2:01 AM - artist to watch

thankyou for telling me about this. :)
music.virgin.com
scroll down. i'm an 'artist to watch'
cool! :)
vote for it. xx

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8:33 PM - Strawberry music on a free compilation at Hot Topic

so if you live near a hot topic go pick one up.
Its was put out by Sugar Hooker. :)

here's more..





press release

PIRATE SUGAR HOOKER ENTERTAINMENT'S (SHE'S) ALL-GIRL MUSIC COMPILATION – A "HOT TOPIC" EXCLUSIVE…FOR FREE
For Immediate Release
Los Angeles, CA – August 6, 2008 - - Sugar Hooker Entertainment (SHE), the multi-platform lifestyle brand for girls, releases its first music compilation titled "Pirate This! Volume One."
The compilation, which includes songs from Jerra, Linda Strawberry, Charlotte Sometimes, Mojo Wire, and Oreskaband, is free in select Hot Topic stores with purchase of any Sugar Hooker item during the month of August.
The compilation came about when SHE founder and CEO Jerra Spence met Charlotte of Charlotte Sometimes at the Vans Warped Tour in June 2008. Spence recognized the importance of showing support for female artists by using her company's clothing success in Hot Topic stores as a vehicle for promoting/distributing her fellow female musicians.
"We aren't all talk", says Spence. "We are a true girl run company in support of girls in the entertainment business and fashion. We are genuine about our beliefs; we aren't some faceless company. When you buy a Sugar Hooker item, you are supporting ventures like the "Pirate This!" music compilation. You're supporting girls."
And like the SHE clothing line, the music doesn't skimp on quality and value. After all, the compilation is free. Go to www.sugarhooker.com for a complete store list to find where you can pick up a free compilation of tracks from these hot, new female artists.
Go to Hot Topic stores now to receive your free music from SHE.
Track Listing:

1.) Say It Again - Jerra
2.) Stupid - Jerra
Sugar Hooker Entertainment
www.sugarhooker.com/jerra

3.) Thieves - Linda Strawberry
4.) F**ck You I'm Beautiful - Linda Strawberry
Courtesy of Lovely Chaos Records
www.lindastrawberry.com
www.myspace.com/strawberry

5.) Losing Sleep (Acoustic) - Charlotte Sometimes
6.) How I Could Just Kill A Man - Charlotte Sometimes
Courtesy of Geffen
www.charlottesometimesmusic.com

7.) Roll (Demo) - The Mojo Wire
8.) Holywood (Demo) - The Mojo Wire
www.mojowiremusic.com

9.) "Yeah!! Ska Dance" - Oreskaband
Courtesy of Sony Music Associated Records Inc
www.myspace.com/oreskabandus

About the artists:
Jerra – Hailing from Los Angeles and backed by members from Suicidal Tendencies, Jerra captures a unique songwriter-based punk style that's musical, aggressive and intense. With three years of touring including the Vans Warped Tour in 2005 and 2006, the guitarist/singer/songwriter went back to her songwriting roots by writing relentlessly for the four years since her self-released debut album, "Play Like A Girl." Featured on the SHE compilation "Pirate This! Volume 1" are two songs from her upcoming fall release entitled "Whatevers."
For more information: www.jerra.com
Linda Strawberry- Linda Strawberry may be the nom de plume of a Los Angeles singer, but Strawberry is a true renaissance artist who is known as much for touring with Billy Corgan, as her visual arts and graphic design, her performance on piano, her recording engineering, and her online celebrity. In the spirit of the times, she started her own DIY independent label called "Lovely Chaos Records." The Lost Record EP includes six songs. Two tracks from this EP, "F**k You I'm Beautiful" and "Thieves," can be heard on the SHE compilation. Linda Strawberry's chaotic, rebellious, and intelligent methods for making music and promoting to her loyal online following of over 100,000 people are anything but orthodox, yet this striking artist is proving that it is perhaps her model that the music industry should be considering.
For more information: www.lindastrawberry.com
Charlotte Sometimes – This 20 year-old New Jersey based singer/songwriter is the thinking girl's pop artist. While her moniker may refer to a kid's book character (Penelope Farmer's Charlotte Sometimes), the singer's real name is Jessica Charlotte Poland, and the themes explored on her first album are anything but childish. Full of contradictions in content as well as musically drifting jazz vocals over tight pop beats, Charlotte Sometimes doesn't shy away from taking a stance on feminism, and to top it off, she does it with femininity. Catch Charlotte Sometimes live as she finishes her last week on Vans Warped Tour, and get caught in her web.
For more information: www.charlottesometimesmusic.com
Mojo Wire - Reigning from Philly, East Los, Echo Park and Garden Grove, CA, the Mojo Wire's name comes from a Hunter S. Thompson reference. Fronted by Monique Powell, former lead singer of 90's KROQ sweethearts, "Save Ferris," the MOJO WIRE is what would happen if Tina Turner were impregnated by the MC5 and Iggy Pop - sheer genius. We've been waiting for years to see what powerhouse Powell will do, and here's a tiny taste of the brand new, never before heard demo. Brace yourself.
For more information: www.mojowiremusic.com
Oreskaband - The high energy Japanese ska-rock girl sextet Oreskaband, from Osaka, Japan, will be one of the headlining acts on the Vans Warped Tour 2008. The band is scheduled to play all 46 dates on the tour, becoming the first Japanese band to accomplish this. Oreskaband certainly has its hands full with headlining for the Vans Warped Tour and with releasing its new album. 2008 is shaping up to be another eventful year in the very young and bright careers of the six girls from Osaka, Japan.
For more information : www.myspace.com/oreskabandus
Sugar Hooker Entertainment (SHE) is an all girl run brand in support of girl culture and empowerment.

Please visit : www.sugarhooker.com/piratethis

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8:16 AM - untitled

and when i was nearly dead
a torn up creature wandering
barely able to even face my shadow
you held onto me tightly
though i lashed out
unable to believe in you
you breathed for me
through my paralysis
kissing the wounds i would not heal
when i was consumed with fever
screaming out with wild rage
you pinned me and made me hold still
and all the hopes in me that had been crushed out
started to reappear
and the cold dead cavity began to warm
and you never gave up on me
and now i can barely hold in the tears
realizing after these years how far you've allowed me to come
you saw through every obstacle and character
right into the heart of me
and now i am at peace
and you belong to me
as i have always belonged to you.

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11:31 PM - bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

hi. im just taking a break. i reallly wanted to do a video blog and play a song but my webcam is missing... so i'll play that song for you when i can find it.
ive been sorting through old songs. old meaning written in 2003 - 2005.
its crazy to think how much time has passed. but im very glad because its given me time to be able to deal with those songs and their subject matter without it totally slicing through me. there's so much heartache attached to them.
someone was asking me why i havent released more of them. its been nearly a year since i released six of them (the Lost Record EP)
i can't even say why. its just hard to handle some of them. i have a new release lined up that i just need to finish. but the finishing is digging up some old pain again. and its hard to follow through.
i was talking to a good friend on the phone the other day. he was cutting straight to the chase.
I haven't been serious about music for a couple of years. i needed a break.
but the good thing about songs is that once they are written they are yours forever. i probably want to rerecord some of them and give them new life. the old recordings are good i just can't really deal with them anymore.

well anyway. here's a song i wrote when i was 18.

simple
to get cut
where your curves
are too sharp

simple
to lose sanctuary
for all of those happy thoughts

and there you are
isolating
letting your snowflakes burn

let go let go let go


one more :)

i move you
in a place already made
by your own actions
and not by me
i have so many words to
say at you but i am silent
'cause its just cold as ice
one of those blue days today
i dont know where you are
(hold me down love
in this sea of.. where the shadows fall...)
and the stars fall down from the sky
if you ask them to fall from the sky
and i know how you think
know how you work.. know you so well
and if i wanted you
would you come hold me dear
if i love you?
(hold me down love... in the sea of...
where the shadows fall.. i am so alone)
if i love you.
i move in this place that you've created
would you really want this place for me?

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6:07 PM - my Smashing Pumpkins poster AUGUST 2008

here's a poster i drew for the smashing pumpkins august tour 2008
GO SEE THEM!
they are selling these at the shows. go get one and see if you can spot the strawberry. ;)



www.myspace.com/smashingpumpkins
www.smashingpumpkins.com

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5:30 PM - i am your god.

i just know im not gonna have much time to blog 'blahg' for a while.
i've got plans. and some shit to do.
im sure you understand.
the extrovert is trading in for the introvert
so if the waves have fallen silent
know im off somewhere working feverishly.
i just need to focus on some of this art/music.

on that note
lyrics
to a morning song.

i am your god.

ive been tongue tied
steel cold walls
self imposed
you've been set on high, love
and you're dangerously close
to melting the current
i dance up your legs
i lick the heat you worship
and i am hellbent to cut through
a bitch gone silent in protest
and the hours crust rust and mold
your paradise bought with fools gold
the cameras turn and you give them the angles
its a slow dance that strangles
i've hidden all my best ideas at the back of my throat
i need you to help me untie them.
ive been a model scientist
i touched myself into a coma
these drugs have got me uncrossing..
how could i ever deny them..

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8:26 AM - deletion...

i deleted the last thread because i was bored with it.
the hate mongers still get blocked around here.
only small petty people think throwing cheap insults to be witty.
and honestly i shouldnt waste a split second of my valuable time even for a silly 6th grade style fight.
haha
i personally can't imagine going on someone's blog and picking a fight with them or being an asshole to them.
im very happy to say that. i really care about my life and the people in it and the art and music i get to create.
i try to protect you from exposure to hate and idiotic criticism on all of my sites.
i have heard everything you can imagine.  and i really mean everything. but i usually delete it before it can grow and reflect the poison of self doubt into your thoughts.
all i have left to say is that im really worried for this generation that has grown up in this kind of environment. if i was in junior high it would be extremely complicated to develop an identity in an environment constantly inundated by scared 'critics', hate mongers and the general lack of self esteem you see running rampant on this site and others like it.
i feel lucky that i get to figure out who i was and what i wanted before i was exposed to the general public and all that comes with that territory.
im a firm believer that actions speak louder than words.
so, im gonna get off of this and continue with my artwork.
its a self esteem builder. :)

i apologize to the people who wrote me disappointed that i even gave that sad person the time of day.
you are right.

all my love.

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4:45 PM - the ring. :)

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10:47 PM - IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my darling justin coloma asked me to marry him tonight at sunset at the place that we first went when we met each other. my ring is GORGEOUS and conflict free.

(if you follow the diamond stuff you know what i mean)
I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so so so so so so so so so so so so so happy
if you want to say congrats to him as well his myspace is myspace. com/bornonhalloween

love you!!!!!!!
yay!!!


xoxoxoo

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10:29 AM - im retiring .. her...

growing up is a strange thing.
you can grow up suddenly in a space of a few days
or slowly and steadily through a space of years.
you never know.
and when the change happens you can never go back nor would you want to.
priorities change
values change
you start to want different things.
im there right now.
ive been arriving here for eight months.
what used to turn me on just doesnt do it for me.
its not exactly that im sick of myself haha. its actually that i love myself now
and i am not so willing to throw myself into dangerous situations
or damage myself to get somewhere im not even sure i want to go.
or spend time with people i fear or people i know i wont like.
ive had 6 years of reckless abandon in an industry and city that chews people up.
now when i look around me i recognize the demons and destruction
ive gotten to know them first hand.
ive done the drugs. ive thrown the punches.
i had such a childish romance with death..
now i feel that ive fallen in love with my life instead.
im gonna stop trying to micromanage my future and im going to relax.
this last year has taught me alot of things.
who i am not anymore. who i dont want to become. who i really am. and what i want for my future.
its not longer attractive to me to picture my life as a gypsy on the road with a broken heart or some bullshit that i read in a book that would kill my boredom.
i want a much bigger life than that.
what IS important is that i stop worrying and enjoy my life again. and have fun doing the things that i love to do. life is too short to worry. i need to roll with the punches.
im anxious and excited to redefine what i am doing right now and to begin the next phase of what i hope to become very big life filled with all of the things i care about.
i feel that this moment is like walking from one room to the next and shutting the door.
and what demons and mistakes and scars are in that room can no longer hurt me.
im retiring the girl who woke up wondering where she was still drunk.
im retiring the girl who had to escape a producers house in the middle of the night and walk two miles home in hills shaking.
im retiring the girl who did hard drugs in a shithole in silverlake.
im retiring the girl who kept so much drama in her life that she wouldnt have to feel anything.
im retiring the girl who played characters in order to be what she thought people wanted.
im retiring the girl who gave herself to too many people who didnt deserve her.
im retiring the lost girl who wrote the lost record and lost everything.
im retiring the angry screaming terror that helped me fight for my life.
im retiring the jaded girl who doesnt believe in anything or anyone.
im retiring the girl who thought fame would bring her self worth.
im retiring the girl who was careless with people and didnt take responsibility.
im retiring the girl who would destroy everything and leave everything in ruin.

im leaving them behind.
magnolia - the wild drunk party girl who sleeps in her heels and has too many lovers and who runs away faster than the gingerbread man... as if destruction were somehow glamorous.
scarletta - the darkness, depressed, self obsessive, pity partying. thinks she's so much more complicated than anyone would ever understand. afraid of being plain.
violent violet - the fighter. the one that will burn your house down. the one you dont fuck with. the one who survives anything. the razor sharp mouth.. the anger.

i dont need you girls anymore. but thankyou for getting me this far.
im shutting the door on you.

my life is beautiful because im letting it be beautiful. and im allowing it to happen.
and im taking all the good lessons. of hard work. patience. passion. fire. and faith with me.
i want to spend my time doing what makes me happy.. whatever that is.

oh... and i love my justin for helping me see myself in this light and for giving me the opportunity to not have to fight and to remember how to be peaceful and happy.

girls, the right guy will always build you up and support you. only the shitheads will ask you to compromise yourself. trust me ive done my time in that jail cell.

ok this concludes this rant.

xxxx

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11:07 AM - im playing a few songs tomorrow..

its in hollywood. and there's free drinks and food and stuff...
so if you are around and need something to do
come to this.
im playing four or five songs. xx

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10:54 AM - attitude

my dad told me this story the other day when i was frustrated.

there once was a woman who woke up and only had three hairs left on her head
so she said
well, i guess ill have to braid my hair today..
and she went on and had a great day

the next morning she woke up and she only had two hairs left...
she said well i guess ill have to part it in the middle today
and she went on and had a wonderful day

the next morning she woke up and there was only one hair left..
she said
well i guess ill have to do a mohawk today..
and went on and had an amazing day

the next morning she woke up and she was completely bald..
and she said
oh great! i guess i dont have to do my hair today
and went on and had an excellent day..


:)

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5:47 PM - monday update july 7. her face was drawn...

i took a walk earlier to a park and sat staring at the beautiful mountains here in provo/orem.
i had to take a break and run off somewhere and give my head a rest.
my little brother tim gets home from his two year mission in indonesia in about an hour.
we've made signs and cleaned and reorganized and my mom is so excited she's doing things like washing walls and mowing the lawn. my dad is out on a ledge with tape all over his arm putting the banner up.
marble the cat is chewing on my elbow.
liahna is downstairs talking to her anime fan friends.
paul is with his girlfriend kayla dreamy eyed and in love.
its so nice to be home.
i've been drawing NONSTOP for a poster for the last three days. its a great opportunity but my nerves in my hand are numb.
im in utah so i have no weed. not that im a pothead but since we have that legal prescription a hit of the anti anxiety stuff is BRILLIANT.
but i dont have any.. so im like bouncing off walls and freaking out and driving everyone nuts.
so.. i hope all of you are doing well

love

i forgot laura is playing world of warcraft.(any of you guys play)
and my nieces kayla and natalie were sitting drawing in their my little pony books. :)

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7:58 AM - happy fourth of july!!

I'm sitting out in the sun baking already and its only 8. By noon ill be burnt christmas. I just left a voicemail for all you guys that called so far. If I haven't responded I will...I have been working late late late. I'm in utah. Its my little sisters birthday... I hope you all are having a beautiful day. I'm at a parade. Typing with my thumbs. I just ran into 20 of my cousins..no joke. Xo

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11:22 AM - CALL ME

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