I GOT DA ILLEST JERSEY!!!!!
Current mood: angry

Yeah, yall need ta check out my brand new Nuggets throwback jersey in my pics. If anybody try ta tell you dat they's b-ball team brings it gayer den da Nugs, den dey fuckin crazy dude!!!!! I'm callin they's front office ta tell dem dat dey need ta rerun da Throwbacks cuz wit Carmelo Anthony sexin up da joint wit his boyish good looks and my new main dude AI lookin like he bout to go psycho on ya booty hole, we gonna be orgyin in da stands yall!!!!

I went by Uncle Chucky's alley ta show off ma new threads and spread sum Christmas cheer but he ain't feelin too good. He still tryin ta line up da cash fo his next dialysis treatment and ta renew his insulin but da john dat he had scheduled suddenly decided dat he couldn't handle gettin shit on and bailed. I want yall to have Chucky in ya prayers dat da universe will provide him wit a dude dat need da services only Chucky can provide.

5:29 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

What's Happenin in Denver, Westside - December 2006
Current mood: angry

Aight, as most of yall know, December is a quiet month cuz everyone getting ready fo da holidayz. But dat don't mean that they's nuthin fo a dude ta do. Most notably, da Denva University Bizness School is havin an alumni mixa at dat shitty-ass expensive place down Wadsworth wit da deck out back. I forget da name but I'm sure yall know what I'm talkin bout. Anyway, they let they's staff only take 5 minute breaks every half hour on da hour so dat leaves 25 minute blocks of time dat you can go down below da deck and get sum oral. I ain't neva had a problem wit dis except fo da time dat one of da waita came out back and puked cuz I think he wuz sick. Chucky sez he can pretty much tell da difference between any type of puke and dat wuz definitely sick puke. I'll take his word fo it cuz dat ain't my scene. Anyway, most time people ain't pukin at DU mixas, so if you want to give or receive some blowjobs then come on down. And I always say at da holidayz dat it's betta to give then to receive!!!!!! LOL on dat shit!!!!!! Oh, and no buttsex my dudez. Dis is an alumni association event and we don't need any of dat low class shit goin on cuz most of us alumni is wealthy bizness types who ain't into your loud gruntin anal trips. So go sumwhere else if you lookin fo dat.

Also, da day afta Christmas is one of da best fo gettin da raw materials yall need to deck out ya crib. Dis year, we gonna be roundin up shit tons of cardboard and styrofoam and building our den up in da woods on Clear Creek past where da paved bike path run out. We figurin on a livin room plus a separate bedroom if anyone need to leave da party to sleep or fuck they boyfriend. And we expect to round up enough materials to get dis one to last until at least April. Normally da mildew sorta rots through da cardboard by then and the deer get in and rip it apart. My boy Ramon wit da biology degree sez they probably attracted to da salt in all da dried up nut. But we gonna reinforce everything wit duct tape if Marky comes through so it'll hold up real good. And yall can do da same too in your neigbahood. And don't forget to invite ya boy Billy when you do!!!

Lastly, Christmas day is probably when sum of da best deals on oral is cuz bizness is so slow. Look fo da dudez wit needles marks or who shakin real bad cuz they'll probably settle fo 5 or 10 dollas at most.

3:37 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

AIGHT - MYSTERY SOLVED

So, fo those of you dats following the ongoin story of da massive turd I found, I now know who did it. I had spent just bout da last 3 nights hidin in da park figurin dat the culprit would return to da scene of da crime. But after all dat waitin, ain't noone showed up cept some dude who was makin out wit a girl - nasty. So, yestaday I finally gave up and walked back up Union to my favorite Arbys fo a bite to eat. Needless to say, I run in to Uncle Chucky and he says to me "Billy, why you smell terrible? Dat's more of my thing." And I'm like "Yo, I just spent 3 days in a park trying to find out who took this massive dump." Well, we get to talking bout it and I comes to find out dat the culprit was none otha than Uncle Chucky himself.

Turns out dat Uncle Chucky had decided one day to go take a walk to an old favorite haunt of his, Schlotzsky's Deli, to dig through theys trash for any good sandwiches to eat. Well, he ain't been ova on Union Blvd fo awhile, so da Deli was out of business. Well, Uncle Chucky got so mad dat he went ova to the park and dropped dat load right in public. Well, dats da Uncle Chucky dat I know, although I'm surprised that he parted wit a load dat easily since dats a big part of how he makes his money.

So I went back to da park to pay my last respects to da turd and then check dis shit out - I find a cat eating da turd! Now, normally cats don't do nasty shit like dat. I mean most dogs will eat any turd dey find, but not da cats cause they so clean. But yo, sho nuf, there's a cat eating da turd. So I'm watchin it eat da turd and da whole time da thing is starin at me and no shit, it got a boner. Well, then I realized dat this cat must be da reincarnation of my old crew mate Evil Eddy who was da dude dat I knew who would do nasty shit before I met Uncle Chucky. Cause EE used to always get hard and stare at me when he was drinkin piss or eatin other dudes shit. Oh, I should probably mention dat Eddy got shot with me back 2 years ago but he died.

So, I don't want to get all spiritual or nuthin here, but I think that Uncle Chucky was sent by some higha powa to take dat turd so dat me and EE could meet up again. Cause ain't no way you can logically explain all dat shit comin togetha by coincidence.

11:02 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

YALL LISTEN TO MY OLD SONG
Current mood: angry

Aight, I didn't want to have to post it, but Oral B been ridin my ass in a bad way bout how I ain't put my shit up. So I put an old song I recorded back when I was in college and experimentin with shit. I ain't to proud lookin back on it but yo, it was real at the time and dudes loved me bein all sensitive and shit.

I should also explain sumthin. When I let Uncle Chucky hear dat song in exchange for a handjob and the rest of his filet-o-fish, he said "What the fuck happened to your voice?" Uncle Chucky is pretty good about cuttin through all da bullshit and gettin to da point. Well, I used to sound all angelic and shit til I got shot back in 2004. You ever seen on ER when they shove them things down da throat of people who is all fucked up? Well, they did dat to me cause I was way fucked up and I think they fucked up my vocal chords or some shit like dat cause I ain't sounded the same since.

And yo, I don't want to hear any small minded talk bout my music jus cuz I wasn't always into hip-hop. I'm already plannin to release some of my favorite gay gospel tunes afta I finish my rap album. So fuck all yall!!! I'm tired of everybody constantly givin me shit bout everything. And fuck you Paco! You owe me 2 cups of 1% milk back bitch! I don't give a fuck if Miguel's cat is thirsty.

4:58 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

CHECK MY CBT EXCLUSIVE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current mood: angry

Yo, all yall hata-ass bitch muthafuckas who said ya boy Billy ain't really down wit da CBT can suck a fat clit cause I'm provin all yall wrong. Exclusive to my site is 3 CBT tracks dat you can't find nowhere else. How da fuck do you think I got dat shit if I ain't on da inside son? And trust me, when I say I inside da CBT, I mean dat as literally as possible cuz I'm runnin it up inside them but mostly they runnin it up inside me. I mean, when we in the same town which ain't often but it happens from time to time. And if called to testify, I can describe 4 very distinct features of Oral B's dick dat couldn't be just guessed. And listen to dem tracks then pay me some respect bitch!!!!

7:28 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

WHAT'S HAPPENIN IN DENVER, WESTSIDE - OCTOBER 2006
Current mood: angry

Aight, I know yall is clamorin fo da latest shit dats been goin down round ya boy Billy's hood. Now, I normally pride myself on bein all ova da place, but yo, lately I've mostly been cruisin da west side a town cause dats where me and Paco is livin these days. So all yall on da east side, don't yall worry cause ya boy Billy will still be comin round when he get da chance, but like I always say, as long as ya butthole don't close up as tight as it once did, it's like I'm always wit ya.

First off, if  ya heard some strange sounds comin from dat rental house ova in the subdivision off Jewell near Kipling, dat was a porno bein shot. It was fo a movie called Human Toilets 8: Da Middle Passage. It was supposed ta be loosely based off da movie Amistad, cept instead of a slave mutiny, I guess they spend most of they time doin nasty shit to each otha. My boy Uncle Chucky was cast as a slave trader who drops a deuce on this dude wit I swear a 12 incher. But yo, da produca said dat Chucky's cock piercing wasn't authentic fo da 19th century which led to a whole beef and Uncle Chucky quittin da film. So Chucky's back at da Burger King on Colfax waitin fo sumthin else ta come up. And I don't know bout what gonna happen wit da movie cause I heard they havin trouble findin a dude to take ova fo Chucky. I guess they ain't as many dudes that can dump on camera as Craigslist would have you believe.

Ova in Golden, they gonna be doin some road construction. I was ova on da campus of that college there cause I met some dude named Sam who said he liked to suck a dick between classes cause it made him feel all nasty when he was back in class still tastin da last dude. So on my way ova to his pickup truck, I saw a sign on da main street talking bout how they doin construction soon or sumthin like dat. So yo, don't be whinin bout it cause now ya heard.

If you stoppin by da Colorado Mills mall, be sure to check out da Saks 5th Avenue outlet. They gots some nice deals on handbags right now if you looking to upgrade. Yo season's changin, so don't be caught wit a summa bag. Dat shit is embarrassin fo you and whoeva's standin next to you.

Lastly, if you bitches ain't been followin my boyz da CBT close enough then you ain't heard bout da turd I found ova in da park ova by Van Gordon and 2nd St in Lakewood. Dat thing was 18 inches long if it was an inch and thick as my arm. I'm almost certain it was human cause I don't think grizzly bear shit look like dat. So  yo, if you ova hangin out by dat pond wit da fountains and all dat, check that log out. Fuckin da dude that dropped dat thing must be like fuckin a sewer pipe - loose and nasty.

1:07 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

WHY I AIN'T GOT NO TUNES YET
Current mood: angry
Category: Music

Aight, so this is my first blog. Yestaday my roomie Paco said I should start a blog bout my music career and alla dat. I made a joke bout how I ain't got no blog but I had a log for his B. He didn't seem to appreciate da humor of dat, but I think sumthin was lost in da translation cause like dey say, my spanish is betta den his english.

So people keep sayin "Yo, get summa ya tunes up Billy." And I'm all like "Yo, I get my tunes up when I'm ready muthafucka!" I'm tryin to get sum tunes recorded and all that, but yo, dat shit is expensive! I tried to talk my boy Oral B from da CBT into hooking me up wit summa they's time, but he keep saying dat I gotta do dis on my own while they sortin themselves out. So, I met dis dude down in Denver who runs a little studio and I said to him, "Yo, my shit is da bomb!" Anyway, we ended up fuckin fo like 4 hours and then when we done I say, "Yo, so you gonna hook me up wit sum studio time now?" And he gets all teary and starts sayin "I thought you loved me" and all that shit. So, dat didn't work out too good. So I'm back to lookin for a dude that will trade studio time for sum fuckin or maybe lite urine play. Uncle Chucky said he knew a producer dat was into dat, but turns out he was a movie producer which don't help me none. And not even like good movies, he makes film strips for elementary schools and shit like dat.

So like I said, I get tunes up when summa you cheap muthafuckas hook ya boy up. I do got dis one song dat I recorded back befo I got into da rap game, but yo, it's kinda embarrasin. Oral B says I should put it up anyway and Paco says he wants to listen to it when he given Miguel a massage, so I guess I will. But I'm still tryin to figya dis computa shit out, so when I'm ready muthafuckas!!!!

11:39 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment