You mean I might actually have some time to write a blog right now? Ssshhh, D, don’t jinx it..
Current mood: Gaseous
Category: Gaseous Blogging

So you want to know what's up with me lately, huh?  I'll tell you what's up...a whole lot, I'll tell you that much!!

Erin and I went to Boston a couple weeks ago on vacation.  I've been meaning to write about this trip in a little more detail, but I haven't had the time and I doubt I'll have the time right now with a call from MFPB looming and Mr. Nickname gathering some information for a project for me.  Oh Happy Day!

I was in a show on Monday.  It went EXCELLENT.  It was called "Seven Plays in Seven Days."  The show was 7 ten minute plays with all different writers, directors, and actors.  I auditioned the Monday before, got cast at midnight, rehearsed the entire week, memorized my lines, and did the show the following Monday.  I was in the final play called "How to Destroy a Theatre."  Not to get too much into it, but it started off with me in a cowboy hat, sunglasses, and a bandana making a video about how to destroy a theater because I am an ex-disgruntled theater technician and ex-child actor.  It ends with me hugging a Cabbage Patch Kid all distraught rocking back and forth in a chair and singing the "Slinky Song" jingle.  I will have a DVD of it in a few weeks, so I will post it on here for all to see!  My head grew 8 feet in diameter from the compliments I received on this play.  It makes me crave theater once more!

In other news, my lap top wouldn't start yesterday.  It would start up and shut off or just freeze in the middle of starting up.  It was a wonderful and joyous thing to happen to me at the beginning of a work day.  So for the last couple of days, I've been working on the computer in the Office Supply Room/Room where we throw all of the empty boxes.  I feel like Milton.

And finally, I will be participating in a ROAST!!  We will be roasting my "friend" Paul Barile (aka "The Big Easy") who is also the head of the theater company where I've done the last two plays.  It's 6:30pm at The Spot - $15 open bar for an hour and a half.  It should be a good time if anyone is interested - especially if you know Paul...because I's a-gonna roast him GOOD.

Uh oh. MFPB calls....gotta go....

Currently watching : Roast of Denis Leary Uncensored Release date: 2004-08-03

3:05 PM - 9 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Boston Photos & other shiznat
Category: Travel and Places

Take a virtual tour of Boston and Salem, MA in my Boston photo album!!!

It'll be like you're almost THERE!!!

A Boston blog is on its way from me if I ever get a chance to blog between working and rehearsing for my next show...

YEP...I'm in another show...

"Seven Plays in Seven Days" 

The title says it all.  I auditioned on Monday.  Got cast on Tuesday.  And now I have a week to rehearse until we go up this Monday for one night only.  It's been a crazy ride and I'm STILL trying to get all of my lines memorized.  It's the insane.  If you're in the Chicago area and are interested in tickets, contact me for more info.  The theater sells out fast since it is small and the show is only one night.  I play a disturbed ex-child actor with a grudge against Slinkies and a vendeta towards theater.  Now who wouldn't want to see that?

On the weight loss front, I'm back down to 262.  Hooray! 

That's all for now.  Have a wonderful weekend, you crazy douchebags!

7:31 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Just for the record...

This job makes me want to try heroin.

5:14 AM - 12 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Highlights from the weekend
Current mood: hungover
Category: Parties and Nightlife

- I ate saganaki for free.  Mmmm

- I played mediator in a political debate with my liberal friend Michelle and her conservative boyfriend Aaron. 

- I started drinking at 11am on Saturday

- I drank on a bus with a bunch of other drunkies on my way to the Cubs/Sox game.  Then I drank on the bus again on our way back.

- I ate a whole bag of peanuts while I stewed over a Cubs loss

- I punched a Sox fan in the mouth.  No I didn't, but I wanted to

- I ate pizza twice and yet somehow managed to lose 4 lbs in 2 days

- I got called "Andre Dawson" 200 times because of my Cubs jersey

- My friend Shak made me do a shot of Soco at 1pm.  I almost threw up.

- I started off with one lighter, then lost it, then ended the night with 4 lighters.

- I walked up to every Cubs fan on my way out of US Cellular Field to tell them that we still rule even though the Sox fans wouldn't let up.

- I had a 30 minute conversation with this couple I just met.  I remember the conversation making me feel really good afterwards.  I can't remember said conversation.

- A band was playing at Doc Ryans.  I was watching the band play.  Next thing  I know I'm in the band.  I'm playing cowbell.  I'm doing my best Will Ferrell immitation.  I'm surprised I didn't get kicked out.

- I cha-chaed.

- Yada, yada, yada...I'm still really hungover today.

3:49 PM - 16 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

Mighty D’s Weekly Weigh-In Cancelled - replaced by Mighty D’s Weight Loss Update
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I'm getting sick of writing these every Friday, so I'm just going to update this when I feel like it.  I'm still going to keep track on my own like I've been doing every week, but these blogs have become more a chore than fun.  If you want me to send you an Excel spreadsheet of my progress, send me your e-mail and I'll have my sexy assistant Gertrude send them to you.  I wish I had a sexy assistant named Gertrude.  That would be cool. 

OK...so I didn't post last week either...here's the results for the last 2 weeks:

Original Weight (July 2007):  278

Weight 2 Weeks ago:  264

Weight Last Week ago:  267

Weight This Week:  267.5

I worked out 4 times in the last two weeks - need to improve on that.  But once again, as the weight goes up, the inches fluctuate...

          MEASUREMENTS       

                Original         June 27

 Waist         47.5"             45"

Chest          47"                46"

Hips            48"                 48"

Arm             17"                16.5"

Thigh            28"              28.5"

Calf              17"                18"

Not sure what it means, but I do feel tighter and thinner.  I just have to keep going in as much as possible.  I'll keep you all updated.

6:59 PM - 3 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

MFPB Call Log
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

And now it's time for Mind Freak Psycho Boss's Call Log from the last two days to The Mighty D

June 24

9:33am - (Voicemail) - "Where the fuck are you?  Call me back"

9:38am - "Why didn't you call me back??" 

I respond that I was currently listening to the voicemail he had left not even 5 minutes ago.  He can't remember why he called.  He says he'll call me back.

10:11am - MFPB tells me that I can call him "dickhead" if I want, because he calls me that all of the time.  I tell him that I wouldn't even call my worst enemy that, let alone my boss.  I never really liked the word.  He rants on about non-work related things and somehow we get on the topic of the comedian Steven Wright.  I find a webpage of Steven Wright sayings and read some of them over the phone while he laughs.  He finds the page as well and does the same.  He says he needs me to do something for him work-related that he really should be doing himself.  I tell him that I should get off the phone and do it, because I'm really busy today.

10:28am - MFPB calls again just to read three more sayings from Steven Wright, while I am trying to concentrate on the work-related project that MFPB just gave me minutes ago.  I politely laugh and get off the phone with him.

11:11am - MFPB has more sayings he wants to read to me.  I am getting extremely irritated at the fact now that 1) I cannot concentrate on a project he wants me to do for him and 2) That MFPB must not be that busy himself.

2:18pm - Missed a call from MFPB.  Must not have been important since there was no voicemail.

5:25pm - (25 minutes after I left work)  Ummm...Dennis...you HAVE to call me back - it's really important.

5:30pm - Another missed call

-------------------

June 25

I find out that he wanted me to e-mail an attachment to someone.  This was his reason for the call.  He needed me to e-mail an attachment that he already had to people who he alreadys knows and has e-mail addresses for.  Since I didn't return his call after I left the office, he just did it himself. 

9:57am - He calls and I answer -

MFPB:  Where the fuck is my weekly summary?

Me:  I'm working on it right now

MFPB:  Oh ok...

MFPB then goes on a rant about why he hates the beeping seat belt reminder in his car.  I tell him that there is a very simple way to stop the beeping - buckle your fucking seatbelt.  He tells me that he's a rebel and refuses to do so.  I tell him that he's going to be a real rebel when firemen scrape his bloody carcus off the pavement of a roadway someday.  He tells me that seatbelts and airbags kill thousands of people a year.  I say that their absence kills more.  He begs to differ and then starts screaming about how the government sucks and imposes these bullshit rules...then says, "Oh fuck...there's a cop."

Instead of him just buckling his seatbelt, he pulls it over his body and lets it go after he passes.  The seatbelt reminder beeping continues.  I shake my head in disbelief.  The whole conversation lasts a good 35 minutes.  Meanwhile, I have better things to do (like finish more of his work).  Finally, we get off the phone.

10:05am - Missed call - no message.  I missed it because I was talking to a co-worker in her office

10:37am - Missed call with a voicemail to call him back.  I'm packing up a package to go overnight to a customer that's been waiting on a sample.  I'm not in my office.

10:52am - Missed call again.  This time I'm downstairs dropping the package at the FedEx station.  I receive a lovely voicemail:

"Where are you?  We can't keep doing this anymore - I need you to answer your phone when I call. You NEED to be accessible at all times.  When you leave your desk, you need to forward your phone to your cell.  I need to talk to you about something, and it can't wait.  Call me back as soon as you get this."

10:52am - MFPB calls my co-worker in the office to find out "Where the fuck I am."

10:55am -  Co-worker comes running up to tell me that MFPB needs me to call him RIGHT AWAY.

10:56am - I call him - voicemail.

12:12pm - He finally calls me back to tell me that he has a bunch of product he needs to get shipped out before the end of June and that he can't get a hold of anyone.  He proceeds to tell me to keep calling the contact people until I get a hold of someone and to tell them that he needs to talk to them, but that he'll call him back after he gets off of his flight.

"Um hi...yeah, MFPB needs to talk to you but he can't right now.  Just make sure that you cancel all appointments and hold all of your calls for him until he gets around to making the phone call.  Thanks!"

END CALL LOG

----------------------------------

I almost walked out today.  I wanted to...I still want to.  I can't though.  I need the money.  It would be so stupid on my part, but the above is the type of stupid shit I deal with on a daily basis.  Plus I work for 3 other people who are just as demanding as him (but not quite as psycho)  And to top it all off, he's coming into my office today...

I think it's time to pop another pill...

6:30 PM - 19 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Mighty D’s Deep Thoughts of the Day
Current mood: rockin
Category: Life

If someone tucks an advertisement on a slip of paper underneath your windshield wiper of your car, are you guilty of littering for crumbling up that sheet of paper and throwing it on the ground?  I can't imagine that it's my responsibility to make sure that piece of paper makes it's way to a garbage facility.  I didn't want that piece of paper to be put there, and more importantly I don't believe that I can make $5,000 a week working from home.  If this was true, you wouldn't have to put pieces of paper under people's windshields promoting this nonsense.  We'd all be rich.

I just got off the elevator with a girl wearing white pants that could have only been more see through if they were made of glass.  Her underwear was on display for anyone within a mile radius of her.  What is this girl trying to accomplish here?  Does she want guys to hit on her in the office?  I'm sure that she doesn't, yet she wears these freaking pants.  That's like putting a bowl of candy in front of your house on Halloween and expecting no one to mess with it.  Although I enjoyed the sight, elevator girl, I do have borderline high blood pressure and would appreciate if you leave those pants at home from now on.

Is there no length to my job responsibilites?  Mr. Nickname (aka Boss 2) came into my office and asked me to go on the United Airlines website to tell me if his wife's flight is getting in on time.  Would you like a back massage as well?  How about I make you some coffee and scrub the walls down while you're gone?  If you need me to strip and do a hula dance, just say the word.  I am on the payroll after all...

For the 2nd time in 2 years, I attended a dry wedding recently.  By dry wedding, I mean ZERO alcohol - not even champagne for a toast.  The beverages on the menu were lemonade and ice tea and for a toast, they used sparkling cider (but everyone only received 1/4 of a cup as to not get anyone too riled up).  I really think this sort of information should be included on a wedding invitation so that a person such as myself who enjoys the alcohol can prepare himself for such an event (aka a keg in the trunk of my car, a beer helmet, an IV hooked up to a jager bomb tank, etc.)  I understand that maybe you don't enjoy the alcohol and may not want to pay the extra money to provide it, but at least put "BYOB" on the invite or something.  I felt like a kid at Christmas coming down to a Christmas tree bare of presents.  And yes, I almost did cry.

As I'm driving down to Central Illinois this weekend, I was paying close attention to those blue signs that tell you what is at each exit.  You know what I'm talking about?  There's a blue sign that shows you all the gas stations up ahead, and another blue sign that shows the places to get food, etc like the below.: 

I had always noticed those two signs, but I noticed another one that said "Attractions" that I had never noticed before.  And most of the "Attraction" signs were completely empty underneath displaying absolutely nothing.  That made me feel sorry for the exit.  Wow - that exit sucks.  They have a McDonalds, a Citgo, and absolutely no attractions.  That exit serves only one purpose, and that is to refuel either your car or your stomach.  Then I thought - why even make an "Attractions" sign if there isn't any attractions?  Are you trying to deter the driver from stopping there?  Is McDonalds and Citgo not attractive enough that you have to include an empty "Attractions" sign?  What a waste of a sign.  Then I came to the obvious conclusion that someone is fucking with me and doesn't want me to stop there.  So I stopped, and lo and behold, there was a message waiting for me:

"After 8pm walk north on the sidewalk for a BJ"

Well, I'll tell you what....that "Attractions" sign sure was wrong...

Currently reading : Beyond the Glory Hole By Jim Ludwig

7:51 PM - 17 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

RIP George Carlin
Current mood: blah
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

One of the best comedians, if not THE best stand up comedian of our time died yesterday at the age of 71 - George Carlin.  I had always been a fan of his satiric style and since acquiring XM Radio, I always turned his routines way up whenever clips of his stand up would play on the XM comedy channels.  George Carlin was keeping it real way before keeping it real was keeping it real.  Here is one of my favorite clips from his stand up comedy...  RIP George Carlin.

--------------------------

Baseball vs. Football

Baseball is different from any other sport; very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs.

In most sports the ball or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.

Also: In football, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball, and without the ball you can't score. In baseball, the ball prevents you from scoring.

In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager; and only in baseball does the manager (or coach) wear the same clothing as the players do. If you had ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders football uniform, you would know the reason for this custom.

Now I've mentioned football. Baseball and football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And, as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values. And maybe how those values have changed over the last 150 years. For those reasons I enjoy comparing baseball and football:

..TR> ..TABLE>

 

And finally, the objectives of the the two games are completely different:

 

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.	Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. The baseball park!	Football is played on a GRIDIRON, in a STADIUM, sometimes called SOLDIER FIELD or WAR MEMORIAL STADIUM.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.	Football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.
In football you wear a helmet	In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs. "What down is it?	Baseball is concerned with ups. "Who's up? Are you up? I'm not up! He's up!"
In football you recieve a penalty.	In baseball you make an error.
In football the specialist comes in to kick.	In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting, and unnecessary roughness.	Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played in any kind of weather: Rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...can't see the game, don't know if there is a game going on; mud on the field...can't read the uniforms, can't read the yard markers, the struggle will continue!	In baseball if it rains, we don't go out to play. "I can't go out! It's raining out!"
Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch.	Football has the two-minute warning
Baseball has no time limit: "We don't know when it's gonna end!"	Football is rigidly timed, and it will end "even if we have to go to sudden death."
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling. Emotions may run high or low, but there's not that much unpleasantness.	In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you were perfectly capable of taking the life of a fellow human being

..TR> ..TABLE>

In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his recievers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! "I hope I'll be safe at home!"

Currently reading : Three Times Carlin: An Orgy of George By George Carlin Release date: 2006-10-31

2:31 PM - 16 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

Mighty D’s Weekly Weigh-In - Live from Chicago
Current mood: drunk
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Wellllll

1 and 1 is 2

2 and 6 is 8

Come on baby don't you make me late

Hidey HEY!  Baby you don't you want to go

Back to that same old place, Sweet Home Chicago...

Mighty D's Weekly Weigh-In is on the air!  I'm your host The Mighty D bringing you this week's highlights in Mighty D weight loss history.  This week's weight loss is brought to you by Spam

Spam(tm) - how are they still in business?

This week I had the intention of working out 4 days in a row, but unfortunately things happen.  I bought a new car on Monday night and I had to work late on Tuesday night, so I missed both of those nights.  But I came back to the gym with a vengance on Wednesday and Thursday nights and worked my ass off.  Plus Erin and I have been getting up early before work to go walking around the neighborhood for about 30-45 minutes.  That's helped a lot too.  I'm feeling different - tighter and lighter and I have much more energy and strength now.  Things are going good.

6/6 - 6/12  STEPS (Goal a week = At least 10,000 steps for 3 days)

FRIDAY:  14,605

SATURDAY:  5,000

SUNDAY:   7,302

MONDAY:  10,600

TUESDAY:  12,230

WEDNESDAY:  15,959

THURSDAY:  24,052

TOTAL:  89,748

LAST WEEK:  81,312

TW/LW Difference:  +8,436

Number of days I worked out:  2 (gym), 4 total

Initial Weight (July 2007):  278

Last Week's Weight:  266

This Week's Weight:  264

WEEKLY LOSS:  2 lbs

TOTAL LOSS:  13 lbs

Yeah!  I lost some weight!!  Woohoo!  It's about time. 

Thanks for tuning in with us this week, join us next week when our guest will be Jared from Subway.  Until then, so long everybody...

Currently listening : Sweet Home Chicago Release date: 2006-11-21

12:32 PM - 6 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Ode to My Car
Current mood: blessed
Category: Automotive

Dooo dooo dooo

Here we go!

Piece of shit car...I got a piece of shit car...that fuckin' pile of shit never gets me very far.

------

Ah yes...that classic song by Adam Sandler has been my theme song for 8 years now.  Right after college I got a 1993 Honda Civic that lasted me about 8 months before it exploded and I basically had to push it to a dealership with no other choice but to buy another car.  Luckily, my mom was there to co-sign for me and get me a reasonable loan.  And that's when I got the 1997 Toyota Tercel...

I remember I brought it home on that day in 2002 and showed my currrent roommates my new purchase.  The looks on all of their faces when I rushed them all outside to see it was much like - "Um...are we supposed to be impressed?" 

From March 2002 to Monday I drove this sucker around.  It was my ride, dawg.  Within those last 6 years, I got about 10 flat tires, ran it into a lightpole knocking out the back rear light cover (which I never replaced), knocked the front parking light off of the front parallel parking (which I never replaced), dented the front pretty bad, lost 3 hub caps, burned oil and replaced oil, leaked oil and replaced oil, & had the brakes replaced twice.  The radio completely died on me for 2 years and I got that replaced in January.  The speedometer stopped working back in November.  The Check Engine light has been on for the last 4 months and I would sporaticly stall after stopping at stop lights or just by starting up my car.  The inside was constantly filled with garbage, my floorpads were torn, my cigarette lighter was broken for awhile, and even though I got the brake lights fixed just a few months ago, I found out that they were broken again on Monday.  My seatbelt was fucking broken...I had to click it in and out and in and out and in and out to make it stay clicked before I pulled away driving.  Sometimes after doing that, it would unclick and fly across my body in the middle of traffic.  In anger, I would mutter to myself, "This seatbelt is going to be the death of me," then laughed at the idea that it could quite possibly be the death of me someday if it didn't stay clicked.  Then realized that that wasn't really that funny.

Taking my car to get washed was like running it through a garden sprinkler as it didn't really make much of a difference.  Inviting passengers into my car was like asking them to step into a musty armpit of nuts and not-so-tightly-screwed bolts.  I made my friends sign a waiver before accepting a ride from me and promised them not to complain about the smell.  I also assured them of my spotless driving record, and even though the Tercel was a piece of shit, it was just reliable enough for 6 years, so I can't complain too badly.  Thanks Toyota! 

The only things keeping me from getting a new car was the fact that I was in debt up to my receding hairline and there was no way in fucking hell I was ever going to get financed.  Or was there?  On Saturday, I decided enough was enough and applied for a car loan at Carmax. 

APPROVED!!!!!

I couldn't believe it!  There was hope for me yet!!  Granted, the APR was a higher percent than the percentage of white males in this country, but I still got approved!!! 

On Monday I looked for a new car.  Looked at a Toyota dealership and Carmax and after my searching and test driving was over...I knew I had found the new car for me...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Let me introduce you to...

The Mighty D Mobile

aka

Papa Smurf

aka

My Boy Blue

aka

Blueberry (this one's Erin's - not a big fan)

aka

The Smurfmobile...

My new car - a blue 2007 Kia Rio 4dr...

*Cue the Hallelujah Chorus*

Haaaa-le-lu-jah!  Haaaa-le-lu-jah! 

Haaaa-le-lu-jah

Haaaa-le-lu-jah

Haaa-leee-luuuu-jahhhhh!!!

I freaking love it!  It has excellent car mileage and great consumer reports.  It's practically new with only 15K miles on it...I am a happy new daddy.

Thanks for the memories Toyota Tercel.  We're gonna play you out with one final photo montage tribute to the piece of shit car that is now probably disassembled and lying in a landfill somewhere...

The last know picture of the Tercel

The last picture of me in the Tercel

Out with the old, and in with the new....

Notice the beautiful dent marks on the Tercel

R.I.P Mighty D's Toyota Tercel 1997-2008

9:30 AM - 32 Comments - 27 Kudos - Add Comment

Mighty D’s Weekly Weigh-In
Current mood: imaginative

Alright - another week, another blog about my weight/work out plan.  I was really good this week for the most part.  I'm feeling really good and tight in certain areas of my body.  I'm getting to the point where I HAVE to go to the gym now.  It's like a drug...I'm becoming addicted.  Yesterday I got really irritated and angry about something that had to do to work.  I drove furiously to the gym screaming along to the songs of my new Flobots album.  After 50 minutes of the eliptical and 45 minutes of weight training, I might as well walked out of there skipping through the tulips I had such a peaceful high.  Let's see the results, shall we?

5/30 - 6/5  STEPS (Goal a week = At least 10,000 steps for 3 days)

FRIDAY:  18,259

SATURDAY:  12,000

SUNDAY:   3,748

MONDAY:  5,310

TUESDAY:  12,695

WEDNESDAY:  13,700

THURSDAY:  15,600

TOTAL:  81,312

LAST WEEK:  83,231

TW/LW Difference:  -1,919

Number of days I worked out:  4

Initial Weight (July 2007):  278

Last Week's Weight:  265

This Week's Weight:  266

WEEKLY LOSS:  Gain of 1 lb

TOTAL LOSS:  11 lbs

OK...so I've gained about 4 lbs since I've been working out.  Normally, I would be livid, but I'm not - and here's why...  Erin had the brilliant idea to start measuring ourselves to see the inches that we may or may not have lost.  Here's what I found out about myself since originally being measured on 5/12:

             5/12           6/5          LOSS

Waist     47-1/2"      46"          -1-1/2"

Hips       48"            48"            0"

Arm        17"           16-1/2"       -1/2"  

Calf        17"            18"           +1"    (makes sense as this muscle is hard as a rock now)

Thigh      28"            27-1/2"     -1/2"

Chest      47"            46"           -1"

So something is happening here - I am losing inches.  The weight is going up but the inches are going down.  It's only a matter of time before the weight follows suit I would think. 

OK - I'm done.  Anyone want to lecture me about my diet this week?  ;-)

Currently listening : Fight With Tools By Flobots Release date: 2008-05-20

9:29 AM - 13 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

A Blog for the Fans - if you commented on my last blog, you’re in this one!
Current mood: blissful
Category: Blogging

A couple days ago I asked if I should throw all my work aside and write a blog for the little people (aka you - the reader...muhaha).  I of course came into the office with full intention to do just that, and once again became swamped by projects due immediately and endless calls and phone calls from hyperactive people needing shit from me ASAP.  Sigh...  This job in 2007 was pleasant with lots of minor irritations.  This job in 2008 is hectic and stressful full of major irritations and I have come close to walking out a couple times in the last couple of weeks.  But that's a blog for another day - most likely a day where I am not working. 

But as I write this, I have already received two work e-mails and a call from MFPB...but I am ignoring it all just to get this posted today.  If I lose my job, please take up a collection for my living expenses.

I have decided to write a blog including ALL of your comments!  Much like a Dear Abby column but without the cavernous vagina.  So here we go...

-----------------------------------------------

(To see these people's original comments along with pictures and links to their page, check out my last blog entitled "Hey")

----------------------------------------------------------------------

theMike wrote...

"i vote a resounding YES

for a topic, you can write about anything as long as it has absolutely nothing to do with A) the cubs B) wrigley field C) current, former or future cub players D) anything that is owned by the tribune or E) aldi"

And now the Mighty D's blog...

The Cubs are 25-8 at Wrigley Field this year which is astonishing not only for the Cubs who are currently playing like Lee, DeRosa, Fukudome, Soriano, etc but also for older players such as Ernie Banks, Sammy Sosa, Tinkers, Evers, Chance, & of course Ronnie Santo.  Lets just hope future players like Eric Patterson or Felix Pie or anyone else the Cubs may sign can fully enjoy a World Series championship this fall.  I wonder if they sell the Chicago Tribune at Aldi.  Probably not...but I could use $1.99 frozen pizza.

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Amy wrote...

"Yes, Yes, Yes......Oh yeah, I always make special effort to read the tiny words at the bottom of any screen!!!!....pfft...what good are they ever...pfft D.... ;)...Were U actually allowed to be at the bridge??"

And now the Mighty D's blog...

So you like 'em tiny, huh?  I'll meet you at the bridge.  Just let me know the time and place, baby.

---------------------------------------------------

mistalicious writes...

"YES!

I think you should blog about why you love your lurkers! ;)"

Mighty D's Blog...

This blog goes out to all of my lurkers.  Wait...if they are my lurkers, then how do I know who they are?  Wow...brain annurism. 

----------------------------------------------------------

Ross says...

"forget about what mike says. how about that mark prior? it's the american dream: get rich while not doing shit! haha"

Mighty D's blog...

Mark Prior made a pact with the devil and is now living the American dream.  One season of great pitching and a lifetime of riches while you bask in the sun and do nothing.  God...what I would do to be Mark Prior...  I had a feeling that once the Cubs got rid of him, Prior would return to Cy Young form...but thus is not the case.  And to tell you the truth, it makes me kind of happy knowing that a former Cub didn't get better after leaving.  Mark Prior was good PRIOR to his injury.  A-tut-tut-tut.  Wordplay.  Gotta love it.  MY COKE!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Big Mama D wrote...

"YES!

You can write about being pregnant.

Oh, wait. That's my blog.

Write about showchoir or jazzercise. Something with jazz-hands."

Mighty D's blog...

I am not pregnant.  I may look like I'm pregnant but I'm just a fatty.  I wish I could give birth to a keg of beer right now to solve not one but two problems:

1) My gut will decrease in its size

2) I'd have a delicious keg of beer that I want nothing more in the world than to guzzle after this horrific week at work.

I wish I was still in show choir in high school.  Those were some happy times.  No debt to worry about.  No bills to pay.  My biggest worry was if I was going to get to feel the boobs of the current girl I was dating.  Mmmm boobs.  Boobs get bigger when you are pregnant.  And now this blog has come full circle...

-----------------------------

Melanie writes...

"Yes, yes, yes!"

Mighty D blogs...

I'm still thinking about boobs.

-----------------------------

Grau Geist writes...

"Blog about taking a dump. I was going to write one entitled, "The Throne," about my special place to sit and shit. Perhaps you could save me the trouble..."

Mighty D writes...

I take too many dumps - most of them messy and disgusting.  I wish I had a boday.  That would make the clean up process much easier, but sometimes trying to clean myself up after one of those things is like sticking a moist toillette into a bowl of chocolate pudding.  If the toilet was going to be my throne, I would definitely need servants.  Wench, please bring me the clamps.  Young lad, bring me my Preparation H.  Good lad...now go buy yourself a Christmas goose.  The finest in the land!  And don't forget the figgy pudding.

Now bring us some figgy pudding

Now bring us some figgy pudding

Now bring us some figgy pudding

And a stack of moist toilettes.

CURTAIN

End of Act 1.  There will be a 10 minute intermission.

----------------------------

Christina writes...

"i vote: YES.

topic: Why do you think Steve is so black?"

Mighty D writes...

Steve is as black as an albino ghost.  I think he has watched "The Jerk" way too many times.  He talks about his black ass a lot, but I think he might actually be referring to his personal hygiene rather than the color of his skin.  That is so not off the chain...

---------------------------------------------------------

The Original Angsta writes...

"Write more blogs about partying and smacking your gf's ass."

The Mighty D blogs...

Ummm...I like to party and smack my girlfriend's ass.  That's about it.  In terms of any specifics regarding any crazy party incidents, I really don't have any.  When I was in LA, there was this British girl there that was really fucked up.  She looked like Olivia Newton-John and she kept saying how stoned she was.  But there really isn't anything funny about that...let's see...what other stories do I have.  Oh yeah...I had the following conversation with female bartender at the bar we were at for my girlfriend's birthday last Saturday night:

Me:  Can you turn on the boxing match?  (my friend wanted to watch it)

Her:  Umm...like, I don't have any control over that...you'll have to ask him (she nonchallantly points over to an area where many huge manager looking type dudes were standing)

Me:  Ummm...who?

Her:  Over there (does the same thing)

Me:  You can't just change it?  The TV is right there.

Her:  Ummm...like no.

Me:  We're not friends anymore.  (I say this in a playful way as I seem to be irritating her)

Her:  Um, I don't even know you.

Me:  Wow...ok...I was kidding around

Her:  Um ok...

Me:  Bye stupid whore

God I hate women who treat you like crap just because they're good looking.  You're a fucking bartender - you work here.  Do your fucking job.

Anyway...that's all I have for you today on the party front.

---------------------------------------------------------

This concludes your broadcast blog.  Buh-bye.

Currently reading : Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story For Little Kids About Divorce By Sandra Levins

2:41 PM - 12 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

Hey
Current mood: catalyzed
Category: Blogging

Who thinks I should shove my moutainous pile of work to the side tomorrow and actually write a freaking blog?

Vote yes or no

People with the best comments and/or best blog ideas will get a special blog dedicated to THEM and a night of passion love making with ME*

On a side note, don't pinch me because I think I'm in the middle of a Chicago Cubs fan's dream

*pending Erin's impossible approval and granted you do not have a penis. 

Currently reading : Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing By Sadie Allison

8:54 PM - 12 Comments - 19 Kudos - Add Comment

Mighty D’s Weekly Weigh-In
Current mood: Fat
Category: Fat Goals, Plans, Hopes

Being back at home, I was a lot better this week.  I wasn't perfect though as I went to two Cubs games and a BBQ this week.  Plus it was Erin's birthday, so a lot of alcohol and bad food was involved.  I did, however, work out 3 times this week which I plan on improving on next week.

5/24 - 5/29  STEPS (Goal a week = At least 10,000 steps for 3 days)

FRIDAY:  18,294

SATURDAY:  9,763

SUNDAY:   1,058

MONDAY:  18,000

TUESDAY:  10,300

WEDNESDAY:  12,505

THURSDAY:  13,311

TOTAL:  83,231

LAST WEEK:  66,114

TW/LW Difference:  +17,117

Number of days I worked out:  3

Initial Weight (July 2007):  278

Last Week's Weight:  262.5

This Week's Weight:  265

WEEKLY LOSS:  Gain of 2.5 lbs

TOTAL LOSS:  12 lbs

Christ...  I have to believe some of this is muscle.  Even if I ate nothing but lard all week long, it's nearly impossible to gain 2.5 lbs in one week.  The good news is is that I'm feeling tighter and stronger since lifting weights and working out at the gym.  Hopefully, this will turn around soon.

9:32 AM - 12 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s a Chicago Cubs MIRACLE!!!!
Current mood: blah
Category: Sports

The Cubs won yesterday and Erin and I were there.  She saw her first Cubs win!!  WOOHOO!!!! 

When we were on the L heading downtown to my friend Sideshow's BBQ after the game, two guys in Navy uniforms turn to us and go, "Do you want tickets to tomorrow's game?"

"Really?  How much?" I ask.

"Don't worry about it," they said, "Some guy at the park gave us these free tickets at the game because we were in the Navy, but neither one of us is going to be back here.  Just take them."

REALLY?

I offered the guys money, but they both refused to take any.  So now Erin and I have free terrace reserved tickets on the 3rd base side for today's game.  Sweet ass sweet!!

It's a Cubs MIRACLE!

Currently listening : Chicago Cubs: Greatest Hits By Various Artists

7:12 AM - 10 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment