I'm bathing...
Current mood: lonely

That smiley almost looks like Magnum.

I'm bathing right now, all alone, in my 20 person bath tub. I wish I had 19 really, really, ridiculously good looking people with me. Mostly women, of course. I'm so lonely.,

9:27 PM - 32 Comments - 27 Kudos - Add Comment

I got into a walk off today...

I was down on the boardwalk in South Beach shopping today, when I ran into some wannabe male models. I was looking at myself in the mirror trying on a pair of Gucci glasses when I saw one of the wannabe's sashay behind me. His friends started to laugh, and it made me feel really, really, ridiculously bad. So I spun around to the right, and shot a Magnum his way. It literally knocked him off of his Le Coq Sportif shoes. His friends tried to rush me, we almost got into a breakdance fight to the beat of Armin Van Buuren playing over the stoes Bose sound system, but Security broke it up, and told us to take it outside...

I strutted out of the front door, and once again spun around to my right only to see the wannabe's, Christian, Sebastian, and Antonio right behind me. This is when I knew...IT'S A WALK OFF...

Crowds started to form...someone started playing Frankie Goes to Hollywod's "RELAX" on his car audio system. I dropped my bags from Source Paris, and got into my ready stance. They threw their hands in the air, and waved them like they just don't care. We stared at each other for a few minutes...shooting "looks" back and forth. Their wannabe looks were nothing compared to Ferrari, Le Tigre, Blue Steel, and of course...MAGNUM.

And then it begun. The sidewalk quickly became a runway, just as any in Paris, Milan, or the Members Only warehouse in a small village in Cambodia. It was hot out...or maybe it was just me, I don't know, but my competition was dropping like flies. Sebastian was the first to go. As soon as his Evian spritz bottle ran out, he quickly dehydrated. Antonio was the next to go. He got stuck in a wad of gum on the sidewalk. It was just me and Christian...the thorn in my leg.

I started my walk with a gallant gallop. Like a bucking bronco, I trampled down the road, shattering windows in small boutiques. Christian countered my efforts by doing the worm down the sidewalk. Unabashed, I moonwalked, and spun to the right into the splits, and walked on my ass another fifeteen feet. I could tell that Christian was running out of charcoal. He tried to do the robot, but tripped over Antonio who was still struggling to free himself from the spearmint on the ground.

Victory was mine.

10:23 AM - 35 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

My thoughts on mortality...by Derek Joseph Zoolander, Male Model

The male models life, is a precious, precious commodity. Just because, we have chizzled abs, and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak, gasoline fight accident...

10:38 PM - 22 Comments - 30 Kudos - Add Comment