Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 30
Sign: Capricorn
City: Los Angeles
State: CALIFORNIA
Country: US
Signup Date:
01/04/05
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August 31, 2008 - Sunday
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Trust God, but pray for rain
Current mood:  amused
Category: Religion and Philosophy
This is this first time I've ever done any kind of follow up to a previous blog, let alone consecutively, but recent events have prompted me to do so. My last blog talked about how so-called believers in the almighty have little or no faith in their creator as demonstrated by the effort they make to intervene in what could be argued is God's plan. It's the next post down, so I needn't explain it again. I didn't realise that prior to my writing it, James Dobson of Focus on the Family had one of his cronies make a video calling for prayers for "abundant rain, torrential rain....flood advisory rain," in Denver on August 28th, the night Barack Obama was to accept (and now has) the Democratic nomination. As the final night of the convention was moved from an indoor arena to an outdoor football stadium, I suppose they saw this as an opportunity to silence his message. As is turns out, it did NOT rain last night. No, it was a perfect evening and Obama was able to deliver his magnificent speech without a hitch. The speech was everything it needed to be riddled with solutions, quelling doubts and reaching out across the political divide and uniting. Very un-Christian sort of stuff, as you can see. So if Dobson believes in God's plan, and God "let" this invigorating speech happen, why would he have prayed against it? God's plan and prayers don't add up. A prayer is like saying "Yo God, your plan sucks balls. Can you do this instead?" The lack of rain leaves a gazillion unanswered prayers. If this isn't God sending a message as to his "plan" I don't know what is. Dobson and cronies, don't you think this might be a SIGN FROM GOD that you should vote for Obama? I know, I know, it's only a message from God or part of his plan when it suits your agenda. Carry on. But wait! There's talk of postponing the Republican convention, scheduled for next week as a full force hurricane is scheduled to hit the Gulf Coast. Nowhere near the convention itself, but it should coincide with it, stealing headlines and serving as an apt reminder of how skillfully the present administration handled Katrina. Now THAT'S a message from God I can get behind. Maybe this "God" fellow isn't so bad after all...oh, now I'm being like them.
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Currently
listening
:
Let Love In
By
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Release date: 1996-02-13
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5:12 AM
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7 Comments - 9 Kudos
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August 20, 2008 - Wednesday
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The faithless faithful
Category: Religion and Philosophy
I was just reading the cover of a record entitled Ten Reasons Why Madalyn Murray O'Hair Must Be Stopped...and Ten Ways To Stop Her. I didn't know who Madalyn Murray O'Hair was, but according to the cover, she was an atheist attorney who sought for the removal of prayer and Bible reading in public schools. She succeeded, bless her heart, so this record is an effort by preacher, Bob Harrington to stop her atheist views being spread. While further reading has suggested she was a bit of a corrupt sicko, I'm still surprised Harrington was so scared of her.
Upon reading that record cover, it reminded me of a conversation my friend, a reasonable and loving Christian, had with his brother-in-law, a right wing, evangelical, hate-filled Christian. I presume hate-filled since the brother-in-law was delighting in the fact that on the November ballot there will a measure to annul the gay marriages which were recently allowed by the California Supreme Court. This dipshit brother-in-law had the narrow-mindedness to say that if the gays weren't stopped that the human race would die out. Yes, he really said that.
I must say I am baffled by the desire for any religious organisation to legislate their doctrine. How little faith can they have in their God that they think you need to legislate to save the human race? Do they think God is simply going to let the human race die out? If it does die out from butt-fucking and kooch slamming gaining so much popularity, then wouldn't it be safe to say that that's part of God's plan and those who do not succumb to the lure of Satan will be spared eternal torment and instead enjoy eternity at the right hand of the father?
God needs you to stop this abomination.
I've said for a long time, and as seen in the aforementioned examples, that I think often the most die hard believers haven't the faith they claim to have or think they have. They are scared to trust God, and not scared enough of God himself to follow his teachings. If they really believed in eternal damnation, there would be a clearer moral distinction between the actions of believers and non, but there isn't. Jesus taught of love and forgiveness, and these evangelical Christians are caught up in something very different. Proselytising and living behind a facade of what it means to be a good person does not a good person make. Playing along with this facade has resulted in a complete misplacement of values and love among Evangelicals in America who would rather support the pro-life, Bible bashing candidate who uses religion to win votes, while ignoring this same constituency on economic and social issues. These people distrust God so much, they are easily swayed into aligning themselves with the side that only pays lip service to moral interests, while completely ignoring the core of Jesus' message. As long as there is someone supporting prayer in school, they don't really care about the people who have no homes, food or health care. That is what legislation should be working to fix, not solving the woes of this apparently weak God who can't fend for himself and get his own shit done.
It use to irritate me, but now I laugh, when believers feel sorry for me and my lack of belief because it again just highlights their distrust in God. Examples like these also show how scared these people are. I'm not scared of the things they are scared of. I'm not scared of dying. I don't want to die, but I'm not scared of it. I'm scared of people I love dying, but I don't really care about myself (though I do fear any physical pain that may accompany the dying. No thanks.)
These people who fear the world will go gay or their kids will go gay show so little faith in themselves as parents (since they believe it's a choice) and in their God. They have no faith that God will shine his light, or whatever he's supposed to do to keep these kids on the right path. They don't have faith in their own abilities as parents, perhaps because they palm off too much responsibility onto God who they deep down don't have faith in. I think in their subconscious, these people know what I know. If you want to get things done, you need to do it yourself. I believe this and work toward this. If one is consumed by the idea that God is taking care of things, but deep down doesn't think he can, they end up making leaps of faith they don't believe in only to be left asking "Why?" when things don't work out. They seem to have as much faith in God to keep the world God loving and heterosexual as one would have handing over their taxes to a Taco Bell cashier who says she's good at maths. Instead, they no show no faith by legislating and protesting to get the job done. It shows as much faith God as if you hired an accountant from H & R Block to oversee what the Taco Bell employee was doing with your tax return. No faith at all. These people are intervening to make sure God does what he says he wants done.
 I'm sorry, but I just can't believe I found a picture of a man and a Taco Bell employee holding something that looks like a cheque or government form.
If a family loses a someone through a tragedy like a car accident, or cancer, or anything, the loss is attributed to "God's will" or "God was teaching us a lesson." however when it comes to gays taking over the world, why are people not so trusting in God's plan then? Perhaps God knows there are too many people in this world and is trying to cull the population by creating less people who will procreate. Why are these people so distrustful of God's plan when the plan presents something scary like homosexuals or people who don't believe in God? I understand they probably justify these things as fighting Satan, but seriously, these people need to get over themselves! Do they really think they are more powerful than GOD? Of course they aren't if he is who they claim he is, so why the fuck does he need help from them? God will take of it...or will he?
It is a relief to point out that not all believers are like this. There are plenty of good Christians who will allow God's will to unfold as it should (or maybe they are just complacent, I don't know.) In the Saddleback forum which took place this past weekend in which Presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama fielded questions regarding how their beliefs factored into their candidacy, Obama had the following to say on the subject of gay marriage. While he opposes gay marriage (which greatly disappoints me), he also opposes an amendment to the constitution to ban it. Here's what he said:
"I think my faith is strong enough and my marriage is strong enough that I can afford those civil rights to others even if I have a different perspective or a different view." - Barack Obama on rights for same sex couples.
He seems to trust his God a lot more than the most outspoken "believers", and yet they don't buy into his style of Christianity.
It must really suck to be these people. They are scared of so much and the thing (God) that is supposed to protect them from such horrors, they don't even trust that he knows what he's doing. If they truly believe he has a master plan, they need to get out of everyone else's business and let God work his magic.
Don't sweat it! If the gays and non-believers get out of hand, he can do this in two shakes of a lamb's tail or less!
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Currently
listening
:
Scary Monsters
By
David Bowie
Release date: 1999-09-28
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7:24 AM
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7 Comments - 10 Kudos
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August 8, 2008 - Friday
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Occasional innocence
Current mood:  tired
Category: Romance and Relationships
It's always a treat to watch a movie again that you knew well as a kid and realise how much innuendo you missed, simply due to the fact that you just too young at the time to know the ways of the world and to grasp the debauchery before you. I somehow managed to believe, though I knew about sex, that in Teen Wolf, when Scott stays back after the theatre rehearsal and Pamela takes off her bra in front him that he kept his clothes on and all they did was kiss. The howl Principal Rusty Thorn hears from the parking lot was merely because Scott was happy to making out with Pamela. I saw it again a few years ago and at the moment of the howl thought "Oh! They were totally fucking and he just blew his load!"
  Pamela Wells gets out her goodies for the lucky Scott, but they just kiss and that's it.Another classic incident was from Ghostbusters when, while interviewing the librarian following her encounter with the free floating vapour in the basement, Venkman asks "Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?" However at the age of 7 and onward for several years after that, I heard it as (since I didn't know what menstruating was) "Are you Alice Menstrating, right now?" like that was her name and he was asking her if she was herself. When the other librarian asks "What's that got to do with it?" "Back off man. I'm a scientist." was the perfect answer because, duh, it was a perfectly valid question to ask if she was Alice Menstrating at that moment! She might have been possessed! Boy, what a revelation that gag was when I saw the movie again! The offending librarian ghost who just scared the shit out of poor Alice Menstrating.
And then there was that scene in The Neverending Story where Atreyu's horse Artex appears to be sinking into Swamp of Sadness and DYING. Boy, how I cried, but I watched it again and clearly, he's just sinking down into another chamber to hold hot "counsel" with other horses and unicorns. Yeah, that's what's really happening in that scene. He's TOTALLY, 100% alive though. I was so naive...
I'm sure everyone can think of instances like these, but as we grow up, through constant exposure to sex and innuendo, most of us are desensitised and see the crude and sexual gags as they were intended. My sister saw Pretty Woman at age 11 and didn't know what Vivian did for a living but that's just not going to happen today. As for me, I became the the foul mouthed, perverted minded person I am now at quite a young age, but there have been a couple of incidents recently, which show a shred of naivety left in me. Rather than being embarrassed by these things going over my head, I'm going to embrace them.
A couple of years ago, there were posters posted around our neighbourhood for the LA Leather Festival. I didn't think much about it, until Gregg asked our friend Emma who was visiting, with a faux sex voice "Soooo, are you going to the LA leather festival?" and Emma said she might and snickered and I just thought nothing of this exchange. I was just against a leather festival from being a vegetarian and an avoider of leather. I'm not sure how it was revealed, but it soon came to be known that I thought the LA Leather Festival was some sort of celebration of leather and it's uses and would sport a wide selection of belts and handbags. Once I realised what, in one of the gayest pockets of LA, the festival was, I sure felt daft. Still, I appreciated that for once, my mind didn't go straight to the gutter as it usually does. Which leather festival suits your needs?
The most recent incident occurred at a Supergrass/Foo Fighters show. Stephanie and I were waiting around to go backstage after the Supergrass set and I saw a guy with a t-shirt that I thought said "Put Willy Wonka In Your Chocolate Factory" and I just thought it was a cute, and funny suggestion to other chocolatiers to make their factories better by putting the master, Willy Wonka in charge. I expressed this to Stephanie and she just laughed at me and said something like "They are talking about putting his wiener in your butthole!" and I said "No way!" and defended it. She went on to say it said "Put MY Willy Wonka in your Chocolate Factory" but since a fold in the shirt or faulty contact lenses made it difficult to see, I missed the "my". (I swear I'd have gotten it if I'd seen that) I insisted it was a nice sentiment being corrupted by Stephanie's sick mind. I usually hold her sick mind in the highest regard, but in this instance, I was against it. Stephanie later relayed the exchange to Gaz from Supergrass to which he said "He's talking about his penis." I was starting to realise I'd lost this one and I went on to explain my error with the LA Leather Festival. Gaz said it was nice to be innocent sometimes (I just hope he didn't think I was always that daft since we'd just met) and provided he wasn't humouring me, I agree with that sentiment.  Here's the shirt. I was wrong. It says "MY" plain as day.
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Currently
listening
:
Mr. Bungle
By
Mr. Bungle
Release date: 1991-08-06
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6:58 AM
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7 Comments - 10 Kudos
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July 22, 2008 - Tuesday
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Cystfully yours
Category: Parties and Nightlife
As cyst pictures are too gross, here are some cute animals instead! A friend of mine has discovered a lump on her neck which she is concerened about. Her mother calls it a "neck bunion" which delights me no end. Our mutual friend alerted her the fact that I had recently dealt with a sebaceous cyst on my head, so she messaged me seeking, advice, comfort and pep. Here's what I wrote...
Oh it is SO okay to talk about my cyst! I'm happy to talk about it to anyone willing to listen and even some who aren't.
So my famous "lump" appeared perhaps 6-7 years ago on top of my head, a little to one side and visible to no-one. I was mildly concerned but my mum and Gregg insisted I get it checked out. I think I forgot to get it checked for a long time just because it was just there and never bothered me except for the fact that it grew/grows pube type hairs from that spot. I would be happy to put one in the mail for you with a guarantee that it's from my head.
So anyway, I had it checked out and the doctor said it was a sebaceous cyst which forms when a pore gets blocked. He said it was nothing to worry about unless it got bigger or if it hurt. He said to remove it, it would have to be cut open and pulled out (not drained like I'd hoped) which made me quite fearful of the whole process. Given my fear of needles, I was glad I could ignore it. I went on with no pain or growth, but after a couple of years, my mum and Gregg insisted it was bigger and that I should get it checked again. Again, the doctor said it was fine and not to worry about it.
This is Yakini, my beloved gorilla at the Melbourne Zoo. Finally, a few more years passed, I was tired of it. Maybe it had grown and was in my way more, or maybe I was just suddenly more aware of it. It was always in the way if I would try to rest my head on a wall or sleep on a plane window on my left side. My head would just sort of roll on the nut and I had choose a less comfortable tilt of the head to work around it. I was going to get it out last year while in Australia, but I went into the doctor with not enough time before I left the country again for the cyst removal and subsequent stitch removal. In the following months, I went a bit mad and once tried to pop it with a pin (which I later read you SO shouldn't do). I knew Gregg wouldn't approve of this so my attempt occurred one night when I was home alone. I revealed this indiscretion at a tiki bar while intoxicated and as predicted, he was very annoyed at me, looking aghast while I told our friends. Another symptom of my frenzy, hereby known as "lump fever" was the time I plucked out all the pube hairs and left a small bald patch over the lump. My next trip to the hairdresser was a bit embarassing as he thumped my bald patch with his finger and asked what was going on.
So, when I went to Australia this past January, I sucked it up and booked the double appointment to get the cyst removed. I was so scared that I screamed at my mum because I told her not to book it until after my birthday because I didn't want to be thinking about it coming up and being unhappy. She went ahead an booked it anyway for AFTER my birthday but told me about it before which is exactly what I told her I did not want. She's a bit demented like that. I just knew I would be scared the whole time leading up to it so I didn't want a time set, so I went nuts at her and made her cancel it. After my birthday was over, I booked my own appointment.
When the big day came, I was quite terrified but calmer than I thought. I asked the doctor about liquid stitches I'd heard about on TV and he said that was rubbish and that I should chill out. I warned him I might cry and he said that he thought HE might cry and then I laughed and was marginally happier. When he approached with the needle to numb it, I started hyperventilating as I do when needles approach but with a quick nick, that portion was over with and numb. The doctor came back five minutes later to start cutting and I got all scared again but what he was doing just felt like a little scrape! It was completely fine and I wasn't at all bothered by it. He then pulled the lump out with a tweezer thing and showed me the little white egg I had grown. Steph told me it would be like an egg and she was right! I was quite impressed by it! It was probably about 1/2"/1cm long. He then put the cyst in a jar, stitched me up which didn't bother me at all and then it was all over. I was most afraid of the stitches but they were no sweat and I later remarked that I could have that procedure done to me all day! The doctor said he was taking my lump to pathology just to confirm it was a benign cyst and after he rounded the corner with it I called him back for one last look. If I could have kept my little egg, I would have.
So everything was fine and didn't hurt. He gave me some antibiotics that could mix with alcohol (he was so thoughtful because I didn't ask!) and I was on my way. As the anaesthetic wore off several hours later, it started to hurt, but I just got really drunk that night and hardly noticed it. I went back in a week and got my stitches removed and that was the absolute end of it. I wasn't keen on that final procedure, but again it wasn't much of anything.
I was worried the whole thing would cost about $300 but it only cost $60! I thought I had to pay for the return visit to remove the stitches but that was included! I then got the $80 bill from pathology and I went to pay that but that was covered by Medicare! And my antibiotics were only $6! You can see why I waited to go back to Australia to get it taken care of! So that's my story. I hope it makes dealing with a sebaceous cyst sound like a barrel of fun. I really wouldn't be afraid to have it done again and now when I sit on the left hand side of planes, I roll my head against the wall like a loving cat.
THE END
*NOTE* The title "Cystfully yours" was how my friend signed her email in response to this message.
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Currently
listening
:
Metallica
By
Metallica
Release date: 1991-08-12
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11:35 AM
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12 Comments - 15 Kudos
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June 9, 2008 - Monday
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Trials and tribulations in blood donation
Current mood:  scared
 B.B. The Blood Drop
When my friend Dan and I were 17, he expressed a great interest in donating blood. Dan and I made frequent trips into the city (we lived an hour out of downtown Melbourne) but this one time, Dan expressed that he had done a bunch of research and planned to give blood this day. I admired his decision and we planned to head over to the blood bank on Collins Street after doing our usual round of record stores. As the day wore on, Dan got antsy to get to the blood bank. We headed down there, only to find after the arduous walk to the arse end of town that the bank closed at some stupid hour like 3 or 4pm. Whatever the case, we had missed it. We left and Dan was very cranky about not being about to donate blood. Gosh, I couldn't believe he wanted to give blood so badly! What a sweetheart, even if he wore stupid silky goth shirts and red lipstick that he was too embarrassed to buy on his own. It was nice to see he was as dedicated to this little cause as he was to his fussing about his goth appearance with clothes and cosmetics.  Some goth kids, much like Dan's crew at the time.Not long after, while I was not with him, he told me he had made another attempt to donate blood, this time arriving during business hours only to be told that as he was under 18, he required written consent from his parents. Foiled again! Finally, on a third trip, Dan made it there, during business hours, with the parental slip. It was finally going to happen. The person tending to him pricked his finger for a mere sample, but Dan fainted. After they roused him, he was put in a wheelchair and given a donut. No blood was given and it seemed as though he could not handle it as he shared my belonephobia (fear of needles) so blood donation was quite out of the question altogether. Poor Dan. After all his gallant efforts, he simply couldn't go through with the procedure. After this incident, while attending a stage version of Trainspotting, Dan fainted in his seat as one of the actors described in detail the injecting of a needle. Holy crap! He was worse than me! So Dan and I are now 30 and over the years since his fateful trip to the blood bank, I have told the story many times, always with a swell in my heart for his good intentions. In that time, my own fear of needles has increased. It already existed at that time, but I think it has only gotten worse. I've required a few blood samples and shots in that time, and all have resulted in hyperventilating, and on one occasion, crying. If I am told I need a blood test I ask it be done immediately as the anticipation for it makes me crazy. When I was in year 8, my friend who was two years older got a tetanus shot at school. I feared this shot for two whole years, so by the time I was in year 10 and everyone my age was getting the shot, I dodged the co-ordinated who hunted me down for my permission slip (which I had not given to my parents) and on the day of the needle I stayed behind in the graphics room with the daft Mr. C who was too clueless to question why I was the only one not going for the needle. I wish I was as smart as Kristen who wisely got her slip signed, but then crossed out the needle part and only got the oral sabin against polio. I was willing to risk polio to not have that needle. Dan's donation attempt always inspired me, but I knew I just couldn't do it. I then set about encouraging others who do not fear needles to donate blood. I felt that in doing so, I was doing my bit. I had been nagging at my sister for some time, since she actually stares at the whole injecting process with much delight, to go and donate blood. She was keen, and after a few years of urging, she finally got around to it and I believe she has now done so twice. I was once at a party and got talking to my friend's mum who is a blood bank nurse. I told her my whole scheme of encouraging others since I was too fearful myself and asked her what she thought. To my delight she was 100% behind my plan and told me how frustrating it is dealing with people like me who freak out and that's it's more trouble than it's worth. She also looked at my veins and deemed them crappy and hard to find, further supporting my reasons not to personally give blood. Once I got this vindication from the blood bank nurse, I proceeded about my business of badgering others.  This could be yours if The Prick is Right!I've not really badgered too many, mainly my sister, so I urge you now, if you are not afraid of needles, please give blood! From what I just read on Wikipedia, blood banks struggle to keep a three day supply for day to day blood transfusions. If you can go in there, suck it up and give blood without a fuss, please do it! In the USA, head to The American Red Cross site, or in Australia, the Australian Red Cross. Anywhere else, just bloody Google it yourself. Back to Dan, as I said, I've been telling his sad story for 13 years now. Dan and his girlfriend were visiting Gregg and I in LA a couple of months ago and I thought it only right to fill Geri in on one of my favourite Dan stories. I got through the whole thing as I have told you after which point Dan added a footnote to the story which I never knew about my former goth friend, "You know, the only reason I was doing it was because I thought it would make me pale."
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Currently
listening
:
Version
By
Mark Ronson
Release date: 2007-06-12
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1:55 AM
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18 Comments - 21 Kudos
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June 3, 2008 - Tuesday
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Kenny G: The devil is smooth
Category: Music
A few weeks ago, I was assaulted*. Aurally that is. As I stepped into the restaurant, the attack was immediate. I had the opportunity to walk right out, but instead I stayed only to be aurally abused for the next 20-25 minutes. An entire Kenny G album was playing at Vegan House on this particular day. I ate fast and left a little of my meal so I could get out of there sooner as I really couldn't stand it. I almost asked them to turn it off. While you would think a vegan restaurant in the hip Los Angeles neighbourhood of Silverlake would cater to their clientele, the folks at Vegan House seem only concerned with providing delicious vegan food, aware only that people in this area are more likely to eat this food, but otherwise know nothing else about them, or the rest of mankind in general. I am always amazed at any public broadcasts of Kenny G's music as I thought the widespread disgust for this sound, while appreciated by some (including the woman who bore me), was a universally known joke. Kenny G seems like such an easy target, it seems almost silly to mention it. It's so "goes without saying" that saying it seems futile to discuss it further. It is because the disgust for Kenny has become so autonomous that I feel I must really flesh out the problem as to why this music is more widely loathed than loved, no matter how many plebeians claim to be fans.  In case you needed a new reason to loathe him, here's this...Admittedly, music and taste are subjective and with so many millions of G albums sold, he must be appealing to someone on some level. But I feel that among fans there is a "goes without saying" sensuality about his music that doesn't really "go" at all . Instead, I find it "sensual" in the same way as having one's overweight, large reddened-nosed boss come up from behind and put that music on while he does something "beautiful" to you. Only you don't want it. It's fucking gross and wrong. Yep, I think it's beautiful in the way molestation is beautiful to the molester. Hearing it makes me feel molested.
That's how I feel when I hear Kenny G. Violated. This feeling which I get when I hear even a few seconds of his music is what leads me to write this. In hearing it, I can understand why someone with a poor understanding of good music could be wooed into thinking it's "beautiful" but it seems like a complete perversion of the word. To me, it's as beautiful as when Aussies have "curry night" and make some bastardised version of a curry with apples and raisins and a few specks of curry powder and think they are eating a great curry (I'm from a curry family. I know what a curry is supposed to be). Or when someone from a small town in the midwest goes "oriental" and wears a tacky kimono for a bath robe that they bought at the local craft store. It's taking a great thing and ruining it and not realising what's been done. People who don't know any better or don't have a real taste for better things will be appeased, even moved by these things. But when you do now better, you can see how fucking wrong they are. It is for this reason that I think the horrors of Kenny G go beyond a matter of taste and is actually, without question, simply BAD.  Here he goes, butchering more beloved songs. I can never forgive him for what he did to "Over The Rainbow". What a cunt.Again, I'm aware that taste in music is subjective, but I feel that it is safe to say that Kenny's music is out and out bad. It's a fact. Am I an asshole? Possibly.
Here is an interview I did with multi instrumentalist, Bär McKinnon of Umläut, more commonly known for his fabulous sax playing with Mr. Bungle. I thought it wise to get a real sax player's views on this controversial issue.
Hello Bär, and thank you for giving us your time and insight on this important and delicate subject.
How do you feel when you hear Kenny G?
When I hear Kenny G my first thought/feeling is..Do these people around me actually LIKE this ..? Also, car-sick.
Do you feel Kenny G has given the saxophone a bad name?
Yes. Kenny G has given the soprano sax a bad name to a certain extent. (And don't dare have the same hair or fashion sense as him, for God's sake!) But only if the player is playing something Kenny G-ish. There are successful offenders of taste on probably every instrument, though. It has more to do with how he plays and his choice of notes that make him an easy target. His technique is arguably pretty good. Pretty, ..pretty, good.
Do you think Kenny G has led to bands shying away from using the saxophone due to the bad reputation he's given it?
I think he's definitely carved out a certain niche that all players can easily identify/avoid. Sax isn't the first instrument a cool band might want to add to their line-up, I reckon. The Rapture seem to get away with it. So did David Bowie. People like K.G. have made me use my sax less and hopefully with more interesting/worthy results.
How different do you think the saxophone would be perceived if Kenny G had not existed?
It wouldn't be so easily caught out as a potentially dorky instrument.
Have you ever started to play something and stopped yourself feeling it was "too Kenny G"?
Yes, I'd say I was guilty of that. It's easy to spot, and as such, should be easy to avoid. Having said that, I think cheesy, "sexy" sax playing in small doses can be ok and possibly even ironic in a good way.
Would you say you were a sax maniac?
Is this a pun..? I guess I am since I've invested so much time in it up to this point. I can't give up now, ya know?
Thanks you for your insight, and may I say you have never produced anything with your saxophone that has made me cringe.
I found out this is based on golfing skill, not musical.
*I hope this doesn't create a "boy who cried wolf" scenario for me. I swear if I ever declare assault again without immediate follow up to the actual nature of the situation, then I really was assaulted.
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Currently
listening
:
Adriano Celentano - Greatest Hits
By
Adriano Celentano
Release date: 2001-10-29
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11:24 PM
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17 Comments - 20 Kudos
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May 8, 2008 - Thursday
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The Circle Game
Category: Games
Originally written on Feb 17, 2007, finished up today.
My sister's husband, Sam used to play this game with his brother and he re-introduced it to my sister and I when I was last visiting Australia. Whenever it is explained, it sounds really juvenile and people roll their eyes at it. But once it catches on, people can't get enough and seem to let go of their need to maintain maturity.
The game works like this: One person makes a circle by touching their thumb and fore finger, the rest of the fingers sort of fanned apart. The object of the game is to trick the other person into looking at the circle. If they do, you get to punch them. Apparently it was quite violent between Sam and his brother, but now a good natured gentle punch is all we deliver, more to bring shame upon the person who looked, for looking.
There are a few rules. The circle only counts if you are showing the back of your hand. The palm side does not count. You aren't allowed to stick the circle in a person's face, and you can't put it in a place they were already looking. But something as simple as placing it on your shoulder while they are talking to you is enough as they can't help but look. Other popular methods are to make the circle as you hand them something or put it on a door knob that is about to be grasped and so on. You can get very creative with it. Another rule is that you aren't allowed to say "Look at my knee!" and have it placed there. You could however say "I think I have a bee sting on my knee." which would likely prompt the person to look without being instructed to do so. A punch then ensues.
 
 
One of my favourite "gets" was the time Rebecca, Sam and I went to get a pizza. Sam and I waited in the car, which was parked right in front of the pizza shop, while Rebecca went in to grab the pizza. Sam and I were chatting and looking around, then at the same time, we both looked into the pizza shop to see her doing the circle at us. We were impressed and distressed by her ability to get us from such a distance. Another favourite was when Sam texted us a picture of him doing the circle, followed by another picture of his fist coming at the screen. Whether it counts is a bit suspect as it was in a "forced to look" scenario, but he gets 50 hilarity and ingenuity points, and for that, I accepted my punch. Oh! I can't forget the time they got by giving me a wrapped gift and when I unwrapped it, to find a package of rubber gloves, the gloved hand making the circle on the package.
 
A couple of great ones achieved via the internets. Any "gets" obtained not in person have their punches put in the "punch bank".
Maybe you're reading this and thinking it sounds dumb, but I promise you, anyone who doesn't have a stick firmly up their ass will eventually find endless enjoyment from this game once they let their guard down. Plus, it's fun to punch people.
12:51 AM
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13 Comments - 13 Kudos
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May 1, 2008 - Thursday
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A fish is not a vegetable
Category: Food and Restaurants
As you may or may not know, I'm a vegetarian and have been for almost 9 years. While in my ideal world, no-one would eat meat, I do not judge you harshly if you do. I am, however, writing this clear up what it actually means to be a vegetarian as it seems a few bad eggs are tarnishing the definition. Too many people lately have been showing me that the meaning of the word has been blurred by offering me things which, by proper definition, I do not eat.
If you do not eat, beef, chicken, pork or fish, congratulations! You are a vegetarian!
Did you see what was in that sentence? FISH. Vegetarians eat a plant based diet and do not eat any dead animals. A fish is a dead animal and not a plant.
Too many people lately have been saying to me, following my stating that I am a vegetarian, "Oh, okay, but you eat fish, right?" When I say "No." it is followed with a puzzled expression, and possibly a little fear that I am some extremist nut after which comes the well intentioned offer of salad. These fish eaters who call themselves "vegetarians" have been ruining it for us.
If you are someone who eats fish, but no other meat, you are still NOT a vegetarian. Please stop saying that you are if you have been.
 In no way, shape or form is she a vegetarian.
If you are a carnivore and someone tells you they are a vegetarian, please do not assume they eat fish. If it turns out they do, they've misrepresented themselves.
Someone saying they are a vegetarian when they eat fish is no different to someone claiming they aren't racist, but only hate Asians.
Jonathy: Gosh, I can't wait for November. This election is going to be historic!
Benjamund: Yeah! I think it will be really exciting! I hope Hillary whoops McCain's ass.
Jonathy: You don't like Obama?
Benjamund: Are you kidding me? A guy like that's going do some crazy shit like appoint someone to the FDA to put fried chicken and watermelon on the top of the food pyramid! Plus he'll probably clean out the White House after his term. He's probably already cased the joint.
Jonathy: Fuck, dude! I never knew you were so racist!
Benjamund: What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not racist! My best friend is Iranian and my wife is Vietnamese! It's just blacks I don't like. I can't believe you thought I was racist!
See that? Benjamund only hates ONE little race, but it's enough to make him racist. If you eat just that one little species of animal, such as fish, you're not a vegetarian, you're a pescetarian. Read about it, learn about it, embrace it. Count me out of it. I'm a vegetarian. Use your word and popularise it and leave my word out of it! I'm not judging you for your food choices, but your word choices. I know it might be easier to use that term, but it's inaccurate and making my life difficult.
I'm the kind of dork that writes letters to companies to complain about faulty merchandise and such, so here is my letter to Dictionary.com (they DO have a section for people to write to point out incorrect definitions, so I'm not entirely crazy) regarding their definition of "pescetarian" which says they are a vegetarian who eats fish:
I'm writing regarding the definition you have for the word "pescetarian". The definition on the site states that a pescetarian is a vegetarian who eats fish. This is an oxymoron. By your site's own definition, a vegetarian is someone who does not eat any meat, including fish. Your definition of a pescetarian could be acceptable if you were also to accept the notion of a virgin who only has sex on weekends or an equal rights activist who is homophobic. A vegetarian who eats fish ceases to be a vegetarian. A better definition can be found on Wiktionary which states a pescetarian is someone who consumes no animal flesh, with the exception of fish. I hope you can see this inaccuracy and amend the definition of pescetarian accordingly.
 
  
Here's just a few of the many things we vegetarians eat that aren't salad!
***NOTE*** I searched for pictures of vegetarian Thai, but clearly my point is illustrated because the pad thai picture has a prawn in it, thus making it NOT vegetarian. Whoever put that up thinks it is, but as a vegetarian, I could not eat it. Thanks Ag for spotting the prawn!
10:59 PM
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26 Comments - 18 Kudos
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April 30, 2008 - Wednesday
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Lesbos
Category: School, College, Greek
This just in: The Lesbians of the island of Lesbos are suing a Greek Gay and Lesbian group over use of the name "lesbian". "My sister can't say she's a Lesbian." reads one quote! This article is a gay fan's wet dream and great follow up to my last blog. I thought it was an article from a publication similar to The Onion, at first.
10:47 AM
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7 Comments - 4 Kudos
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April 24, 2008 - Thursday
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I’ll give you gay
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping
I love gayness. I love it in all forms. I love cheesy gay, silly gay, happy gay, lame gay and of course the mother of all gays, homosexual gay. Calling things "gay" was so big in high school and the word rolled off my tongue like nobody's business. So upon my first trip to San Francisco, I was worried I was going to get into a lot of trouble with my apparent misuse and seemingly derogatory use of the word "gay". Luckily I was not hanging out with uptight, PC San Franciscans, so I survived the trip without being called a homophobe or getting straight bashed. I find "gay" very flexible. Like "fuck", you can put that in almost anywhere and it's almost as good. Since the homosexual use is something that morphed from it just meaning happy, I don't know why I can't be free to morph the word to other meanings. When I see something lame and say "How gay." I'm not thinking "That's lame, much like sex between two consenting males." It has nothing to with homosexuality. It's just a good, fun word. Is this wrong? I don't want to be a pig-headed ass.
 Gay times on my sister's wedding day. The photographer inadvertently made us do it with his cheesy motivations for poses. When they were signing the registry, he called the groom "tiger".
I have to say gayness was a huge point of bonding between Stephanie and I. Early in our correspondence we learned that we loved gays and also to be gay, and this has really kept the magic in our friendship. While this common interest was already established, I was delighted when some true cementing of this fact appeared. I was in Palm Springs in a card shop (a very gay one) and they had Liberace greeting cards. I must have laboured over my choice for Stephanie's birthday for about 5-7 minutes when I finally settled on one. This was December and her birthday wasn't until February, so I was going be holding it for a while. A couple of weeks later, I flew up to Seattle to visit with Steph and the family. At one point, the two of us were sprawled out on the bed, flipping through a Liberace book (as you do). I couldn't believe my ears and eyes when she stopped on one page and gasped with delight and paused to take it in. She found it more thrilling than any other picture in the whole book. It was the same picture from the card I had chosen. Soul mates.
 This is the same picture, but the card I sent said something like "Wear something each day that scares you."
Not long after this, I was in a shop called Wacko and picked out a gay post card to slip in with a package to her. I forgot about it, so I lay around in a pile, and then one day, I received a gay postcard in the mail! It was another card in the same series as the one I had bought. I didn't tell her I'd received it, but just replied with the postcard I had waiting.
  She sent me 'That Gay Way', I sent her 'Queer Beach'. Friends for life.
I'm not going to pretend I love everything gay. I don't like really over the top flamboyancy. It's just too much for me, but also I don't like excessive valley girl, hick or hipster either. I watched a gay sketch comedy show the other day which I didn't like, but then I remembered I tend not to like sketch comedy anyway and it that this show wasn't crippled by the gayness but probably helped by it. I tend not to like gay music. I'm not saying they all have bad musical taste, but the popular dancey stuff really, really depresses me. My upstairs neighbour sure likes to blast some of the most monotonous and horrendous dance shit I've ever heard but it sure makes him one happy gay. The only person I will forgive for this is Richard Simmons because he is the most awesome gay man who ever lived and I am always having the best time while he plays those horrible dance remixes of good songs at his classes. I love when he screams orgasmicly, though my response is more titter than orgasmic. The gay men singing show tunes is some redemption on the musical front, even if they sing them super gay.
I hate homophobes, I can tell you that. Fuck those people. Do you know what kills me about them? How obsessed with anal sex they are. Like, if you introduce a couple "Nancy, this is Jimmy and Amanda", I don't supposed Nancy immediately imagines her new acquaintances in coitus. But if these miserable people get a whiff of an Adam and Steve, they are "disgusted". What is to be disgusted about unless they are instantly thinking in graphic detail about some serious butt-fucking? If God finds this act such an abomination then I think he dropped the ball on his little creation. I swear to you, if I was a creator, I would go to great lengths to ensure wet bread never happens. THAT'S an abomination in the eyes of Simone.
 God might hate fags, but this bitch in the middle loves to think about packin' fudge.
Ugh, I've run out of things to say and the last thing I talked about were those asshole homophobes so I'll end on something positive. A gay couple I know are having a baby with a surrogate and I am so excited about it. I only know one half of the couple, but he's awesome and so must be his boyfriend. They are expecting twin girls. I also know a someone who got knocked up by accident and wasn't immediately sure who the father was, is not with the father and is now raising the baby by herself which is dangerous considering she is insane. Talk about misplaced priorities when people will come after a gay couple for having kids and not a psycho hose beast. Those girls to the gay couple are going to have a great family waiting for them.
So I guess this has been a salute to all things gay and how much I enjoy them. Bottoms up!
OH MY STARS! I nearly forgot to include the best thing! Here's one of my favourite articles ever in The Onion. Click here to read the whole thing. Hopefully the image below will leave you wanting more.
2:10 AM
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