I am really not a blogger but...

..> ..> ..>..>

I am really not a blogger but...

Just wanted to say... with all the craziness that has been in my life as of late... I had an amazing birthday and got to celebrate it with the a few of the most amazing people in my life!!! Unfortunately I couldn't hang with my brother or my mother cause our schedules are so different.. but I did get to see them!!! My boyfriend came down from upstate!!! SCORE!!!! My Girl Isabel came out for dinner!! SCORE!!! and My Girl Maureen got to chill while we all ate at her restaurant!!! SCORE!!! I decided to go all out on my mattress for my bed and even though it cost me a little over a grand I will be sleeping heavenly!!! DOUBLE SCORE!!!! My next big purchase will be a computer... a lovely birthday gift to myself!!! I move July 1st into my very own place.. Its a lil scary but I am soooo excited!!! Oh last but not least...  I suck cause I am back to smoking!!!!   SO NOT SCORE!!!!!! Kisses to All!!

10:58 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Day 1 and a Quick Update...
Category: Blogging

Today is day 1 of the patch... and all I want is a cigarette!!!!  It to shall pass i guess...

my life as of late

I met an amazing person who I am more than happy, proud and filled with joy to call my boyfriend..  never in my life or in my past relationships have I felt this way about someone..  we just clicked in a way like a long lost puzzle... everyday I am filled with more and more happiness... I know I may sound a little gay, but i am really truly happy!!!

My other main objective has been getting myself in the best shape possible, I go to the gym religiously and hired a personal trainer 2 days a week... so far I have dropped 25 lbs and 2 1/2 inches, I only started in late November, but I feel amazing!!!

My newest goal is to quit smoking, its only been 1 day, and its been a hard day..  I've been smoking for 15 years and finally realise that all the time I am spending at the gym to get the outside of my body in shape the inside is the part that is really suffering..  so cheers to day 2 tomorrow!!!

Oh, and my boyfriend is AWESUM!!!!

10:12 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

The Nasty Thing On My Bathroom Wall....
Current mood: nauseated

I think I will have nightmares for a long time now!!!!   Thanks to my brother that thing is now very DEAD!!!!

6:28 PM - 3 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Will There Ever Be Sun Behind Those Big Black Clouds????
Current mood: grumpy

After being out of work since August, I am so thankful to be returning back this Monday... It seems like my whole  life  is full of Rain with out sunshine..

I just came back from vacation with one of my best friends, we took a cruise out of Miami...(how can something like that go wrong) This was my 3rd  cruise and his 1st... Our destination was Jamaica and Grand Caymen, right when we got to the dock  yard they told us we would be re-routed to Bahamas..  (how bad can that be) The first  port was Nasssau, beautiful... Chris and I went jet-sking had a blast!!!!  We also met these awesome  people that  we hung out with the whole trip... Leah and Paul!!!! thanks for making our trip more memorible!!!!   The 2nd port was Freeport, since I am from NY, Freeport was like Newark NJ with palm trees...   so industial, so bad!!!!!  We later learned that we were docked there so that Carnival could fix the boat for the next cruise departing when we arrived back into Miami...   Soooooo  Fucked Up!!!!  Chris and I made the best out of our vacation either way...  Many people on board were livid  and nasty and down right pissed, I  guess  thats what brought more and more people together...

We arrive back in Miami with 5 hours to kill in the airport, would have loved to extend our trip and stay an additional night in  south beach, but the  price was 200 per person to change  the flight, a little too much for me to dish out..  We just ended up passing out for 2 hours in a chair while we waited for our flight...

Last night,  not even 24 hours back to reality, my Mom was  at work and had a 600lb filing  cabinet fall on her and pin her for 45 minutes in the dark screaming, she was very lucky she was not crushed!!!! She escaped with lots of bruises and a very bad headache... When she got home, I ran to pick up  my brother from work, dropped him at home and ran to the bank, on my way I got into a car accident and totaled my car. It wasn't my fault and the 80 year old man who was driving the other car said it was 100% his fault...   It turns out he has been my grandmothers neighbor for the past 40 plus years... He plans to repair my car and keep it out of the insurnace peoples hands, so neither of us gets higher rates...

This year has definately not been mine or my familys year, when it rains it pours, and I would just like a bit of sunshine through those clouds... In a nutshell, for those  who don't know me this has been the year from hell and I can't wait for the the end of this year to come...

I am going to see TooL tonight and hopefully that will not end disasterous!!!

Thats it for now...

1:40 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Fival
Current mood: sad

After 16 long and  great years, our beloved  Fival has passed away...   My Mother adopted him 4 years ago,  he was abandoned because his owner passed away. He lived a  long happy life and was the most energetic cat we have,  always jumping, playing,  happy.... You will be missed!!!  Love You!!!

RIP  FivaL

7:52 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

9/11/06 LasT NighT @ MiDNighT.....

One of my best friends  *DREA*  is visiting from Florida and we wanted a cheap night,(cause we both are so broke) so we smoked a lil and drove into the city around 10pm. Originally we were headed to Simone's for dessert but we thought we were too underdressed and stoned to deal with a resturant so continued our drive through lower Manhattan... After an hour of random driving  we realised that we were  somewhere near Wall st. and since neither of us have been to the WTC memorial site we figured we should go. It was close to  mid-night and I found parking fast...   There were not alot of people when we  arrived, then all of the sudden a large low rumble filled the streets and there were motorcycles and American Flags everywhere!!!!!    An awesome site to see. These Bikers pulled over and held a  mini mid-night memorial service at the site. I don't know who exactly they were, and where exactly they were from, but I do know they were proud to be there. It filled my heart with joy and sadness. It made me realise how important it is to me to be a small part in such a wonderful city!!!

I am no great photographer, but I did want to share a couple of the photo's I took while  I was there...

EnJoY...

and ReMeMbeR....   

NeveR

EveR

FoRGeT

You are Our Heros

Our Hearts and Prayers are with you always.

8:57 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Lookin Forward To....
Current mood: amused

Ozzfest July 29th

My Gurl Drea comin Aug 4th

Dave Matthews Band Aug 5th and possibly 6th

Knee Surgery end of Aug (it may sound bad but the 2 great things about that is no work 2 months,  and in 6 months I  will hopefully be back in stillettos)

California Tour late September (don't know dates yet, but it will be a  kick ass 2 weeks, have lots of places to go, lots of people to see, and  hopefully there are a couple of people to do....     (Hmmmmm,  *giggles to myself* hee hee hee, sorry if I'm your worst nightmare, *giggles to myself again*

Thats it for now, kisses and huggs to all!!!!!

Currently listening : King of Kings By Don Omar Release date: 23 May, 2006

11:02 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

shitty day even got shittier!!!
Current mood: depressed

Yesterday, I  burried my Grandpa...   It wasn't sudden, it  was  a long time coming...  Unfortunatly  things like this one cannot prepare for  even though they knew it was coming...     The  service was beautiful,  and the Cantor sang  my grandparents  song, "I will love you always"  Bing Crosby (i  believe) The love  they shared was something that most people never see  unless  in  movies..   I  can  only  relate by saying "The  Notebook"  (for  those  of you who  have seen  it) My Grandma  is a very strong lady  and has held it together for the immediate family... My Grandfather suffered from Alzheimers,  which eventually took his life...

In  the Jewish  religion, after the service it is straight to the cemetary,  the Rabbi or in  our case  the Cantor  leads  a small  service while lowering  the coffin into the ground, and then the immediate family takes a shovel and helps burry the  deceased...  My Grandfather had 7 brothers and  sisters and all  that is left is my uncle Harry his brother, and well uncle Harry as old as he is must have shoveled  the most dirt in the grave.. (I guess it is his way of dealing with the loss) It was very heart wrenching...

After the burrial we as  a family all sit shiva at my Grandma's, which basically means eat lots of food  and  heal with  the  family... My brother  and I haven't seen my cousins in a real long time, one  lives  in  Grand  Rapids Mi. , the other lives in Eugene Or, (they are between my brothers and my ages) the youngest lives in Israel he is only 9... It sucks to have reunnions on such sad occasions...

My brother watched  my Grandpa take  his last breath at his home with my Grandma,  Mother  and Uncle,   he  hasn't  had  his own time to grieve being  strong for my Mother and Myself...   The bottle  of Bushmills hit  way too  fast,  while Myself and  his GirlFriend said enough  is enough, he couldn't stop!!!! He put  his hands on my Mother demanding the bottle,  and walked home with his Father by his side.. it only got worse from there.. At my  home he  fought with my stepFather (his Father) and the calvery  was called, 4 cop  cars, 2 ambulances...   he  was  taken for intoxication to Booth  where he left wasn't even admitted!!!! they let my baby Brother walk out, how unmorral can you be..  His  friend picked him up and brought him back home and once again 4cop cars 2 abulances show up, this  time  removeal was via handcuffs...  once again to the Hospital where he can't just  walk out, being  strapped down and sedated...  So here I  am Bloggin and Fustrated  not  kowing what is going on... Some things can be so unreal...  I am worried for his wellbeing as well as my Mothers...   This time is  so  hard on my Mom, and yet she is being so strong , for that I love her...

How can one  help someonne who doesn't want the help???  When does tough-love become your only option??? And does that really  help in the long run???

8:30 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

great past 2 days... except for a really bad cold
Current mood: sick

Went to Citizins Park in Philly on Tuesday with one of my best friends , great game even though the Mets lost....  Beautiful stadium, now if only they would build a new one in Flushing and knock that fucken piece of crap Shea to the ground!!!  I'm glad we came back yesterday with a 12-3 final... Gotta believe!!!! 

Last night I saw Ill Nino at the old Limelight, now called Avalon...  damn I haven't been there in years...  It's soooo not the same walking into a club you use to trip at and play with glowsticks, totally different atmosphere, it was a blast from the past...  had a great time exept now I am paying for it dearly with this nasty ass cold I have, ugh!!!!!

10:02 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

St Patty's Day will never be the same....
Current mood: sad

Well another Drunken night at Blarney... worked til 9pm and partied til 7am...  on the shameful walk home at aprox 7:40am (sat morning) I figured I would check my email via phone, what else is one to do while walking the 5 blocks by herself...  So i opened an email from my sister, saying her mother (not my mother) just passed away... I was immediatly hysterical... she was like a grandma to me... even though technically she was more a stepmother once removed...  life can get complicated...

For anyone who doesn't know me, my dad was married once before my mom and he was 79 when he passed away 10 years ago... his first wife was the same age as him.... i have been meaning to go out there for sometime now, but never in a million years did I think I would be traveling for this, I wonder how my job will respond to this, seeing as though i just came back from vacation and another bartender is due to go on  vacation this week....  Fuck them right!!!???

9:14 AM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment