Hours of amusement.

9:53 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Dollars and sense
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

For those of you that don't know this, fresh out of highschool I waitressed in uptown Minneapolis for a few years. I made a lot of money in comaparison to my cost of living, which I blew all on food, travel, and "stuff." And I realize that until recently, in what I've considered the most challenging two years of my young adult life (emotionally and financially at least) I never understood dollars and sense.

I invested in a year of college so far, which was fruitful. But I'm starting to understand that so much of what fosters common sense and experience is not taught in the classroom.

For example:

I never excelled at math or science, especially in a learning environment. And because some of it was never deemed applicable to my day-to-day routine, I ignored all of it.

But when you have to figure out how far your car can go on $7 worth of gas, your wheels really get turning. You set the mile counter under your odometer to 000 to see how many miles it is from your work to your house. You note the fact  that $7 has brought you up to the quarter tank line. You start to rearrange your schedule to work with these values. ("Hmm... I don't want to leave work at rush-hour because I'll get caught on 94 forever and that will throw everything off and waste all of my gas. Instead, I'll stay late and just work out in St. Paul until 7 and THEN commute home, which is roughly 7 or 8 miles. At that rate, I could maybe make it to work and back THREE times before my car runs out of gas!)

Who needs extreme sports when your adrenaline gets pumping at the sight of the "E" light on your gas gauge?

I was standing in the grocery store the other day and realized just how ridiculous this "transitional period" of being broke and relocating is.

There I stood -- foreign brand of instant noodles in one hand, classic top ramen in the other. Comparing price as well as nutrional content of calories, sodium, fiber, and carbohydrates. Seriously? A couple of years ago I was shopping at snooty Lunds or Byerlys, buying whatever organic low-fat, fair-trade certified, vegan, gluton-free junk I wanted. Or dropping $70 for dinner for two at Figlio. Now I'm trying to save 30 cents while remaining healthy as possible? Wow...

You should hear my inner-dialogue. It's like I'm a successful person trapped in the body and situation of a broke, struggling young adult.

"You don't undestand! I SHOULD be driving a Jetta!"

"Just because I'm buying this ramen doesn't mean that I don't know that it's 70% of your daily sodium intake and has no fiber and far too much saturated fat!"

"No, no. I DON'T support Wal-Mart. I just have no choice." (As I hang my head in shame and politely tell the lady ringing me up that I don't need a plastic bag.

As much as a detest (and take responsibility for) where I'm at right now, I can't help but develope sort of a superiority complex.

I feel more intelligent, deeper, and more well-cultured than the average 22-year-old. I've learned things that it takes some people years to, if they ever learn at all. I pay all of my own bills, (college loans included) work a full-time job as a journalist that requires lots of time outside of the office, balance my checkbook, keep myself active, have managed to maintain my closest friendships and family relationships, and have a wonderful boyfriend who accepts me for the mess I appear to be sometimes in trying to keep all of this under my control, while mentally and physically preparing myself for a deployment to the middle-east.

I may be broke, but I'm so lucky.

And in that, I'm sensically rich.

10:57 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

..So i joined the army.

2:25 PM - 7 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Weight Regulations?

Ever since the 1920's, when women first began dressing provocatively and the ideal body type was a thin-limbed flapper with a short bob and a mini-dress, girls have turned their bodies into a project, a measure of self-worth and a medium for self expression. The fashion industry is consistently associated with an impossible standard of thinness. It isn't surprising that an estimated 8 million Americans have an eating disorder. Recent studies have shown a correlation of one's exposure to media images to adolescent body-image disturbance and the endorsement of a thin ideal. In other words, the more we are exposed to these thin, rarely attainable bodies in television, magazines, advertisements, and other forms of media, the more likely we are to believe that these images reflect reality, which simply isn't true. Whether we like it or not, overall dissatisfaction with one's appearance has become part of the norm. With 1 in every 100 women suffering from anorexia nervosa and 3 out of 100 being bulimic, society has been long overdue for a wake-up call, which is exactly what we got.

After the  death of Luisel Ramos of Uruguay, and Brazilian super model, Ana Carolina Reston, the fashion industry begin to question whether or not it is acceptable to allow girls deemed unhealthily underweight to work the catwalk. During fashion week in Madrid, new body mass index (BMI) and age requirements were set. Girls under a BMI of 18 or the age of sixteen would not be allowed to work in the show. The general notion is that this would not only prevent the girls from developing disordered eating habits, but also would help pave the way for a new image of beauty and strength instead of starvation. The Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA) followed the lead by issuing its own "Health Initiative," which focused on creating an atmosphere that supports the well-being of models.
It's still questionable whether or not this is enough to protect the health of models and change the ideals we for so long have been influenced by. Lynn Grefe, chief executive officer of the National Eating Disorders Association, feels that "guidelines are things that people just hang on a wall."
Although the CFDA appears to have good intentions, it still has not made any commitments.  While Italian designers have gone through commendable efforts by demanding that all models submit medical proof that they don't suffer from an eating disorder, America has only made minor steps to encourage health, such as banning models under age sixteen, better educating designers and models about the signs of eating disorders, and keeping healthy snacks backstage at shows at all times.
Ideal as this may sound, one must wonder if the purpose of this is to encourage health or to keep skeptics quiet. Today's model weighs about 23% less than the average woman.  This can be extremely difficult for a young woman's self-confidence in modern times, when technology has made advertisements inescapable. While deep down inside womenwant to believe that it's not important to be skinny, the truth is that they cannot change what has been pounded into their minds. With images of bodily "perfection" being thrown at them their entire lives, this generation of young ladies not only strives to be skinnier and more stereotypically pretty than they already are, but they also idolize thin models that are already setting an example of the standard.

Imagine what would happen to America if the media stopped force feeding us images of the perfect girl. You know, the girl who has beautiful hair and a glowing, immaculate complexion and pretty nails and white teeth and a 24" waist line draped with designer clothing. The kind of girl on the cover of magazines and on your television and in movies and centerfolds of dirty magazines and even boxes of hair color.

 What do you suppose would happen to society of models were, well, normal?

How do you suppose future generations would occupy themselves? 

(Probably not getting manicures and going tanning or reading the latest Cosmopolitan for make-up tips and how to advice on weight-loss.)

 What would tomorrow's woman spend her money on?

(I doubt she would spend it on diet pills and hair extensions and expensive moisturizer and make-up.)

 Now here is the really hard question: If the purpose of today's model is to help sell a product, and if today's woman is striving to look like today's model, therefore, buying today's product, how does the fashion industry plan to sell today's product to today's woman with tomorrow's model-   the model who isn't quite as perfect in the eyes of today's generation?

Just how is the media planning to introduce this novel concept? Or are they even planning on introducing it at all?

The change needs to happen not backstage at a fashion show. It needs to happen in our homes, on our televisions, and in our minds.  There needs to be a body revolution, and it needs to happen now. It's time to start displaying all of these proverbs we are always reciting and then refuting with what we spend our money on.  Instead of saying "it's ok to be a size ten," size ten women should be cast in movies, plastered on billboards, and considered beautiful. The idea isn't that it's not normal or beautiful or healthy to be a size zero, but rather the notion bodies of all shapes and sizes need to be celebrated and included in the media. Kudos to Dove for launching their "Campaign for Real Beauty" which includes videos, commercials, a website, and advertisements for Dove products that promote the image of an average woman and raise awareness to the fact that what we see isn't always what nature intended. This reflects reality. This is a campaign not only set on selling products, but also with a vision to help mend the broken self-esteem of women and girls across the nation.

Until society and the media can integrate a variety of images in entertainment and advertising, there will still be a market for super-thin models. What's the use of denying them access to this market if society isn't ready to embrace reality? It was the standard created by the fashion industry and the media that have helped carve out this ideal. It was a financially supported standard because consumers bought the products advertised in campaigns that feature frail, tiny women. This anorexic model epidemic evolved out of decades and millions of dollars of merchandise sold.  While it's always useful to nudge the fashion industry in the right direction, it's impossible to change years of cultural development overnight. Every person who watches television or buys magazines or spends their money on beauty products takes a small fraction of responsibility for what has become of our body image. It's time for all of us to make an effort to mend the tears of our disintegrating satisfaction with ourselves and with our bodies instead of punishing fashion models. After all, it was we who created them.

8:50 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

confessions of a 21 year old.
Category: Life

I may be the oldest 21 year old you will ever meet.

I'm no longer naive about love. This comes with the trials and errors of experimentation and relationships of all kinds. Long term, long distance, pen and ink lovers, intellectual lovers, just-for-kicks kinds, once a lifetime kinds, once-and-never-agains, twice-and-more-than-expecteds,2 years, 2 minutes ;), heartbreakers, heartbreakees...

Can't say I've done it all but I've done a lot.

I'm torn between being sad and jealous of those younger or less experienced than I who can still feel butterflies or being proud of my ability to be cautious and not jump in upon the first inclination of potential.

I want the ability to maintain my composure and still be open-hearted.

But instead of wanting things I can't have or wondering if I even want the things that I do, I am grateful for one thing.

I am, for the first time in the past probobly five years (having jumped from guy to guy) unapologetically unattached.

Here are some of the perks:

When I go to the movies (which I've figured out that I LOVE to do alone) or rent one, I can see any goddamned movie I want without a discussion or a proposal. Any shameless chick-flick. Any ridiculous tear-jerker or subtitled masterpiece.

When I cook dinner for myself, I can eat anything I want. I can eat TOFU! I don't have to worry about whether or not I'm going to gross somebody out. ("ugh! Is that a zhuccini? What the hell IS that?") I no longer have to pretend that I consistantly love pepperoni pizza or cheap beer (though occassionally I do.)

This is amazing: I can leave my underwear laying ALL OVER THE PLACE.  I can sprawl out and paint my toe-nails. I can blare chick-rock to my heart's content. SIMULTANEOUSLY.

When I go out, I flirt. 'Nough said. And I can order a fucking margarita.

Yes, it's a good life. I sleep alone. No more twisting around to find the most comfortable post-coital position. I can lay on my back sprawled out and wake up when I want to. And if my hair looks like shit or i forgot to wash off my smudged mascera it's not like I'll be scaring anybody.

Though i am still open to the idea of another person to include in certain activities.. Ya know, eating, fucking, sleeping, hugging, ect, it is no longer a necessity. And thank god for that.

6:58 PM - 7 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Things to do within the next 5 years.

Time for a new blog. I am stuck on lists lately.

Hmm...What kind of list should I make today?

Okay got it. List of things to do in the next five years.

1. Go to Europe.

2. Eat a starfruit.

3. Road trip!

4. climb a little bit out of debt.

5. Roast a turkey.

6. graduate.

7. Land an awesome PR job that doesn't require me to sell my soul or fool the American public. (hopefully at a record label or in advertising.)

8. Start an album

9. Have a garden.

10. grow my hair out.

11. Become engaged. This is something I only half want to do.... but i want a family one day and I can't be a loner forever.  

12. Dress my little brother up for prom.

13. Get the *&#( out of Minnesota!

14. Kick everybody's ass at pool.

11:57 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

my wish list.
Current mood: giddy

1. A real, good old fashioned mixed tape. I am the queen of making them. I'll spend hours sitting cross-legged on the floor with a book of cd's out, nursing it, timing it, understanding my objective, praying nothing skips, and then hoping the reciever of this present finds good solace in it.

...Or a burned CD made especially for me.

2. The Little Mermaid on DVD.

**3. A spider plant. 12/06

4. A bottle of Marilyn Merlot.

5. A box of See's candy. (Dark chocolates.)

6. Some nice moisturizer.

7. Star Trek: The next generation.

8. To begin recording.

9. Fine artisan cheese.

10. Calvin Klein "Euphoria" fragrance.

11. A plane ticket.

**12. A cute pair of winter boots. 11/06

**13. To go tromping in the woods through dried up leaves before it snows. 11/06

14. Back rubs.

15.  A really cute apron to wear when I am cooking.

16. Breakfast in bed on the day after my 21st birthday. Even if it's just a cup of coffee and some peanutbutter toast. I want to be pampered and babied. (because I will most likely be hungover.)

17. To pass my psychology class.

18. Love.

** completed task.

11:57 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Who would you rather marry? (part 2)
Current mood: horny

OR...

10:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

why am i awake?
Current mood: depressed

It's Eight o'clock in the morning and I haven't been to bed yet. I drove down from Minneapolis around 4:30 or so. I really shouldn't have. I was so tired I had to hold one of my eyelids up to keep from dozing off. But now that i'm at my destination, 2 hours after arrival, sleep is nowhere to be found.

I just couldn't hang around the city much longer. It's especially lonely around 3 or 4 in the morning, when even the drunks are no longer roaming the sidewalks, asking for change.

 The first hint of Autumn struck a chord for me today... It felt like New York City. Crisp and chilly, sun still shining just enough to allow for a smooth transition from summer to fall. I can't wait to bundle up in sweaters and scarves.

This is the most boring blog I've ever written.

5:56 AM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

yay!
Current mood: bouncy

I got a new bike! YAY! Who knew that 25 dollars could buy so much happiness? my bike is the coolest bike that ever rode the streets of minneapolis.

11:46 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment