The Svelte Home-Handy-Band Series: Top Band Tips From The World’s Most Glamorous Woman

Warning, Content May Offend..
Article here>>>

7:33 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Briefly: Local Band Back To 592 Myspace Friends

Article here>>>

9:57 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Local Band Hit 601 Myspace Friends

Article here>>>

9:55 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Band Forced By New Zealand On Air To Video Bits Of Cardboard

AUCKLAND – Luckless local lads, Svelte, have announced a concept for their first video - but nobody is celebrating. The band had hoped to be cruising Auckland's urban landscape in a groovy surf car, finally ending up at a Grey Lynn villa to party with local actors, models and music stars - basically a beavy of beauties.

"We've been planning this video all our lives, since we were little boys" said a despondent Tim Stewart (Svelte's lead-singer). "Jamie used to chat up his dog when he was younger and Ben would draw a perm on his pillow and pretend he was kissing Sandra Kerns (Charles In Charge) at video wrap parties... but New Zealand On Air (NZOA) have crushed all those dreams".

According to Svelte's enigmatic guitarist, Ben Sciascia, the band will have to make do with filming bits of cardboard. "After a whole year of trying to get a video grant from NZOA (see Unknown Local Band Reportedly "Pissed" At Missing Out On Funding (Again)), I was forced to use the old noggin, I really had to put my thinking cap on and come up with a video concept that would cost next to nothing... because thats all we have, nothing".

"Jamie had some cardboard in his garage and I'd just purchased a new Digital SLR, you know the one with the 18-90mm 35mm equivalent zoom lens? Anyway, we decided to paint the cardboard and film it moving around frame by frame. Conceptually speaking, we hope it will look similar to Radiohead's "Street Spirit" but shot on carpet using bits of cardboard... and no slow motion" Ben concludes.

No one is looking forward to seeing this video and no one cares if it's ever released. New Zealand On Air refused to comment and this reporter has had a guts full of writing fictitious crap for dead-beat websites (in my office right now please Jill – ED). Source=Etlevs
Source=Etlevs

Svelte's website

9:47 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Local Band Set To Update Bass-Drum Logo

AUCKLAND – Local lads, Svelte, are hoping a new bass-drum logo will change everything, but can a new logo really take a band to the top? We talk to brand-solutions guru, Miles Niles about turning your band into a brand. Miles Niles is a vision guidance leader for dynamic brand-solutions agency Puff. "When one of our marketing gurus or design experts has an idea, the rest of us look at him or her with serious expressions and write stuff down." says Miles Niles.

Miles Niles has recently turned his attention to Music and more specifically, our lovable local lads, Svelte. "These guys don't really fit into any kind of Global Awareness Paradigms or Market Consciousness Philosophies. They've lost there way a bit." he says.

Despite the depressing brand issues, the band hope to 'dig deep' and relaunch a new bass drum-logo to coincide with their debut single in March. "Yeah, every time I catch a glimpse of our current logo on stage, I just don't feel right... I start worrying about our internal brand culture, are we even happy?" says Svelte's lead singer Tim Stewart.

"But we're not only changing our logo, we're creating a vision statement and a single minded proposition - we're really fired up!" says drummer Jamie Woolright.

Meanwhile, 'The Big Four' record companies have reacted favourably to Svelte's draft vision statement and strategic framework:

'Svelte: In our chosen markets, we are the leader in client satisfaction, professionalism, superior quality and innovation that adds value to our working partnerships with our clients - consistently exceeding expectations with a superior understanding of client needs and the environment in which our clients operate.' Source=Etlevs

Svelte's website

8:09 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Band Tired Of Updating Web-News

AUCKLAND - (Where the hell is this story? - ED).
Source=Routers

Svelte's website.

1:06 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Svelte To Help Other Bands Keep Black T-Shirts Neatly Folded

AUCKLAND–Local band Svelte have announced a new initiative designed to help emerging artists. The new Svelte Handy Band Series features hints and tips gained over many years in the business.

Together, the three members of Svelte have a combined musical experience of 47 years which is a lot according to Svelte's drummer, Jamie Woolright. "Yeah, thats more experience than years I've been alive, I'm not even sure how that works".

The Svelte Handy Band Series has officially launched today and offers tips covering a wide range of subjects such as, band bonding, cooking on the road and how to pack your black T-shirts properly. "New Zealand music is maturing and the time is right for this kind of digital hints portfolio" Jamie notes.

The Handy Band Series can be found on Svelte's website here.
Source=Etlevs

11:07 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Svelte Now On iTunes

AUCKLAND – Local lads, Svelte, have cemented their worldwide distribution plans with 4 songs on the New Zealand iTunes music store (free download). "We want to be part of the global digital music phenomenon like everyone else" said Svelte's IT Manager, Bernard Manning. "I like to keep the guys up to date so they don't miss out on anything... I mean, you'll be able to have sex with robots soon".

Click here to view the Svelte page on the iTunes music store - requires iTunes which is available free here.

View the Svelte site>>

10:59 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Svelte Fans Yearn For A Music Safety Recall

AUCKLAND .. Rumour sites are buzzing with regard to an "IMPORTANT SAFETY RECALL" seen on Svelte's website. Rumours claim that the New Zealand band is gearing up for a product recall, despite having never released any products.

We spoke to Patricia Wright of the SSC (Svelte Street Cats) who is desperate to comply with the safety recall, but has no CD to return. "Svelte fans are so inclusive, we'd love to participate in a safety recall" said Patricia longingly. "Celine's fan base had plenty of drama to cope with a couple of years ago... oh I dream of something like that for us".

In 2005, Celine Dion fans had cause for celebration. SonyBMG's CD copy-restriction software masked itself using techniques employed by hackers and allowed several pieces of malicious software to "piggyback" onto fans PC's. This left the computers vulnerable to outside terror attacks. "We hope to provide a digital music fiasco on a similar scale" said Svelte's IT Manager, Bernard Manning. "In fact, I'll stake my reputation on the fact we can match or better the big boys".

But fans will have to wait until the release of Svelte's debut 6-track EP in February 2007. At that time, they'll know for sure if they're caught up in a scandalous, digital-rights fiasco of their very own. Source=Etlevs

More info here >>

10:56 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Svelte Featured on AMPed New Music Weekly Podcast

Svelte's track 'Cat's Paw' has been doing the rounds amongst various Podcasts recently. The latest Podcast to include the track has been AMPed New Music Weekly - The Official Podcast of the Association of Music Podcasting.

"We think it's choice" said Svelte's drummer, Jamie Woolright early Wednesday morning. "Normally when Ben wakes me up with band news, I raise one eyebrow, fart and go back to sleep. This morning I jumped out of bed, cleaned my teeth twice and went straight to work"

More info here >>

3:02 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment