ITALY BOUND

I'm excited to have the opportunity to live in Italy for a year. We'll be leaving in march of 2009. Adam Got a job with MontBlanc/richemont as a technician. He will be leaving for training school for 4 months in New Jersey. All paid expenses including Car, apartment, per Diem, and salary. They actually have techs to repair the expensive pens! Wow, I am so excited! He'll return and work in Ft. Worth. On the down side, I'll have to home school Samantha since in the Lockheed contract, the s.o.f.a. status prohibits her from attending school unless you pay 20K per year. Shawn and Adam will have the house for a year. I just hope I get it back in one piece!

5:29 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

SPEICHER VILLAGE
Current mood: adventurous
Category: MySpace

Speicher is an adorable town/village, nestled amongst many little villages 1.5 hours west of Heidelberg Germany. Tiny little winding roads up and down hills. Each house equipped with window flower boxes errupting in some kind of flora.. The down town village houses are linked together like retail plaza's in America, but they are residences. Each front door is different. Some gothic some like barn doors. small courtyard gardens with fanciful flora.

Wiedenhof palace, over looks the cobblestone village. In the center stands a monestary old world church with bell and clock tower. The smells are all to familiar, though forgotten, it didn't take long to recognize them from my childhood where I lived as a child in Stuttgart. Words can't describe there essence. Drinking the water is smooth without bitter after taste. If you ever get a chance to order it, it's called Gerolsteiner naturell. Well worth it

Winding down then up 1000 ft. headed out of Speicher into bitberg about 10-15 minutes away, the tall trees on both sides eclipse overhead. Slabs of granite. are sometimes visible. You can hike or bike ride hrough the forest, since there isn't any underbrush or overgrowth. You can see beside each towering tree. Amazing how the forest seems more accessable/people friendly yet untouched. Only the occasional logger will chop and pile the wood to gather later. The rule is for every tree you cut, you must plant one prior.

The weather is amazingley cold for mid July. 69 degrees, but 80 % humidity. No A/C units. Windows open full throttle. The sounds of the church's bell tower echo over the meadow. The gentle breeze sway the aspens near by. With the weekend upon us, the village will nestle down like blue laws in the U.S., for the weekend. So it's best to hit the pubs and resturaunts then do your travel research/planning during the down time.

Modern conveniences not here...lol! No hairspray in any familiar brand, and your curling irons won't work in 220 outlets. Converters are expensive so buy a cheap german curling iron if you must, and leave yours at home.On the coffee subject: There is NO splenda, or equal. Damn glad I keep splenda in my purse for my coffee. Don't worry about not having starbucks here, theres awesome latta's everywhere. But you better have your sweetener if you don't like real sugar. OMG...the food, bread and deli ...no words can describe them. You just got to see it when you get off the plane in Frankfort or Luxembourg. I couldn't wait to eat the broachen. I ate it all through my hike to the town and back up the hill and was in heaven doing it....lol! all the while thinking of mom and I as a child going and getting them fresh out of the oven. I know she's somewhere in heaven cheering me on!

No one can beat mom's rouladen, but I had the meat market put some together for me to cook back at my Wiedenhof palace. So rouladen and spaetzel's for sup tomorrow.

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THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE AND BACK

I've been though the eye of a needle, and back. I can't tell you what that's like. you have to see it for yourself. For myself, it was emptiness. Waking up and not realizing that I had been asleep for 2 weeks and where was my daughter and was my mother alive in her last days. Unable to speak or walk I had to depend on others that shoved tubes down my nose and got pissed off when in your delerium pulled it out. I pray I grow faith, so I never have to be in that black hole of emptiness again.

2 weeks coma, 1 month in hospital and I'm still struggling with it. I was tramautized with the fear of no faith and death. How does one grow faith? I'm 2 months out and still can't fully walk and can't stop shaking, or waking up in fear, and only weigh 94 lbs. Will this happen again, as I'm told it could. I went through struggling to figure out what happened, lots of pain; then filling in the blanks; then fear; then mourning; then anger and wanting answers; now trying to rebuild. My mother and best friend died a day after I was brought home. I was her caretaker, and I wasn't there for her until her last breath as they wheeled me in to her house and wheeled her out to the ambulance doing cpr. The young cop wouldn't let me hold her hand as they wheeled her out. He held me back. I'm still devistated over that. It haunts me.

I have lot's of regrets. One of them is thinking I could do it alone until the brink of exhaustion. If you have an elderly loved one, don't think you are wrong for knowing when the time comes that you can't do it alone, and need an assissted home. Home health care was great but only came for short stints. Know when to ask for more help.

God Bless us all, as we will be elderly too....Susan

4:18 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHEN SOMEONE ANNOYS YOU!
Current mood: thankful
Category: Blogging

    Heavenly Father,Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is Rushing home to cook dinner,help with homework,do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

     Help us to remember that the pierced,tattooed,disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-yea r-old college student,balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.   

     Remind us,Lord,that the scary looking bum,begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.   

     Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment,knowing that,based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together.   

     Heavenly Father,remind us each day that,of all the gifts you give us,the greatest gift is love.It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive,show patience,empathy and love.

author unknown

3:30 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

WORDS TO GO BY
Current mood: thankful
Category: Blogging

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend, and lose friends you thought you would always have. You'll blame a new love for things that an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing to fast, and you'll eventually lose somebody you can't live without. So take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back! Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Let someone know what they are missing. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Live life. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and most of all, have no regrets. Life's too short to be anything but happy.

I almost lost my mother over the Chirstmas holiday.I liked these words of wisdom.

 I'm sitting in her living room after bringing her home, and thinking wow, I would never have thought I would be sitting here with her again. She's like a rubber ball, just keeps bouncing back. Countless times in 3 years, she's just sat up from the brink of death. I'm still numb. She's a true ninja! Susan

2:58 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

FINDING YOUR AFRICA
Current mood: hopeful

I'm so happy and relieved that Adam is with his dad in S.C. He's doing so well, and respectful with his dad. He needed that male bonding and not mom nagging, or helicoptering.. I'm proud of the fact that he had to good sense to realize that he was heading nowhere, and he needed to get away or stay in the same situation with his friends. He is trying in small steps. He would make a great youth counselor. He's been there done that and knows all the bullshit teenagers pull. I pray he finds his "Africa" or inner peace. He's had to many scarry experiences with friends dying. It's scarry for me too! Small steps are ok, as long as he's thinking and realizing, We're willing to be there every step with him.

9:06 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Cross Over

My little girl finished her first year of school. I'm thinking how fast the years went by for my two boys. I know that when she's 16 or so, I will remember back to this moment and say "where did my girl go?"

I often wonder about the boys, and where did they go. Of course they are the same, but it is different. They don't run up for a hug, or to sit on your lap. You miss your little boys that used to fight with one another in boyish ways. They don't fight anymore, and are best of friends, no more pranks but pals. No more cute clothes to buy, no more ninja turtles, nurf toys, or scraped knees to mend. My barefoot smiling little boys in the florida summer sun. My little boys that never shut their mouth the entire drive in the car. Question after question and how it drove me nuts.Now they ride silently in the car, gazing out the window. You long for them to open up and talk and not be a stranger.

Will my daughter be that way too, will she not run up for hugs, and sit on my lap? Will she sit silently in the car? Like the boys, will I find her school art work in a box, in the garage. And sit on the floor for an eternity looking and laughing at the cute stories and cute pictures and awards won.

I have reached a theshhold in my life. A crossover if you will. Until you reach it, you will not know. Can I embrace it? For now, I have my daughter to get me through it. I have her time, she's lending me another chance and until then, I will have to take my time. Walk her to her class room, pack her lunch, no ninja turtles! but lots of barbie's and cute clothes and her favorite color "pink" And of she talks until I'm blue in the face, I will just have to remember how fast it goes by, and just love it.(picture is samantha in watch)

11:07 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A LOT OF BLA-BA-BLA.....BA....BLA-BLA-BLA!!!!!
Category: Blogging

I  like to think I'm getting better with age...I just wish my body was too!!!

Every day is a new surprise...In the mirror that is!!

each morning is a new adventure...I'm always finding new things, I've lost the day before!

I can get big pleasures just from sitting outside drinking coffee in the morning breeze, and go in and have my fish excited to see me feed them before I go to work...LOL! God I'm getting old!

I like simple things like burning essential oils. I love a nice aroma in the house. Trying an exotic recipe from food network (ha!)going to the dog park, cultivating a bonsai from stock to a thing of beauty and age, finding a good song.

5:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment