Warning
This world is made up of beliefs. Everyone has different ones. Everyone has lived a different chapter of this life, therefore have acquired different stereotypes, knowledge, beliefs, and opinions.
Since we've obviously lived different lives, it's feasible to believe we have different opinions.
I'm not close-minded. I like hearing other opinions and beliefs, but don't shove them down my throat, just like I won't shove mine down your throat....I'll inform you of my beliefs, but it's up to you whether you agree or not....and that is fine with me.
Respect my beliefs and I'll respect yours.
Attack mine and I'll attack yours....
Got It?
Other than that, I'm fairly nice....
Stepping Outside of Your Shell
Current mood: bummed
Category: Friends
I used to think karma catches up to you and that's why good people get good things and bad people get bad things. And that's why I got shit on, was because I was shit.
I recently saw someone's life fall apart--no names mention because I still care about her and wish the best and would so be there in a heartbeat to help her out still even after all the shit. She lost her job, her roommate, her apartment, etc. You know the story. I'm sure almost everyone has been at rock bottom. I saw it coming and knew what was going to happen just because of what she was doing and how people were reacting to that. But she didn't see it. I couldn't stop it. (Well, I probably could have but I didn't want to step in and have things turn out worst, you know?)
If it had been me, I would have never seen it coming. If it was me in her shoes, but with my ability to see the situation on the outside, it could have been prevented.
Probably one of the most important lessons I've learned so far. Karma isn't always at play, sometimes it's just our actions, but we don't see the bigger picture.
Due to events in my life recently, I've kinda lost interest in blogging lately. There's no poems, no stories, nothing, it's all been said and realized and done before. There doesn't seem to be much more to realize. Life is a repeat of itself. Everything I'm going through--Been there done that, only difference is I'm now twenty, which means it's more intense affects me more and not too many people care.
I always thought this world was so consumed with money, and I would never be wrapped up in that, but I yet I have two full time jobs to pay for all the luxeries I'm too addicted to. It's selfish. I get bored so I buy entertainment instead of going to my mom's house and drawing with my little sisters. I feel like laughing so I sit down in front of my computer and look up jokes instead of hitting up so called friends and kicking it with them. It's so anti-social.
Well, all the times of blowing off my friends to put in more hours and make more money has caught up to me. For the first time in two and a half years of being away from my mother, I finally live alone.
I have a cat, a one-eyed dog, and an old turtle--I don't know why I have them seeing I'm never home to play fetch with him and sometimes don't have time to clean my turtles aquarium for a few days, and push my cat away at night when he wants to cuddle because I'm dead tired. But I got two for free because they weren't wanted by their owners and bought the dog because I was lonely. I'm using them.
I'm tempted to get another roommate again even though I always end up paying for the majority of the bills and get pissed when they invade on my space, just so the trailor isn't so quiet. Just so I have someone to vent to after work, just so I have someone to drink with (I'm drunk now...lol....and alone it sucks....) and someone to hang with when I'm home and not at work, but my "friends" are out busy getting laid.
I don't relate to people. Every girl dreams of getting married and having a family. I don't. I dream of being alone with a huge house in the mountains or somewhere like that and a huge entertainment center and a work-at-home career, like writing or something. With a million pets. Of all kinds because even turtles are awesome--mine has a buddha statue and a waterfall, and army guys defending his tank...lol...
I think somewhere in childhood I stopped growing up and stayed a kid. I don't know when. Probably somewhere around the age of eleven or twelve maybe. I think that's why I'm a shitty adult...lol
Just a vent. I live alone. The only friends I have feel too bad to ditch me because I helped them when life shit on them and they can't afford to pay me back. I value my jobs more than pretty much everyone I know. I drink only so I can tell people the truth without worrying about hurting them. It's eases my mind. I can't do that when sober because I worry too much of what people will think and how they will feel. The only friends I have aren't litter box trained, except for one--he's a good kitty....lol....
Alright, I got more on my mind but I'm pushing the backspace button more than the letters...I'm too drunk, so I'll type more if I remember in the morning....lol
Bottles up....Good night! Drinking alone sucks, but it calms me.....
Bullies These Days Are Pansies...They Would Have Been Stabbed in My Day
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Life
Am I the only one who thinks this is ridiculous? Parents these days are slacking. Teach your fucking kids some backbone and how to talk shit back, instead of crying like a pansy and killing themselves.
I had two days off in a row! Unfortunately it was the day before thanksgiving and thanksgiving--that dreaded holiday I hate most. All of my friends were with their families, and I was sitting at home alone bored with two panks of smokes, a full tank of gas, and seventy-something bucks in my pocket.
Road Trip!
*Trinidad sadly is very normal looking, and I didn't one single crossdresser.
*The people in Trinidad appear to be very religious, primarily Christian, oddly enough, judging by the number of churches and kind of churches.
*Trinidad happens to ironically also have a Nevada Ave....and there's about four or five churches on it.
*Las Vegas, New Mexico is very DEAD after ten pm. It was a huge disappointment.
*Las Vegas, New Mexico stops selling alcohol at ten pm. At least in the few gas stations that are actually open. And I didn't see a liqour store in all of my driving around. Thank god I'm not twenty-one or I would have been mad. lol
*New Mexico is roughly twenty degrees warmer than Colorado Springs. I almost didn't come back. lol
*Las Vegas sells condoms--flavored and glow in the dark, and tingle rings in public restrooms. I'm not kidding. Look at the pics under Las Vegas, New Mexico album--I don't feel like looking it up and posting it. They were fifty cents each, and I tried to get one as a souveniour but the machine was empty....lol....Unfortunately, I found out it was empty AFTER I had used the facility. If I had found out before, I never would have sat on that nasty seat....lol
*Cigarettes are fucking expensive in New Mexico! I bought the cheapest they had for 3.33 and they were worse than wildhorses, which you can get for 2.50 here! Camels were 51.00 for a carton! Oh my fucking God! I would give up smoking if I moved there...lol
*Trinidad--gas is 3.39, whereas New Mexico was 3.02 roughly. Needless to say I put two bucks in my tank in Trinidad when I was on E and filled up in New Mexico....lol
*Spanish is a more common in New Mexico. I kind of felt like an outsider...lol....They even have some of their billboards and advertisements in Spanish and English.
*I don't know which way is north in New Mexico. There's no mountains and I spent damn near a gallon of gas just trying to find the damn highway....lol
*Don't fall asleep in any rest stops in New Mexico. The truckers are creepy and I'm damn glad I was smart enough to lock my doors and keep my hands on my keys in my hour nap, when I was rudely awakened....lol
*They sell hot chicken for like two bucks at gas stations off of the highway in New Mexico. I got a banana, a soda, and two pieces of chicken for less than five bucks. Not bad.
*All the streets go in a circle in Canon City and Florence, Colorado. You can't get lost. Just turn on any street and you'll find the one you're looking for. Turning right or left doesn't matter, you'll end up going the same direction eventually anyways. lol
*I don't know who fills the soda machines in some places between Florence and Canon City and on the outskirts. No one lives there at all, ain't no businesses, no cars, no people, but someone is a determined individual to provide liquid for those of us who haven't the slightest clue where the nearest gas station is and are dying of thirst...lol
*Trinidad has a Hollywood sign on the mountains! Only it says Trinidad and I couldn't figure out how to get closer, and I don't know if anyone ever notices it, because it is kinda far, probably outside of Trinidad, but it said Trinidad dangnabit! If anyone figures out how to get closer so I could get a pic, please share that info.
*Where do those people live, who work at those dinky gas stations off the highway where the nearest sign of civilation is at least two hours away? Why the hell would they commute for a 8 dollar an hour job? lol That was bugging me and I don't have an answer. They live there in the backroom or something?
*Lakespur, Colorado has not one single stop light. Why anyone would want to live there, I don't know. There's no police department but they still ID for alcohol. That's bullshit. Who the fuck's going to catch them selling to an underage if there's no poilce department with that juristiction?
*Alberquerqee (sp?) looks like day at night, with all of the lights and the highways are stacked on each other. It was odd.
*They have a car dealership college in Alberquerqee, New Mexico. And millions of car places. I know what I'll do for a living if I ever move there....lol
Surely, more to come when more days off come and more cash. :D
Hackers on Myspace
Current mood: blah
Category: MySpace
I don't think enough people read Tom's blogs, nor the millions of bulletins and other myspacer's blogs because I'm being spammed by hacked profiles.
Any comments with advertisements on my comments are deleted and often the user is also blocked, excluding bands and legite advertisements. I don't care about a macy's gift card though or paid surveys. I know many of those comments though are sent by hacked profiles, not the actual person, however.
If you click on a link in someone's comment or a message sent to you, check the url on the top. If it looks like the url of someone's profile, you're still logged in. Don't enter your information unless the url is myspace.com, or login.myspace.com People need to start being more aware. Myspace doesn't log you out as much as people bitch about and most of the time it's a hacker attempting to get your password.
I'm tired of people being dumb and just entering their information every time that screen pops up saying you must be logged in to do that!
Myspacer's need to be a little more aware when they log in. Just pay attention to when you log in. That's all I'm saying.
Also, I received some messages saying my blog gave them a virus or fucked up their computer screen. Sorry, but it wasn't me. My blogs protected with codes to prevent hackers from messing with my blog and profile. The only thing on my blog that would even remotely mess up your computer would be my music player, and that just would delay the loading if you're running on a slower computer.
If your profile has been hacked, just change your password as soon as possible, and be aware when you log in next time.
Having Kids is Just More Hassle Than They’re Worth...
Current mood: confused
Category: Life
No time is a good time for a kid. You have school, you have work, you have a party life, you're in the process of giving your life a change, you're barely getting by as it is, and a kid is just never convienent. It changes your life.
The person you bred with isn't going to be there forever. (Argue as you will, rarely do both birth parents stay together and raise the kid. Divorce happens, a new marriage, etc.) Keep the kid? Give it up for adoption? Have an abortion? Sadly, although both parents are expected to support the child, it's up to the mom to keep it or not. Also, sadly, the mother can dump the kid off with the father and rarely will she get hounded for child support like the father would have.
Most people who breed had one of two things happen. The condom broke and it was never meant to happen or they wanted to have someone depending on them, someone they could shape and mold, someone who will love them no matter what. Yet, most kids end up raising themselves.
Breeding is just so odd. It seems to be more of a trend than anything and that's just sad. I feel left out. lol
Not Everyone is Born to Be Someone Great...
Current mood: confused
Category: Life
I used to think college and dead end jobs was just a phase young adults go through. But some of my co-workers at my job are in their thirties and forties, some of my classmates are my mom's age.
I think it's an important thing to teach teenagers that college, internships, and career training are three among millions of options available. The purpose of life isn't to become rich and get a big house and a fancy car. The point of life is to be happy. If you can pay your bills and have a means of suitable transportation with a job at a gas station, there's no shame in that. Afterall, someone has to be there to supply the gas in your tanks. Someone has to make the pizza you order. Someone has to do the jobs everyone else laughs at and kicks dirt on. There's no shame in it, and if you can successfully do it as a living, go for it. College, fancy cars, and huge houses aren't for everyone.
Some people live simply. Some people see no point in a car, and enjoy their bike as a means of transportation. (Obviously, not people in Colorado though, because it's too fucking cold for that nonsense....lol)
I always thought giving up sleep for college and two jobs was just life, but it occured to me that overkill probably isn't very healthy. College isn't for everyone. Some people perform surgery. Some people make the pizzas for the business meetings of doctors. Some people clean the doctor's office, so he can perform his work. Some people create art that inspires future philosophers that shape our modern world and thought. Some people sing to entertain those working hard and give them a chance to relax for once.
There possibilities are endless after high school....and none of them are shameful...
Does Anybody Even Know What They’re Celebrating When You Celebrate Halloween?
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life
Contrary to popular belief, it actually originated as neither a Christian holiday, nor a Pagan holiday. It originated as a Wiccan Holiday (No, Pagan and Wiccan are not the same...similar yes, but different still...just like Christians and Catholics are similar, but still different.....)
Originally it was a Celtic holiday, I believe. November 1 was the start of their New Year and the 31st of October was believed to be when the two worlds of the living and dead could walk the same land, which was a feared day, since it was the beginning of the cold winters and they feared the dead would tarnish their crops, leaving them no food for the following seasons. They often had burning sacrifices of crops and animals and wore costumes, often animal heads and skins.
Somehow it became a Wiccan holiday, understandably so. With the two worlds combined, it made the point of magic the strongest. While the Celtic feared this day, the Wiccans welcomed it, and created celebrations of magic.
Somehow, it then became a Pagan holiday. (Sorry for all the Christians out there, but it was Pagan before it became Christian, since Paganism is an older religion. It makes sense. Christianity couldn't exist until Christ died on the cross, afterall.) Pagans used it to worship the "God" (Satan) they believed in. It was a night of sacrifice and worship.
Then, it finally became Christian (among other God-worshipping religions, Christianity probably still being the largest and oldest of God-worshipping religions in America.) It became a day of fighting the demons that supposedly walked the Earth on that day.
Now, we go house to house with our children dressed as Britney Spears and Star Wars asking for candy from strangers.
How Is It We’re Getting Smarter...But Not Getting Any Better?
Current mood: pessimistic
Category: Life
Btw, random thought....do the amish pay taxes? If so, on what? If not, I'm definitely going Amish...
We've managed to reduce the abuse in homes across the country....now if we can just reduce it in churches and group homes we'll be good...
Teen pregnancy has been reduced also, in America. Unfortunatly, we now have to work on our Elementary School kids.
We've managed to reduce the number of homeless teens in America...Unfortunatly, it's because of their classmates blowing their brains out and their parents running their cars into lakes with the kids in them before the child is old enough to get kicked out and end up homeless...
Prostitution has also gone down....but drug dealers have sky rocketed.
We're slowly being able to empty out our jails...into the mental institutions...
School bullying has also decreased in High Schools....along with attendance and number of students actually enrolled in school....
Lukemia is no longer one of the biggest killer of kids...we've found cures for that...now it's their fucking parents that are the among the highest death threats to today's youth.
The days of being suspended for bringing a cigarrette to school are over....Shit, I think teachers would be relieved if that's the biggest fear of a nine-year-old showing up to school with...
Everytime we find a solution to one problem, a bigger one props up...Why do we even try? We're all going to die someday anyways...lol...not to be pessimistic....but yeah....
bummed
pessimistic
disappointed
awake
blah
confused
depressed
contemplative
nostalgic
