another update and merry christmas bitches :P
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life

the last couple weeks can be best summed up by two words. holy. shit.

it's been interesting, shall we say... got my first ticket on my bike on the 5th, then laid her down on the 6th (turning into an interview, patch of sand about 3" deep in the middle of a turn... that sucked but it was unavoidable) and then went up to NC to ride in the cold nights (and they were cold on the bike) and proceeded to have one of the greatest weeks in my life, including the best birthday I've had yet. i went up there the 8th and began my trip at the Kettle Diner, the old haunt for me and most of my friends up there, a 24-hour restaurant with good food and cheap coffee. At the Kettle, the first person I ran into was Yani, who had moved to VA and was one of the last people I expected to see.Then we went down to Heather's place (I stayed with my ex-fiancee and her new husband and son... could have been awkward, but it really wasn't very) and chilled out for a while til the babysitter Jessie rejoined us and we went out to Tarheel's, a country dance bar I used to hang out at a lot (mostly before I got real up with the karaoke) and had a great time. I ran into Sully there, the only buddy of mine that I was actually in with that I saw while in NC. Caught up with him and danced a bit and drank, but not all that much. We went to the kettle again when they closed, then went home and crashed out. On Sunday, Tim (heather's husband) came home from the field and we kicked it for a bit and got to know each other and i see he's pretty cool. Throughout the week that follows, I found a pair of places that had changed establishment since I was last there and were now pretty cool, met some new people and hung out and caught up with a bunch of my friends.

Thursday the 13th was my birthday. On the 12th after I left Alien Art body art shop (where I spent a lot of time with my boy Charles, who finally started tatting) and went up to Archie's, where my boy Jesster paid 10 bucks for me to get in ($5 for membership, $5 for cover charge) for nickel beer night, where I drank somewhere between 50 and 1000 beers (I have no idea) and my boys bought me a bunch of shots. Shortly after midnight, Jesster told the bartender it was my bday so they gave me a shot and when they closed I went with Jesster and some new friends over to one of their places and smoked out of a hatchet... tell me that aint a hell of a birthday gift for a juggalotus like me. we got pretty good and stoned and i made a contact for future business and then we went inside and watched goonies (for my first time stoned... what a great fuckin movie) and passed out. about 11ish we got up and left, had burger king for breakfast (lunch.. whatever) and he dropped me off at Archie's, where I had left my bike. I got on and rode down to Alien Art again, and proceeded to get a kickass tat from Charles. then we went out to hooligan's to dance some and drink, then up to anytime pool hall to hang out until they closed at 2 and heather and tim left. i stayed until about 3:30 with my peeps, and then some drama started that i don't want to go into right now. long story short i had a great time and met up with almost everyone i really wanted to.

perhaps most importantly though, i met up with Jenn just before I left. friday night i was at sharpshooters singing karaoke, the old friday night haunt that pretty much noone from the group hits up on a regular basis any more. Toyz showed up, which was great because I hadn't seen her yet and she was purported to be the only one who still had contact with Jenn. Jenn was one of the reasons I wouldn't have left NC in the first place, but she had left me a while back and wound up hooking up with the Don a while before I got out, which pissed me off but that's covered in earlier blogs (i.e. Is this what betrayal is supposed to feel like) and the was the last I'd heard of her... but she has my favorite shirt (a Led Zeppelin button-down that's pimptastic with a hat) and so if nothing else I wanted to get the shirt back. so I met up with her at the Kettle on the way to her new man's place and she didn't have time to go home and get my shirt, but it was still great to see her. I had already come to the conclusion in my mind that the main reason I was with Lyndsai was because she reminded me of Jenn, and it hit me how true that was when I sat with Jenn. It had also occurred to me that my relationship with Lyndsai might have been more for Jade than for herself... I've never met Jenn's son so I know that isn't the case. After I got back Jenn and I kept talking and she admitted that leaving me was a mistake and she wished I had never left... Well at this time Lyndsai and I were on the rocks and hadn't talked in sometime and I was pretty sure she was going to leave me but I wasn't sure so I explained the situation and that I still love her but was taken at the moment and so on. well this friday past (i got home on monday) i finally get a call from lyndsai, whom i hadn't heard from since the day before i left for NC. she says she's found someone else so I told her I was happy for her and hoped they had a good time... y'know, trying to be cordial. she apparently wanted me pissed off so she started comparing us and using him to put me down and eventually called me a liar. at this point i reacted as i always do and told her you don't have any fucking ground to call me a liar yada yada yada and she gets to fuck youing so as soon as I am done at the school takin care of my enrollment shit (still not done but getting close to it) i head down there for my shit and completely ignore her shit talking while i take everything out of there. it kind of hurt when she used jade against me but i kind of expected it too so it didn't really get to me but i took most of the shit over to the neighbors house (can't take a bookcase on a motorcycle) and basically told her to kiss my exhaust pipe when she started getting all up in my face. so jenn and i are now talking about getting together in a serious fashion which is great.

i've skipped a lot of really important details, but this is kinda longish as it is i suppose, so i'll sign off here. merry fucker, mother christmas's!

//the TweiK!

Currently listening : The Tempest By Insane Clown Posse Release date: 20 March, 2007

3:04 PM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

The difference
Current mood: crushed
Category: Writing and Poetry

All I ever wanted was to make you understand
I try to do the best I can to meet all your demands
I'd walk a thousand light years or swim across dry land
But nothing seems to turn out at all like what I had planned

You don't see what I'm doing, only what others have done
You don't hear what I'm saying, only hear the words I speak
You don't feel how I'm hurting, but there's nothing you can do
You don't know that I'm hurting only 'cause I failed you

I failed you and us and Jade
I failed all we could have made
I failed the mood that never stayed
I failed myself and left me dismayed

I can't blame you
It's the right thing to do
I can see where you're coming from and I'd do it too
But right now I feel
Something like a square wheel
And I'm forever sorry- this apology's for real

I know I'm just a fuck-up
And I aint got shit to give
But the gift I try to bring
Is to stop existing and to live

I know our lives are different
And so might be our ideals
And we'll surely react different
To the truth that time reveals

But all I want is you happy.
I want you. Happy.
But first, I want you happy.
So if me having you makes you unhappy
I want you happy
So I am gone

//the TweiK!

Currently reading : Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values By Robert M. Pirsig Release date: 25 April, 2006

8:36 PM - 10 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Another poem for you guys to title...
Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry

Ripping apart at the seams
Eating away at my dreams
Caught by hell and high water with naught between

Beginning to realize
My life is surrounded by lies
And god seems of the mindset to smack down all of us good guys

Fighting for every breath
Trying to save what is left
My heart beats continue yet every one feels bereft

Living without a direction
Denied the simplest confection
Life is sweet only to those who maintain convention

But I cannot live like that
I can't fit into the mass
I cannot
I will not
I shall not give in or crack

I am one man, one voice
I am one soul, one choice
I am one heart soaked in tears and forever moist

Maybe one day I will shine
And what I deserve will be mine
But until then I'll strike back at the passage of time

I watch all I care for slip away
Know that of course nothing gold can stay
My control of my life fading with the light of day

Call me Dan, Daniel or the TweiK!
I'll let you in on the truth that I seek
But every time I try you fight back and my resolve gets weak

We used to kick back and have fun
But it's faded away with the sun
We're already at each other's throats in less than a month

Maybe right now, right here
We can find and destroy what we fear
And work together for whatever to last through the years

But I am only one man, you see
And this project takes a team
One man alone cannot realize this dream

So I will give you what you desire
I will step away from my own moth's fire
And hope that time apart will bring us together and ever so higher

My resistance is of no use
They have said the TweiK! is truth
But in the end I can't pretend my heart won't lie down for you

This is what you have
I will continue to stand
But I'll eventually fall without you- after all, I'm just a man
================================================

If today wasn't shitty... I don't want to find out what is.

Lyndsai and I have been having some problems... not really arguing, 'cause neither of us is the arguing type... but getting on each other's nerves and dropping conversations because there is no point in continuing... silence, which was once golden, has now corroded and oxidized almost beyond recognition. I'm used to it, and as far as I'm concerned the good still outweighs the bad, but the scales are close to even. Hers are completely tipped. It might (well, probably does) have something to do with the fact that she is bipolar and going through one of her low points right now... and I'm sure I'm not helping, but I don't know how. What I do know is that she asked me to take a step back until she can get on meds again, which I will acquiesce to just as I have everything else she has asked... I also know that I already lost this blog once so I'm going to stop here before I lose it irretrievably... besides, I gotta get the fuck out of here and clear my head.

//the TweiK!

6:34 PM - 8 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

here it goes... (take a ride)
Current mood: enamored
Category: enamored Life

fair warning... it could be long and/or bumpy... and it may wander off course significantly... but it should be fun. strap in, adults please care that the children are securely fastened... everyone in, yes? then let's go.

* click *

*AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!*

ok sorry... told you it could wander. yeah.

i am no longer single.

and, oddly, am not very apprehensive to say that.

her name is lyndsai, her daughter's name is jade, and she has completely passed guard. love is a battlefield and i just got drafted. some shit like that. i'm high. another fair warning. so back to lyndsai...

i'll just start from the beginning i guess... she came in to work and me being 'your friendly neighborhood saver's man' we got to talking and really clicked. well last monday night i was goin' up to a bar with my dad for a jazz/blues open mic night where i met some cool cats called sick society, and we traded numbers, on my own part with full intent to pursue. they never called me, and the events that followed on my own part are rather interesting and i can not think of this fucking word right now for like a full minute so i'ma go on and let you figure it out. i called her on the way up there, because we had traded numbers earlier when i took her tv to her car on my lunch break and spent the rest of it talking to her. she couldn't come, because she didn't have a sitter for her daughter, but she invited me to come over after the bar closed, so when we got home after closing out the bar i got on the bike and rode down to her place. i got there at about 4 am, and rode home at about 6:45 am. the whole time we just talked and laughed and had a great time... so the next night i go over there again and we talked for about 7 hours... no breaks, her daughter was already asleep, neither of us even got up to piss. yeah... cool shit. serious clickage. well, let's simplify and put it this way. i'm home tonight, she dropped me off at work at 3:00 pm. tomorrow she will pick me up after tkd, at about 9-9:30 pm. since we met last monday, this is the first time we have spent 24 hours away from each other. we havent slept much, but it's all been conversation. or comfortable silence. it's been great. her daughter is a wonder, smart as hell, and when she's good she's great but when she's bad she's bad... i know i sound like a flake for saying that because i don't have any kids but whatever. but she is a bundle of joy, 3 years old and absolutely beautiful. and she likes me too, which is always good. i'm gonna spring a leak and eat some grub... i shall return shortly. faster for you than for me :P

i'm back that was good. so yeah... lyndsai and i are together now, i kissed her after a while and from there we just kind of sprung (fuck you eHarmony, eat my balls) and i like our chances.

other happenings as of late... interesting observation that i made while returning from my beloved twiztid concert (which had gotten fucking canceled! piss me the fuck off) i was still painted up and i was pissed so i didn't talk to anyone  and most of the white people just looked and said wtf or whatever, but the minorities seemed to make a topic of conversation out of me if they were traveling with another, and a few people who were not. not that i give a shit, but it was ubiquitous enough that i noticed.

i am looking forward to saturday. i got my first martial arts tournament ever (tae kwon do, itf style) in the early afternoon, and then a kickass party that night with some good friends and lyndsai. good times all around. but i am dead-shit tired at the moment, i guess the ride didn't get too horribly long... lucky you.

g'night

//the TweiK!

Currently watching : Discovery Channel’s - Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe: Volume 3 Sewer Inspector / Pig Farming / Ostrich Farming

10:25 PM - 14 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

working title
Current mood: writer’s-blocked
Category: writer’s-blocked Writing and Poetry

if you asked me now
to find a way to be at your side

i could

if you told me then
to be everything you need

i could

if you needed me
to do anything at all

i could

if you were with me
and asked me to give you the world

i could

if you were with me
and asked me to leave it all behind

i could

if you wanted me
to change the pace of time

i could

if you desired that
i change your frame of mind

i could

if you ever thought
i might be your one and all

i could

if you tried to see
but couldn't focus your eyes

i could

if you tried to hear
but couldn't get past the lies

i could

if you are lookng for
someone to heal your heart

i could

if you are looking for
someone to help the hurt

i could

... this was a lot better in my head...

discontinued 'cause i can't even put together another stanza... or line for that matter... the idea is there just not working... something about attaining perfection if you thought i could... then i could... or maybe if you wanted me to love you... i already do... or something... i dunno... this one failed miserably.

now i have to think of which is a better title, I Could or Failed Poem... ok... vote! :P i need input on the title for this piece, those are my two nominations, but the winner by comment-vote will be the title. and one person has two votes (the person for whom it was written... already knows who she is, methinks.)

so, yeah... uh, i'm out of... words. (damn you for cursing me loree rofl)

//the TweiK!

Currently listening : Celestial Entrance By Pagan’s Mind Release date: 18 March, 2003

5:07 PM - 12 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

been debating it for a while but meh what the hell
Current mood: mellow
Category: Games

i was on wikipedia (did i mention i LOVELOVELOVE wikipedia?) searching the random articles pages when, following a link from a link in the subset of a link i followed from a random article page, i stumbled across another web-based MMORPG that's turn-based and (more importantly) free. just like the reincarnation, which i believe i've blogged about before. it's linked on my profile anyways. click here if you want to know more about the reincarnation. but this is better. it takes less time per day (which is good and bad, but multi-ing is allowed at kol to a greater extent than tr.) oh i guess i just dropped the bomb there but yep, kol= Kingdom of Loathing, the new game i found. it's easier than tr, but it's also infinite build. which i like. but it has an ascension factor, which is like remort, which was something i really liked when playing muds (i used to MUD a lot... which will be a separate blog, or on the end of this one, depends how high i am when i get there) but i think the most important thing that really beats tr is that kol (a TLA i like :P) has a built-in chat function. tr requires an IRC browser, which is a pain since you commonly have two windows open of your browser, and one is usually full-screen (at least i did) because that game also requires a lot more concentration and active participation. in KoL you can be good by doing very little, so i just open a couple tabs and back-and-forth. and even that is not required, i just like to know more :P so yeah about the game... it's really, really funny. almost everything in the game is a quirky refernce to an object of pop cultre, some more obscure than others, but put together in a way that is easy to learn, fun to play, and hilarious all the way through (and no, i didn't get paid to say that rofl maybe i should have) but yeah. i think you would all like it, specifically because you like my writings... please click here to try it and send me a message (send to psykodell) with who you are and i'll help ya gettin' started. i'm a week in and almost to my first ascension which usually takes 13-20 days, sometimes as low as 10. yeah check it out. it is now 11:41, and rollover starts at 11:30 so it might be done by now but noone would be on chat yet i use my turns around 12ish so i got 20 minutes, 19, well 18 now, to explain MUDs. this could get long (sorry) but this would be a good place to stop and come back if you're getting tired. rofl. if you leave, please do come back.

a major part of my life was occupied by MUDs once, twice, three times at least. when i was playing my first MUD, Valhalla, once and always the greatest the world has ever known, i was known to throw a temper tantrum when i died. i think i nearly went into shock once. i'm not kidding. but i was just beginning my addiction when valhalla went defunct, so i kept going. my dad, who had introduced me to valhalla (and thus, to the world of MUD) tried a couple but since valhalla was the best, he gave up when nothing was as good. where go anywhere from the best, right?

well i kept searching and i found dreams MUD after a while playing others that were inconsequential because i never cared for them, just tried 'em. but dreams had something special, the remort system. basically, you pick one class, get to level 50, pick another class and go back to lvl 1, keeping everything from the last 50 but losing half your max hp/mana/moves (basically, makes the game easier but not-too-easy) and get to lvl 100. then you remort again, picking either a third class or a new class, hero, once again keeping money, skills, equipment, and half points, and adventure to lvl 150. from there, you can keep adventuring to gain levels (which give max hp/mana/moves, trains and pracs, so you get all the skills you have maxed and then use trains and pracs for points) and when you have 250000 (yes, 250k... average fresh lvl 150 has about 3000, gain about 50 per lvl) max hp you can take the legend quest, which is a one-time quest- you pass, or you are pwiped. but succeeding in the quest (which you have to be chosen for) grants you the legend class, and every skill in the game. but you could also choose not to remort. i don't think anyone ever did... but anyways, MUDders sometimes get really close to one another if they play together often, and such was the case with me and my MUDparents, roxy and kilane. roxy was a god, kilane a legend. i was lvl 134. i music'd skinnamarink my dink is pink but after sex it's blue (hey) i fucked you (and your sister too) which, granted, sounds bad, but it actually fit in the discussion. well she sent me to the death room for it, with no warning. three times. everytime you die, you lose half your experience. but yo be death-roomed three times guarantees the loss of your corpse. everything you have is on your corpse, and if you can't get it back you're shit outta luck unless you have backup. well i quit. then and there. stumbled across dark wizardry. and the fun began.

dark wizardry had a class system i really liked. i've always been drawn to multiclass (valhalla didn't have it, i'll never play another single-class again) but i'd never seen a simultaneous multiclass system that was any good. dw had it. excuse me while i go make a smoothie :P mm mm good. so anyways, in dw there were 5 classes, and everyone was all of them. whatever class you picked when you created your character, you started out as 1 in that one, 0 in the other 4. diagram of how the levels worked b/t classes:
class    1     2     3     4    5
mult     1     2     5     5   10
total            2    10   50 500

and to stop everyone from being the same, when you got lvl 40 in your primary class (40 is class max) you got an extra-class based on that combination (my first char, psykodell, was a 40 war/ 35 thi= assassin. whisky was a 40 cle/ 35 thi= necromancer)when you were 40/40/40/35/35, you became a lord and got a second extra-class, your choice of any but the one that's both 35s (psykodell was 190 (40/40/40/35/35) but not yet considered a lord because i never got the first level of my second ec, which was gonna be necro. then dw died) and at hero (lvl 200, 40/40/40/40/40) you could still adventure and get equipment but you couldn't level anymore.

dw was the first one i brought friends to. there were three, and they all dug it, but only on the 'meh.' scale. which is cool and all, i get it, but i wasn't there so i had to start a new char to keep with them (hence, whisky. and kaltrowe. and yog. and cofeo. i had 5 chars on dw, all different levels. and i only ever wanted to play psykodell because he was the main guy. i really liked whisky once he hit necro but i was still with psyk tryin' to get him up. that's why i was goin for necro at lord tho. but an aside, little factoid to show you how death sucks. my first necro lvl with psyk was 800000000 xp. 800 million. takes at least a month of constant playing, if you're good and your character is good and you go in with a lot of money. i knew the game by then but that was my first character and picking assassin was a mistake noone warned me about, which was really cool at lower levels because i could use hero weapons at 135 but as those weapons became more commonplace at higher levels i realized my skills were rather limited other than that. my mistake, i dealt with it, but that was there. i had 799,516,728 once. died. remember, you lose half your xp when you die. took me 2 months to go from 100 mil to almost lvl (2 more kills woulda done it, 5 if i went the easy way) and half of it was gone. well after getting back down to 150 mil (i died 27 times on that lvl, not counting the ones where i lost less than 100 mil) i got up to 808 mill. and died. on my way to get my lvl. that sucked. shortly after that dw died. and part of me with it. i looked around, but what valhalla was for single class (the be-all and end-all), dark wizardry was for multiclass. so i was kinda sol.

while i had been playing dw a friend of mine through there, monique (LadyWolf on the MUD) started a mud of her own, maranatha, and offered me a slot building. i accepted, and was diggin maran, which was comin into fruition as dw shut down, but it kind of trailed off without really beginning. so i pretty much decided to quit MUDding, but still have some dw friends on my aim, so i started getting rumors that someone was restarting dw. turns out some guy who had just started (i had been playing dw about 4 years when it died) had really liked the system and talked to enigma (who was the head honco on dw) and gotten the sourcecode, and was keeping it but making major changes (but only those approved by players) and *adding a remort system* remember what i loved about dreams? i was lovin' it. it was now called 1001ad, run by completely new people (e had nothing to do with it, none of the immstaff was the same, and i was one of only like 10 players who carried over, the only one long enough to ec) the remort system never came to be but they did add a lot of new areas and a lot of other aspects to the game and fixed some major pains in the ass. and this time psykodell was a necro from the start, and was about to lord when 1k1 died. and i gave up looking.

then MH-18 turned me on to archmage, and i started playing. then i joined the marine corps, and didn't have an hour or two, twice a day, to devote to the game. i can't stand the slower servers, which can be once a day or once every 1 1/2 days. so i quit for a while. then i get out of the marine. i have the time. so i go back to archmage, only now it's the reincarnation. and all the strategies have changed. had to relearn the game. takes too much though.

so i'm at KoL. join me, won't you? give it 3 days. i bet you'll love it.

//the TweiK!

Currently listening : Like a Prayer By Madonna Release date: 25 October, 1990

8:22 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

INS, SSA, DDL abd other TLAs I CFS
Current mood: productive
Category: Life

(Immigration and Naturalization Services, Social Security Administration, Depatrment of Driver's Licenses, and other three letter acronyms I can't fucking stand)

So, finally getting the ID thing under control... went to the USCIS office (US Citezenship and Naturalization Services, which is the new moniker INS goes by) to get the whole biometrics appointment thing taken care of (that's where I get picture and fingerprints taken for me new green card... I finally got my appointment letter, which is suposed to take 30 days, on 17 August. I filed on 13 November. My appointment was for 27 May.) and not only did I get a walk-in with biometrics (but I had to go to a different building where they actually take them) I also got a temporary green card (TGC). I'm told that it will be sufficient to get my license and social security card (SSC) replaced.

So I go from USCIS to the biometrics office (No TLA) and they wormed me in at the end of the day. They also tell me I can leave and come back, since they won't get me in before 3 ad it's only 11:30. I go get some Denny's and come back at 2:20ish. As I walk in, they call my name. Good timing! :P

My appointment takes all of about 15 minutes, and I'm told I'll recieve my card in 30-60 days (the permanent one.) This was last week.

Monday, I went to SSA to get my SSC, but after waiting in line for about 3 hours I am told that I need 2 forms of ID, so I need to go to the DDL and get my license replaced, which I'll be able to do with just the TGC. (About 30 minute walk)

So, off the to Orance County Courthouse (OCC) to go to the DDL. About 10 minutes standing in line there, and I get to the counter where I am told that I have an outstanding ticket on my record and can't get my license back 'til that's taken care of. So I wait another 45 minutes to get to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) counter and ask what's up, 'cause last time I was there I spent a whole paycheck making sure all my tickets were paid off. Turns out, the driving class I had gone to (to eliminate points and save money on a ticket) had not completed the follow-up paperwork with the DMV. In hindsight, I should have taken care of that myself rather than trusting the class to. So I paid $48.20 to just pay off the rest of the fine (after spending $35 on the class.)

As I finish up with the DMV counter, they close the DDL counter for the day (at 4:30.) I rush over there to see if they might take me, but am denied. No biggie. I ask if I'll be able to come back tomorrow and get it or if there's anything else in my way, and am told that I have to go to the DMV in Kissimmee because that's the source of the correspondence (her word) on my file.

I never got a ticket in Kissimmee. Kissimmee is in Osceola county. Why in the hell do I need to go to Kissimmee?

Anyways, just thought I'd share exactly how stupid our goverment is.

On the brighter side, I am making progress and searching for another job (Saver's is getting ridiculous... this week I was only scheduled for 10.5 hours.)

And Hate Me by Blue October is a really, really, really great song.

//the TweiK!

Currently listening : Foiled By Blue October Release date: 04 April, 2006

2:46 PM - 12 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment

An addendum.
Current mood: high
Category: Life

i'm going to do a separate post so those of you who read the first already can skip the scroll involved :P

i guess it doesn't really follow the first that well but a friend left me a pinch of some really good stuff so i'm pretty good right now and just wanted to share that earlier i had the tv on classic rock music channel and was groovin' to Paradise by the Dashboard Lights by Meat Loaf, awesome song, Bat Out of Hell, awesome album. But it's been comin' back to me all day 'cause one of my earliest memories is a school talent competition in like 5th grade or something where me and this chick i liked karaoke'd the song... i got my ass rode so hard for that and it didn't work rofl! but i had fun anyways... always more partial to I Would do Anything for Love but I was going to paradise and groovin and thought of a proposal- ur singin' the song and already have the dj ready to cut it short right at the end of the first duet verse, when he says "And I'll love ya forever!" and pop the ring...

so yeah... i'm goin to bed. gnight! catch you on the flip (and my nails are getting to be a pain in the ass i keep hittin' the bloody capslock when i sign off.)

//the TweiK!

Currently listening : Bat out of Hell By Meat Loaf Release date: 30 January, 2001

10:39 PM - 6 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

I doubt you expect this one (kinda long)
Current mood: intimidated
Category: Life

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Your September Horoscope by Susan Miller

Sagittarius Horoscope for September 2007
By Susan Miller
September marks a very big moment. Like the actor waiting in the wings about to go out on the stage, you may have a few butterflies in your stomach, but pay no attention. The audience is in their seats, the orchestra is starting up, and the curtain is rising. You are about to see your defining moment, upon which everything else will be based.
The actions you take now and in months to come in your career will change the course of years to come, and possibly affect your whole life. Indeed, you are now embarking on your excellent adventure, and the momentum you build up now will carry you swiftly forward. Your timetable will move faster than you ever thought possible, so tear up your old plan - the universe is putting you on a skateboard!
For the first time since 1977-1980, Saturn will enter your career sector on September 2, and remain there for two years, until October 29, 2009. You only get to host Saturn in your career house two or possibly three times in your life (since Saturn takes 29 years to circle the zodiac), so the coming two years will be remarkably important.
Very soon, you will take on a very responsible position, one that will require all the concentration that you've got to give. It is a job that will require long hours, much devotion, and a great deal of detail. You will need to be very organized, for Saturn is in Virgo, and being buttoned up will count. This is no low level job. You will be at the helm, making policy, creating the experience, and being the one with the plate that reads "The buck stops here" on your desk.
Think of what you are entering into now as an apprenticeship, one where you will need to learn and master much. There will be new rules, standards, and qualifications to conform to, and that will require a stretch. You won't do your job all alone, as there will be at least one older, more experienced person hovering over you to assure you don't misstep.
Your profile in the industry will be very high, so at times you will feel as if you are on display. In a way, you will be, but it is in these precise types of situations that you do your best. Saturn requires an all-or-nothing devotion to your quest, and if you cope well with the coming challenges, you will reach the very echelons of your industry and turn yourself into a true force to be reckoned with. This would happen by Saturn's departure, October 2009, your "graduation day" from cosmic career boot camp.
You want this opportunity so badly that you'd trade all the tea in China to have it, and so it will be yours. The position may represent a complete career switch from what you've been doing, as Saturn's move over the mid-heaven usually creates that type of situation. For some the switch won't be sudden but gradual, perhaps where you do two jobs until the second job (where your heart lies) becomes so big that you have to give up your formerly main line of income for the new one, for that's where your destiny lies.
To be sure you notice that all this is going on, you will have a solar eclipse on September 11 that will set all this in motion. Watch what happens during the week that follows that eclipse, for that's when news should be forthcoming. If you hear nothing, then look to what happens on October 11, plus or minus five days, as sometimes an eclipse will deliver its news one month to the day later, plus or minus four days.
Try to make major decisions in September, as in October, Mercury, the planet of communication, perception, research, negotiation, and contracts, will be retrograde from October 11 - 31. Don't try to work in early October, however, as the whole month of October will be a bit haywire.
I suggest you make your agreements in September or wait until November if you can't settle things now. September 12 or 13 could be positive days to sign papers this month, thanks to a supportive blend of Mercury and Jupiter. In November, I like the new moon November 9. Don't act before that date, nor much after - I want you to have a strong Mars behind you, not one that's retrograde, and that will happen November 15.
Eclipses stir the pot and speed up the timetable much more than you'd have thought possible or even reasonable. No matter - the universe is in a hurry so at times you will feel as though there is a hand on your back, pushing you ever forward.
You have been telling friends that you have wanted to do this for months - now it is all happening so quickly, you may feel like you're on a rollercoaster ride, with stunning dips and dizzying highs. Saturn doesn't create this kind of feeling, but eclipses often do. The thing to keep remembering is that you not only CAN pull this off, but you WILL make an enormous success of this venture. Saturn will give you the self-discipline, the focus, and the steady devotion you need to do so. Later, you will garner much respect for what you've created.
Not everything will be easy. Unpredictable Uranus will be opposite the Sun at the time, so you will have to be ready for some unexpected problems on the road to Oz.
A male could suddenly leave the equation and if so, this would be a high level VIP you depended on to help you through this process. This isn't necessarily going to happen, but it could with a solar eclipse - if it does, it will be a reminder that you will have to have contingency plans in place. Life is dynamic, so you will soon see you can't control every piece of your puzzle.
Alternatively, it could be something going on at home that happens out of the blue - news about your father or other prominent male in your family could be a shocking surprise. This will divide your energies between home and work for a while, so you will have a lot to handle. This is not coming at a good time but that's life, and sometimes this happens.
Many Sagittarius have found that their living situation has been in flux for a very long time, too, ever since Uranus entered Sagittarius' fourth house of home in 2003. If that describes you, you may have had to make a quick decision about your present housing situation or other property. Or, you may have had to have a discussion or plan about someone you live with, such as a roommate or family member. All this came up at the lunar eclipse late last month, on August 28.
If you settled things, you will be all set, but if not, there will be one more eclipse in this same area of your chart, to practically the same mathematical degree, on February 21, 2008. At that time you will be required to do so.
Mars is now in Gemini and moving through your partnership sector, so it appears you have a partner (or more than one partner) or an agent, representative, or a middleman to represent you. This person is currently playing a large role in things, and you will need to listen to this person's ideas and acknowledge them. When Mars is opposite the Sun, or opposite the rising sign (if you have Sagittarius rising) as you do now, partners want an equal voice. You won't have full control over how things are planned, so the key here is to collaborate rather than insist that all things go your way.
If you don't have a partner, it could be that your spouse or steady love will be very vocal, perhaps because he or she is jealous of all the time you are spending on the job (or all the acclaim you are about to get.) You will need to find a way to humor your partner, as this new work-related focus won't be going away anytime soon. You have the tiger by the tail in your career, and it would be insane to let it go!
One day when you may have an all-out disagreement with a partner is September 21, when Mars will oppose Pluto, and this is an explosive aspect. This is no day to try to settle a hot question, for talks would not go well, to say the least. (I would avoid the days leading up to this day, too.)
On September 28 Mars will leave your partnership sector and set you off on a six-month focus on finances, to last until May 9, 2008. The house that will be so strongly lit will be the house of "other people's money." This is a huge upcoming trend and one you will notice, absolutely.
You may need money, and the kind of money you will be seeking is money you will need to fund a big dream. If you want to buy a house, you may start to shop for a mortgage. If you want to go to graduate school, you'll need to fill out financial aid forms to come up with tuition money. If you want to start your own business, you may need venture capital. These are just examples of the types of money you would need, but you get the idea. This is money outside of your personal income, often money that is borrowed because it is beyond the reach of anyone's normal savings or other resources.
We will talk more about this area of your chart in the coming months, but suffice to say that money will be a driving focus for a long time to come. I am not sure why it will go all the way to May 2008, but perhaps reading this, you already know what it might be. I will say that Mars will go retrograde on November 15 through January 31, so that period would not be a good time to go after cash. You may have to revise your plan at that time, or be patient while you await word until Mars goes direct on January 31.
Your expenses will be very high during that phase, so if you are not funding a big idea, there is a danger that you would put too much on your credit cards. Debt would climb very rapidly. You will need to keep a close eye on all your expenditures - save all receipts and have an accounting system in place. Some of the money you may be spending is money that isn't yours, but borrowed, so you will want to keep control.
With all this career talk happening, you will crave a little private romantic time too, and happily, the universe understands. You are being sent a glorious full moon, September 26, to light your house of true love. Get set for moonlight and magic, dear Sagittarius. This will fall on a Wednesday, but all full moons have a plus or minus four days attached to it, so that means that things could happen over the following weekend, September 28 or 29. This will be your very best moment in the month for love.
If your birthday falls on or close to November 25, you will benefit most from this beautiful, tender full moon.
With Mars now in your partnership sector, you may decide to get engaged this month, with a beautiful winter-white wedding planned for your birthday month, December - a great idea! My friends in Australia and New Zealand and Africa, forgive me - it will be spring in December. That also sounds bewitching!
Venus will turn direct orbit on September 8 after having been retrograde for two months. While Venus was retrograde, love may have seemed a bit lackluster, but no more! Lucky you, Venus will remain in fellow fire sign Leo all month, so this will allow Venus to ratchet up your love life in delightful ways. Travel taken this month will be especially sweet.
Not only will Venus turn direct this month, but so will Pluto, at almost the same time, on September 7. Pluto is not your ruler, so normally you wouldn't pay much attention to its orbit, but since Pluto has been traveling through Sagittarius since 1995 and will finish up its tour next year, this planet has had a major influence.
You have had years of tutoring from Pluto, the ultimate power planet, and you are getting ready to put all this knowledge into action. It's clear you have your priorities straight, so there's no reason to hold back. You are about to be completely transformed, dear Sagittarius. Are you ready for your new life? As said, the curtain is about to go up! You are about to be center stage!
Romance will be best this month on: September: 8, 13 (great!), 17 - 18, 22 - 23, plus gold star days, September 26 - 30.
Summary:
Life has become quite exciting and soon it will look very different, from top to bottom.
Late last month, at the lunar eclipse August 28, you may have come to a decision about how to handle an unstable living situation or a matter related to a close family member. Just as you will begin to get used to all the news spinning around you, you will also hear surprising news, about a career matter. It will come as a result of the coming solar eclipse, September 11. Watch the week that follows that eclipse, but also note what happens one month to the day later, October 11.
Although you may not feel ready, you will need to be anyway, for you will be swept forward with increasing momentum. You'll need time to adjust, and although that can feel daunting initially, as time goes by, you'll be glad you had the courage to barrel forward and dive into all the opportunities being presented now. At times you may become concerned that you can't possibly hold all this together but you WILL and show the world what you're made of in the process. Letting go of what we find familiar is always a bit daunting, but you are an explorer and an adventurer at heart, so if anyone is up to this new role, it's you!
Your new professional position will represent a major step up, one that would take two years to fully master, but one that would provide you room to grow and evolve. This is no low-level spot. You may report to the top boss, or you may BE the top boss.
The job you will take on will be so new that it may be considered a radical career switch. At the end of the apprenticeship that you will need to fully understand all the facets of this position, you will have made quite a big name for yourself. Admittedly, your new position will require long hours and plenty of sweat equity, but would be something you want and will be passionate about doing. Planets in Virgo suggest that you will need to be very detailed and organized, but Saturn will help you be that and more. You're ready for a change and you want this career opportunity - you'd go through brick walls to see it happen. Your time has come!
Eclipses are harbingers of change, and should you find that you don't like some of the changes that are shaping up, you won't quite be able to go back to your old life. That life is behind you, and you are now shutting the door on that part of your life. What you can do if you find you don't like your new position is to make more changes up ahead. You can eventually make all these shifts you want and maneuver things precisely as you like them.
Amid all this, you need to have a little fun. At the glorious and tender full moon on September 26, love will be as you've always imagined it to be, especially if you are single and looking for love. If you are attached, you may have had some problems with a partner who seems cranky because he or she feels neglected in all that has been happening for you, but these problems are truly are minor. By month's end you will have ironed out the little problems, and you'll see that you are growing closer every day.
Despite the little glitches that come up on your way down the yellow brick road, life feels wonderful.

Currently reading : Hamlet By William Shakespeare edited By Edward Hubler Release date: 1987

5:19 PM - 16 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Romance and Relationships

so, since eharmony.com is doing the free-talk weekend thingdeal, I decided to give her a try... spent about 45 minutes creating my profile... and this is what I get back:

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

You can still receive your free Personality Profile by clicking  here.

Currently reading : Ultrametabolism: The Simple Plan for Automatic Weight Loss By Mark Hyman Release date: 10 March, 2006

7:15 PM - 16 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

epiphanetic paragraph
Current mood: high
Category: Life

During the first part of your life, you only become aware of happiness once you have lost it. Then an age comes, a second one, in which you already know, at the moment you begin to experience true happiness, that you are, at the end of the day, going to lose it. When I met Esther I understood that I had just entered this second age. I also understood that I hadn't reached the third age, in which anticipation of the loss of happiness prevents your from living.

Thus begins Sex With Esther by Michel Houellebecq (p. 67, Playboy Magazine April 2006) an article which I have read many times and that paragraph always strikes me. It sets the tone for the entire article (which is fiction) and it gets very explicit and erotic but always maintains seriousness throughout. But it's more than a mood setter, it's a profoundly deep statement that really hits close to home for me. I think I've graduated to that third age sometimes... most of the time... I dunno. Anyways, it's better written than I would have thought of and it illuminates a portion of my personality that some of you have asked about rather more clearly than I could have.

Just thought I'd share.

Catch you on the flip,

//the TweiK!

Currently watching : Dress to Kill Release date: 26 November, 2002

11:14 AM - 10 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

UFC 74 and other ramblings
Current mood: blah
Category: Life

so anyways, there I was...

for those of you who know me, you can finish it :P

but yeah... no work this weekend... wait i suppose i never did blog that i got a job huh? it's only 7.27/hour but hey i'll take what i can get. i like the job and most of my coworkers, just wish i could get some more hours (they got me scheduled in mid-20's weekly... that just ain't enough at that low wage y'know?) but it's cool.

i've also been takin' the bike out a bit, which is great... i'm starting to get more familiar with shifting with the foot and leaning in the turns at low speed so it's becoming more natural. i love that fucking bike!

so yeah... went out to a bar last night and watched UFC 74... man was that top card a fight or what? if i had been in a position where i could have afforded to lose money, i would have done so... i called george and randy winning, but all three of the undercards i would have lost. oh well, still a good time. i realized, once again, that i really hate playing fifth wheel though.

i was out w/ my dad, his gf (Teri), her son (Matt), and his gf (Candy, who is fine as hell)... and me being single... kinda sucked... but i figured still better than being cooped up at home. and once the waitress got my order right, i found out mug shots has some damn good nachos. their wings are pretty good too. and they had a special on bud select on tap. normally i drink it bottled (tap i tend to drink yuengling) but since it was a 22-oz draft for less than a 12-oz bottle, i went with the better value.

boys and girls, it's hot outside. i just rode downtown to pick up a new bus pass and when i stopped at them red lights it was like BAM!

welcome to florida in august. no shit it's hot, right?

anyways...

i suppose i'm kinda rambling here... just bored... might head up to trizzy's w/ dad l8r, they have an open mic blues thingdeal every sunday... i went with him about 3 or 4 weeks ago and it was cool... got up to do a song and it sucked... i'm no good at blues... but i still enjoy it.

Matt's a lyricist too, and not bad either... he's got a setup at home but I dunno if we'll ever work together... just kind of a strained vibe between us... can't explain it he seems cool enough it's just weird.

Then again what the hell do I know?

well this is getting kinda long so I'll bounce here...

catch you on the flip

//the TweiK!

Currently watching : AVP - Alien vs. Predator (Two-Disc Collector’s Edition) Release date: 22 November, 2005

12:34 PM - 10 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Burning the midnight oil from both ends
Current mood: tired
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Well here I sit because sleep has eluded my grasp yet again, and while laying abed my wandering mind decided to abandon itself on a remote desert island with 6 other people. Sound familiar?

So I got to thinking, who would I want to be with me? And my answers, I'd like to think, are far from the average. Here's my list, presented in the order in which they would die (and why:)

*disclaimer* assumed qualities of this island are a lack of food and a very very small chance of rescue.

1. Al Roker (when he was still fat)


Why? Because he's fat... and of no real use to society. Hence, we kill and eat him. Some people would say bring Bear Grylls along. As much as I love him, he brings a camera crew with him, and even Bear would have trouble feeding 7 people. So bring Al. He'll feed the 6 that are left for a good week or so, properly prepared. Hey, this is a survival situation here people.

2. Rush Limbaugh


Again, fat and making no significant contribution to society. Between Al and Rush, I figure we got enough food for at least two weeks.

3. Alfonso Ribiero


Hey, we'll want to laugh. I'm not a comedian... I can be funny sure, even most of the time, but I'm not that good. I figure me and Ribiero can bounce off one another and have a good time. And his disappearance wouldn't matter much in the grand scheme, 'cause since Fresh Prince we've gone to Dancing... what's next? Maybe it's better not to find out.

4. Britney Spears


She's hot. And ruining music. So if I do get rescued, the world is a better place. If not, at least I got a good view (and, if we're stranded on an island, I effectively am the last man on Earth...)

5. Lindsay Lohan


Much the same reason as Britney.

6. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen


Only because it's a two-fer, but again... not really doing anything... hot...

Out of the last four (Mary-Kate, Ashley, Lindsay, and Britney) the death order depends, of course, on who lets me hit it... that way I can go out having a good time too. This is listed in the order they would be if all or none were down for the cause. Specifically, because Britney really does need to die. Soon.

Catch you on the flip!

//the TweiK! ((is off to bed, and hopefully sleep. G'Night!))

Currently listening : The Tragically Hip By The Tragically Hip Release date: 19 October, 2004

12:39 AM - 12 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Once Again I Realize...
Current mood: impressed

So I was flipping through channels, since nothing I wanted to watch was on (Blue Planet was on Discovery, which normally I would watch but just didn't feel like it, and History channel was doing an Ice Road Truckers marathon today... which, sure cool show... tough job... but I'm not into Reality TV. That's a lot better than most, but I still don't watch it.) So I actually scrolled on for quite a while, and got to the movie channels (the non-subscription ones that actually come like 300 channels after HBO, 'cause we got no preemies) and saw Romeo + Juliet.

Now, I remember when it came out (so obviously, we're talking about the newer one, 1998) and I remember hearing, and for the most part agreeing, that Elizabethan ennglish does not belong with guns and cars. But I just started reading Hamlet at work, so I had Shakespeare on the mind and decided to watch it, despite the fact it got panned like the rivers in California in '49 when it came out. I also remembered that when it came out, I had intended to see it regardless of those reviews, but the girl (Crystal) I wanted to take to see it (coincidentally, the same one I did take to see Titanic, which I also watched recently and thoroughly enjoyed) would give me no quarter. But I digress.

I also did not realize that John Leguizamo is in this movie. Now, John Leguizamo is not someone who immediately pops into my head when I think of my favorite actors. But he should. Everything I've seen him in, whether or not the movie was good, he was. Always a five-star performance... from To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar and Empire to Spawn and Romeo + Juliet. And I used to profess a level of disdain for Leonardo DiCaprio which was totally undeserved. I thoroughly enjoyed Catch Me If You Can before I realized Titanic was actually good, and though I haven't seen The Man in the Iron Mask, I will not officially reverse my opinion and give Leo his props. The man can act. Not my favorite (Which is still Keifer Sutherland) but he is now up on the list of those who can draw my attention.

On another note, I saw What Women Want again last night, which I had simply forgotten how good it was in the years since I last saw it.

But back to the blog. I have once again realized... that tastes vary, the crowd is usually wrong, and life is better lived against the grain than with it.

As if any of us needed a reminder :P

//the TweiK! ((didn't watch it on DVD, but still))

Currently watching : William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet (Special Edition) Release date: 12 March, 2002

8:00 PM - 18 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

Anyone know who the Patron Saint of go fuck yourself is?
Current mood: infuriated
Category: Life

There seems to be one for everything... I'd really like to know, if anyone has the info...

//the TweiK!

Currently watching : This Is Spinal Tap (Special Edition) Release date: 12 September, 2000

10:07 PM - 12 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment