Updated Mockery at The Inept Owl: 9-1-08
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello Readers,

   For the working Americans in our ranks, I hope you had a relaxing weekend. For the students, good luck. It's back to reality for another 10 months. For our international readers...keep doing what you do.

   For the weekend I recently acquired a set of golf clubs. Unfortunately, they are tagged as WRATH, kind of like a name that would be given to a Super Soaker, or a toy light-saber. Considering the price of them, I'm pretty sure they took a set of Fisher Price golf clubs and extended the handle. But that's ok, because I suck at golf, and won't notice the difference.

Anyway, to the updates!

J-Sin reports on what's next in the world for Keanu Reeves.

Keanue Reeves to Direct Royal Shakespeare Company

Ask An Owl tackles an age-old question, "What is Rosie O'Donnell, really?"

Ask An Owl

Beta Boy Reviews his first of unbearably many James Bond Films.

Dr. No

Darby Shaw explains his annoyance with the band Coldplay.

Viva La Vida

Kipp Wieland explains how life was after he left his parents' home.

Roaches in a Jar

We receive our first fan letter, and hope that some more, or at least hate mail, come our way.

Letter of the Week

That about does it. Thanks for reading! And if you get a chance, answer our poll on the front page. We've made some changes to the menu, and hope to get some feedback on whether or not it's helpful in the navigation of all the great stuff on our site.

Cheers,

The Editor

www.theineptowl.com

1:42 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Updates Mockery at The Inept Owl: 8-26-08
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello fine, upstanding readers,

   So the Olympics have finally come to a close, and medals have been awarded to the best of the best of a bajillion sporting events, EXCEPT for skateboarding(they have snowboarding, what's the deal. And why do I care what a group of stuffy international judges think anyway?)
I do believe that if Monopoly was an Olympic game, I would have a medal to bite too.

Anyway, to the updates!

Rick Bernardo reports on what Michael Phelps' release from captivity following the Olympic Games.
Michael Phelps Released into the Wild

J-Sin reports on HIS views on the World News in his commentary section.
My Views on the World News

Our Advice Column, Ask An Owl, intervenes with a sad man with an addiction to the sitcom Full House. Be sure to email your questions to us! We're here to help!!
Ask An Owl: Full House

Beta Boy reviews a movie the whole family will love, Otis! As long as your whole family is 17 or older with a liking toward horror movies, or at least Kevin Pollak.
Otis

Kipp Wieland goes into family territory by writing about his father's shenanigans.
Condos For Mice

   Stay tuned for next time, as J-Sin reports on the activities of a certain...Keanu Reeves, Beta Boy finally begins his Bond marathon, and we resurrect Terminal Taglines.

Cheers,

-The Editor
www.theineptowl.com

4:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Updated Mockery at The Inept Owl
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello Readers!

   I hope you are as excited as I am that the United States has a gold medal for Team Jumping in the Equestrian field. The question is, does the horse get the medal, or the rider? What about the horse's citizenship?

These are the thoughts that feed my insomnia.

Anyway, to the updates!

   Kipp Wieland tells about his days of drum circles and sex talks...at a Bible camp.
Bible Camp

   Beta Boy reviews his latest horror movie acquisition, the man-shark movie Teeth.
Teeth

   International Correspondent Rob Wheatley enlightens us on a new trade agreement between the United States and Great Britain.
Piers Morgan

   Well, that's it! Stay tuned for more exciting articles, such as Beta Boy running through every Bond movie ever made. No, really, he's already sent me the review of Dr. No, and it's unlike any movie review I've ever read.

   And check out our friends, family, and fellow jesters when you have a spare moment in our links section. Blood Night, directed by Owl friend Frank Sabatella, is there in the Film section, and the movie is almost complete! Just think, if we bombard him, we may be able to get a contest going for preview tix for Owl readers :)
Linked Stuff

Thanks for reading!

-The Editor
www.theineptowl.com

11:55 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Our Archives Are Fixed!
Category: News and Politics

For a while, our readers were subjected to an annoying game of hide and seek whenever they wanted to find an old article of ours. Soon it came to a point of either finding the search button, or rolling the dice and guess which month the article came out on.

Now, all that will change. Under each menu section there is now an archive section, giving a list of all the past articles. Want to see which movies reviewed last year? Click on the link. BAM! There's the list.

Want to show your mom and dad your published piece on breakfast cereal? Click the Opinions archive link. BAM! You can show them your piece on Rob Zombie while you're at it.

Still want Bush jokes? Click on the politics archive. BAM! It's like last year all over again.

So go over to www.theineptowl.com to check it out, and waste hours of time.

11:49 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Updates at The Inept Owl: 8-11-08
Category: News and Politics

Hello Readers!

I hope you are taking a break from such Olympic Games as shot-put, "sculls" and badmitton to read up on what's really going on in the world today! Or, at least, our take on it.

Rick Bernardo gives us a scoop on how President Bush is handling the crisis in Georgia.
Atlanta Disaster Relief

Resident comedian Rye Silverman explains to us how Pineapple Express isn't just for pot-heads.
Pineapple Express Review

Darby Shaw shows us that there are honest sellers on Craigslist that we should be careful of.
Craigslist

Rick Bernardo braves a Stone Temple Pilots concert, and is surprised that the band starts on time!
Audience Shocked by STP

Our latest writer J-Sin lists off all the great and not so great things you can buy with $14 million.
14......million dollars

Beta Boy ranks all of the movie Jokers in his soon-to-be critiqued provocative review.
Joker vs. Joker vs. Joker

For the upcoming week, we are also featuring Rye Silverman's inital thoughts on Tropic Thunder, directed by and starring Ben Stiller.
Tropic Thunder

And when you're all done with that, take a gander at our special fantastic friends on our links page.
Linkies

Whew. Good luck with all that.

and thanks for reading!

-The Editor
www.theineptowl.com

12:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Updates at The Inept Owl: 8-4-08
Category: News and Politics

Hello readers!

We hope that your summer has been nice. Of course, to us it would be nicer if every day had torrential downpour. Probably get us some more page views. Unless the power got knocked out.

Also, congratulations to this month's winners of free "swag." To those of you who didn't get a free t-shirt or something else, well, at least you can still laugh at our wit, or lack of. No worries, we're sure to have more random contests in the future. Maybe even some submission contests.

A new thing we plugged into the site: the "AddThis" button, where you can "add"(wow, they really reached for that pun) different articles to such media outlets as myspace, facebook, google, probably some internet dating sites, who knows. So try it out! Or not. I don't recommend signing up for any of those services if you haven't already done so. Mostly because they aren't paying us to do so.  ;-)

Anyway, on to the updates:

Rick Bernardo puts in his two cents about this supposed Montauk Monster that has been terrorizing media outlets for the past week.
Luke Perry Returns

Our new writer J-Sin speaks about what other abuses the government should apologize for besides that nasty slavery and segregation business.
Apologies to be accepted

International correspondent Rob Wheatley talks about himself in his staff biography, or, as it is, autobiographical essay.
Rob Wheatley: Person

Kipp Wieland shows his darker side in how he dealt with a couple of neighbors.
Bad Neighbor

Also, if you become really bored with our site, check out our link page, and visit some of our writers, friends, and "sponsors."
Whoring Links

Thanks for reading! And thanks for clicking on google ads, since that's the only thing that pays the bills around here.

Cheers!

-The Editor
www.theineptowl.com

4:52 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

So, you think you can write?
Category: Blogging

Our family at The Inept Owl is always looking to grow a little bigger, even if it's just to console the editor that he does hve some imaginary friends.

So we are currently looking for general writers who have an underlying humor about them, whether it be goofy, cynical, or even a bit dry.

Types of articles we love:

-Lists

-How to/How not to "do something"

-visual parodies of movies, games, television, advertisements

-Opinionated opinions(this does not usually include venomous political tirades)

-fictional news

-look around our website, we have loads of possibilities.

If you are indeed interested in writing, please email us at ineptowl[at]gmail.com with a writing sample and a bit about yourself.

Side note: this is not a normal paid position. We do, however, try to send our writers gifts when funds allow.

-The Editor

www.theineptowl.com

5:51 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Updates at The Inept Owl: 7-29-08
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello Readers!

It's getting close to that time that the countries of the world go to war...in sport. Yes, it's the Summer Olympics, and you can be sure we'll be covering, be it basketball, swimming, running, or tiddly-winks.

But for now, some other updates:

Kipp Wieland explains a painful experience he went through just recently, having to do with a scalpel and a tail appendage.
What's in a Tail?

Beta Boy reviews Stephen Dorff's newish horror movie Botched. At least, it's new to his DVD bin.
Botched

Rick Bernardo explains how China is influencing the media coverage of the Olympics in new and unexciting ways.
Beijing Olympics

Our international correspondent warns the crazy Americans about falling in love too much with the lifeform known as "the politician."
Obamamania

As an odd activity, at the end of this month we will be featuring the town or city that has given us the most attention by writing an article about said place. Even if we have never been there before, you can bet it will be some true in-depth coverage, even if we have to make it up.

Thanks for reading!

The Editor
www.theineptowl.com

4:35 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Updates at The Inept Owl: 7-23-08
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hello Readers!

Things have been running quite smoothly in Owl-Land. Presidential races, football, Paris Hilton not being pregnant, and Batman, arrested! And now, we have updates!

International reporter Rob Wheatley discusses how General Robert Mugabe lost his luggage, among other things, in London.
Mugabe

Darby Shaw puts on his music review hat to critique Alanis Morissette's "Flavors of Entaglement."
Flavors of Entaglement

The Editor Patrick Emmel and Rob Wheatley put their two half-brains together to bring you a new dark horse in the running for president.(Note: we are in the process of streaming this video straight from our website)
Our Next President

Our new writer Kipp Wieland takes the editor a bit too seriously, and brings a thoughtful piece on an artist's critique of the cereals POPS and SMACKS>
Cereal Wars

Darby Shaw risks life and sanity to bring you a photo of President Bush's speed-dial!
Phone In Chief

Upcoming articles:
The Biography of Rob Wheatley
Joker vs. Joker by BetaBoy
and anything else our writers come up with.

Also, we are having another referral push with the t-shirts and prizes and such. This leg of the contest ends at the end of August, so spread the word! Those of you who have already won cannot win again this year, but you can go ahead and tell all your friends anyway.

Register

Thanks for reading!

-The Editor
www.theineptowl.com

7:09 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Still indecisive about voting in 2008?
Category: News and Politics

Well, we're here to help with this nifty public service announcement, which for some reason wouldn't embed properly so we have this handy link thing.

Political PSA

10:38 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment