Why So Serious, Brandon?

Reposted from Brandon's MySpace Blog, "You're So Weird."

Is everyone really buying into Heath Ledger as the Joker? Really?

From watching the trailer, it seems he has the same problem Christian Bale did in the first movie: he can't get the voice right. I've heard a lot of people say they think he sounds "really, really crazy." Me, I think he sounds like a guy pretending to be crazy. Mark Hamill nailed it in the cartoon. One minute he's delivering his lines through gritted, smarmy smile, the next he was yelling wildly. Perfect. I can't place what other character Heath sounds like right now (it'll come to me), but subway pervert sounds pretty close.

Plus, his makeup looks like SHIT. You can tell me they're going for a "different, real" take on what the character would be like. I can also tell you that when comic movies are true to their source material, they're wonderful. When they stray, you have Catwoman. The Joker's origin is one of the most twisted in all of comics because Batman, though accidental, had a hand in making his own most demented enemy. If you want one of the best Joker stories ever, his origin was retold for modern audiences in Batman: The Killing Joke, by Alan Moore. It's a perfect example of re-telling a story for a modern audience, while still remaining true to the Silver Age origin for the character. Something Hollywood will never, ever get.

I realize these movies are not made for me, a devoted comic book fan. They're made for theater-goers who want a hip, new Batman of their own. I can accept that. But with the marketing of this movie, Hollywood is practically using fan-hype as a tool to get word out about it. There was a legion of Joker-faced fans undergoing a scavenger hunt at San Diego Comic Con for the slightest inkling of a hint about the new movie. The websites, though very clever, are targetted to the kind of fanboy that searches for every tiny scrap of info. I'm sad to report that we're all buying it. We so want to be accepted by the world as the source of amazing stories, that we seem to gloss over the fact that Hollywood is fucking up those same stories we cherish.

I'll admit this, too. The Joker has always been one of my favorite characters, so I'm extremely picky about how he's depicted. I was always going to over-scrutinize this movie, I admit it. But I stand by everything I've said here. Hollywood has served me a steaming hot mug of shit, and now wants me to smile about it. Thanks, but no thanks. I'll just spend my ticket money towards the comics themselves, or even DVDs of the Batman Animated Series, the ONLY popular media adaptation of Batman that has gotten it right.

I am a picky fan, yes. But shouldn't we all be? Do we really have to keep being hype machines for movies most people end up griping about anyways? Does that cycle ever end?

I even LIKE Heath Ledger as an actor. Ever since he asked if the girl had beer-flavored nipples in Ten Things I Hate About You.

Plus, the Batman suit looks like homoerotic fetish gear. For a good Batman costume, see Batman: Dead End. It can be done.

B

P.S. Iron Man looks fucking AWESOME, and true to the comic.

6:33 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Sitton Spin – Blog Edition
Current mood: awake

Hiya Folks! John Sitton here. I'm sure by now you've listened to the newest episode of Staple Pop. If not, I suggest going to listen to it right now. It's a good listen. If you have listened to it, then you know that it was seriously lacking my presence. Did this hurt the episode? Did this help the episode? I don't know, however after listening to it I severly wish I was there! Why wasn't I there? I had prior commitments, sadly. Will most likely not be there next week due to the X-mas holidays. Sorry to dissapoint, folks. However not wanting to leave you without a nice big helping of the Sitton experience...I give you this here blog post. I know it's not the same as listening to my sexy voice on the podcast...but I'll try to misspell a few words here and there to give you that sense of me misspronouncing things.

Now before going any further, I do want to say that I'm going to talk about multiple topics...some of these topics may contain spoilers for comics that came out this last week. Some of these comics were discussed on the last show. So, if you want to avoid them...don't read this and go read your comics. If you've read your comics this week or don't care about spoilers, read on. So let's jump on in and get our hands dirty, shall we?

First up, let's talk about Green Lantern this week. It's the BIG FINALE to The Sinestro Corps War. For that big finale we got 3 awesome comics. We got Green Lantern 25 ending the actual story, then we get Tales of The Green Lantern Corps: Ion One Shot offering some insight to the future of Ion, and finnaly there's Green Lantern Corps 19 offering the Epiloge to the whole thing. I have to agree with Tim's comments on this weeks show. This is probably THE best event DC has done in a while. Geoff Johns knows how to write a comic. He knows how to plant the seeds of the future and how to get the fans drooling enough on the thought of those seeds to help water them and cause them to blossom with awesome. Honestly, I don't think anyone has done anything this amazing with Green Lantern since editor Julius Schwartz decided to reinvent the character and make him a space cop back in Showcase 22 back in 1959. (That was a story written by John Broome with art by Gil Kane, for anyone who cares.) I'm serious. Johns is doing things in this book on a level that I don't think I've ever seen before with any character. If you decided to skip the whole Green Lantern event for whatever reason...you owe it to yourself to track each issue down, or at the very least buy the eventual trade release. All I know is that I hope that when they do release the trade, I hope it contains everything in chronological order. By this I mean, all of Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, and the Tales of the Sinestro Corps Specials. I know I would buy the shit out of a nice big hardcover collection of this whole thing. The thought of it makes my pants a bit tighter. I digress, though.

In the Story of Green Lantern 25 it all ends, and of course the Green Lanterns win the day. Sinestro is captured, the Anti-Monitor is defeated, and we get a nice view of what's to come down the road. We get some more of the "The Blackest Night" Prophecy that was in the book of Oa. We learn of the fact that there are other colored lanterns out in the universe. We learn that some of the choices made by the Guardians to win the war may have only solidified that the events of the prophecy will come to pass. It's some wild and crazy stuff. I'm excited. You should be, too. We even get a view of events that are supposed to happen in 2009. Holy shit...this stuff is going to go on for that long? I am a happy man. I'm bouncing off the walls happy. Of interesting note, on the show Tim mentioned the Black Lanterns. I want to point out something here. Go look at the rings on that page. Notice the symbol on it? Seem familiar? It should. It's the symbol of the Black Hand. You know, that character that Johns briefly touched on in Green Lantern Rebirth, and then briefly touched on again later in the GL run...sadly I forget the issue. In his last appearance he started to have a very zombie like appearance and has the ability to consume the life force of the living. In the preview of what's to come in 2009, we see the Black Lantern rings going to the dead. WOW. That could be cool. When Johns first brought the Black hand up in Rebirth and the brought him back again in the pages of GL, it seemed like no big deal. Like he was a throw away character that Johns was using to fill pages. However, we did get an action figure of this character and Johns had even made comments on how he was an important character to look out for in the pages of GL. I had no idea until now. Just amazing. I hope Geoff Johns NEVER leaves this book.

Next in Tales of the Green Lantern Corps: Ion, we get to see the fate of Kyle Rayner and the new Ion, Sodam Yat. Not too much to talk about here. We find that after his battle with Superbo-um...erm...Superman Prime, Sodam Yat is having doubts about himself. So the Guardians tell Kyle to go help him out. They end up fighting a loose end named Alex Nero. Now I originally kinda liked the idea of Nero. He was an artist type like Kyle, however he was crazy and evil. He was in a sense to Kyle what Sinestro is to Hal. However now he's been bumped down to more of a neusence than anything and the writers don't know what to do with him as a villain. Really, they could have replaced his character with someone else, and it wouldn't have mattered. He was a throw-a-way character here. However in the end Kyle helps Sodam Yat get past his worries, and moves on with his life. We also find out that Kyle's new position in the Corps is on the Honor Guard. This is a sect of GLs that previous to this issue only had 1 member...Guy Gardener. So in a sense Guy and Kyle are Partners now. I'm ok with this. Plus it gives reason as to why he's now appearing in Countdown: The Search For Ray Palmer. The Honor Guard isn't set to protect any specific sector of the galaxy or anything. The Honor Guard is the Guardian's personal task force. They go where the guardians tell them. Plus it's nice to see that the ranks of the Guard are growing, even if that number only went from 1 to 2.

To wrap up the Green Lantern love fest that's going on, we move on to Green Lantern Corps 19. It's some good stuff. We get to see how everyone is adjusting now that the Corps War is over (for now anyways). New York has been repaired, Kyle sets up his new life back on earth, Guy tries to rekindle his relationship with Ice, and Kilowog gets some R&R. Some lanterns mourn those lost in battle, while others celebrate the fact that they are still alive. We also see that while beaten, the Sinestro Corps is still alive and will come back. Oh and Mongul gets a Sinestro ring. Holy fuck, is all that needs to be said about that. Can't wait for the next issue.

Me being a HUGE GL fan...I'm a happy camper, and from where I'm sitting, things can only get better!

About the only book that contains a GL character that I'm disappointed in would be Countdown: The Search for Ray Palmer. This book features the characters of Donna Troy, Jason Todd, A Monitor with the name Bob, and my favorite Green Lantern Kyle Rayner. The book features these characters hopping around the multiverse searching for Ray Palmer. Why? Not sure, but according to Bob The Monitor, Ray Palmer is essential to the future of the Multiverse. No clue what that means as Bob ain't saying more than that. The latest issue features them in the world of Superman: Red Son. For those that may not be aware, Red Son is the Elseworlds tale written by Mark Millar where Superman ended up landing in Russia instead of the U.S. It's a damn good story, and I highly recommend you go find the trade and read it if you haven't. However in concerns with this issue specifically....ug. With each issue of The Search For Ray Palmer I care less and less for the book. It honestly seems to be going no where. It's only purpose seems to be "Hey look kids, we're making X Elseworlds title one of the 52 worlds in our Multiverse! Get Excited!" However I can't get excited because 9 times out of 10, the stories in this series haven't been that great. It's sad that I'm actually considering dropping the book at this point. So far DC has not been able to get me excited about any book with the the word "Countdown" in the title. It's sad since all these books are supposed to lead into the big event, Final Crisis. How am I supposed to care about your big event if I you can't make me care about the books that lead into it?

In other news...let's talk movie trailers. Have you seen the Speed Racer Trailer? Oh...man. I'm in love with it. It's honestly like watching a live action anime. Go check it out:

http://movies.aol.com/movie/speed-racer-2008/28066/main

Let me know what you think. I think it looks amazing. I also like the fact that they are doing a continuation of the series. I think it looks good. I think it looks like a really good family friendly film. Plus Mathew Fox just oozes Racer X in those few scenes he's in.

Another trailer that's out that I'm a bit more excited about happens to be THE DARK NIGHT. The new trailer was released over the weekend. It was shown with the movie I Am Legend. If you haven't seen it yet, Go view it at:

http://www.atasteforthetheatrical.com/

All I can say is HOLY SHIT that looks awesome. I can't believe that's Heath Ledger. I think it looks better than Batman Begins, which is honestly my favorite Batman movie outside of Mask of The Phantasm. Heath looks like he's pulling a little bit of Joker from every incarnation, while at the same time adding a bit of flare of his own. Right now this trailer looks like one movie no comic fan is going to want to miss.

In video game news....Rock band is the greatest game ever. End of story, nuff said.

And it looks like that's all I have for you. Hopefully that will tide you all over until I'm back on the show.

I'm John Sitton and this has been a blog version of The Sitton Spin

-P to the E to the A to the C to the E OUT!

Currently playing : Rock Band Special Edition Release date: 20 November, 2007

11:57 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Confessions of a Comic Book Retailer pt 2
Category: Art and Photography

Tim Doyle here.  This blog is a simulcast of my personal blog over HERE If you wish to leave comments and discuss please do so over there-As usual, comments on the Staple-pop blog are disabled to avoid confusion, and to keep the discussion in one central place.  As usual, SUBSCRIBE to the dang blog at either location so you can keep up!

"Surgery and the Assorted Marvel Comics 3-pack"

Throughout most of my early childhood, I had problems with my ears.  I had drainage tubes put in, taken out, put BACK in, and then taken back out again.  What the doctors didn't know at the time is that the last little round of the 'ol in-and-out, is that they left a hole in my right eardrum.  

So, while I was in 3^rd grade, I went under the knife again.  This time, the doctors opened up my right ear like a car door, folding it aside, towards my face, to allow them access to the offending eardrum opening.  Not adding insult to injury, but adding injury to injury, it would seem.

When I woke up from the anesthesia, I noticed my Cabbage Patch Kid, Lionel Landon, who had accompanied me into surgery, was sporting the same head bandage I had on my own noggin.  Nice touch, doctors of Kaiser Permanente! 

I slept like crazy during the day and a half I spent in my hospital room, but the one thing I do remember (other than a television presentation of the George C Scott movie T.A.P.S)., was that my mother had bought me a Marvel Comics 3-pack to read.

To a young child, the hospital is a very jolting experience.  The strange smells, the new surroundings, people poking things into you, suppositories and the actual threat of death REALLY is a lot for a 9 year old to deal with.  So, when Mom drops down a 3 pack of other-world adventure in your lap…it can have an affect.  

Marvel and DC used to put out these great sampler packs of comics that you would find just about anywhere, from Toys R Us, drugstores, and hospital gift shops.  Wrapped in a clear plastic sleeve, you could get 3 comics for about a buck.  (Cover prices back then were still around 60 cents…) The crazy thing is that you NEVER knew what the middle comic was going to be.  The front and back had the covers facing out, but the inside comic…what could it be?  The 3-packs were fraught with triumph and disaster.  Were you going to get a post-Byrne issue of Alpha Flight (bad)?  Or, a post-Byrne Uncanny X-men (good)?

This particular pack contained G.I. Joe 23, Conan 167(the middle issue…failure!), and Iron Man 190.  That G.I. Joe was FREAKING GREAT (there was a reason why G.I. Joe was the best-selling comic of the 80's), and the Iron Man…wow.  Anyone who knows me knows that Iron Man is my favorite character in comics.  I have become a lifelong Iron Man reader.  I worked my way back into the past, collecting EVERY issue of Iron Man ever published, and haven't missed an issue in over 20 years.  This is all due to this one comic.

This one issue found Iron Man, Tony Stark, suffering from alcoholism, and his rocket-boots and repulsor rays manned by his best friend, James "Rhodey" Rhodes.  Here was the lead of the book, too drunk and destitute to even be a hero, having to sit aside while his friend hogged all the glory.  The villain of the book- The all powerful, all wood-eating Termite.  Now, it wasn't the fight or the action that drew me in, it was the back-story and the inner struggle.  I must also note that this was the first time I had read a story where the hero of the book was Black.  In fact, I believe that this was the first work of fiction I had read where the lead was a Black man.  Now, this isn't a major accomplishment by today's standards, but at the time, to me, this was a bit of a shift from the whites-only hero club I had been familiar with up until that point.  Score one for diversity in comics. 

(Total aside…I do believe that comics helped to shape me politically in EVERY way possible, as well…but that's for a later chapter.) 

I fully believe that this particular purchase…that little bundle of paper and words and ideas and fictions determined the course of my life in a very real way.  I read those books about 5-6 times each in that hospital room, absorbing the details, the art, the colors, the advertisements…I mean, what else was I going to look at? The mad-cap chase of that particular issue of G.I. Joe, the real world problems in the not-so-real world of Iron Man, and even the sword and sorcery of that issue of Conan, all helped me get through that completely overwhelming hospital visit.  (Overwhelming, at least, to a 9 year old…)

There was an immersive world of fiction just waiting for me to dive into, whenever I wanted.  And, I have to say, the painkillers and drugs they were pumping into me were enhancing the story quite a bit. The loopy, nausea-induced state I was in echoed Tony Stark's alcohol withdraw (a feeling my nine-year-old self had yet to experience).  Like sense-surround with barf.  Fun!  Drugs!  

Recently, I've taken to reading my comics while on an exercise bike at the gym.  (I realized I have to keep myself in shape so that I can make sure I don't miss future issues of Iron Man…what if I die before it ceases publication?  Unacceptable!) Reading a good action packed smash-em-up while sweating and panting myself, just brings me closer to the action.  I used to sweat and pant while eating, but that was just messing up the newsprint.  Next time I'm reading 'Ghost World', though, I might get in trouble hanging out at the local high school, talking to teenage girls.  And reading 'Maus' at the next white supremacist rally will probably start all kinds of conversations I'm not ready for.

But as my ear healed (sewn back on slightly higher than before, making my glasses always crooked, and now with 30% less hearing) I knew one thing…comics are great.  I needed more.  I had to get more.  Now…where was I supposed to get more?!? 

Unaware to me at the time, directly across the street from the hospital where I convalesced, there was a "Lone Star Comics and Collectibles" just waiting to be discovered. 

*Note to current retailers- This week's lesson: Give comic books to children's hospitals…the combination of painkillers and the alien environment of Hospitals can give comics a hyper reality to those children, possibly turning them into lifelong customers with only a few page turns.  But, you might not want to waste your time in the terminal ward…not a lot of repeat business coming from little Johnny Lots'o Tumors. 

Total Digression-

That issue of Conan had it's fair share of sexual content…nothing explicit at all (this was a Comics-Code approved comic, not the non-approved Conan Magazine), but for a young boy just beginning to enter puberty, there's no handbook for how you're supposed to feel about a woman in a steel bikini top, bathing in magic egg-yolk to gain eternal youth.  Yowza!  For better or worse, these kinds of early exposure to implicit sexuality shaped me as well… Luckily for me, the fantasy books like Conan didn't appeal to me as much as the capes and tights type.  If they had, I might be out cruising Renaissance Fests, trying to pick up overweight wenches in corsets, rather than just meekly wandering the aisles of my local comic shop.  

4:53 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos

Video Game Review- Beowulf the Movie
Category: Games

Tim Doyle Here-

I recently sat down at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema South Lamar to view the new video game, Beowulf.  While I normally don't like sitting down and watching other people play video games, I figured I would make an exception today, as I thought the format (HUGE SCREEN) would make a difference. 

Now, I must say, while the cinema scenes on the game were quite well done, the game play itself left a little to be desired.  In fact, you might call it forgettable, as I don't really remember much of the actual game play at all!  

Beowulf the movie isn't a typical hack-and-slash fantasy fare, as it seems to put a lot of emphasis on 'partying' and not on level building.  In-fact, the story arc for the character seems a little forced, and not gradual at all.  Your character arrives at some village, ready to rumble.  While I do admire head game designer, Robert Zemeckis for trying to find an alternative to the ceaseless 'point-farming' and 'level grinding' found on most RPG's, skipping it entirely was probably a mistake. 

Now, a note about video game voice actors…While Rockstar's stunt casting of mafia-film regulars like Joe Pesci  in their Grand Theft Auto series was a pleasant surprise, Beowulf takes it OVER THE TOP!  I can't imagine the money they had to outlay to get Sir Anthony Hopkins or John Malkovich to contribute their voices!  It was a step up from Capcom's classic Resident Evil One (1995) game.  ("I hope this isn't…CHRIS' BLOOD!"…whoo memories!)  But still, not up to the quality of something like the aforementioned GTA series. 

I think the voice acting budget would have been better spent on development of the fighting engine, or character design…And talking about character design, it was particularly surprising to see Paramount decide to recycle the character model for Tomb Raider!!!   Out of nowhere in the middle of the game, there she is, Ms. Lara Croft herself, boobs and all!  Note to Paramount game development team: Changing her suit to a shiny gold from shiny silver isn't going to fool today's savvy gamers!  It was a weird place to pick to save some dough!

As far as the fighting goes, while the scenery and destructible environments were well done, the mini-boss fights seemed to drag on and on.  And, the main Boss fight, against Tomb Raider, was promised, but never came…Obviously a weak and transparent play for a sequel that most likely will never happen. 

All in all, not a bad effort from Zemeckis' team of game developers, but not an improvement over their much better sophomore effort of last years hit game, "Monster House."  But, light years better then their first game, the forgettable kiddie/ x-mas themed "Polar Express." 

In the genre of 'Classic Literature' to Game adaptations, I have to give this a paltry 3 out of 10, falling WAY behind the much superior "Dance Dance Grapes of Wrath," part of the famed 'Steinbeck' series of interactive games.

11:33 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Confessions of a Comic Book Retailer- pt. 1

Note!  This is a simulcast of my personal blog over at blog.myspace.com/timothydoyle.  The opinions I have here do not reflect the opinions of my fellow Staplepoppers!   If  you'd  like to read the intro for this series, please go over to my personal page- www.myspace.com/timothydoyle.  In order to keep the confusion to a minimum, comments for this series are disabled here,  but will be allowed over at the other blog!  Make sure you subscribe to both blogs! 

Confessions of a Comic Book Retailer

Now, before we begin, let me say that this might seem to start slow, but like building a monument, it's good to have a solid foundation.  I believe that my early encounters with comics as an art form and a retailing experience are essential to my experience and hopefully are universal experiences shared by most comic book readers.  Trust me, I'll get to calling comic book shops out for sucking real soon.  Just wait. 

1-Proclivities shown as a youth.

I was born at a very early age, back in January of 1977.  '77 was a watershed year for the world of Dorkdom...the full effects of which have snowballed into the dork-friendly cultural juggernaut which is the nerd-chic of today.  I was born, and then Star Wars came out in May that year.  Draw your own conclusions.  

I learned to read by reading comics. Or rather, I learned to love reading, by reading comics.  My mother had both my brother and I reading before Kindergarten…but it wasn't until she put an old Whitman Carl Barks Uncle Scrooge reprint in my hand did I truly begin to love reading. 

She gave me that comic, along with a Winnie the Pooh comic to keep me occupied during a plane trip to visit my grandparents in Delaware.  (Delaware later becomes pretty important to me and my life long love of comic books…more on that later.)  I remember being viciously ill on that flight, but in between bouts of filling that air-sickness bag, I was transported to Duckburg and the 40-acre woods.  

I think that if it weren't for my early experiences encountering the strange synthesis of pictures and words that is Comic Books, the extended narrative not found in daily strips, but true short-stories, my young and spongy brain might not have formed the pathways it did, the weird connections and mental machinery needed to make comics come alive to me in a way that movies or prose never will. 

The only way I could describe that first brush with the language of comics in my limited 5 year old vocabulary would be like having a 'secret cartoon' all to myself.  I could start and stop the show whenever I wanted and the voices sounded like I thought they should in my own head.  The most exciting and interesting part of the whole experience was my first introduction to the conventions of comic books.  The word balloons fascinated me, the motion lines were a revelation…the perception of movement that occurred between the panels…It was a new way of reading and pictures that fully engaged me in a way that Dr. Suess or GoldenBooks hadn't.  

And the deceptively simple way the art was handled made me want to draw.  Oh brother, did it ever.  I think one of the most overlooked qualities in children's comics over children's story-books is that the 'Books' are usually a lushly illustrated affair, with amazingly rendered reality, or goofily-stylized characters. In comics, especially children's comics, the art is an experiment in economy of line and simple color.  Now a child can look at the line-work of Carl Barks and think, "Yes, this is attainable…I want to learn how to draw."  But the Monolith of talent that is the children's book represents a level of skill that can seem impossible to acquire to a child.  Put some comics in front of a kid and hopefully you can foster a life-long interest in not just the appreciation of art, but the execution of it.

Point- comics.  

Time passes.  I pick up some comics here and there, usually as gifts or a 'this will keep him busy' type of thing.  This is the early 80's and you can still find comics in drugstores and grocery stores.  I was just starting to figure out the nature of commerce…in that you had to go someplace to buy something to take it back to your house.  Comic books didn't just magically appear in your parent's hands, they had to go get it.  But where?  Where was that magic place?  Enter Eckard's drugs.  The local store had a spinner rack of dog-eared Marvel and DC…but where to start?  I think the cover price hadn't even broken 60 cents yet, so cost wasn't an obstacle to purchase…it was knowledge of the characters.  Who the heck is Power Man and Iron Fist?  I knew Spider-Man, but not the Avengers.  To a five year old, a spinner rack full of comics is a little daunting.  I went with what I knew- someone from Super-friends. 

I remember picking up an issue of the Flash (Barry Allen still) off the rack and being totally flattened in my perception of superheroes.  I had been watching "Challenge of the Super-Friends" for a while now, and while it was fun, I wouldn't call it engaging.  But it did the corporately intended trick of licensing- it made me familiar enough with the characters to make me interested in the core product, the comic itself.  Now, I don't know about you, but the relatively tame adventures on Saturday morning didn't prepare me for what I was about to read.  There was some kissy-kissy stuff with some girl I didn't know (Probably Iris West, now that I think about it) and some super-villains that I didn't recognize beating the LIVING HELL out of Flash.  Now, in retrospect, it probably wasn't that big of a beat-down, but to a kid used to the good-guys always winning in every possible way, it was a bit of a shocker.  (I've tried to find that particular issue, but no luck…did I dream it?) 

The biggest hurdle to my young brain was the understanding of something that many of us take for granted in comic books today- the cliffhanger ending.  This issue ended with good 'ol Flash chained up underwater with the bad-guys seemingly triumphant.  That was it…no more pages, no more story to be had.  Every piece of fiction I had been exposed to up until that point had been a complete story in itself.  Sure, Superman and Batman were fighting the Legion of Doom every week, but they managed to unravel their villainous plans within the confines of their broadcast time-slot.  The problem with this book is that it might have said 'To Be Continued' at the end, but it gave no when or where to help me along. It didn't say which day I could expect it, or even where to get it.  There was an issue number on the cover, but what did that mean?  

Thinking back I could have just asked my parents, but at that age I didn't have the conceptual tools to even frame that question.  All I knew is that Flash was at the bottom of that ocean with an anchor around his neck for all time.  Man, comics are a downer!  Forget about 'em!

After what seemed like an insane amount of time, I found myself back at that drugstore, and the world shifted for me again. There was the next issue…the story continued!  Flash Triumphed! The planet is safe! I was really sweating that, at the time. Weird how something as simple as the 'to be continued' storyline almost threw this lifelong comics reader off the trail at such an early age.  

Luckily, again, this was the early 80's (82 or so) and home video game systems hadn't destroyed the attention span of America's youth yet, so I at least had that going for me. I picked up the book, read the cover off of it, and made sure Mom knew I wanted more of the damn things. 

Now what has this taught us?  I think it's something VERY fundamental to the nature of the business of comics.  To really hook readers, you have to get 'em young.  Same with drugs, but comics will probably be more expensive, and aren't as likely to get you laid.  

Just saying.

But, unfortunately, the conventions of the mainstream comic book are a bit daunting to a first time early reader.  This most likely isn't a problem anymore, as comics aren't sold on the newsstands, and 3 bucks is a far cry from 50 cents.  But it's still a valid concern.  Some publishers are making inroads with this, Marvel with their 'Adventures' line of kid-targeted single issue stories, and DC with their Animated show adaptations. 

You want to give a kid a whole story to read:  Intro, Conflict, Resolution.  But older readers want the longer, multi part story, a true 'Graphic Novel."  Eventually, older readers will die or stop reading due to external pressures like financial strain or marriage.  (Morbid obesity and girlfriends are not the comic-retailer's friend.)  So the true future of the industry is in the youth market. 

Much kudos and financial rewards will go to the retailer who takes it upon themselves to figure out how to get comic books back in the hands of kids, outside of the normal current comics retailing structure. 

One of my projects much later on, as a retailer, was figuring out how get local branches of the national chain of drugstores, CVS, to carry comics, provided through my store.  The numbers didn't work out, and they seemed more than a little disinterested in comics as a concept, and the full returnability they wanted stuck in my craw more than a little.  Returnability is something comics publishers don't even offer to their customers (the comic shops).  I finally gave up for a few reasons, but the one that burned me the most was- "Why am I trying to do what should be the job of the publishers?"  

And, here we are, several years later, and the publishers still don't seem to care.  They've expanded comics into the bookstore chains, but the actual periodicals are accessible only to a graying segment of overage fanboys.  Of which, I am a member.

That simple thing, that wire-frame comics spinner rack at a corner drugstore spun me into the UBER-Comic-Consumer I am today.  Whichever shop I frequent today reaps thousands of dollars a year from my pocket.  And that financial boon wouldn't be there today if it wasn't for that unassuming spinner rack.   And my story is far from unique.  How many thousands of dollars are lost annually for every individual shop for that lack of that entry level presence?  How many millions lost for the industry as a whole?

NEXT WEEK- Surgery and the 3 pack of Assorted Marvel Comic Books!
 

Total Digression- It's strange to think of comics being continually described as the joining of words and pictures.  Pictures (in comics) are stylized representations of reality.   And words themselves are complex pictograms, pictures composed of 26 symbols and assorted punctuation…representing abstract concepts or mental states, like "Love." When we read the picture "Dog" we understand what that means without actually seeing an actual depiction of "Dog."  The problem with the word/picture "Dog" is that there are thousands of different dogs we could think of.  It's in comics where we can get the word/picture "Dog" paired directly with a particular stylized picture of a Dog, and all personal prejudices as to what 'Dog' might mean to you are thrown out the window.  (And I say 'stylized' because the minute you put pencil to paper to interpret 3 dimensional reality into 2-D art, you're stylizing actuality to fit the bounds of the medium)   

DOG

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Confessions of a Comic Book Retailer

I've hi-jacked the Staple-pop Blog!

It Has Begun!

I, Tim Doyle, have started my Blog series, Confessions of a Comic Book Retailer, over at my home page, www.myspace.com/timothydoyle.  

It's going to be about the summation of my 20+ years of shopping at, and 10+ years of working at Comic Book shops.  What's good, what's bad, and what's acne-scarred.  I'm going to name names, and make NO FRIENDS doing this.  But that's what I love.

If I could get a job burning bridges and coming up roses at the same time...I'd be employed.

It's an extension of the weekly podcast I participate in over at www.staplepop.com, but it's too...uh...possibly inflammatory to affiliate this directly with those fine folk.

I hope you read along!  
Please subscribe to the blog, while you're at it!

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Going to be in Houston, TX this weekend (Oct. 19-21)?

Hey Folks,

 John Sitton here. Just wanting to tell any of your Staple Poppers out in the Houston, Texas area know that if you've got nothing better to do, why not stop by Oni-Con? Oni-Con is Houston's very own Anime Convention. I'll be there on hand passing out CDs with MP3s of the show to anyone who will take them. Stop by say hi. The Convention Starts on Friday and goes on till Sunday. It should be alot of fun. 

Obviously, my being at Oni-Con this weekend means I will not be on the show. So check out our new John-free episode this weekend where it's almost guarenteed to have less mispronounced words and lame refferences no one gets! I hear the rest of the cast has alot to talk about.

Currently listening : We Will Become Silhouettes By The Postal Service Release date: 08 February, 2005

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Wizard: the guide to poop
Current mood: Vengeful
Category: Vengeful News and Politics

Tim Doyle here-
Does the world need "Wizard: The Guide to Comics" anymore?   Sure, when I was a kid back in the heady days of the comic book boom of the early 90's (fed by the fervor surrounding the '89 Batman movie), Wizard was like a good friend.  It gave me tips on what comics would be hot and valuable.   It told me how tall Jim Shooter was, and why I should care about 'Violator vs. Badrock'.  It came with shiny, shiny cards, and for some reason, the guy who drew Turok was attempting to teach other people how to draw musclebound, sharp cheek-boned 'roid-heads just like him. 

But as I got older, I no longer needed to know, or even cared what comics were worth.  I didn't need shiny cards.  I was more interested in what was GOOD to read.  And that, my friends, is where the Wizard hype machine failed miserably. 

When I was a retailer a few years back, I made sure I read the thing cover to cover every month, just to stay on top of things.   Or, so I thought.  I noticed as more time went by, it seemed like every one of my more 'with it' customers knew about things weeks, sometimes even months before Wizard or even Diamond's Previews told me about them.  Why...how were they finding out about these things? 

"Well, Dumbass" they said, throwing a computer at my head, "It's online." 
Please keep in mind this was far back in 2001, before I could afford a computer of my own, and high speed internet was a toy for the rich.  (Well, richer than the manager of that comic book store could afford at the time.)

Hmm...so I dug around.  Wild world, the internet.  You got CBR, Newsarama, AICN (okay, even I hate AICN, but they got clout.)  And if you just want to hear Marvel and DC beat their own drums, you don't have to wait for Wizard to do it for them, you can go to their own respective company owned sites!  For the indie crowd, the Internet is FAR more suited for disseminating info about small-press books.  With the 'unlimited page count' of websites, publishers don't have to be limited by space, and can use that canvas to promote books Wizard wouldn't ever mention.

So, here we are today, and it looks like Wizard's days are numbered. 

Sure you can find it on the shelves of your local 7-11, but good luck finding any freaking comic books there. 

(Total digression, but don't you think it weird that gas stations and drug store magazine racks, once the foremost vending venue for comics, now don't carry a single comic?  Oh, you can find an anemic magazine telling you about comics...but where is the casual customer supposed to actually find them?)

One could argue that Wizard makes up for being bound to the sluggish cycle of a physical news publication by providing good content, and access to the 'stars' of the industry.  You'd be wrong. 

Wizard's overly cheerful boosterism of ANYTHING that ANYBODY publishes is what drove me away from reading the thing in the first place.  (That and the STUPID-high price point...let's see, spend 6 bucks on a magazine ABOUT comics, or buy 2 actual comics…tough choice).  Their inability to say that anything is 'bad' is telling, and smacks of an organization afraid to lose 'access'.  I'm not looking to get the kind of literary criticism that one gets from Comics Journal (ps- dear Comics Journal, please cover more artists I've actually HEARD of, and I promise I'll buy more issues...I swear.) but it would be at least nice to once in a while read an article like "Unity 2000...what went wrong?" or, "Rob Liefeld...are you still seriously buying this crap?"...or, "Comic Book Companies...Stop Hiring TV writers to write your comics."  Or maybe, just maybe, they could write a report on their own back-room dealings involving eBay sales on "Captain America 25"!  Heck, they might have even broken US federal trade regulations with that one!  No, instead they sound like a bunch of first year journalism students who never read a press release they could turn down.  Just because there is a Ghost Rider movie guys, doesn't mean you have to make it your cover story...please, it's embarrassing…cover yourself up, people are staring.  

See, Wizard could write and run GOOD, educational stories, but they won't.  They're afraid they'll piss off the wrong guy at Marvel or DC, and *snip* they're cut off, and bye-bye ad revenue!  I believe that they are SO wrong about this.  If you look at almost ANY website, comic book pros will talk to ANYBODY about anything.  Guys like Quesada and Dido understand the news and promotion tool that is the web.  They will talk to everybody. 

Example- today's front page on www.ComicBookResources.com - you've got Rich Johnston's Lying in the Gutters column buzzing about backroom cold-feet at DC over the Lesbian Batwoman book they've been sitting on, and Marvel's shenanigans with rights over G.I. Joe comics.  Some spicy stuff!  But, you also have a full on interview with Ed Brubaker about upcoming X-men storylines.  Do you see?  It's okay for you to call a spade a spade, Wizard!  Marvel won't cut you off!  They want to get their message out, regardless of what else you report!  

So, let's mosey on over to Wizard's own website, www.wizarduniverse.com and see what they have…surely, the GUIDE TO COMICS must have a kick-ass website, with tons of content you can't get anywhere else.  Let's see here- today on Wizard Universe we have…uh…"Toy of the Day: Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and it looks like they're trying to sell me tickets to conventions.  And statues.  Lots of crappy statues.  Oh, I spoke too soon, it looks like they're running "Annihilation Diaries" in where the writer of Marvel's Annihilation series tries to convince me to care about Drax the Destroyer.  Wow…way to go Wizard.

On top of all this journalistic mediocrity and cowardice, Wizard has seen the writing on the wall, and has been making more and more money on ticket sales to their conventions and their exclusive toys.  Now, a simple web search will bring up a TON of first hand confessionals about how poorly retailers and indie talent are treated at a Wizard World convention.  Not to mention the mind-numbing experience of endless line-waiting for autographs.  But these things all make Wizard money.  

I'm not against someone trying to make a buck…but don't try to operate under a veneer of 'Journalistic Integrity' when your magazine only seems to exist to hype product from the major publishers, which in turn buy ad space in YOUR magazine, and they send their talent to YOUR conventions…the very conventions you hype endlessly in YOUR magazine.  Then those very publishers tell you what hot storylines are coming up so you can then order up and sell those very hot and short-supply comics on YOUR very own web-store and eBay account.  On top of that (and here is where we get into Federal Trade violations) Wizard even has the balls to print a price guide to try to tell us what the comics are going to be 'worth'.  (This is known as price-fixing.)

So, you can see why this gets REALLY scary.  Wizard finds out what's happening soon from Marvel…with that non-public knowledge they go through their own retailer account, and order a bunch of books.  They write stories about why you should be reading that particular book.  Then they publish their price guide, widely regarded as being the industry standard, 'setting' the price on that book.  Then, they sell the books that they were able to stock up on at greatly inflated prices!  This, ladies and gentlemen, is called UNFAIR COMPETITION and insider trading.  Martha Stewart went to jail for this kind of crap.  This is a big dick-slap to the face of the comics retailer, which not only is their main sales channel, but BUILT their fan-base to begin with. 

If you stack all this up, the cowardly reporting, the constant hype-machine, the internet does it better, dick-slapping your local retailer…does the world need Wizard: The Guide to Comics anymore? 

I'm voting with my dollars…I'm just putting that money into new comics…that the INTERNET told me to buy.

Currently reading : Jack Kirby’s Fourth World Omnibus, Vol. 2 By Jack Kirby Release date: 22 August, 2007

11:32 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Grimm Fairy Tales- not just for BONERZ anymore.
Current mood: horny
Category: Automotive

Tim Doyle here.

As usual, my opinions are my own, and not the opinions of the Staple-crew, our sponsors, employers, etc, etc…they're pretty embarrassed of me, is essentially what I'm saying. 

I was perusing the shelves of Austin Books this week, and I came across this- 

Grimm Fairy Tales by Zenescope comics. 

Now, I KNOW that the Grimm fairy tales that are popularly known here in the states have been cleansed and filtered through the rubric of Disney.  I know about the latent sexuality and brutality implicit in the original texts.  However, that is not an excuse for "Cinderella Gone Wild."

Now, Zenoscope has brought us such fine comics as "Se7en" and "Final Destination."  Because, you know, I just couldn't possibly get enough of those storylines when they were in the theaters.  If the leap from comics to film is rarely successful, the path from film to comics has an even worse track record.   

Zenescope, with their Grimm Fairy Tales book, has fallen down the well of the now all too painfully familiar genre of "Things You Remembered From Your Childhood Re-Imagined To Give You Bonerz."

Was the editorial staff of Zenescope just sitting around one day and said, "You know, I really like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, but I just can't jerk off to it…We, as responsible publishers of entertainment for the best medium in the world, comic books, really, really need to fill that void.  The Fairy Tales you can jerk off to void." 

Now, I understand the impetus to 'update' old material to make it more Bad@$$ for the modern world.  But I got over it.  I finished high school, got a girlfriend, and stopped being concerned about the sexual behaviors of Hansel and Gretel.  These type of projects just seem to be the product of a stunted development.  Somewhere on the road out of puberty, these guys (And let's be honest…these books couldn't possibly be the 'brainchild' of anything but a roomful of dumb, horny guys) got frozen in time.

"Man, instead of the Seven Dwarves helping Snow White, what if they just have a gang bang?"  "Woah dude…you got a great idea…let's publish it!"  

I lump this book into the same ghetto I categorize such works as "Hatter M" or McFarlane's "Oz" figures (Recently optioned for a feature film!  The end is near!)  The underlying thesis behind ALL of these works, to me, seems to be "What if we took 'X', which we all know from our childhood, and made it really BADASS!"

And, invariably, those 'creators' perception of what is 'BADASS' seems to come from slasher flicks, porn, and heavy metal album covers.  

"Man, when I think of Hostel, Deep Throat, and the cover to 'Slayer: Reign in Blood', I can't help but think of Little Red Riding Hood."

It reminds me of when kids start to get a little older, they try to interpret the trappings of childhood through their now supposedly 'adult' eyes.  How many 17 year olds did you go to school with say, "Dude…Bert and Ernie are totally gay."  It's like as they got older, and the 'innocence' of their early years is now being colored by their evolving perception of the world, they no longer can see the validity in the purity of concept that exists in their childhood fixations. 

It isn't until those children FINISH growing up that they can fully appreciate the beauty of something as simple as The Muppets, or Neverending Story for what they are.  It isn't 'mature' to fixate on the sexual exploits of Kermit and Miss Piggy.  And just because the Grimm fairy tales are in the public domain…it isn't 'enlightened' or even interesting to do so there either.

And now…I am totally going to BLOW YOUR MIND.  I believe that Alan Moore's Lost Girls is a fully functioning, mature text that does nothing to detract from the original works, but only adds to our understanding of them.  And the difference between Lost Girls and "Grimm's Fairy Tales" is this- INTENT. 

LG takes the 3 female protagonists of Oz, Wonderland, and Never-Never land, and all 3 of them relate their respective adventures in those magical lands to each other, each with a decidedly adult flair.  And by adult, I mean both in a mature and sexual manner. 

What Alan Moore, and his illustrious illustrating wife, Melinda Gebbe have done is use the 'magical land' story device found in those original books as a metaphor for the 3 protagonists emergent sexuality.  All three of the girls, at the time of their famous adventures, are at the age when girls enter puberty…and as such, are entering new, unexplored lands of maturity and sexuality.  The emotional rollercoaster of nascent lust and longing are just as adventurous and fraught with danger as a swordfight with Captain Hook.  

Now…I know what you're thinking.  How could I judge Zenescope's entire publishing schedule so harshly, and defend Lost Girls for doing what looks to be, on the surface at least, the same thing?  Because that is all there is to Zenescope and Grimm's Fairy Tales…surface.  There is no deeper intent and it's as obvious as the above Snow White's lack of respect for her own source material. 

"Zenescope: We publish comics designed to give you BONERZ!"

Currently reading : Lost Girls By Alan Moore Release date: 30 August, 2006

12:51 AM - 6 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Who Wants To Be A Superhero? Season 1 & 2 DVD Contest!

We here at Staple Pop love the show Who Wants To Be A Superhero. We've got all the episodes recorded to our DVRs and VHS tapes. We're also looking forward to the release of Season 2 on DVD October 18th! So, in celebration we're going to do a little giveaway! One lucky listener will win the following:

• Who Wants To Be A Superhero? Season 1 DVD
• Who Wants To Be A Superhero? Season 2 DVD (Autographed by  The Defuser himself)
• Possibly more...we may throw in more stuff. Haven't decided.

How can you enter for this amazing contest? Simply send an e-mail to staplepop@gmail.com and include "Who Wants To Be A Superhero DVD Giveaway" in the subject line of the e-mail before October 19th, 2007. We will then announce the winner of the contest on the episode for the last week of October. So Get your e-mails in!

Currently playing : Halo 3 Limited Edition Release date: 25 September, 2007

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