Lizardman Day 2008

Lizardman Day fast approaches!

Lizardman Day, which also happens to be my birthday, is June 12th and is a universal holiday celebrated everywhere for the last two years. here is the basic information link:

http://www.bmeworld.com/amago/lizardmanday.html

I wholly encourage taking the day off from school / work/ etc but you do so at your own risk.

If you want ot get me something my Amazon wishlist is here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/registry.html?ie=UTF8&type=wishlist&id=1CNYWBBVUN325

Or, you could adopt ferrets:

http://www.prairiewildlife.org/adoptionredirect.htm

3:10 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

At the request of Mr John Weaver...

...a quick report on the Jagermeister Music Tour.

The tour is going well.  The bands (3 inches of Blood, Type O Negative, & Hatebreed) are putting on great shows and very cool to work and hang with - which is probably even more important from my point of view.

Most days we are loading in around 11am and receiving POS at noon.  The basic postering and venue prep for our crew is done by about 2-3pm.  The majority of the shows are buyouts rather than catering so we then go search for food and take care of other business till doors at 6:30pm  Both headliners are playing a little over an hour long set getting the show done about midnight.  There is no CD giveaway this time (due to legal issues) so we simply gather the lights, backdrop, & scrims then hit the bus to roll on to the next town.

1:06 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Spring Tour

A few people already know this but I haven't anounced it offically, so...

I am returning as the host of the Jagermiester Music Tour. The next tour with feature Hatebreed and Type O Negative as co-headliners and begins on May 9th. Visit the offical site for more details:

www.jagermeistermusictour.com

2:27 PM - 5 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Earth Day

Technically Earth Day ended over an hour ago but I still wanted to post my suggestion for a green (pun intended) activity:

Take a dump on someone's lawn.

Seriously, you will be providing fertilizer and think of how much water is saved if everyone on the planet uses one less flush. If you want to really be pro-active, get some friends together and have a shit-in on someone's lawn. Given the current administration's views on climate change and many other issues I would like to suggest the White House lawn as a good target. Hell, let's make everyday Earth Day!

ahhh...another footnote in my file. I hope the guy paid to note these ramblings for my eventual trial at least gets a chuckle out of it

11:46 PM - 9 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment

Lethbridge

And with no hesitation at he leaned forward, tore the toe off my sock with his teeth, and swallowed it.

I often get asked if I ever have mornings where I wake up in the morning wondering what the hell happened or having regrets regarding my tattoos. The answer is no, though I do have my share of odd mornings with unanswered questions from other sources. A far more regular occurrence is finding myself in a bar at night wondering how I could ever possibly explain to someone who doesn't live my sort of life how I ended up in whatever weird situation was unfolding. So it was as Sean consumed the toe from the sock on my right foot.

It was Sunday night after the Windy City weekend in Lethbridge had closed and a number of us were relaxing at the hotel bar (Mad Hatters) over a couple drinks. At first I thought he had asked if he could have my sock and while I was a little confused I was in a good mood after a successful weekend at the convention and I figured what the hell, give it to him as a souvenir and have a funny story for my trouble. However, it soon became apparent that he wanted to eat my sock or at least the toe from it. Gradually, I learned that he has done this several times in the past but not why he does it. I was going to remove the sock and let him chew at it to his liking but as I removed my shoe he pulled the sock a bit loose and went for it. I'll confess a moment of fear that I was about to be bitten and possibly lose a toe but his attack was nearly surgical. Afterwards I took my cue from the rest of the group and went on as if basically nothing had happened. My newly exposed big toe poking around my shoe like a child's tongue exploring the gap left from a lost baby tooth.

Enough of sock consumption. The windy city weekend was great success doing well despite a nasty turn of the weather. Will and his crew were really nice and excellent hosts who kept me happy and with a drink my hand as long as I could manage to hold one. If not for the unexpected winter relapse that turned the roads bad I expect the convention would have been extremely crowded given how well attended it was in spite of the slush filled roads. I got a good reception for all my performances and got to meet nice new people.

1:43 PM - 6 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Vegas

As I pulled onto the highway heading back home to Austin from the Red Rock casino a coyote wandered across the road, turned toward me and began trotting alongside the asphalt. I briefly amused myself with thoughts of driving headlong into the trickster's wake and what that might portend. I started thinking about how Thompson's tale of driving through the desert while plagued by bats was devoid of any mention of the coyote. My mind then jumped to contemplate why my trunk was full of sideshow props rather than drugs and if one was really better or worse than the other. Ultimately I concluded that it was better that the only drug with me was caffeine because reality is perception and consciousness often becomes its own perception altering drug during prolonged restless drives. When going without sleep I tend to worry less about decreased reaction time than reacting to things that aren't actually there.

I had left for Vegas Wednesday afternoon, driving straight through in order to arrive on Thursday afternoon for a gig Friday night. Things got weird on the drive there long before any fatigue managed set in on me. I stopped for gas in Fort Stockton and as I got out of my car a guy pulled up in front of me and offered to sell me ipods ("real cheap") – he waved them at me with one in each hand still in display cases. I declined the offer and began to pump my gas but the 'entrepreneur' pulled around alongside my rental and called out to me again. This time it wasn't a sales pitch but a request for a picture with me. I obliged so he hopped out of his car and got a picture of us with his phone. He then presented me with a business card that bore a Buddhist phrase (Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo) I accepted the card and feigned ignorance not wanting to get into a philosophical discussion at the time. My next stop was far more mundane. I swung into the Starbucks off exit 9 on I-10 just before closing and grabbed a chai tea. Stopping there wasn't random I had been there before while going to and from the Albuquerque convention last month. During one stop I took pictures with the staff and they were nice so I figured I would swing in again.

I got into Vegas around 11am, checked in at Circus Circus, worked out a little, and then took a nice 2 hour nap. When I got up I headed over to Denny & Lee's to check out some magic – it is still my favorite magic shop. I spent more than an hour chatting at the shop and picked up some new toys. From there it was on to Mandalay Bay where I hoped to catch up with Steve while checking out Starlight Tattoo. I got to Starlight but Steve wasn't in, I gave him a call and found he was on his way there. Stepping next door to the House of Blues I enjoyed some sweet potato fries and a Guinness waiting for Steve. When he arrived Steve and I talked for a bit and hung out in the shop. Eventually I headed back down the strip to Circus and relaxed for a little while until Jon and Lady D showed up. We all went over to Slots of Fun intending to drink and play video roulette but the roulette machines were out of order. So, we drank and played slots. When we had drunk and lost enough we walked back to Circus and got Krispy Kreme donuts – I recommend the cinnamon roll donut. They headed home and I went to bed with a 10am wake up call.

I would have preferred to sleep in but the party planners were paying for my room for Friday and it was at the Red Rock, given how nice that place is I wasn't too upset at getting up to move over there – it was just a bit disappointing that I was really only using the room to nap and clean up since I was leaving after the party and not staying the night. The party itself was a 13th birthday and being a private event I don't think talking much about the details is really proper. It was the first time I ever played at a birthday party and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves (I even managed to keep it clean) so I am happy with how it went. After the party, I packed up and hit the road which brings us back to the coyote…I hope he didn't get hit by a car

8:33 PM - 6 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

Irritation

Another example in the long list of reasons I get annoyed:

http://blogs.chicagotribune.co...n/2008/04/rep-monique-dav.html

And where is the mainstream press, probably still wherever they were when the yshould have been reporting about the religious leaders endorsing McCain who think 9/11 happened because there are gay people in America. I’m sick of hearing about Obama’s pastor not because of the bias but rather because it is ridiculous to expect faith based leaders to spew anything other than insane crap...

Funny how as an atheist I am supposedly immoral but my ethics are all that prevent me from grabbing the gun and doing some real voting

9:25 PM - 8 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment

Sweden

Wednesday - The trip begins. My route to Gothenburg (I am going with that spelling out of the half dozen I have encountered) is Austin to Chicago to Copenhagen to Gothenburg. The international departures transfer process in Chicago is still fucked and needs to be fixed but the counter person for SAS there rules! I was seated in the middle of a row for the flight from Chicago to Copenhagen and there were no windows or aisles open when I checked at the counter. However, an aisle opened up while I was waiting and this agent re-seated me and then tracked me down in the gate area to give me a new boarding pass - thank you! During the flight I watched Dangerous Liasons - that film holds up well, I still dig it.

Thursday - The joy of traveling east and shifting timezones, a day goes by and you are still traveling. My layover in Copenhagen was short but the transfer was easy enough. Well, it was easy for me but not my bag. I arrived in Gothenburg to find that my case had not made the flight. Thus, I and a representative from the airline had to go find Buddha so he could translate and give them contact info for me so they could deliver it. A short ride later we were at the hotel, conveniently across the street from the venue, and I cleaned up and began waiting for my case which contained essentially everything except the books I had read on the flight and my DS which kept me occupied. I got a bit apprehensive when the information number for the airport switched to an automated message and then gave up completely around 10pm at which point I decided to hit the bar. On my way to start drinking I was informed that my case had just been dropped off in the lobby. The lesson here is, I think, just go to the bar and everything will be all right.

Friday - Attendance was very strong for the convention. I think they set a new record for themselves. I spent most of the day in the beer garden meeting new people and enjoying Danish beer. It seems that most Swedish people, or at least the ones I met, do not drink Swedish beer and they also don’t let you buy beers for yourself. I only bought one beer while in Sweden and that was a Scot. My Friday night show went really well and because nearly everyone seemed to speak incredibly good English I did my show as I normally would. The crowd was appreciative and seemed to enjoy my often weird and always dirty humor.

Saturday - The line to get in to the expo went down the block for seven hours, attendance was good. I did a short ’teaser’ matinee show in the afternoon followed by a full show that night. Once again things went really well. I thought I had dodged the bullet on jet lag until that night after the convention closed I was in the hotel bar and it just hit me. I went back to my room and slipped into a pleasant coma.

Sunday - Last day, last show and things continued to be fantastic. The after show party doubled as a birthday celebration and I got more than a little hammered. I think I packed that night but I couldn’t swear to it. I just know my bags were packed when I woke up.

Monday - It is good thing that I, or the magic gremlins, packed my bags because I awoke to the phone having mis-set my alarm. It was the front desk telling me my cab was waiting. I was still dressed from the night before so I grabbed my luggage and still quite buzzed wrestled it down to the lobby. At the airport I managed to check in with time to spare and found a bar near my gate - being still drunk I just ordered water and curled up in a booth. My route back was Gothenburg to Copenhagen to Washington, DC to Austin. I crashed from Gothenburg to Copenhagen in order to get my strength up for the mad dash to make my connection - made worse by landing a bit late. I made the gate with a minute to spare before boarding began. From Copenhagen to DC I slept and recovered back to feeling normal. This would have been wonderful but turned out to be the bare minimum for what I was about to endure. I still cannot completely contain in words my outrage at the alleged system for customs and transfers to connecting flights at Dulles airport. The person responsible should be tortured and I don’t mean that humorously. I will say the customs agent I dealt with was very nice but nearly every other staff member was visibly contributing to the problems. My two hour layover would have barely been enough for me to make my flight to Austin excpet that it was delayed three hours due to the aircraft being late - no other explanation, not even weather claims, just it’s three hours late deal with it.

Pictures are up in my flickr stream

1:08 PM - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Australia & New Mexico

It appears that the segment I did for 60 Minutes Australia has aired since I am getting feedback on it from people online. I have no idea what made edit as I haven't seen it at all, but the crew was very decent and good to work with so I am not at all concerned - plus the responses thus far have all been positive.

Reminder for those in or able to get to Albuquerque, NM - I will be there next weekend and performing at the tattoo convention:

http://www.newmexicotattooexpo.com/

6:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Yard Dogs Road Show

I got to see the Yard Dogs Road Show last night and was very impressed. Their show combines a ton of different elements but they are all done incredibly well and melded together with great skill. Not to mention they all deserve medals for persevering through the weather on an outdoor stage last night. Really, all the entertainers at Stubb's last night deserve something extra for what they endured.

If you get the chance, check them out and you will not be disappointed (unless you're some sort of humorless philistine):

http://www.yarddogsroadshow.com/

1:57 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment