.(I WILL SHOW YOU HEART ATTACK).
Current mood: ambigressive

Radiohead

Hail To the Thief

"There There (The Boney King of Nowhere)"

okay so this is my mood setter (see above) listen as you read...

(ENTER: I WILL SHOW YOU HEART ATTACK)

this is me...

this is me...

this is me...

i am 100 feet tall

naked in TIME SQUARE...

clothed by MICROSOFT...

fed by VIACOMM...

what in God's name is happening to me?

i am trapped between two billboards unable to decide which picture

i want to become.

But no... it doesn't affect her.  She stands there, pompous and oblivious to the irony of the situation... oh yea, she's fighting the man all right.  She cries out about the injustices done to the kids in the Coca-Cola factories overseas.  She waves her cigarette in my face with a look of scorn as she reprimands me for not being more sensitive to the "children."

I tell her she should stop waiving that corporate cancer stick in my face and think about what she's saying.

she really doesn't even know what she's talking about.

she's never been on a mission trip.

is she even on a mission?  or does she just need a cause?

everybody needs a cause right?

i think so.

i verbally desist.

she is a little overbearing at the moment and i'm in no mood for her rambling before my final this morning.  don't they have coffeehouses for that kind of thing?

i know what you're thinking.  well maybe not exactly... but if you don't know me, then i might, at first, come across a little cold.  only because i have not slept in over a day and i am still unprepared for this stupid final.

whatever

whatever...

money money.

love love.

hate hate...

i

i

love love

you you.

sounds like an echo inside your head doesn't it?

show me something pink and black

and i will show you heart attack.

1:29 AM - 3 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

i should wear my color on my sleeve
Current mood: contemplative

i am inherently man.

self-made machine.

my demons come at me more restless than ever... and i only want to tend to the wounds they have caused me.  i would like to say i am broken and bleeding.  perhaps just succumb to my weaknesses...

but there are ten THOUSAND voices inside of me screaming STOP.

oh GOD oh GOD what have i done.  i am sick and ashamed of the man i've become.

i would stay for the fight but my head says to run... not a man with protection, just a boy with a gun. 

they come at me more frequently now.  my mouth gets dry and i can smell the hell i once lived in.

i pray for the comfort of angels.

i AM NOT AFRAID ANYMORE.

i am here TO SING.

here's to building stairs, friend. 

here's to the end.  here's to the means... to the broken, the sobbing, the split at the seams.

here is to stitches and facing the flame...  and here is to learning from all of the pain.

here is to LOVE and to COURAGE i lack.

here is to turning and not looking back.

i am rid of you.

11:51 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

i am holding her...
Current mood: mellow

i am holding her...

in my arms...

lifted... so that the sunlight hits her face...

we are deep in the forest... and she has fallen asleep

and a drop of rain, dangling from a tree leaf... swings out...

he is the only drop left in the entire forest...

from the shower... the night before...

and he swings out boldly...

and as he falls he sees greens and browns of magnificent tones...

and knows that things will be alright...

and the crash comes...

a violent crash...

worlds collide as water plunges headlong into soft cheek...

she stirs...

and i look down at her...

and she smiles...

as i set her in the car...

and wipe the droplet from her cheek (which she has hardly noticed)... but she stops me...

and holds my hand against her face...

with her eyes closed...

and somewhere inside i feel a burn...

mostly in my throat...

and i am inclined to lift her out again and kiss her lips...

but i think better of it...

and let it burn...

and when my brain starts working again...

she is smiling...

and her lips are advancing...

so i kiss her...

softly...

wet...

like the droplet...

that fell from the leaf...

from the shower...

the night before...

then i retreat...

and take her home.

11:21 PM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment