APOLOGIES AND OREO COOKIES
Current mood: tested
Category: Writing and Poetry
Apologies and Oreo CookiesHe said he's sorryI giggled as if I actually believedyet there was something in his eyesthat whispered to meI could see he grieved when he told mehe lost the only ONE...Apologies and Oreo Cookiestaste good with kissesswirled on my tongueI must admitI wasn't having any funbeing madbeing sadhe can't take backwhat he's donebut with two simple wordsrestitution has begunhe expressed his regret with blooms that filled the roomand masked the scentof the torment that lingeredhe managed to hidethe pointed fingereager to proveand remove any memoryof the aforementioned actionseven if I hated himthere was still ........................The Attractionand maybe I was overreactingacting out of emotionre-examining the notionhe took the standanswered my questions Andplead guilty on all countsof heartachesaid he never meant to makemy heartbreakand would take whatever punishment he deservedpromised to kiss all the places that hurtand even if I heardthis all beforethere is some part of me that won't close the door forI still loved him.
written by,tina divina Today I was at a loss for ideas, I sent out a lil moodliner for someone to be my muse and give me something to write about....thank you Michelle....this subject hits kinda home for me.
We do not forgive if we constantly convict a person of the same wrongdoing even when their not doing. It's all or nothing, either you forgive........ or you don't. Forgiveness is often times something that we don't even do for ourselves, for our own actions, our own mistakes, most of us living with some form of regret. Not realizing the growth. God doesn't put us through anything that we can't handle and there is definitely a lesson to be learned. And if you find yourself in the same situation, it means you didn't learn the first time. It is perhaps one of the hardest commandments God gave us. I am not a minister or even a philosopher, these are just my opinions. I personally can think of a rare few that I may have a hard time forgiving. I may find myself at the Pearly Gates trying to explain that one. *Mental Note...gonna have to work on that *....
Holla at me,TD
***For live poetry once a week, listen to me on Sirius 106, The Claudia Jordan Show and Friends presents The Single Life, every monday 7pm PST ***
she told me she loves me t-h-i-s m-u-c-h and she stretched her arms so wide fireworks go off inside she makes me smile makes me feel like i'm the child seeing the world through her eyes every day offering yet another surprise she stands 48 inches yet reaches my heart she's every miniscule part of me from my oval eyes to my flinstone feet she's my mini me but her personality outshines my light she is the north star so bright she is my sunlight and without her i couldnt see she is my sanity with her shirley temple curls and everything that makes up a girl from her priss and her primp to her kool aid grin to her love of pink i may be biased but i think God created her perfectly she smells like cotton candy sugary kisses like gumdrops she makes my heart stop and go and although she is only 5 she teaches me what it means to be alive never knowing if i'm doing this exactly right i look for reassurance in her eyes and when she smiles she lights the darkest corners she makes everything in my life warmer she is my shadow and my muse the reason I choose to not sweat the small stuff getting by is never enough for her i'm making miracles and beating impossibles everything is probable love makes it causable but only she makes it plausible she upgraded my values and my morals me is now plural and together we can take on the world just me and my lil girl she gave me the reasons to why and the answers to the questions she was the lesson and taught me how to love better and think clearer opened my eyes to the bigger picture and when she is away to play I miss her she reminds me that I am worthy that I am loved and there is nothing above the love of my child. written by tina divina
.....because my daughter said "where 's the poem for me mommy?" lol....awwwwwww..I love her!! ODE TO YOU BABY!!
Gossip tainted their lips And stained their aura A bouquet of hate Infected by A plaque of Hearsay I caught a whiff of it the other day Brushed off my dismay People will say what they want to say I Played it off For it seemed absurd Brushed my shoulders Of the dirt Pretended I didn't hear What I heard It was all so simple at first Til it began to hurt Not sure which is worst The lie itself or The fact that it came from her I trusted her The enemy in sheeps clothing And she fed me to the wolves Twisted my words Made me the fool Just to make herself look cool While the scavengers drooled And tooled their lies so deep She made a mockery of me Makes you want to sleep And hide Disguise yourself Invulnerable To their words that bite And kick you blindside She tried to bring me down Tired of my smile She longed for my frown Until it all turns around And the victim becomes the avenger And success is the real clencher And if I forgot to mention her She was the hater that made me famous!
written by, tina divina
This was the poem I recited on this weeks show, topic was"Rumors". Because you don't have to be a celebrity to become a victim of it, haters come in all shapes and sizes, some are closer to us than we think.
"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" -Sun Tzu
Free link to last nights show with special guest B. Scott!!!:
When it Hurts So Bad.......
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Writing and Poetry
When it Hurts So Bad... Why Do I Write So Good??
I wear my
heart on my sleeve
and my
emotions around my neck
like a noose
I can't breathe
please cut me loose
I feel used
from loving you
I never knew
you could hurt me this way
frayed and fallen
prayed and calling
on him above
to make it go away
I cant cry no more
instead I stay
stuck
with this paper and pen
losing myself
and blending in
to the words you see
a lil heartbreak poetry
to comfort me
and I question my ability
to get over him
and I question my ability
to trust again
somehow this is the best of me
and anything less of me
is art imitating life
my heartache becomes my light
and I see all the things
you never were
and everything
that was once beautiful
becomes a blur
and the corners of my
insides hurt
my stomach is tied
in knots and twists
sick with this
feeling
dealing with the reality
that the fantasy
was just that
and you and I
were just an act
in this complicated
play of life
written by
tina divina
A LIL PLUG: I am being featured in Urban Ink Magazine, release date August 12th, though Barnes N Noble is selling them now!! GO GO GOOOO GET YOUR COPY!! =}
Betrayed Blinded by your liescaught up in the imageof you and Ibelieving the disguisefalsified my trustleaving me unjustjudgedand scrutinizedhypnotized in sublimeSTUPIDITYI told you sois fucking wit meIm wiser than moststill I let you get to meand I ask myselfhow did this happento me againclaiming the victimblaming himwhen my intuition was chiming inand I was too damn stubbornto listenfighting my inner realmwanting to believe in himand now it endsand now I never want to see you againand nowI never want to speak to you againMy friend...You Betrayed Me.
written by,tina divina
Betrayal:
be·tray·al, noun
1. to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling.
2. to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to.
3. to deceive, misguide, or corrupt.
4. to seduce and desert.
......Feels like a 10 foot truck that you didnt see coming, only there is no blood, and the wounds are internal.
TD
*I could post my disclaimer, but awww f*ck it, I'm human! *
5 Hours... It's been 5 hourssince you left my domainI'm still wet from your reignlimp from the painstill lickin my lips and callin your namestill runnin my fingers through your maneaddicted like cocainestill pumpin lust through my veinsIts been 5 hourssince I cameand since you leftI haven't sleptyour deft handskeep mekept.....and stillI can still feelthe whispersof your breathrunnin across my toesmy anklesmy calvesmy kneesmy buttocksmy thighsand the creases in betweenand the places that cannot be seenyou licked cleanand stained your scentlike pomegranate juiceon white linenlets's rewind back to the beginninI want youback up in itmy legs are still tremblinmentally fumblingsavorin every minuteI cant stand the minutesthat you 're goneits been 5 hours way too longI'm not strongcome back home.
5 Hours. written by,tina divina You know when you don't want the moments to end, when you wish you could stop time...you want to revel in that natural high for as long as you possibly can.... yeahhhhhhh that feeling is what I'm talking about! Holla at me,~TD
if you haven't done so yet add
"The Single Life"
I'm on a hot new radio show on Sirius 106. It's real women, real talk about love, sex, and relationships.....Go to the Myspace page for weekly free links to catch the shows you missed....
Lately you've been
in another place
another space
no matter how many
roads I take
I just can't seem to get
where you are
you've been
holding up your guards
I know it's hard
but baby you've got to
talk to me
I may not always
want to hear it
I may not always
like what you have to say
but please
tell me anyway
silence is a luxury
we can't afford
to take
when feelings
are at stake
when I see it in your face
let's not make
decisions in haste
talk to me
whisper to me
confide in me
don't hide from me
sing to me
even if you can't
chant soliloquys
of your feelings
of the things your thinking
and think you can not say
Please
tell me anyway
even if you think
I've already heard
engage soft words
caress my ears
with cashmere
speak so clear
that I can hear
your gulps
your breaths
between syllables
be sensible
but not too sensitive
I'd rather you be
unadulterated
permeate it
through my skin
dig in deep
until I understand
I don't want to guess
or think secondhand
and I'll be damned
if you can't
Talk to me
address me
express to me
verses that may hurt
converse
start by uttering words
and let them fall where they may
say what you gotta say
communication is key
to the roads ahead
they say a closed mouth
doesn't get fed
so let me feed you
my attention
Im eagerly waiting
just to listen
if you have to
I don't mind if you
yell and scream
let me know
you mean it
speak your speech
preach what you believe
its just you and me
and all the time you need
talk to me....
written by,
tina divina
I know, I know.....it's been weeks since I've blogged, shame on me!! But I'm back and I wanted to bring up probably the most important part of any relationship....and that is COMMUNICATION. Since working on the radio show with Claudia and all the girls and listening to callers comments and problems, it seems every situation falls right back to the very simple idea of communication and the lack of real honesty. I think most of us need to start by being honest with ourselves before we take the "representative" of ourselves into relationships that are doomed to fail by taking this approach.
So....communicate, communicate, communicate!! No one is perfect, and as humans it is impossible to be honest 100% of the time, we have fears of rejection and fears of hurting another, but if we can aim to be honest 90% of the time, I think our relationships would be healthier.
What do you think....
Holla at me,
~TD
(P.S. For the record , for those of you that send me your tokens of love because you think every week a chick is over here going through all of the things that I speak on…LOL!!! I'm not, if that were the case, I'd be in love with a Badboy that I met on MySpace, that is cheating on me with my male best friend, that is married to a woman, that has bad breath, that wants to have a threesome with his wife and his male lover….HAHAHAHA!! That could be a funny story, but no, I just so happen to have a very vivid and creative imagination….and I am just a woman trying to give you something to talk about!)
if you haven't done so yet add
"The Single Life"
I'm on a hot new radio show on Sirius 106. It's real women, real talk about love, sex, and relationships.....Go to the Myspace page for weekly free links to catch the shows you missed....
THE SECRET DIARY OF A PUMA
Current mood: blessed
Category: Writing and Poetry
The Secret Diary of a Puma
I'm a Puma A Cougar in training reigning lead in the female species confident that he wants me sleek and tawny carefully teasing with the curves of my body preying on my next victim prepping my secret weapon to kill him softly he can't resist the lure of my eyes the wetness of my lips the way I conjugate my words and I articulate my hips He winces as I formulate my sentence and leave him transfixed He is caught at my attention but I diss him give him just enough to make him want more mesmerize his moves as I walk across the floor I toy with him like a Wii grab his gadget just to hear him plea press all the right buttons he becomes a glutton in need sine qua non is what he calls me and I called him when I want it taunted him fronted like I cared dared him to leave knew that I had the upperhand them young girls don't understand the power of the P and then he started staying around just a little bit longer feelings easing in just a little bit stronger I talk a good game you see but before I knew it I was wondering where he was when he wasn't with me missed him because I was gettin used to the D who am I foolin lying to myself Puma's have a heart I don't want no body else Lost all player points I relinquished control and fell in love with a 22 year old
written by tina divina
(and this weeks new word is..LOL!)
si·ne qua nonˈsaɪni kweɪ ˈnɒn, kwɑ, ˈsɪneɪ; Lat.ˈsɪnɛ kwɑˈnoʊn/
an indispensable condition, element, or factor; something essential: Her presence was the sine qua non of every social event.
This is the poem I read on this week's "The Single Life with Claudia Jordan and Friends".. We had special comedian guest TK Kirkland and he was Hilarious!! Here is a free link to listen:
Where I'm usually quite wordy... suddenly I stumble mumbling adjectives that just aren't right seems the words can't describe all the comfort, and love I feel inside she is my Security Blanket my Idol my Number 1 Fan my Support System my Friend the Reason I won't settle for just any man She is my Madre my Matka .....mi Mama my Mother with her future in one hand and me in the other she made a way for us together she made the tolls of being a single parent a pleasure guarded me like a treasure she's my She-roe with an L on her chest for Love she put nothing above me showed me security my Mahogany Mommy quite similar to a 70's black movie her beauty exudes me she is multi-dimensional never feeds me fictional tales but always tells me the truth I am a mere reflection of her in her youth she told me "You.... .......are the reason I strive" yet ironically she is the reason I am even alive I take pride in calling her "Mommy"
I remember when she showed up at my school to my surprise giving me the white tissue makeup test on my eyes I tried to lie but she promised if I reserved my face she'd take me to Macy's and buy me the "good stuff" I remember the time I called her bluff and she punked me dunking me in my school clothes in the tub we had water fights IN the house just because she was never afraid to have fun we'd watch Pretty Woman late night in reruns told any man that came into her life that I was number 1 on Saturday mornings she'd be singing Minnie Ripperton as she cleaned or whatever song voiced what she was feeling whether in love or in heartbreak... those fools would make her heart ache I just wanted to put a smile on her face I Remember she'd speed in her Chevrolet just to hear me say "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" as we flew down a hill she always knows just how I feel the perfect remedy when I'm ill it's a seat that can't be filled by any other it would be me, her, and my grandmother they thought she was my sister and even though she don't always show it I know that she misses her her eyes would cry even when there were no tears she'd hide fears but I see them clear everytime I look in my daughter's face she taught me which roads not to take and supported me with every choice I made she moved me groomed me from a babygirl to 12th grade to a young lady to the woman you see today and I thank you so much Mommy!!
written by, tina divina
Pretty self explanatory....this is about MY MOMMA!!! LOL!! For her I am so thankful!!....
Hurry Up and.........WAIT!!!
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Writing and Poetry
Hurry Up and........WAIT!
All of our lives
we've been taught
to wait
that good things come
to those
who.......
WAIT...
wait til nightfall
wait til morning rises
wait for the reveal
beneath the disguises
wait til it warms
wait til it gets cold
wait when your young
wait til you get old
wait for sex
wait for love
wait til he steps down
from the heavens above
wait til they see me
wait for a sign
wait for the pain to go away
wait for time
wait for the rain to stop
wait for the right opportunity
wait for the ball to drop
wait in continuity
wait for a raise
wait to heal
wait til it pays off
wait til you feel it
wait til its over
wait for it to begin
wait til it comes out
wait til it ends
wait for Christmas
wait for summer
wait til you just can't wait any longer
and the hunger
grows stronger
and we wait for change
and then oneday we wake
and nothing is the same
and our dreams touch reality
and our "what if's" come to end
and the waiting is finally over
and the Revolution begins.
And we begin again....
written by,
tina divina
Well the wait is over and Barack is here and I am PROUD to be an AFRICAN AMERICAN on this 3rd of June, 2008.....No more wait, we have a chance to make a difference, stand up and hold hands, unite, fight, and make plans. TO VOTE!! November 4th Election 2008 here We COME!!
Holla at me,
~TD
P.S...I was soooooo feeling this tonight!!!
Repetitive Plug....If you didn't know, I'm on a radio show "The Claudia Jordan Show and Friends present THE SINGLE LIFE" on Sirius 106, every Monday 7pm PST, and Tuesdays 7am PST. Please add our myspace: www.myspace.com/thesinglelifewithcj
Tiny discrepanciesor imperfectionswhether clandestineor overtthey anoint us diverseor otherwise perfectly UNIQUEmapping our originalityHe loves meand all of my idiosyncrasieseven down to my ugly feetthe fact that I never shut upbut I know when NOT to speakthe way my accent falls somewhere betweenA Jewish-New-Yorkerand a valley girl from the beachHe knows that I laugh when I'm nervousthat I am impervious to ticklesStill he trickles his fingers to that one placethe way I say "that's funny" completely straight facedthe parts of my body that I hatethe scar on my neck from the 4th gradethe fact that I sway when we hugmy childish panic with bugsthe crooked way I talkthe way I walk so confidentyet am ridiculously clumsythat I still call my mother "Mommy"the birthmark on my inner thighthat is slightly lighter than Ithat while the life of the partyI still get shythe fact that I've proudly masteredpicking up items with my toesthat I'm anti-rosesbut am all for flowers that are wildthat I embrace my inner childso much that if I didn't have a daughterI'd still watch cartoonsthat I am in awe of a full moonand fear there maybe Werewolvesor other things that lurk in the gloomlightning makes me quiverand Sci-fi just may be realI have a lack of tactwhen it comes to how I feelBut he knows the dealand still he loves meand all of myAnomalies
written bytina divina
Ok, so I've listed at least 10 of my imperfections that make me perfect and I embrace them....they are what make me "ME"....its your turn, do share.
Holla at Me,
~TD
if you haven't done so yet add
"The Single Life"
I'm on a hot new radio show on Sirius 106. It's real women, real talk about love, sex, and relationships.....Go to the Myspace page for weekly free links to catch the shows you missed....
I am writing gigglingsmilingand thinking of youfalling intoa realm of fictioncontradicting my convictions He loves me He loves me not He loves me? I fought it and losta prisoner to my thoughtscaught up and amazedcounting the daysuntil I see your faceI crave your anatomy all over mecrazed with hungerthat lurks inside of melonging for your itchfeeling listlessrestless with thirstI burst
tested
loved
disappointed
pensive
anxious
busy
, for those of you that send me your tokens of love because you think every week a chick is over here going through all of the things that I speak on
…LOL!!! I'm not, if that were the case, I'd be in love with a Badboy that I met on MySpace, that is cheating on me with my male best friend, that is married to a woman, that has bad breath, that wants to have a threesome with his wife and his male lover….HAHAHAHA!! That could be a funny story, but no, I just so happen to have a very vivid and creative imagination….and I am just a woman trying to give you something to talk about!
)
blessed
ni kweɪ ˈnɒn, 
optimistic
fabulous