Horsefaces in ’Sex & The City’ movie

In response to my friend Staci Layne Wilson's blog www.myspace.com/staciwilson,  in which someone posted a rant about how hideously ugly Sarah Jessica Parker is and how no men actually find her attractive, I wanted to say this:

I feel like the media tells us who is attractive and who is not - and ignore us when we say - "um, no" which is rarely. SJP being case in point. She's not sexy. She does, however, kind of look like a guy in drag,

and since Sex and the City is REALLY some gay dude's fantasy about what its like to be a woman (buy shoes! have sex with young boys! be a slut and wear fancy prada dresses! talk about frivolous crap no one cares about, just like we do now because we're WOMEN! All men we date are Billionaires!) it doesn't surprise me.

Also, though no one likes looking at a horseface, the bigger issue for me is that everyone is so fucking energized about how much money this movie made and it features women over 40, but... BUT what the hell is this movie about? It's about women over 40 who are shallow, sexually promiscusous, unfulfilled, unintelligent, who have careers but shoose instead to make the main focus of their lives MEN and Shoes. This we should celebrate, I ask? So, we can only get women over 40 in movies that make money when the movie is basically saying "Look, I know you're 40, you look 40, but can you please act 19? Yeah, women are great, whatever!" Seriously, I had more real and heartfelt friendships and romantic relationships in 5th grade than the characters on that show. Their sex lives (and we're focusing on SEX here, right, as in "Sex & The City) are so awfully lame, I'd puke in a toilet rightnow if I had had that many sexual partners in my lifetime. Seriosuly, if you watch that show and think, "Yeah, having sex with that many dudes sounds about normal, you are a BIG SLUT. (One more point about how this show is written for gay dudes- they're all slutty)

Not to mention it exemplifies and glorifies everything WRONG with our culture today - people buying 500 dollar shoes when other have no health care and can't afford to finish school, or even pay their rent. Nice one, Holywood! Way to be stuck in a fantasy world of idiocy unseen since the badly written screwball comedies of depression era cinema in which large ladies with monocles got whacked in the face with a pie while in reality people were jumping out of windows so they wouldn't have to go on living. Shoes rock! and are important.

Another one - horse face, that is - Penelope Cruz. Of course, men DO find her attractive. This is because while SJP is SO ugly not even the men fell for it this time, men usually find anything up on a billboard hot. Also, anything that is considered "popular" in high school is "hot also" even if the girl looks like a pig, like Mandy in high school, who was about 4' 2" and had calves the size of my entire ribcage. The boys liked her. Why? I don't know. Now they think I'm hot, but in high school, when I wasn't "cool", I was considered ugly.

(By the way, to all you men who didn't think I was hot in high school but then hit on me at parties at quaint little "meetups" in years herafter and hit on me? FUCK YOU .)

 Men can be swayed into believing that just about any woman is beautiful if you create an advertisement that has that woman in it and someone saying she is hot.The fact that it didn't work with SJP just goes to show how hideous she actually is.

By the way, we're not innocent, either, Us women! Ethan Hawke???? Leonardo DiCraprio? Vince Vaughan??? These are not attractive men. The people who told us these men are attractive are the same people who told us Ray Romano, Steve Gutenberg, and Chelsea Handler were funny; people trying to sell you something. Don't buy it. and whatever you do, don't buy 500 dollar shoes.

Currently reading : Mein Kampf By Adolf Hitler

3:07 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

May Crap
Current mood: insubordinate
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hey folks, got some funny stuff this time around. The reason I don't post as much as I used to:



1) I am surprisingly less full of myself than I was a year or two ago



2) I realized that no one wants to read my shit unless something is actually happening. Well, here's what's happening:




- Stacie Ponder (http://finalgirl.blogspot.com) (and roommate) has made a series of short gay (gay as in Lesbian) horror films hosted by a B-grade Elvira who stinks named Ghostella. These shorts were the runner-up on the www.Afterellen.com webseries contest. And.. guess who plays Ghostella?



Check out the first episode of Ghostella's Haunted Tomb: Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear right here, and stay tuned for a new episode every week! with me!!! (okay, maybe a little full of myself). Watch it and tell me how funny I am:

http://www.afterellen.com/blog/sarahwarn/video-ghostellas-haunted-tomb-1



- I've been writing for my Joe Bob Briggs over at his new religious mockery-making site www.thewittenburgdoor.com and want to share with you my two most recent articles:



Ben Steins' movie Expelled: http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/stein-nukes-darwin



A documentary about crap you find The DaVinci Code, Bloodline: http://www.thewittenburgdoor.com/reviews/bloodline-movie



I'll be doing more articles for them as time goes on. I'll send links, don't worry.



- Of course, we've always got cool new shit at Pretty-Scary, where we try to post stuff that has to do with women. Only I often find myself making fun of women. Sigh. More announcements about our new anthology coming soon.



CLASSIFIEDS:



- Joe Bob Briggs needs your help for an article about real life grossout stories from people who worked as line cooks or waiters in restuarants. What's the most disgustuing thing you did to someone's food or saw someone do?



email him at Joebob@Joebobbriggs.com and put "Line Cook Story" in the title so he actually reads it. If your story is gross, he'll use it. The grosser the better. Maggots a plus.



- Celebrity Paranormal expert needed for documentary film about disappearances. Theis expert, unfortunately, needs to be in the Los Angeles area. Any ideas? email me!

11:11 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Spring Forward, yo.
Current mood: working

- I’m now ready to admit that I have a job at a high end politically-minded leftist-y film distribution company. And it rocks.
 
- You can read a recent review of Evil Ever After, directed by Brad Paulson and Chris Watson, at Fearzone. I star in it. It’s just.. well... read the review. http://www.fearzone.com/blog/evil-dvd
 
- Pretty-Scary.net is Site of the Week at AMC’s Monsterfest website. Rockin! Go there to see a little article on my site including an interview with me: http://blogs.amctv.com/monsterfest/2008/03/site-of-the-wee-5.php
 
- Pretty-Scary will Once again be a sponsor of the Shriekfest Film Festival in Los Angeles this Fall, and Proud of it! I’m also a full judge this year, so if you want your film to be eligible for the Pretty/Scary award for outstanding females in horror in front of, or behind the screen, submit your film! This awesome fest is here: www.shriekfest.com
 
- MingleMangle, NYC Mixers for the horror-minded, run by my good friend Susan Adriensen, has started a new group meeting just for women. And Pretty-Scary is sponsoring it! The first one is Wednesday, April 16th at 7:00 pm somewhere in NYC. You must email Susan for details because we don’t want creepy crawler perverts showing up: susan@blueeyedproductions.com. Men are welcome, as long as they support women in horror filmmaking.
 
- For those of you going to Horrorfind in Baltimore in a few weeks, Ningen Manga Productions will premiere the full-length trailer for it’s upcoming feature length film, Women’s Studies, during a panel at Horrorfind Weekend in Adelphi, Maryland on Saturday, March 29 at 12:15 PM. Attendees of the panel will also get a sneak peek at the first eight minutes of the highly anticipated horror drama. Moderated by Jen Tonon of Pretty/Scary.net  the panel will also feature a Q&A with Women’s Studies writer/director Lonnie Martin, producer and lead actor Cindy Marie Martin, actor Tara Garwood, and cinematographer Aaron Shirley. Come on, its a movie about killer feminists. Awesome.

Currently watching : Nazi Propaganda Film: Triumph of the Will (1934) With Adolf Hitler, Hermann Goring, Martin Bormann, Rudolf Hess & Heinrich Himmler

4:03 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

March: Safety First!
Current mood: careful
Category: careful Movies, TV, Celebrities

-  Hey everyone! You can check out a Jessica Alba interview I did in the most recent issue of The City Slab, an awesome horror magazine that I loved so much I decided to write for!

www.cityslab.com

In the next issue I'll have an interview with Clive Barker about his new film Midnight Meat Train from Lionsgate. I'll be at the City Slab Table all weekend at the Fangoria Weekend of Horror in Los Angeles this April. Come by and say hi!

- I'd love to let everyone know that you can now check out the Movies By Women blog and new audio podcasts at www.blog.moviesbywomen.com. Myself, and Tara Veneruso, Stephanie Young, and Lucy Rodriguez-Watson pour our minds and hearts out trying to promote women directors in Hollywood and beyond. The blog has all the news you could ever desire about how you can see films directed by women NOW.

- A new show called The Scream, starring my friend Melissa Bacelar, is on the Internet! You can go to www.thescreamshow.com and see Melissa being funny and hot, and myself conducting interviews on the mean streets of horror events. Can I stress enough that this show is funny? The trailer is up now and the first four full episodes are to be posted soon.

- I am a full judge at the Shriekfest Film festival www.shriekfest.com and yes, we are handing out a Pretty/Scary award again this year. Submit!

- What the fuck is up with IKEA? First of all, it is populated by the most obnoxious-looking model/actor types and fauxhawks and all of the furniture is totally gay and doesn't fit together when you try to assemble it. Seriously, today I tried to assemble two different coffee tables and they both didn't work. One had one leg shorter than the other and the second one had a deformed screw. IKEA also delivered a couch with a crooked shoulder. I called IKEA to explain the problem to them and was placed on hold twice for at least twenty minutes at a time by very rude customer service agents.

I know the furniture is cheap, but all I could think the whole time I was in that fluorescent mega-nightmare that is the Ikea Warehouse is "I could get this couch for 50 bucks at a thrift store". Seriously. If I am going to have to deliver, move, assemble, and install my own furniture made out of plywood and plastic, shouldn't that furniture cost me 50 dollars, not 250 dollars? And by the way, who the fuck would buy frozen meatballs from the IKEA fast food area? sick.

I totally hated Ikea. It may even be worse than Home Depot, which thus far has been the worst place I have ever been.

Currently playing : Kings Quest Collection 1-7 (Windows XP) (CD)

8:45 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Look, I just want to make one thing clear...
Current mood: Hating shallow famous women

- I hate emailing on myspace. Never ever ever email me on myspace. You know why? No attachments, no active links... blech. No signatures. It's just not practical. In fact, it sucks. Never ever email me on here again if you actually want a response other than "Thanks!"

- Another thing (I lied) that I need to make clear is that Diablo Cody sucks and The Oscars are a joke. What it proves is that if you have an agent, you can write any old piece of crap shallow emotionless festival of idiocy and it will get made. You just need an agent. How did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles get made? Agents. How did Bloodrayne II get made? Agents. because if you have agents you have access to the billionaires with money. Not many people know this, but Billionaires are reallllly dumb when it comes to films, and will fund almost anything. Diablo Cody is not an artist. She's a lucky lucky dumpy ex-stripper who dumped her starter husband the minute she got famous so she could blow Edgar Right. At least blow Eli Roth or someone sexy. Anyway, I know so many people (not myself) who are much better writers than her who will never get a chance. Maybe they should strip and rub their tits on strangers backs too. Hey, it worked for Diablow. Though to hear her talk about it in her book Candy Girl you'd think she was a Harvard professor doing a social experiment. Nah, she was just a dumpy girl looking for attention with a loser husband who couldn't make any money. Never mind, I would have dumped him too. Any man that actually encourages his WIFE to strip so they can buy bologna for breakfast is a real fucking piece of cowardly, lazy, classless work.

- So sorry i watched the Oscars.

- hey, does anyone know what all the different kinds of BBQ all over the South are? Like, I know in some places it's beef and some places it's pork, and some places there's just vinegar and crap on the meat, and they throw coleslaw on it and stuff and shove it between a burger bun. UGH. But does anyone know the major BBQ divisions geographically? Is there a website or a map?

- You know what I hate (and this goes back to Diablo) people who LOOOVE other people because they're famous. But they can be irritating, or shallow, or not that smart, and because they are famous people looooooove them and kiss their ass when they meet them. I can't fucking stand that. I've always said it; you can put red lipstick on almost any woman, stick her on a billboard, and suddenly a ton of men who never noticed her before will want to fuck her.

That's why I want to be on a billboard.

Currently reading : The Rise and Fall of the Thrid Reich. By WILLIAM: SHIRER Release date: 1990

10:29 AM - 11 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

For those of you about to go to Sundance, I salute you...
Current mood: blustery
Category: Parties and Nightlife

This year's Sundance Film Festival , Jan 17-27th, has a few interesting genre films by some of the most unexpected female directors. For instance, Kirsten Dunst directed a short film about a haunted house, and several women made futuristic films about space travel and apocalyptic conditions.

Sundance has hundreds of films, so we sorted out the genre pieces by women you ought to be looking out for...

Drift - By director Kelly Sears. Using animation and live-action, Sears's short sci-fi film about a mysterious disappearance on a 1960s space journey features psychedelic rock, wayward space transmission, the space race, high hopes, failed dreams, and bodily levitation all coming together.  Link

Fears of the Dark - Director Marie Caillou presents a segment in this feature-length animated and strange collection of horror stories that come from the artists' own phobias, so you can trust you'll get a loving exploration into the surreal atmosphere of your creepiest dreams. Link

Funeral - Sara St. Onge's short about a woman obsessed with death who meticulously plans her own funeral. Link

Green Porno - not horror, but comedy, this short about the sex lives of dragonflies, fireflies, and other insects, comes from genre vet Isabella Rossellini (Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, Death Becomes Her). Link

Half-Life - Jennifer Phang's feature-length supernormal tale about self-absorbed and disillusioned suburbanites who live in a futuristic time of natural disasters, suffocating air quality, and accelerating global cataclysms. Link

La Corona (the Crown) - Female murderers compete ferociously for a beauty crown in prison in this short by Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega. Link

Mermaid - Anna Melikyan's modern-day fairy tale set in Moscow. Surreal and weird. Link

Object - Leslie Ali's short  film about a hunter who is struck by a flying object as it falls to Earth, setting off a chain reaction that reveals humanity's stupidity and greed. Link

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired - A documentary by Marina Zenovich about the director of The Tenant, Rosemary's Baby, and The Fearless Vampire Hunters. Link

Welcome Home - Kirsten Dunst premieres her directorial debut about a family who moves into a house with a ghost. Link

Slamdance, which takes place in Park City, Utah directly opposite Sundace, Jan 17-25th, features a ton of films and panels. We've sorted out the women-directed genre films you ought to be checking out if you're headed down that way...

Bloody, strange, and charming, I Hate You Don't Touch Me or Bat and Hat is a short animated flick by Becky James. Link

Lady Margaret, by Deborah Haywood, a short British film, is about teenagers who drive into the woods to "look for the ghost of Lady Margaret." Link

Lucky Day is a tense black comedy about a woman getting prank phone calls by Lori Chodos. Link

Women to watch at Tromadance '08

Tromadance, the anti-Sundance and anti-Slamdance festival run by the good people at Troma, offers up some fun treats by women for your viewing pleasure...

Theresa Bennett co-directs a documentary about three indie filmmakers who take it upon themselves to self-distribute their gratuitous flicks in Indie.

Valerie Reid has a weird pseudo-documentary into the look of an artist with Sand Dancer.

Karen Black directs a short film called Help about the nature of acting and self-awareness.

Currently reading : At the Dawn of Modernity: Biology, Culture, and Material Life in Europe after the Year 1000.(Book Review): An article from: Canadian Journal of History By Judith Friedman Release date: 31 July, 2005

3:19 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy New Year’s Eve (il) ((sorry))
Current mood: pugnacious

- Sorry I haven't posted since October. There's been nothing new!


- Except the following things.


- I completed my scenes for the horror/western A Fistful of Brains (coming out through Brain Damage Films in 2008) directed by Christine Parker. You can check out the official website at www.fistfulofbrains.com or www.myspace.com/fistfulofbrains . My character is Daisy, the saloon whore.



- Pretty-Scary.net is joining forces with fearwerx.com, and as of Feb 14 2008, They'll be handling a Pretty-Scary store on our site. We'll be selling horror merchandise we think our members would enjoy, as well as Pretty/Scary brand merchandise they'll be developing. !



- Speaking of stuff we'll be selling, Pretty-Scary is putting out a horror fiction anthology sometime around June 2008. It will feature stories in the horror/dark fiction genre written and illustrated by women only. Submission deadline is Dec 30th, if you have a story you'd like to submit. Yeah it pays.



- I had a birthday. Check out this picture of Staci Layne Wilson and Myself celebrating:

Currently playing : World Of Warcraft Burning Crusade Collector’s Edition Release date: 16 January, 2007

4:06 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Festival Screenings!
Current mood: exanimate
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

- My short film www.wretched.com is screening this weekend on Oct 6th in Los Angeles at the Shriekfest Film Festival www.shriekfest.com at 3:00pm. If you're around, please come check it out.


It is also screening in Chicago as part of the Chicago Horror Film festival on October 7th at 7:30 PM www.chicagohorrorfest.com.



There will be a screening of several short films on October 27th in New York, along with Wretched. I'll be sending out more information on that later in the month.



You can also read the newest review of my film at http://www.fatally-yours.com/horror-reviews/wretched/



- My website www.pretty-scary.net is an official Sponsor of Shriekfest and we'll be handing out the Pretty/Scary award to the film that best represents women in horror, either from behind the screen of in front of it.


- Pretty/Scary has also just recently undergone a restalyne-and-botox facelift with a new server and new software, and we'll be having some cool interviews this month. Upcoming are articles on the new vagina dentata film TEETH, as well as interviews with Illeana Douglas, Elvira, and studio executive Chela Johnson from Lionsgate. The SCREAM awards and the Eyegores (presented by Universal)are coming up as well, so don't forget we'll be covering those. We've also got some live coverage of the Miss Horrorfest contest coming your way next week (including my simply awful audition).


To recieve the Pretty/Scary newsletter, which is a monthly letter about current events concerning women in the horror industry, you can create an account on www.pretty-scary.net by registering. To subscribe to the newsletter, you need to go to Your Account and click on the Your Info icon and make sure that "receive newsletters" option is clicked. So, bye bye to our Yahoo Group's newsletter. It's Just That Simple!


- Tonight, at 7 PM Pacific Time, I have a radio interview with Becky Ray and Laura Moon of Darker Side of the Moon Radio http://darkersideradio.com. Tune in to the website to hear it! We'll be talking about stuff and things, I bet!


- I was recently interviewed by Shane from www.indieexpress.com for his podcast about filmmakers. My co-directer, Leslie Delano, joined me. Our interview should be up soon and will be posted with the next newsletter. Like I am sure you cared.


- Listen, any chicks!!! Please submit your film screenings, convention appearances, book signings, release dates for books and DVD;s, etc., to the Pretty-Scary calendar so we know when you're doing stuff and can report on it. Here's the link:
http://www.pretty-scary.net/modules.php?name=GCalendar&file=submit&y=2007&m=10


Please, chicks and chick-related info only. Like you haven't heard THAT before.


- All I have to say is that Britney Spears is not fat. Anyone who says she is just saying that because they head it somewhere else. Think of all the chicks you know. Now think of Britney. Now realize that Britney (unless you live in Los Angeles) is still so much hotter than any chick you know.

6:47 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

And so August does make hypocrites of us all (especially Rob Zombie)
Current mood: determined

I just returned from Vegas, baby, where I was in a film entitled The Cuckoo Clocks of Hell, written and directed by Ron Atkins. An unofficial sequel/spin off of Roger Watkins' Last House on Dead End Street, Cuckoo Clocks is definitely one of the strangest films I have ever been in. Jim Van Bebber plays Terry Hawkins, the role Roger Watkins played himself in the original film. I, as usual, was brilliant in the dual role of Janet/Jane. I play both the killer's victim AND his mother in flashback sequences.

You can check out some of Ron's other films at http://www.cutthroatvideo.com while we wait for this present masterpiece to be done. They're still shooting scenes as we (I) speak, in the Vegas heat, so let's hope this film turns out as crazy good as we're hoping, for Roger's sake. Roger Watkins is no longer with us, so hopefully he won't turn in his grave.

- My short horror film WRETCHED has been accepted into the Chicago Horror Film Fest. You can check out the film's site here: www.wretchedfilm.com

So far, here is what people have said about my movie:

"It's a disturbing portrait of a serious subject. Bloody in the best sense of the word. The acting was excellent. Joe Bob Briggs is terrific. It's really a different kind of horror."
- Don Coscarelli (director of Beastmaster and Phantasm)

"Extraordinarily well written, Wretched is a cerebral treat for fans of quirky dialogue and unique storytelling. Intelligent viewers looking for something different won't want to miss it." - Art Ettinger, Ultra Violent Magazine

OH! It was also rejected from Fantastic Fest in Austin.

- On www.pretty-scary.net you can read an interview with Natassia Melthe from Skinwalkers and Bloodrayne 2: http://www.pretty-scary.net/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=963&mode=thread&order=1&thold=-1

thanks to newly relocated and enterprising writer Stacie Ponder (www.finalgirl.blogspot.com who I can sucker into attending press days for me,

And check out my interview with sexy Scary Stud of the Month Adam Green (director of Hatchet) : http://www.pretty-scary.net/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=955&mode=thread&order=1&thold=-1

And my Julie Delpy interview which gets the scoop on the upcoming horror film The Countess, which Delpy stars in and directs: http://www.pretty-scary.net/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=965&mode=thread&order=1&thold=-1


- So, been desirous of a rash of news articles that blow the lid off the TRUTH about women directors? Neither have I. But here they are. Here is an article about female directors from CNN.com called Chicks directing flicks. The strange, odd, freaky, and frightening phenomenon of females directing films is discussed at length. mentioned are Sophia Coppola, Kathryn Bigelow, and Sarah Polley. Read the article here. Yahoo News also has an article about female directors, mentioning horror directrices Julie Delpy, Jane Campion, Sofia Coppola, and Kathryn Bigelow. Check that out here. Man, thee are more, too! Here's one that waxes political, from The Huffington Post, about what the fuck Republicans are going to do to even the odds against women, for example, in Hollywood. And don't forget the one from August 1st at Forbes.com, and one from something called The Walrus Magazine from Canadia.

Meanwhile, in the real world, directors Devi Snively (Confederate Zombie Massacre) and Annette Ashlie Slomka (The Secret Life of Sarah Sheldon) both wrapped shooting on short horror films this past week. Devi's short horror/comedy Death In Charge was made through funding from the AFI, and Annette's secret-agent/zombie toxin-infused Dead Run was a teaser that will hopefully garner funding for a feature-length version. Congrats girls!

- This is my favorite thing ever. Rob Zombie, as you know, directed the remake of Halloween, out this Sept 10th. My dearest smart fabu friend Stacie Ponder (once again making an appearance in my newsletter) pointed out a hypocritical and loserly quote from ol' Rob in an interview in issue 3 of Are You Going? magazine, 2002.

Check out the blog post here:
http://finalgirl.blogspot.com/2007/08/dont-quote-me.html to see what he was quoted as saying about remakes, and why he looks like a retard now. Sorry Rob, but Stacie caught you.

"You can sound like The Beatles, but you can't be The Beatles". That's, like, as good as hypocrisy gets.

- Happy Birthday to Staci Layne Wilson, who turns 21 this upcoming week. Check out Staci's writing at www.horror.about.com and at www.horror.com, or her awesome blog at www.myspace.com/staciwilson. You'd never guess how young she is by her writing. Go stop by and say hi to her, she's a really important horror person, the kind whose ass you should be kissing.

- So how many fucking people are named Staci/Stacy/Stacie or whatever? Just two, baby. Just two.

Currently reading : Into the Land of the Unicorns (The Unicorn Chronicles, Book 1) By Bruce Coville Release date: 01 November, 1999

3:01 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Man, Journalists SUCK
Current mood: constipated

- Well, in the past month I have been interviewed three times for articles regarding women in horror and have not been quoted. One was a Newsweek article, one was an online Scottish Journal article written by Adele Hartley, who runs the Dead By Dawn Film Fest in Edinburgh, Scotland, and a third was by someone none of you would ever have heard of. I see my colleagues get quoted, mostly as saying "Eli Roth is a misogynist pig" or "Women's roles have changed now in horror" all which I think is bullshit. Which is why I am not saying it. Which is why I am probably not getting quoted. Either that or I am a terrible interview, which I am not ruling out.

I think women have always played strong and weak characters in horror (look at Dracula's Daughter, Bride of Frankenstein, Black Christmas (1974), Halloween, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (both original and remake), Friday the 13th Part II, A Nightmare on Elm Street, etc. and tell me that all the roles for women SUCK and that all the men have great parts. You can't, cause its not true). Sure, there are tons of horror films where women are stupid mindless naked idiots, but usually the men are also stupid and mindless in these films as well. Eli Roth is not a bad filmmaker because he writes really retarded female characters, (which he does), but because he's a mediocre filmmaker who is more interested in pretending to be famous than doing what it  takes to become famous.

So I guess the reason I am not getting quoted about women in horror in news articles (Even though I am getting interviewed) is because I don't think horror is sexist. I think that people who interview me for these articles are also hoping that Pretty-Scary.net is about "feminism in horror", which it is not. It's just a site about women in horror. I don't think I even need to have a good reason why I want to run a website dedicated to women in horror; I just do. It makes me angry that people think I oughtta have a feminist agenda or something or be offended by the way women are portrayed in Eli Roth's movies.

I'm not saying I am not a feminist; I just love freedom of speech more than I love anything else and if Eli Roth or anyone wants to make a movie about naked stupid women being mutilated, I say more power to them. This goes for all forms of freedom of speech, including the outspoken views of hippies, conservationists, fascists, Nazis, racists, and sexists. I applaud you all. I probably don't like you very much, but I'm willing to put up with your views so that I can have my own, which are quite possibly equally offensive to others in their own way. I don't really care, This is America (sorry, anyone reading this who is unlucky enough to not have Freedom of Speech) and I want to be able to make any kind of movie I want. If you don't like Eli Roth's movies, don't go see them (it looks like no one is seeing them anyway, according to the box office) but don't make this an issue of feminism or political correctness. Make it about what it is: shitty filmmaking.  I am surprised that everyone is so upset at Roth's stupid posters of Bijou Phillips holding her own head, but no one cared that Cameron Diaz plays a nearly-retarded, emotionally immature and terribly unappealing vision of modern American women in their 30's in that stupid Jack Black movie "The Holiday". Why did no one get mad at that? 'Cause she wasn't naked? Isn't it stupid to have a movie with Cameron Diaz in it where she doesn't get naked? Isn't the only thing Cameron Diaz can bring to a film is her beauty? She can't fucking act, that's for sure. Which is why I'll never understand why the casting agent of the SHREK films didn't get fired for hiring the least talented actress in Hollywood to do a voice-over role.

Anyway, I like attention, so if you interview me, quote me, dammit.

- Fuck You Paris Hilton.

- I'd like to know why Lindsay Lohan is so stupid. Lindsay, Drink at HOME. Call your boyfriend, order in some Chinese, rent a film on OnDemand, and get wasted at home. For fuck's sake.

- Rue Morgue Magazine was nice enough to discuss "women in horror" in the June issue, in their editorial introduction by Jovanka. She mentions Pretty/Scary and describes it accurately; "a website for women in horror by women in horror".  Thanks Jovanka! You're aces.

- Pretty/Scary is on the 2007 Spike TV Scream Awards nomination committee again this year. I can vote for you. Be nice to me.

- I'm shooting "Cuckoo Clocks from Hell" with director Ron Atkins this August, and "Fistful of Brains" with director Christine Parker this summer as well. I'm playing a character in a Justin Ritter (Katiebird: Certifiable Crazy Person) film as well.

- Oh, I moved. I hate boxes, and I hate how hot it is. I hate everything. I have a headache and I have to go to the gym. Moving is difficult, and I hate to sound racist but,

Why is is that everyone with an accent who has been involved in my move has tried to fuck me over financially? Or is it just that the American people are so subtle when they try to fuck me over that I only actually notice it when people from other countries do it? I'm still really tired of people not speaking English in this nation. The next time someone can't give me my correct Subway order because they don't know English, I want them to at least apologize and admit that that they ought to know the language.

I don't think that's racist. I think that's just the truth.

- Chicago Massacre, the Richard Speck story, out on video June 27th, SUCKS. Don't waste your time. I love you, Corin Nemec, but your movie is horrible. No blood, no gore, no nudity. It's everything Eli Roth's films aren't, and YET, I'll bet none of those people writing hateful feminist articles will see it either.

- My short film WRETCHED, starring Joe Bob Briggs and Jaime Andrews, is done. I am thinking about seeing if I can premiere it this September at Shriekfest Film Fest (don't know how that'll work, since I am a finalist judge. hm). Special blood FX are done by Gregory Nicotero, and post is done by Dave Becker (he cut the Hostel II trailers). It's much better that I thought it would be. Doesn't mean you'll like it, but I hope you will.

 

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