storyteller
Current mood: melancholy

i'm working on this story...

i think it's going to be my benediction.

6:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

sometimes i feel the only thing keeping me up is my total lack of direction

there's something funny going on with me... sometimes I think I can feel myself growing... quite literally. cells die, cells form, and everything expands just the tiniest bit. well, I'm past the age of growing. it just seems to impress on me more of a quiet. instills a hush and turns the world into a stop-motion play, all backwards and unsynchronized. the best I can do to explain is to say this: the nervousness grew so that it turned into relaxation - but underneath that feeling of supersaturation my jaw still clenches with all the tension of a thousand powerlines taut. but I'm allright. or will be.

Currently listening : Antics By Interpol Release date: 28 September, 2004

6:40 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

little eyes
Current mood: morose

it's been a while...

writing a blog is so reminiscent of my childhood - my early teens, such an old age - that every time I seem to shudder inwardly.

there's this odd sense of calm and dread... as if the storm clouds are gathering overhead, blown out of all proportion and sense of perspective... all neon and strangely solid, strangely wispy... like a bad high.

and little me in standing in the pink coloured desert earth and the yellow sky is so far far ahead that I feel cut off.

like a cardboard cutout I stand.

the yellow skies and big blue clouds are waiting to wash me in lime rain, acid and cleansing.

I sometimes miss me as one might miss a familiar bruise, a loose tooth.

I miss me 'cause I do not have the slightest idea of where I am -

or if the rain stripped me of all and bone,

and the bones were all the beautiful

in me.

Currently listening : Prisoners of Love: A Smattering of Scintillating Senescent Songs 1985-2003 [3 disc] By Yo La Tengo Release date: 22 March, 2005

11:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Landscape
Current mood: contemplative

Today... Today I feel like scenery.

Maybe something with rocks and wires or something.

And details

10:52 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

It never stops beating
Current mood: listless

I've changed it a bit:

I want to submerge in a lake of quiet

and to lay there

                  unhearing

                  unmoving

The calm will touch my skin

I will reach to nothing

All scattered limbs and silent eyes

All in my pool of softness

But as I lay I lie

My broken ears still flutter

And from my severed head

And from the hollows of my stitched mouth

Still the puddle's tears are formed

Drip drip dripping as unspoken cries

In these grayscaled breasts

In those overcast slivers of thighs

Your blue coloured smiles

Your violet painted hands

Your red and purple lashes

They are like echoes of distant soundfalls

Dreams can't come a-spoken

Your waking voice now muted sleep

9:38 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

And now, for the silence...
Current mood: melancholy
Category: Writing and Poetry

I want to submerge in a lake of quiet

and to lay there

                  unhearing

                  unmoving

The calm will touch my skin

I will reach to nothing

All scattered limbs and silent eyes

All in my pool of softness

I guess I miss being silk: all cool and sliding. I miss being a touch of velvet, good for stroking. I miss all those things I never were and what I don't think I could ever be. But, most of all, I miss having my own comfortable silence.

1:52 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment