, remember those little raindrops that have hit us and never forget them. Raindrops are a sign of life, a sign of hope that things will grow back.
Feel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you Only you can let it in
The Life and Times of ERIC!
Current mood: drained
Category: Life
Man, it has been an interesting few months. I would love to sit here and tell you every little detail of the past few months, but sadly I have the worst memory ever. So, I'll try and remember some of the important details!
I moved to Carbondale, Illinois, with my friend Matt and his friend Young(He's Asian lol.) Anyways, so that's where I meet this guy I was talking to for a while named Nathan. After I moved there we were talking more and more and hanging out like all the time and well we kinda fell for eachother and started dating. It was good for a while, but later on in the relationship things started to crumble, because we both realized that we are better off as friends. Let me tell you, he has become one of my closest friends...I love the little Red-headed Jew!
Anyways, soo I also met up with my friend Chase, which, Erik please don't hate me, but I fell for him while I was also falling for Chase. We were hanging out pretty much everyday and somehow I kinda stayed at his apart for like two weeks. Now that I look back on it, it was weird that I pretty much moved in. Well, anyways, I kinda-sorta looked for a job, and with that nothing came out of my crappy search! Then I realized that, well, once again me and my love interest should remain friends...and well sadly we aren't even really that anymore. I try to tell myself that, but, ehh.
After I got rid of that grody fun stuff, I kinda just stumbled across Erik really. Well actually, there is a long story with that...so here is the short version. I met him, and I didn't like him just because he was talking to Nathan at the time (Nathan and I weren't a couple at that point...yet.) But I was also really attracted to him, but I couldn't let that show because of well because. So, anyways, I guess (or I should say I hope) we kinda fell for eachother and started visiting eachother every other weekend, when he asksme to be his boyfriend, and well duhh I said yes LOL!
Now, Matt's Sister Deanna is dating Young the other roommate. Well Young got her preggers and now she will be moving in with them. Alright, I'm not talking shit, but this girl is 16. I have no problem with people having babies at that age, but it's not the age I would want to have a kid, especially since during that time of life your hormones are going fucking crazy, and to throw a pregnancy on top of it..it'll be a trainwreck. Plus, I didn't like where I lived. They really don't know how to clean and I can't deal with that. So, I already had it in my mind that I was leaving because I don't want to deal with a pregnant girl and a dirty apartment. So I ended up moving.
Now I am back in Bunker Hill :( unfortunately, and on Monday I will actually fill out applications. I started looking yesterday to scope it out, but I want to wait until Monday, to go around and applying in person.
This past weekend was pretty damn good. Sure it started off kinda weird, but during the course of the weekend I learned acceptance of other people's difference and being able to accept it and love people for who they are and not what they look like. I also learned that even ONE person can change another's life forever with your actions and words. They are both powerful tools and should be used rightfully.
The more I watch Across the Universe the more I want to go back to that time where it was all about love, peace, and activism. By the way, what happened to activism? They were going against the war at the time and they were able to change things for the better. What about now? Aren't we going through a war, and what are we doing about it?? Maybe we should all rally together and lay out in streets. I'm EXTREMELY bad in History so I might just looking really stupid right about now. But really, let us go back to that time where it's ok to come through people's apartments through the bathroom window. Let us go back to the time where everyone accepted everyone. Let us go back to that time where we were all emotionally, physically, spiritually connected and we all came together. Come together America!
All you need is love.
Believe it or not y'all, but all you need is love, and I got it. I am surrounded by the greatest love of all, even though I sometimes don't want it. But I am becoming more opened to newer experiences with emotions. I actually feel more alive than dead like I usually do.
I think that for there to be change in this world, the change has to start with yourself. If you're not changing then how can you change the world and the things surrounding yourself?
Speaking of emotions and all that stuff I normally don't like talking about, I think I am becoming softer every day. I am opening myself more and more to people and learning to love...again. Everyone will learn to love again, if they will let themselves...and well I am letting myself, and I can't wait.
Peace and Love :)
Btw, check out the movie (available on DVD and Blu Ray)
LOL! Do you loves it or what. So anyways, yeah I don't know what was going on with the last blog I wrote but I didn't like it so I deleted it. I had a change of mind. So the person who lied to me for almost 6 months was just an online friend. They stole pictures from someone and pretended they were male! LOL! Yeah it was a chick pretending to be a dude! LOL!!! HAHA.
I guess the reason for the blog was because a heartless asshole wants to try and feel real feelings too. I'm a robot. I mean c'mon we all know its the truth. My emotions can be turned off and on. I think what the blog was really about was me being a creature of habit. Yes, yes, I know I like to do crazy and random things but when you're always doing that kind of thing, doesn't it just become habitual? I mean really? So I think what my problem was I wouldnt be getting my daily text from "Sean" (the fake person btw.)
Oo, so I did talk to the real person today which his name is Nick, and well he's a complete asshole. I like the fake person alot better HAHA. So sometimes lying is good...I think? lol. Yeah, I'm totally not taking this blog serious. So moral of the story is, if someone lies to you...get over it. Don't let your situation control you because when you do that, you'll never be able to overcome it. Controlling the situation allows you to be in control and be able to move past it. Obviously I am in control of every situation I get myself into because I am over things lickety split!
Oh and btw, I was told yesterday by someone that they hoped I learned my lesson...and I was like and what lesson is that? And they go on to saying don't talk to anyone you don't know online.
Well that would suck if I lived like that because I wouldn't know half of the people I know today or have some of the friendships I do now. I'm not going to shield myself because there are liars out there. Everyone lies. It's human nature. Unfortunately sometimes.
update: so im listening to Hannah Montana and I decided to go with her...
blessed
amused
drunk
hopeful
drained