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Mr. Brent Downes

Last Updated:
Sep 4, 2008

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Gender: Male
Status: Engaged
Age: 23
Sign: Libra

City: Brisbane
State: Queensland
Country: AU

Signup Date: 05/31/06

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August 30, 2008 - Saturday

Prelude
Category: Writing and Poetry

Author's Note: I hate the Magic Mirror in fairytales. When something already knows the end and/or can affect the outcome to their wishes, what is the point of a fairy tale in the first place. The same problem poses itself with the idea of an all-knowing and all-powerful God (REF: Dante's "Paradise" and Milton's "Paradise Lost") what is the point of creating a creature with free-will if that free will, ultimately, is under the control of a passive-aggressive narcissist. Similar to people trapped in their own narratives, if you know where you are going, whats the point. Like the girl who attempted to steal my hat some nights ago in passing, I am not part of your narrative, not some story you tell, not part of the vast fabric of text and non-text where you see yourself. I have broken the mirror, defied god and weaved my own strange music which heeds nothing, remembers nothing but hears and sees everything, it never expects its end nor attempts to craft it, it simply drifts in time as breath drifts from my body." B.D


"Prelude"

"All in all,
You're just another brick in the wall" -
Pink Floyd

SO then we have come to
a great aged circumstance
eleven and a half hours from spring
and my song
as yet
will not be sung
by SO THIS and SO THAT and SO THERE.

And without a care
I haved moved
to beside you, before you
inside and within you
and without you
I miss your smell on my skin.
But with you
I became sin
I became a luscious angel
I became grey clouds
Seraphim.

I think
in the romance
that they named 'schizophrenia'
we were locked
at the horns, at the loins
and among a gallery of future places.
Locked in combat at five places.

Morning has come and there are blood droplets on the pillowcase.
And you wept
because the gold that glittered yesterday
is now in the rooms of taxcounters
who weigh each gram of our love
and write vast letters to GODs editorial column.

I wash my hands
trim my beard
and look at spring coming in
eleven hours and fifteen minutes.

I wish
that the sky
knew my limits.

_

7:20 PM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

August 26, 2008 - Tuesday

Lines on Evening
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Echo or mirror seeking of itself
And makes a toy of Thought."
Samuel Taylor Coleridge




Lines on Evening

Here I have mocked the ring of stars
and the diamond bejeweled heavens gate
which has its no thoroughfare sign marked
in the sign of all
the dead ends.

Here I have marked the skins of evening
with wicked calligraphy
and left my fingerprint smudged on the clean skin of a woman
just beneath her lips.

Here, under cover of darkess
while distant stars wore only their shrouds of black clouds
here, under nights diamonte' and silver gilded eye
here my skin, I pressed to the skin of another and we made love
to the beat of nightbird wings and bats gliding vast
casting only shadows in the streetlamps
where we kissed
with wine glasses in hand.

...

I have been following
for sometime
the wakes left by lovers through a sea of night.
I can smell
the perfume
and taste
each droplet of sweat from a brow whose curves seemed like some devil in the half-light.

 I stood in dark windows
and watched as young lovers carressed
and by some strange magic
I became one
with all the things that are reflected
like twin moons over black oceans
and the stars that are like
a thousand breaks of silver on the first spring morning.

I've spoken to the storm's warning.
And stood on the cliffs with a lantern
and a drop of rum
and watched the squall roll in.

I counted ashes spread across
the nor'easter wind
while Holy words were spoken.

I'm keeping souls in a jar
as tokens.

I'm watching
poison slide down my gullet
and sitting, like a stone Buddha
on the wrong end of a bullet
and I'm loving
all the drops of blood
falling from my lips
to her lips
as we quake
and are
dissolved.

...

Be still now, O sleeping babe
who is named in the names of tomorrow.
Future names, carved in electric calligraphy on the stones of mighty cities.

Be still, O storm-tossed sperm
for you are the way the wind is blowing.

Be quick, O faces of corpses laying cold in the monuments
for Jesu has planted a mustard plant
that will grow through cracks in your silent dreaming.

Be steady, O murderers hand
for they say
your trace is like icy and the hell beneath it.

Be still, O brave heart, heart of courage
these are the tombs of heroes.

Be mighty, O words of magic
for these are the rooms of young lovers.

Be potent, O poison of the soul
for this is the killing stroke and the birthing breath
the yin and the yang.

Be still, O silent poetry
at your ending people are undoing strings
and flying kites towards places marked in the name of tomorrow.

...

Look to the East for the naked man!
Look to the east for the marked winds!
Look to the East for the red ring of fire slicing its way through stars.

There falls the house of Gemini
and there lays the house of Libra
and in the house of Cancer
a woman makes her words into laws
and turns her loves to dreams
and her dreams into songs
that reach the ears of children so they wake and look to the West.

Look to the West
they are having barbeques!
Look to the West!
They are signing checks
Look to the West!
they are playing guitar
and driving in lanes of cars across an asphault river and over the bridge.

Look to the here and the now.
Look there flies the hour and it flies
the way a cock crows.

Look and see how a rock
rolls
and rocks and rolls
and rocks and rolls and ROCK N ROLL

Listen and you will hear
music
on the breeze that night brought with it
while in the east
things are said
about beginnings.

...


So tonight
come up close
and listen
and I'll tells ya all abouts this one.
So come up close
and listen.
Come up close
and hang on
bite your lip
hold the line
hold on tight
Tonight
I'll
tell ya
Listen
Listen
Can ya feel the friction or just the burn
Have ye heard?
Listen
I'll tell
ya listen.

Listen.

Listen.

-






 


 


 


 


 




5:10 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

August 25, 2008 - Monday

An update in lieu of poetry
Category: Life

Apparently theatre is the most temporal of all art forms existing but once in a particular time and space and then never again. Lies. Fucking. Lies.

Blogging/Blog poetry is the most temporal of all art forms existing NOT AT ALL if Myspace decides to act like Tom's enema and fall out from under us, not actually putting anything up.

I had written some really good/nice/I liked it incidental poetry here, took me an hour, went to post it and SUPRISE SUPRISE myspace just decides to delete it.

I know we've all had this problem before. Maarja informs me it can also be Internet Explorer's problem because apparent IE doesn't store infortmation wheras other browser's do.

Anyway, fuck technology, fuck myspace, fuck the internet and fuck the 21st century.

I promise I will write some poetry this week. Also I will get around to everyone's blogs. My PC has fallen over and die (refer to above point of FUCK TECHNOLOGY) so the only time I can really check myspace is at work. I'm using my laptop AKA "The Craptop" at home, which among other things ensures a very laggy time for all.

Anyway, I am the Zen master, I no longer feel anger as I am an enlightened being, having assumed the position and moved on to higher realms of existance.

Getting some genuinely good advice recently has uplifted my spirit.

If I may, I would like to shamelessly promote myself to all lifeforms who are interested.

Coming soon from the pen of Mr. Brent Downes

"Hush!" - A song of Spring

"Coat of Arms" ( A book of new poems)

"Evening Plans" A CD of collected spoken word.

In other news my honours thesis is almost complete. I submit my draft soon. I have decided once it is finished that will conclude my research into Queensland theatre...it's been fun..but its not my bag..I will have to think long and hard what I want to do further research in.

Next year will see a number of bold and completely uncalled for moves from me. The first is I am going to WRITE and FINISH a collection of short stories which I have decided will be entitled "Up Late", I am actually going to commit to my first novel as well, I have a few ideas but am unsure of which direction I am going to go in.

Going to enter a few competitions (NOT SLAMS) and also begin a new collection of poetry entitled "Night Lyrics" (which may be bi-lingual....dunno yet...)

It will be Spring soon. Riverfire on Saturday. For those of you you don't remember last year or didn't read the Days of Roses & Nights of Moonsilver then I have included, in parting, the conclusion to my "Spring it on ya!" series from last year.

That and my heartfelt thanks for enduring me so consistently.

Your friend,
Mr.Brent Downes

"Spring it on ya!"

Part Seven: F-111 Fly by.


Conclusions.


My assumptions are being abducted
by readon and pretty ladies
lovelyladybabyfianceonedaymaybes.


I thought winter gone and dead and
presumed to walk in the gravyards of gods and kings.
With my larkhead held high
                              and singing.


Throwing my lorikeet-rhymes in the direction of summer.
And I have passed another
                          season.
And there is nothing reaon can say.
Which will asway
the fear causing gallops in my chest.
Or predict.
What I will do next.


Shall I welcome spring?
First of September 2007.
Soar in the roar of F-111.


Will I burn the river?
And bid farewell to winter?


Saying "seeya long, so long, seeya later on"


                      It will be year.
                     And a year again.


Till we move with icy friends
who speak to us in chilly tones and fill our homes
with blankets and stew.


And wherever my beloved is and are.


                                    I am missing you.


For in winter I cut the nerves from my skin.
Like mooring lines I cut them off.
And sail deep into warmer parts of myself.


Bere I lay beleaguered  and becalmed.
Beleaguered and becalmed.


With all assumptions, hopes, dreams, words, bullshit remedies, recipes,


shopping lists, lists of of ingredients, bills, days (of roses?),


tissues for running noses and all known and supposed.


                       Distant.


Like to a shade in hell
is the star of heaven.


But all at once its Judgement Day
Spring. 2007.


And the god of air opens his sleepy mouth and yawns.
Sounding like the roar of the F-111.


Silence draws up its clothes
                        naked and recently cum.
As I lay in a sheet of eroticism.
Romance and cynicism.
Covered with semen.
                Silence puts on its clothes.


Because it has disrupted
reason and corrupted
the season.


                         It wept and broke its silence.
                         And I comforted.


This is now the airy echo of my coital crisis interrupted.


I wake and it was but a dream.
I'm alone on blue earth and a fresh pile of nonsense steams.


Throwins steam spinning, spinning, ever spinning
and coiling in the air.
Like a signal fire from the scrub
Like a riddle in the darkness of a womb.


                       And of course like
                        the breath of spring.


which exhumes itself from the earth
it breathes and says that it has woken.


Silence was broken
               and I loved it well.


The stars are distant to a shade in hell.


And I weel
For it has been hell.
So much I could mention
I have not chanced to find redemption.
Or it has not been willed or decreed.
From an icy dew drop I can not be freed.


Because the law of gravity.
The lore of stars.
Only lets us fall branch
to thorny branch.
And never to the embrace of the wind,
the warmth of the fire,
even the apathy of the earth.


The earth which has no moods.
I have no moods which are not extreeme.


I feel I could weep, cry, gnash my teeth.


'Cuz I thought for a moment that I saw fairy lights in the sky.


I thought and for a moment I beleived.
That the dawn of spring was listlessly waiting in the leaves.


I woke and it was but a dream.


I woke and it was spring.
It was September. 2007.


And by the river
we are waiting for the
Fly by of the F-111.


More mass that I have seen in any church.
There are beggars and boozeos in the lurch,
There are artists and philosophers whose eyes search.
There are simple, starry eyed children whose eyes glitter like the


river.
There are wordsmiths and song-singers.
Engineers, boatsmen with oars.
Social types, collecting for a cause.
Teens pumpes with sex and the spring air.
Beautiful ladies with blonde, brown and red hair.
Fathers with daughters.
Mothers with sons.
Old grey centurians.
And little tiny ones.


All seem to swway in the last gasp of winter.
All seem to be yawning, stretching, their arms, clearing sleep from


their eyes.


Waiting for fire to light up the skies.


On the edge of tittilation
and at the endpoint of sensation.
I almost feel redeemed.
For I have woken at this time
and it was not a dream.


A siren sounds and a green flare shoots from the Story Bridge!
My hearts beats as spring wakes to kiss me.
The moment seems to cease and say


                              "forever. amen"


And the crowd begin roaring!
and you can hear the soaring!
                      Of the F-111!
As if a great flame has erupted in the east!
Like the whole spring sun is rushing up the river at speed!


Roaring like the anger of gods and devils
We are screaming its celebration!
We are so lost in peril.
So lost, so breif, so very outlived beneath the stars.


But say we "now we shall scar the sky
Let it have its starlight. We have an F-111 fly by!"


Then like an orgasm, like an angel
Like and erupting volcano.
Fireworks launch from the Story Bridge and fill the sky!
From the river and rooftops does more flame spurt.
And we are cheering "this is spring!"
As one million we sing.
As thye scorch the sky red.
Then gold, then green.


The rivercity shakes
and with fire it quakes
and with the roar of crowds.


I am drawin my conclusions in the sounds.


Lost in hoplessness,
hopeful despair.
A breaking searchlight, intermiitent on the sea
I am there.
But I am also the searchlight sometimes
and sometimes the sea.


Sometimes I just....
                    love this city.


Sometimes I lose it.
And years are cobweb covered,
jaded, faded to memory and dreams.
Triumphs and failures.
Things that will or will not save us.
But I feel the spring and the river ablaze avail us.


Like looking through the darkness and glancing heaven.
We are so many souls screaming
Louder than the supersonic F-111.
We are the ember from winter flame
caught in a spring gale and
spread spinning across the sky.


The eyelight starlight
as we fly on by.
Anon we fly...
              till we die.


Never knowing really who or why
Or the whys and whos of another.
Finding some friends, family and lovers.


And plenty of enemies.


The thunder of the fireworks are cracking the dark glass of midnight.
lifting the veil so we can see through.
As a million souls are singing.


                     "I see the light surrounding you!"


In the aura of the eclipse of all my decisions.
In the echo of the aftermath of the cataclysm.
In the prescense of memory and dreamy bliss.
In the burn of starlight and the sear of a kiss.
In the hooveprints and thunder beyond apocalypse.
In the footprints of death and the heartbeat that lives.
In all that lives and all that dies.
In the smashing, smouldering, dying stars in the skies.
In the spark, in the sperm.
In the dirt, in the worm.
In the narcotic grasp of dreams.
In the breaking seas.
In the wind, in the fire.
In the earth, in the water.
In a million dollars.
In my last twenty cents.
In redemption and recompense.
In justice, in revenge.
In friends, romance and love.
In the split of mind and soul and stars above.
In the heartache.
In September. 2007.
In the roar of the F-111


Is the hiding place of spring.
As golden sparks fall from the Story Bridge.
Like a waterfall of flame.
I am remembering all the beauty lost to me like a list of names.


And we sing halleluhah....
We're singing hallelujah on the river....


The tears come thick and thicker...


'Cuz we're singing hallelujah...
We're singing hallelujah by the river....



Hallelujah....


                  Hallelujah....


                                        Hallelujah...


And as the sky erupts once more.
And a city flashes its lights
My smoky soul feels itself soar.
As the jets fly over once more.
Streaking the sky with fire.


We're so lost in the shadow of the burn.


I am all drunk and hurt but full of joy.


It's so silly.


Sometimes I just....
                    love this city.


Sometimes I can forgive
 and have redemption.


Sometimes Avalon speaks to me.
It mentions that whatever conclusions I drew on winter's shore.
Will have no importance in evermore...



Two shadows....


                       Rain and Fire.


Embrace in the first moment of spring.
Whispering "You will see, child


You will see.


But for now,


                  Sing


We love to hear you sing.


OH how we love to hear you sing.


             Just sing, child
        Sing


We love to hear you sing....."


I call to them.
I sing out my soul
I have sung it all through the winter's cold.
And will on the airs of spring.


Hallelujah is what I shall sing.


                                     Hallelujah...


                         Hallelujah...


                                    Hallelujah.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


Epilogue


I have woken in dreams.
To find yet more dreams.
Infinite layers.
I have wandered in the words of condemners and saviors.


And suddenly I can feel.....


                      Warm breeze.


                  like a song..


I am waking, dreaming, feeling
and singing....


                      Spring has sprung.  

5:52 AM - 9 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

August 18, 2008 - Monday

Contraverse- Redefining Words
Category: Writing and Poetry

Very few people outside of Brisbane spoken word will understand any of which I am about to write , but I wanted to write it anyway, just to process some ways in which the wind is changing.

Contraverse is of course my favourite spoken word gig in Brisbane. The brain child of my close friend and fellow poet Stefanie Petrik, it was also the gig she left in my unqualified hands for three months while she was on tour. Since late 2006 I have never missed one. So it is sufficient to say I feel quite an affinity to it.

I remember the philosophies behind Contraverse at its creation was basically to throw all and any ideas of censorship out the back door and generally trample over ideas of artistic and aesthetic sensibilities. With a large degree of certainty I can say I have witness (and occassionally in part been responsible for) the proliferation of these ideas.

Contraverse has and has had many catchcries, probably the most famous as exclaimed by Stef herself "FUCK POETRY". Also "get your poems out from under your bed" (one of the original mottos) and the more mainstream write up of Contraverse as being "where poetry explodes and evolves."

This month, tomorrow, the 19th of August will be the last time Contraverse is at Tongue and Groove Cafe before it moves to a new location. I know that Stef has something quite stellar (and someone she brought back from Nimbin) in store to completely blow the T&G apart one more time before we move on to a new location, I guess the reason in writing this blog is to try, more than anything, uncover some of the 'history as it happens' in myself and Brisbane's emerging poetry scene.

I have very rarely stopped and thought about the realities of performing poetry in a (for lack of a better word) subterranean bar in Brisbane's fringe, occassionally to less than a dozen people.

I have often wondered if by now I have the reputation of being hardcore, not only from being a Contraverse stalwart (and short lived, untrained pilot) but from taking "the hard road" through Brisbane's spoken word scene and to the out and out display of bravado to take the Queen St Upper Stage solo (almost one year before QPF did similar). Either I have a reputation as hardcore or am being completely unsung, either way...

Contraverse is where it started really. I was writing for years before ever going but not performing. Performing alongside Stef Petrik, Misbah (aka Mirabel Contrary), jamming with the likes of Daevid Allen and Bob Mud all leading to my development as a performer. On a good day I will describe myself as "fair" or "decent", I know many people who will read this and say I am a lot more than this.

I think its important to know where you come from. I don't think I will be at the final T&G contraverse because I have a more pressing engagement plus it is after work, but I wish I was going. I should go. I dunno. Maybe I will decide tomorrow. I know Stef, Daevid Allen and other long standing contraverse supporters will be there to have a final dinner at T&G.

Contraverse continues into the future at a new venue from September onwards and I am truly thankful to be a part of its history.

As I get better, no actually, scratch that.

As I get more and more compliments regarding my writing and performing I have seriously considered quitting.

If you asked me why this was so I couldn't adequetely explain. Therapy is of no help here since I no longer attend my sessions, something in my is just really...unaccepting of some things to have happened in recent times.

Northey Street farm where I got a great reception. Made me very...I dont know if anxious is the right word. Getting good feedback and compliments from some of the biggest names and faces in Brisbane spoken word having a similar effect on me.

What worries me is that if I don't attend this next Contraverse, I feel it could be the beginning of the end of my involvement in Brisbane poetry, because that's where it started and..I dont know...it seems cyclic.

I would ask someone for guidance but I'm not sure who to ask.

Anyway. Contraverse has been an important part of my history, possibly we have been equally important to eachother, I am reassured often by Stefanie it wouldnt be the same without me.

In ten years I would have liked to have written a book about all these gigs. Maybe I still will, maybe I'll overcome this hurdle, maybe there is light at the end of what I'm going through right now.

Maybe I will leave my demons behind me and step behind the mic and be able to see, to truly see, the soul, the beast, the sin and the limitless possibility that is man.

Mr. B.T.D
Evening, 18th of August, 2008
Brisbane, QLD

4:36 PM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

"Days in the desert" (Poems for the modern world)
Category: Writing and Poetry

Author's note: In the Mervyn Peake's final chapter of the 'Gormenghast' trilogy "Titus Alone", the hero, Titus an exiled prince from a medieval kingdom, finds himself fevered and wandering in the modern world surrounded by cars, guns, and modern ideas. I find this image absolutely fascinating.

"Days in the desert"

(Some poems for the modern world)

"Woe to him that keeps deserts within"- Freidrich Neitzche

 

ONE

Today, like yesterday, and the day before
and tomorrow
the moon
drips her blood
onto the stage
filled with sound and fury
and signifies the coming
of the bats and night-birds
and dreams to the eyes of the electric people.

The electric people whir and hiss
the crackle and arc and move at speed through the circuts.
Every morning the connect themselves to the engine
every evening they go on charge.

They leak noxious chemicals
which most be disposed of properly.

When they cease to function
they must be put under concrete
and far below the earth.

The city doesn't sleep.

The city craves the dreams of its architect
perhaps knowing them might give it a key to itself.

The city doesn't make love.

It houses concubines who have died of boredom
or evacuated great houses when the fires came.

The city doesn't die.

The electric people dance and sing
the electric people make their electric houses ring
they rage and woe
they ebb and they flow
and under the beat of electric things
electric children are seen to grow.

What can a poet say of his time among these people?

That they are strong but lost?
That they are brave but sad.

No, fuck that.

I'm not Zarathustra
I didn't come down off the mountain to berate these people.
I came
to sit
behind a short glass
filled with icy liqour
and laugh to the season's jokes
and breathe the fire's smoke
and watch the revelling
and unravelling.

I came to hang myself from the lips
of a woman.

I came to prostrate myself on the ground
beneath the footfall of nations.

I came to castrate myself in the great deep of evening.

And to be electric no more
to be a tree, felled in the wood with no one around
and my sound will be
the breath
of a wind against the cheek of the darkest hours.

TWO

When I was younger
a novellist told me that if you can get your readers passed the first ten pages then they will read the whole book.

I have tried writing six novels
some never got passed 10 pages
others got passed 1000
none now exist.

I have joined the ranks of poets.

The poets sit behind windows of city street cafes
with small, ornate notebooks
or loose sheets of foolscap and computer paper.
Poets don't write
they scrawl.

Poets think like wizards
they think
that a few well placed words
are greater
than a thousand.

The poets sit in basements reading to eachother
drinking eachother's wine.

The poets find love
circumstancial.

The poets abhor all things
financial.

The poets move through the streets
by dark winds and dark forces.

THREE

My back is a desert.

A bead of sweat is like a camel caravan moving ever so slowly over the dunes and gullys
while a mocking breeze blows cold from the other side of evening.

How long has it been since you watched a dawn.

Not seen one. WATCHED one.

My back is a desert
and spends every dawn
under covers of darkness.

FOUR

Today in Australia
four people
will take their own life.

Never count the years between anything.

Your last kiss.
The last goodbye
the last coffee
the last
I love you.

People who count the gaps
become them.

To the four
I say

I am
not you
only by luck.

FIVE

Evening birds move unhurridly over the electric city
and woe
to all those people who keep electricity within them
because
all the world is a desert.

By day it will confound you
and by night it will surround you
and in the end
it will make
carrion
of you.

Or just bury you
under the shifting sands.

My hands
are shaking.

And the reaper is waiting
and all the clocks seem to have mouths and tongues
salivating.

I do not find the lights enlightening

I am frightened of
where everything is going.

SIX

Will we
read poems
in the ruins.

In the buildings badly shelled, after nightfall, as armies move through the streets with iron wills.

Will you?

SEVENTH AND FINAL

I seem now
to love.

The way things
move
in the universe.

Planets
stars
people.

I know
nothing is static
except perhaps
me.

If you're free
does that also mean you fall?

Or that you wander vastly without direction
lost and never knowing it.

Nothing is static
except perhaps
my heart.

Which stopped beating a moment
when all the stars in the Milky Way exploded
and I woke
a child
in the arms
of other children.

And we were singing

We were singing
in the parks, in the streets,
in the houses, on the beaches,
in the churches and the temples
in the forests and the bush.

and then it was dark.

I think
I understand the boomers now
they always come out at dusk
and stand six foot tall
spectral grey on the edge of outback properties
beyond the frontier fences.

I think we're the same to them.

And I think darkness is the same
for everyone.

6:49 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

August 17, 2008 - Sunday

A new picture survey
Category: Blogging

 

WHERE I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME




WHERE I WISH I WAS

WHAT I AM...



The one and only

My home team

 



My idol

 

I'm reading again....



I'm reading for the first time...




The soundtrack to my life....



POINTS FOR INSIGHT- 0

POINTS FOR RANDOMNESS- 20

TIME WASTE VALUE- 20 x 10^10x23

The gold medal does NOT go to Australia

1:45 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

August 14, 2008 - Thursday

Dog Days: Poems for a working morning
Category: Writing and Poetry



"Dog Days"

(Poems for a working morning)

-1-

And another thing
FUCK
all
those people whose 'good morning' is at such a volume and pitch that it could break glass.

I must have gotten older because women no longer seem to giggle and I never fantasise about them.

I must have gotten older  because
I have pictures of far off foreign places displayed on my desktop
and calendars to count the days left of my sentence.

I must be older
because I always wake and discard my dreams within a moment.
Shave. Shower. Put on enough scent to disquise the sins of a sailor.
Get 'breaksfast' from the bakery or cafeteria.
600ml coke. Snag roll.
Breakfast of champions
cuz
you have to be a champion to survive it.

I must be older
because
I go to the doctor for blood pressure and chest pain.

I must be older
because two beers seem enough
three seems like the weekend.

I must be older
because my fiance
is the only beautiful part
of my day.

I must be older
I get an insurance bill
I balance my tax
I stopped buying pornography.

I must be older because
I don't look for stars among the city fumes
I must be older
because I don't abjectly stare at the rear lights
of passing traffic
romanticising the life that they once seemed to hold.
I must be
getting old.

-2-

TAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKA
KKKKKKKKERTJNAJANAJNAJNBSCUFFLE TIKIAKKATKAA

The WORK-GOD
dances his fierce dance
draped in his rainment
of collared shirt and suitpants.
He moves to the rythem his acolates drum for him
with their fingers

RATTA TIKKA TIKKA TAT

He speaks and it is in the language of
loss and gain, loss and gain.
It is in the language off
double time, flexitime, overtime,
work time, office parties, team building excercises
day trip seminars, work cars.

TIKKA TIKKA TAT RATTA TAT RAT

At his Canon Copier Temple
we make our offering
60 copies black and white
A4! A4!
100 copies double sided colour
A4! A4
30 copies stabled booklets
A5! A5!

RATTA TATTA TAT RATTA TAT TAT.

The WORK-GOD smiles
and blesses the harvest.
The WORK-GOD roars
and we respond in kind.
The WORK-GOD says
'THERE ARE NO OTHER WORLDS
NO DEFINITIONS
NO DECISIONS'

The WORK-GOD
Hires as he Fires!
The WORK-GOD
checks the dates
of expiry
He purches Capital!
He moves in parralel, seamless motion to the song his acolytes sing

It goes
RIKKA TIKKA TICK TIKKA TIKKA TOCK.

The WORK-GOD drives
a chariot
into the 4.pm sun
and darkness covers all
with the sound
of soundlessness.

-3-

I am watching
your lips
as you move them
silently reading.

I am watching
the way your eyes move a little
darting to
and fro
on the screen.

I am looking
at these microscopic details
trying to image the whole.

Trying to imagine some depth
behind it all.

Trying to dream your dreams.

I'm at the end of your fork
in the lunchroom.
I am a piece of toilet-paper
in the afternoon.
I am the stinging cut
on your finger
naked to
the eye.

I am some sign in the sky.

I am a part of this
and that
almost Taoist
idea
that we are together in death.

If you breathe
I swim
in your breath.

-TO BE CONTINUED IN AFTERNOON-

10:23 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

July 30, 2008 - Wednesday

Manifolds- Incidental lines and lyrics
Category: Writing and Poetry

"Manifolds"- Incidental lines and lyrics.

 

-1-

Wrap the thin form
that
you find (your) self
reflected in (side) the
manifolds of warmth
and cover
against
darkness.

Plunge
the head you found
into the deep dreams
of sex and city lights
and up all night
on Friday nights.

Circle on the
cir(CUM)pherence(PHRENOS)
of the other side of nothingness
you find yourself
pay day, yesterday, everyday
Salute! workrestPLAY and taken
away
to where you can lose yourself
in manifolds
of being everything to someone who is everything.

-2-


I'm living like a fisherman.
I'm living like a fucking tramp
I'm living by the light of moon
and under the blue light heroin lamp.
I'm living like a footy star
I'm living in the way of cars
I'm living my collisions
Living my decisions.
Living the conditions
that I set for us.

I'm living like a poet.
I'm living like I've blown it.
I'm living like I've wasted all my dosh
and got nothing left to show for it.
I'm living like Scrooge McDuck.
I'm living, I'm the living FUCK
Trying to screw the world on some deal
Or some messianic seal
that I'll break
Because I'm living like a saint.

And I'm living like a Brother.
And I'm living under cover
of searchlights and traffic moving
on Mustamae Tee.
I'm living by the river.
I'm living for my liver.
I'm living to a quiver, and a slither and a fault.
I'm living by the law of asphalt.

I'm living by the sea.
Living for the SHE
a thousand years in the making
I'm living for the taking
and the earth all a quaking
in the shadows of the trees.

And I'm living like a disease
Living where and when I please
I'm living in the way a virus lives.
I'm spreading my plague.
I'm making way for the way to come.
I'm living from sun to star to sun.
I'm living like a philosopher.
I'm living like a man.

I'm living by the sword
But dying by the hand.

I'm living how a bugbear lives.
I'm living like the dreams a fever gives.
I'm living like someone who needs that and this
And I'm living like a shift
In weather, in tide, in the faces of the moon
I'm living like a preacher speaking of doom.

I'm living for all the things we haven't said yet.
I'm living to rebuild the destroued and the dead.
I'm living like a corpse.
I'm living like a racehorse.
I'm living on the water's course.
I'm living. I'm living.

I'm living like someone who regrets it
I'm listening to things but I haven't said them
I'm living like a word bound for acclaim
I'm living in the remenants of names
And in the boarding gates of planes.
I'm living like a thing in flight
I'm living on air falling chill
I am living a carnivore's will.
I am living like an elevation
Like a sinner whose had a revelation
I'm living like a debutonte's daughter
in a moments weak sensation..
I'm living like a nation
and that dream that is dreamt by patriots
Fought over by bronze-clad men in chariots
Sung and danced too by marionettes.
I'm living like a man in a show full of animals.
I'm living in the dark heart with cannibals.

I am living like a beach.
Living each day to each
And stretching my heart to its limit
In view of the morrow.

-3-

-for Gerald Keaney-

Tighten the klinkiscotjsj BASNJHAE BAJMQ2308U9 KNZSMANA  Amsn
mnakndejwsejjdb bxm aa,akbhbhjbh amn  s aschizophhrenia.
around the waist of a starvling man
who speaks in the language of 0101010101010101010101010101010101
and tells us of
things passing at the edge of
4:00 pm
5:pm
0300
.

This world is the other world
a poets world
a dead world
where
all the poets
are eating
other poets
and dead ideas
to make
some carving
like themselves.

Moses said
do not (under any circumstances)
take any graven idols
unto thee.

We sit
drink beer
and watch
poetry
eat
us
alive.

-4-

Live long enough to enter a world of a kettle steaming
traffic distantly screaming, howling, taking up making sounds
on the other horizon of darkness and dreaming.

Under moonshine we will say our secrets
to the tune of red wine and trains on the half-hour
and beat our skins on eachother as waves lick shore.

And be sure, be sure,
Be sure that the lights in front of your eyes
are the work of fires in the distance
and not some
strange magic.

-5-

I have named this moment, see

Excrutious.

-6-


You have blue lips, baby.

Your words are filled with ash and arrow
and I'm back up, burning the midnight tallow.
And we have hours, baby, hours yet
To live the speakless love.

And what have you hidden, babe
under the covers of darkness
in the manifolds of evening
where our love was loved.

What there did you put?

An eye
And a love

And a horeshoe
for luck
turned upward
on a doorframe.

-7-

-for Mammu-

I'm singing that its cold outside
its cold outside, its cold outside, tonight.
Tonight the stars like ice hang in the sky
and its cold outside, its cold outside, its cold.

I'm drowning, you see
in the warm sea.
Stripped and starving
and darkling.
Its cold outside, its cold outside, its cold outside
tonight, its cold outside,
I'm singing.

My memory is getting cruel tonight,
cruel tonight, cruel tonight,
And my heart like hangs like a weight
my fingers shake
My memory is cruel tonight, cruel tonight,
cruel tonight, it has
broken
me.

I'm giving in, giving up, moving out, moving in
trying to press my skin to the hand sign of
the world, dressed in white, imparted with great knowledge.
And its dead outside, its dead outside
its dead quiet, its dead quiet,
the quiet is like its dead tonight.

And its cold.
And its cruel
And its quiet like the dead outside
and the stars are wet with crystalline dew
and they've been hung out to dry, been hung out to dry,
been hung out to cry
in the heaven that weeps for none tonight.

The tear that is shed in love tonight,
the things said about love this night,
the tastes I have had of wine this night,
lips I would kiss on the other side
of dreams I dream in the cold tonight,
and its cold tonight, cruel, quiet and cold tonight
it's cold tonight and I feel like

a faded man, out of phase, out of step
a jaded man, out of heart and out of breath.
a created man, out of god and out of a womb
a faked man, out of man and out of doom
a naked man, a forsaked man, a played man, a made man,
the main man, the same man as yesterday
a named man, named the same yesterday.

And I love you in the cold tonight
Bonnie, bright, green-eyed baby
On the other side of yesterday
It's cold tonight, its cold tonight,
its cold today, dawn has come
but the warms not here
and no sounds come knocking at my ear
its cold and cruel and quiet tonight
its cold and cruel and quiet today.

But I still love the green eyed lady.
In the cold tonight, the cold tonight,
Im singing, thats what I do,
Singing the sky in black hues
It's cold and the stars are among the
dark clouds too
singing
loving
you.


-8-

I must be getting old to scratch my bum so
I must be getting old to make fun so
To not be able to run so.
To have a large tum so.
I must be getting old to know so much about nothing helpful or important about life.

-9-

W(here) did they go
What ever happened
to the forms we saw
on the tv
and had us all
(horny)

They fell off the edge of the earth, of course!
They fell off the edge of the earth!

-10-

-for Sheila McGlothin, who knows what its like...-

It's your
words
that make
me
so
enraptured.

I could lose myself
in any black mark
on a screen that you made
and I find
I need
this touch
that leaves my skin
untouched.

You leave me past midnight
and the world
seems so small
and so full of
nothing
without you.

It's your words that fill the hollow crevices
of my soul
and stain the darkness in different hues.

It is this and only this that has me addicted to you.


-11-

-to absent friends-

I have marked
you
in sorrowful tones.
Because
your absence
says as much about
the way of everything
as it does about
words that fell
into the world.

I pour a glass
and drink it
for you
and a little bit for me
and dream
a dream
that moves in my depths
but on waking
leaves nothing
but a feeling
in my soul
of longing.

-12-

-my last-

Take me
away
from my eyes
so I can't see
with my mind.

And love
with the heart
poets and painters wish for.

Ever notice
that a poem
doesn't kiss you
nor a paiting,
nor a melody.

The moments
are gone.
But please
take me to them.

I will break my pen in twain.
I will forsake this vain
pursuit
and live
in my own skin
for just one life.

It might be enough to steel me
against the encroaching night.
And all it brings.

The stars seem to
ring
but I listened closely and they said nothing.

So I wait.
And I watch.

Light a candle, watch the dawn
and sing, sing, sing..

-

11:31 PM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

July 28, 2008 - Monday

Check out this video: Coat of Arms
Category: Writing and Poetry

Check out this video: Coat of Arms



Anyone tittilated?

6:51 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Becoming Alive.
Category: Life

"This above all to thine ownself be true." WilliamShakespeare 'Hamlet'.


My apologies for the recent lack of posting here on The Days of Roses and Nights of Moonsilver. Sometimes life moves in such a way that blogging falls into obscurity. My heartfelt (excuse the pun) thanks go to everyone who wished me well through my little scare.

The results of that were nothing serious or concerning. The pain and irregular rythem in my chest was most likely caused by a spasm of some description inside my chest, these spasms apparently can be triggered by stress, by environment or can simply be freaks of nature.

So a normal person would be enlivened by overcoming such a scare (just like I said I would be) but I found myself deeply saddened by the sadness of it all, mortality and the rings we go through to sustain our brief lives.

I realised that if it had been something serious, I would go to my peril leaving so much undone and unsaid. And a sense of profound unhappieness filled me.

It happens in life that we can't see our flaws and mistakes until they are reflected to us in some kind of hindsighted epiphany. It makes such little sense to be proud and never admit your mistakes, but I am so very guilty of this.

If I had gone to my peril without the Lady of Roses with me...
The enormity of seperation between myself and the woman I love is all too apparent.

What to say?

I dislike having to put my life under examination. Things always pop out that I am unhappy with. Yes, I have come a long way, especially in the last few years, but I'm still not where I want to be and sometimes it seems to have come at a high cost.

I have no one to blame for this but myself. All too often I have waited, or not waited, been impulsive to a folly or procrastinated to a folly and at the end of the day, a life of extreemes isn't fun, it isnt fair and its especially not easy (or conducive to art-making)

I have this thought in my mind. To stop is to die. I stopped and I lost everything, after that I have tried to gain and have had to live with gaining some things and losing others. For a reason very close to my core I believe that if it isnt hard, its not worth anything, its not worth doing. Part of me loathes and resents the idea of anything casual, of ever sitting down and looking at a job well done and a life well lived. For me it equates to some kind of living death.

Part of me also wants dearly for that.

Would you, given chance, slip away behind the curtains of evening, after the show, after the lights have gone out and silence fills your ears once more, slip away into that silence, dark and complete and find yourself a dream that you could dream every night?

I wouldn't. But I wish I could. Because the other world, the world lived at fever pitch, like a race to unattainable eternity,  the world where to stop, to sleep, to blink is to die, that is not life, its not being alive. It's the same energy that fuels fanatics and drug addicts but I am neither, I am a poet and I have lived my life for the rush, to the exclusion of anythung resembling peace.

And I wonder...why my heart quakes and is sore.

There must be a balance. Between moving and stopping. I can not stay in one place but I can not continue to chase down the horizon to the exclusion of my soul, my heart.

It is easy to wish, because you put the onus off yourself. But I do wish, I wish I had not been so ready to cast some people, ideas and thoughts aside because I felt held back.

I wish that it was a little easier for me to stop and live in a moment. That was the philosophy behind this site at its conception, I feel I have neglected that.

I seem to have abandoned any faith in higher powers I may have once had, a sad life is a faithless life, a hopeless life, where you just scramble and squabble until the bell tolls.

So here I will try and bring about some hope inside myself and for anyone who reads. I hope in the fundamental goodness of people, I hope for forgiveness, the power to speak and be heard, I hope that as I grow older I can find myself not just speaking, but listening and also being listened to when speaking. Being true to yourself starts within but finishes when you find yourself able to accept other and their truths.

So I hope. I hope for life, to become alive, to live, to breathe, the be able to be what I will be and not neglect the things that truly matter along the way.

And say something which once had a very real meaning to me; and hope it may again

Blessed Be.

12:11 PM - 10 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment


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