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Friday, April 18, 2008
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Submissions Closed - On the Brighter Side
Since we've opened submissions a couple of months ago, we've been inundated with submissions and have received 450+ in two months. It's a great start on what we hope will be an amazing venture for us, our authors, and our readers, but on the other hand we've nearly filled all the available slots for all our 2008 issues. As of Sunday, April 20, 2008, we're closed for submissions. Don't be sad! We're reopening submissions on August 15, 2008 for the first six issues of 2009! Get to work and get those submissions polished! Take care! We can't wait to see you back here for the unveiling in July! Regards, Susan and Gregg
4:11 PM
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Thursday, March 13, 2008
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People who really make a difference...
I found out a couple of days ago that my old english teacher, Mrs. Baker, had been having some health problems. Her home health care nurse happens to be my cousin. It was passed along to me that the first words out of her mouth were, "How’s Susie doing?"
This made me happy. I haven’t seen or heard from her in 20 years, but I think about her often. She was one woman who really opened my eyes to literature. I love her dearly. And I get to talk to her on the phone next Monday at 10:30.
I can’t help but smile. And there’s no way I’d ever be able to repay her for the difference she made in my life, so I’ll end this with a simple, "Thank you, Mrs. Baker."
8:33 AM
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Monday, March 10, 2008
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The Word For The Day Is...
Sycophant! Yay for all the assholes (both leaders and followers) on the internetz!
4:16 PM
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2 Comments - 2 Kudos
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Sunday, March 02, 2008
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My Life...
I long for the days of yore. I wish I was as skinny as I was when I bitched about being fat.
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Travelocity can suck my ass. Northwest Airlines, however, can take a long, loving look at it for as long as they want.
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I love The West Wing. It's great television, and I can't believe I missed it.
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We watched 30 Days of Night last night, and it kicked SO MUCH ASS. If you can watch it in high def, please do so now. My two favorite parts: the blood-stained snow and the scene where a guy gets his head hacked off at the very end. Not to be confused with the scene before that where a guy gets his head hacked off right before the end.
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Cablevision sucks. They have a little credit card that you have to insert in the front of the cable box. This card can easily be removed by little girlie hands and lost just as easily. We play an hourly game in our house, "Find the cable box card. Mommy, you'll never believe where I stuck it this time..."
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Ever had those kinds of days where you looked like 20 miles of bad road's third cousin, 50 miles of unpaved dirt road with washboard and deep storm ditches on either side?
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I love reading submissions. The Good, The Bad, and The SO FUCKING Bad You Want To Rip Your Eyeballs Out Of Your Head And Scour Your Brain With Bon Ami While Wishing You Could Get That Ten Minutes Back For Anything Other Than What The Writer Just Put You Through.
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***SPOILER ALERT*** Alli and a big breakfast is not a good idea. You should think your food choices through and be forewarned of the phenomena of Oily Discharge. That's the nice way of putting it. The brochure should read, "You Might Have Bright Orange Oily Junk Shoot Out Of Your Ass At Mach Three." I hope I didn't ruin it for you!
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The girl-child just pulled the cable box card out and is now chewing on it. Again. At least this time, she didn't hide it. Uh-oh. Don't see it anymore...
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The girl-child will be a year-old next month. What happened to this first year of endless feedings, constant care, and never-ending diaper changes? Oh yeah. I remember.
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Did you know a Pampers wet wipe will clean most anything out of white carpet? Especially a chocolate chip ground down into the weave?
I think that's it for now. Aren't you relieved?
:)
Susan
7:13 AM
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2 Comments - 2 Kudos
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008
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Holee Shit
Current mood: disgusted
This makes me sick. A service designed to help writers stay away from people like this is now suing this very service. Fucking leeches.
"There are two libel lawsuits against Dave and P&E, one from Baraba Bauer for putting her on the 20 Worst Agents list and the other from a PublishAmerica lawyer because Dave filed a formal complaint with the bar when the lawyer harassed a woman who was speaking out against PA.
Dave is humbly asking for donations to help defend himself and the site.
I posted a blog with more details and links (http://michelelee.blogspot.com) and would appreciate it if you all would pass the information on."
This is posted on TODP. Publish America is now in the same league as the Scientologists. Disgusting.
3:44 PM
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1 Comments - 2 Kudos
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Sunday, February 17, 2008
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New Humor Webzine
Gregg Winkler (ninefingers) and I have launched a new humor webzine: www.othebs.com. Please bear with us while it's under construction (that's the nice way of saying we suck at HTML).
Below are the submission guidelines:
We're looking for humorous essays and short stories, even if it has a horrific edge, a science fiction angle, or a romantic sensibility to it. We don't care. Anything goes! If you can make us laugh, we'll pay you for it. If you can't do that, then you don't need to submit to us. You probably need to just go back to your day job and fantasize about being a humor writer. Make us laugh, but don't make us laugh at you. In order to submit to us, you must first sign up for a free subscription. You'll want to read it if you get accepted, won't you? We will check to see if you did, so no monkey business! Please submit stories as a .doc attachment in 12-pt. Times New Roman or any other acceptable font (except Courier…one of our editors hates it). Our editors have enough on their plate so use common sense when submitting. Please include a cover letter with your publishing credits, a valid email where we can reach you, and a name. Names are helpful. We need to know who to reject and to whom we should send the check. If you don't follow these guidelines in a courteous and professional manner, your manuscript will be rejected and quite possibly ridiculed. Both simultaneous and multiple submissions will be welcome, just let us know in your cover letter that the essay/short story is being considered elsewhere. If you do decide to submit multiple essays/short stories, please pick no more than five of your favorites and send them in one email. Don't deluge us with everything on your hard drive. If you do that, we'll have to write a parody about you. And believe us, you don't want that. We are primarily looking for original works. Feel free to submit reprints, but don't be surprised if we don't pay you as much. Stories should be anywhere from 50-2000 words. We're firm on this, so don't ask us to reconsider. Depending on what you tell us in your cover letter, we'll be paying you anywhere from $.03 to $.05 per word. Please submit stories to susie (at) othebs (dot) com or gregg (at) othebs (dot) com. Remember, anything goes. We even think death can be funny sometimes. We looking forward to reading your submissions. ~The Editors at O. the B.S.
We look forward to hearing from you!
~Susan
1:00 PM
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Friday, February 08, 2008
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First Rejection of the Year
Cemetery Dance has rejected my story, but I received a nice, personlized rejection. That counts for something.
Try, try again.
:D
7:17 AM
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3 Comments - 2 Kudos
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Thursday, February 07, 2008
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Please Don’t Do This...
In a manuscript, please don't use the term "audible."
Such as "audible gasp" or "audible breath." It's retarded sounding, and makes me want to guzzle vodka.
7:25 AM
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5 Comments - 6 Kudos
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Friday, February 01, 2008
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Open Letter to MS. TALLMAN
Current mood: annoyed
Dear Ms. TALLMAN,
It's gotten so ridiculous over at that site that its like watching elementary children bullying one of the smaller kids on the playground. I've been called a drunk, insinuated that I'm a lesbian which if you are one well that's cool by me because that's your life choice, I've been threatened by one that they are going to contact my events I'm slotted for and try to get me banned by saying I'm delusional and crazy and so many more hurtful things from people who don't even know me. You have to question why people can be like this and how it is they can look themselves in the mirror everyday and feel good about the person they are. You have to wonder how their parents brought them up or if they were raised by a pack of rabid wolves. They've made fun of my life - my husband and the things that have happened in my life including stating that I seek the sympathy of my fans with my daughter's death and I'll tell you all something - there's not a day that doesn't go by that I don't hurt inside in losing my daughter. Walk a mile in my shoes and then see what it would feel like if I made fun of you for the loss you suffered. It really fucking hurts to lose your child. Show me where: 1) We've called you a lesbian. 2) Someone has said they are going to contact your events and try to get you banned. 3) Someone has made fun of your daughter's death. First things first. We compare you to Nick Pacione because you write like him. Also, we might have said you were delusional and crazy because your online antics prove that you are. One more thing, I can't imagine losing my child, but I also can't imagine that anyone here would make fun of that. No one here has done that, yet you keep bringing it up. Keep going at the rate you're going, and you're going to dig yourself a hole. Yes, many of the folks here are professional writers. In my many years of observation, it's only the self-published ones seem who to flip off everyone else in the industry. I haven't even covered the entire gas-bag blog of yours and I don't have the time or energy to do so. So I have four words for you: Grow the fuck up. Regards, Susan Taylor Owner and Administrator of TODP
6:50 AM
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3 Comments - 4 Kudos
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Monday, January 28, 2008
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The World Is Chock Full O’ Entitlement
What is with people nowadays? It seems that between the children of this generation and the world of self-publishing (I know those two things are as comparative as apples and dirty diapers), both have a huge sense of entitlement.
The ME Generation (this is what I'll call it for now) seems to want everything NOW whether it's a car, a PS3, or a job without having to work toward it.
It's the same with the publishing world. Writers far and wide want their kudos NOW. If no traditional publishers will take them, they turn to the seedy, underbelly of publishing: self-publishing. Hey, I know! Why don't you work harder, improve, and try to do it the right way rather than give up. And when I say give up, I mean LULU.COM. Those mean old publishers! What do they know anyway? Besides, you as the writer know the merits of your own artistic endeavors even though you can't get those terrible editors to get it.
It's like jerking off in the bathroom at Olive Garden because you can't wait to get home.
Un-fucking-believable.
9:48 PM
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14 Comments - 10 Kudos
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