It's all about me
Current mood: blah
Category: Life

So i'm a 20 year old single mom. Well technically i'm not single but by boyfriend isn't the father of my children. He is however to them their daddy. They love the hell outta him, so do i... I'm a full time student, a full time mom, and a full time "house wife" and i love every minute of it. I'm a very blunt person. I say what i want and dont really care that anyone thinks. I live my life to the fullest and have no regrets. I dont hold grudges; that's the point really. I love my friends they're the best. I can be your best ephemens your worst enemy that depends on you. I'm a bitch and i'm not ashamed of it. My boyfriend is 18 years older than me and i'm not ashamed to admit that either. If you think we shouldn't be together kiss my ass. It's not your business. Age doesn't mean anything to me. What it comes down to is that i am who i am and i'm not going to change to please anyone. If you dont like me for who i am then you dont have to be around me.

1:32 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

So what do you purpose I do about that

Okay so what's up with guys posting bulletins saying they want some pussy? I mean how could i possibly help them? That's just stupid... What ever happened to actually going out and looking for that kinda thing? You can always in to a club and get a chick that may have had a few too many drinks. Get a life.. I personally foot think the enteret is for finding lovers. I guess i'm weird huh....

9:23 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

My life, my kids, my love
Category: Life

I've never been so happy as the day my kids were born. I've also never been as sacred as I was that day... It's the worst feeling in the world to hear a doctor tell you that you cant even hold your children because they have to be immediatly transported to a different hospital due to complications with their lungs. Thank god that everythings better now. My babies weren't going to give up without a fight and boy let me tell you they are fighters. Every day they do something new that just amazes me. They are so smart. My son(Gavyn) is already starting to swim at 13 months old. My daughter(kynzli) can un hook almost anything. They both know how to drink out of cups, bottles, and straws. And boy do they know how to walk. I cant keep up with both of them- they always in seperate ways. They have a bond that i know noone will ever be able to break. They love to play with each other and they wont sleep unless their in the same room. I love my kids so much. I dont know what i would do without them.

8:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Random thoughts...
Current mood: loved

I spend so much time thinking about stupid things. I'm up half the night at least once a week... It's so funny how i got to this point in my life, honestly two years ago at this time i was breaking up with John and it was a horrible break up. That along with a few to many alcoholic beverages made me think that Clint was a great guy but truthfully the only great thing about our relationship was that we made 2 beautiful children. The same 2 children that John takes care of and love and he treats them as if they were his children. I'm one of the lucky ones. We may have had that time apart but I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with my first love, at least i hope i will. I love my life. I love my kids, i love my boyfriend and things are great.....late

10:11 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Pain
Current mood: irritated
Category: Life

I've been up all stinkin night... I think i slept for maybe 2 hours. It sucks. I have a infection in 2 of my teeth and one is my wisdom tooth and it hasn't came in yet so i have to in to a oral surgeon to get it fixed and the antibiotic they have me the first time didn't work my whole mouth is swollen. They gave me a new silk i hope it works because i cant get a appointment for 2 weeks. And my kids in straight for my face everytime i pick them up. I swear giving birth didn't hurt as much as my mouth does right now. And nothing works. It's 5 in the morning and i've gotta get up to take care of the kids so i'm gonna try to lay down.....late

2:12 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You really expect to be called daddy?!?
Current mood: disappointed
Category: Life

First off i never would've filed for child support but after 6 months without any help from you what do you expect me to do? And you have the nerve to file for paternity test my son is the spitting image of you. By the way those test came back and I think that 99.999% means trav you fathered my children but lets get this one thing straight that does not mean you are entitled to be called daddy. Do you even know anything about your kids ANY OF THEM??? BY THE WAY TELL THAT WHORE you call a girl friend that the health department will give her free condoms. I wish some one would've told me that. I love my kids and i think the only thing you've ever accomplished in your life is the 5 kids you've made. The 5 kids you know nothing about. So really you expect to be called daddy. Their daddy is the man who lover them, who takes care of them, who watched them walk and held their hand the entire time. Your not that man and you never will be so stop trying to play daddy because that isn't something you can play.

8:55 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Kynzli and Gavyn
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Life

I had my babies tuesday May 29th, 2007 if you havent read my profile since I changed it. Anyway they get to come home from the hospital today and I'm so happy.I love them so much.... And I've been at the hospital with them for at least 12 hours everyday I'm just ready to be able to hold them with out all the cords hooked up to them. Plus I cant wait to get them home to their daddy who is so happy. For some reason I love him even more now than I did before I had the kids. Oh yea my babies names are Kynzli Aayliah Jade and Gavyn James>>> She weights 4 lbs 2 oz and he is 4 lbs 9.8 oz. They are so freakin small and I love it. Gavyn looks just like his daddy and I swear the first time somebody tells me my kids look just like Carrie's I might just have to beat their ass like I did Carrie If only I were lieing!!!!!!!! Well I'm going to get my kids from the hospital................late

<3 Tiffany

2:18 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

100 things about me
Category: Blogging

1. I copied this from Lynzie
2. She's my bestest friend in the whole world
3. I love her to death
4. I finally moved back to Cordele
5. I live with my momma
6. I'm not single anymore
7. I have the greatest boyfriend in the world
8. His names Clint
9. I love him to death too
10. My favorite  color is pink
11. I cant spell worth a shit
12. I have a dog named Angel
13. She's the cutest thing in the world
14. I miss Lynzie and Rayvn so freakin much
15. I love skateboarding
16. And everything to do with it
17. I know how to do it
18. But I bust my ass every time i get on a board.
19. I love to shop
20. When I'm spending other peoples money
21. I dont have a job
22. So I never have money
23. My boyfriend does though
24. And he sooooooooo spoils me
25. I hate preps
26. And people that think their better than every body else.
27. I can be a bitch
28. But dont piss me off
29. And you'll never see that side of me
30. I love cold coffee
31. U know the kind they sell in stores
32. I cant spell it
33. I told u I suck at spelling
34. I love my body
35. I'm not fat just thick
36. And I love it
37. I love to hump
38. I never say fuck
39. Or have sex anymore
40. Its humping now
41. And thats so Lynzie's faught
42. Everything is
43. But I still love her
44. I hate my little brother
45. He's such a little prick
46. Lynzie wants to hump him though
47. So I have to tolerate him
48. I used to live in Bainbridge
49. I met soome cool ass ppl
50. But that was the worst 2 1/2 years of my life
51. I still care about John
52. But he was
53. And still is a ASS HOLE
54. I suck at this shit
55. And I have to pick Clint up in 10 minutes
56. I miss him
57. When he's at work
58. It sucks so bad
59 I'm gona stop here today I'll finish in the morning
60.So 2 months later and I finally get around to this.
61. I'm having a baby
62. And I so hope its a girl
63. I'm so ready for it to be July
64. I miss Lynzie
65. She doesnt talk to me anymore
66. And it makes me feel like shit
67. I'm starting to miss Bainbridge
68. I never got this bored there
69. Dont tell Clint that though
70. I did get a job
71. I dont have it anymore thought
72. I hated it anyway
73. I'm so tired of Cordele
74. I want to kill Clints ex wife
75. That stupid bitch sure as hell knows how to drive me crazy
76. Better than anybody else
77. I hate gossip
78. And I'm tired of shit being said about me
79. Just for future referance
80. If you dont llike me FUCK YOU
81. I told you I cant spell
82. I'm really not that interesting you see
83. I'm almost done
84. Thank god
85. i used to say
86. I dont love anything but money, my self and my cell phone
87. Then I grew up and realized I was lieing to myself
88. I'm still a selfish bitch though
89. Dont get me wrong
90. I know I'll probally never change
91. But who cares
92. I
93. have
94. to
95 go.
96. Only 4 more to go.
97. I know this was boring.
98. But you still love me
99. And now I'm
100. DONE

1:52 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

wHaT ThE fUcK
Category: Blogging

Okay so like 50% of the blogs I've read in the last week are political and shit that I'm just not going to read. I'm to fucking goofy for all that shit and if it doesnt make me laugh then I wont read it plus I dont have time any way but I gotta go..............late

<3 Tiffani

12:13 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Its not even like that this time
Category: Blogging

So now I see why I stay with John. Its easier to get hurt by him. I tryed to move on and I didnt even do anything like that and I already got hurt. It sucks and I hate everybody right now. I talked to John a little while ago and he told me he loved me an dwe talked for a while and I miss him so much. He even told Shannon to give me the key to his house so that I could stay down there because I cant stay here. I mean everybodys always drunk and I cant stand it. I even tried getting drunk today to see if it would make things better but it only made them worse. I dont get like these retards when I get drunk I know exactlly what I'm doing and I dont act stupid. I mean I dont believe a word of what Brandon said about Tonya raping him. I mean hes fucking her right now as we speak and I'm pretty sure he knowa what hes doing. I cant believe that shit. Brandon shouldnt drink anymore. If he's going to do shit like this he really shouldn't. I mean I dont have a problem with him fucking her but I;m gone have to listen to his bullshit all day tomorrow. I dont have the time for it.  And I refuse to feel sorry for him ever again. I mean after all that bullshit he talked about her and he's fucking her again. I dont know why I even care but I'll get pulled into it some how.................late

<3 Tiffani

4:22 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

So what if you hate me
Current mood: guilty
Category: Blogging

It really wont make my life any different at all. You dont like me because I'm not like you. I dont wnat to be that person, I like myself for who I am. I know I'm not skinny and you may think I'm ugly but I have convidence and I know I'm beautiful. Sure I'm not the prettiest girl in the world but you will never convince me that I'm ugly. No matter how much you put me down and call me names I will still love myself. Late at night I may think about it and cry but I will never let you see that you hurt me, that will only make you believe that you are stronger than me. Dont ever take my love for granted and dont think that I show weakness just because I care. I will never find joy in making others feel worthless the way you do. You injoy making me feel like I am beneath you but I never let you see what that does to me therefore you appear to have no affect on me and one day you will grow tired of the ridicule and hurtful words and you will see that it doesnt make you look cool or even popular when you make others feel pain. Saying those things is worse than stabbing a person, they never forget those words and it hurts far longer than physical pain.

You will see in time that what you are doing is not right and you will change but those that you hurt may never be able to fogive you. I love you and you mean the world to me but the things you say hurt and I cant forget them no matter how hard I try. We all things we dont mean but you say them so much its hard to believe that you dont feel that way. I know I'm not the prettiest or smartest but I love myself and thats all that matters. People who make fun of others and say those hurtful things do it beause they are not happy and they dont love themselves. It seems to me when you say things to me your really talking about yourself. Your misrable and you want me to be the same. You want me and all the others to feel like you do, it hurts you to see us laugh and have fun because you arent happy enough with yourself to do that.

So hate me........................... hate me because I'm happy. Hate me because I love myself. Hate me because I believe in myself and I know I can do whatever I put my mind to. Its okay to hate me, if it makes you feel better about yourself then hate me but dont treat me like I'm worthless. Dont take my love for weakness or my kindness for failure. I will never fail because I have faith in myself and I have faith in you I just wish you could see that. If you cant then hate me..................................

<3 Tiffani

12:03 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Its over and I'm still alive.
Current mood: confused
Category: Life

Well as you can see we're all still here, well I hope we are. I mean unless something happened that I dont know about. Its 12:53am...............SO what the fuck can I say. I just wanna call all those fucking cocksuckers that tryed to convience me that god was coming back today and fucking cuss them out. Haha I'm still here bitch and so are you so what do you have to say now?!?!?! Although I havent heard from John or Brandon but I dont think theres any way in hell they would've made it to heaven and I'd still be stuck here. For christ sake they're alot worse than me. I guess I was freaked the fuck out for nothing at all. Johns probally at some titty bar right now looking at chicks asses and tits. Hope he's having fun. I dont know what to do with him............. I dont know if I should leave and hope he follows or stay and rot away in this peice of shit town. I mean if I leave at least I'll be away from the drugs and drinking. I mean I know thats going to be everywhere but I dont have to be around it. The drug thing isnt that bad but everybody I know drinks and that drives me crazy. Plus I cant get anywhere by staying here making 5.15 a hour, but if I leave I;m gonna miss him like crazy and I'll probally spend every second thinking about him. I do love him but we cant be happy in this town and he hates being here too, he just doesnt want to leave because he has a good job and all that other bullshit. He can find a better job there. I dont know and at this point I dont even care. I mean we got back to that point in our relationship that involves fighting. I know I went off but still it was as much his faught as it was mine. I have a short temper and he fucking threw a beer at me so of course I'm gone turn around and hit him. I didnt mean to hurt him but that fucking beer hurt when it hit me. It was Brandons faught too. He should've told me John was in the other room instead of letting me freakin hug him. John gets jealous and shit and what he doesnt realize is that I never looked at Brandon that way, well not until that night, I dont know what to do............. we talked and he's being nice but he says we cant be together. He says that then he acts totally different. I hate that about him. I know he loves me and I love him but I cant tell you exactlly why I love him. I thought about it alot and I really cant say one reason why I love him. We used to have so much fun together I guess I just keep hoping that if I stay long enough it will be llike that again. Help me please. I need a mans advice.....................late

<3 Tiffani

12:53 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

SIX SIX SIX>>>>fuck that shit sex sex sex
Current mood: scared
Category: Life

OKay so those of you who know me and those of you that I've talked to about this know that I'm freaked the fuck out about today so I decided that instead of stressing myself out all day I'm turnig it into sex day and thats exactlly what I plan on doing all day. I mean I'm already going to hell for fornacating why not at least go out in style right???? Oh fuck there might be a problem with my plan John leaves today(well I can fix that just gotta find my crush) but I have to work today. Oh well I can call in sick right. Well yea I cant sleep and I keep getting messages about 666 and shit and I'm tired of hearing it. GOD if your out there and can read this please dont make me suffer through the whole day if your planning on killing me; will you just go ahead and do it this morning? I think I mught kill myself if I have to listen to this shit all day. I'm probally just over reacting like always and I just need to calm down but everybodys got this shit in my head and now I cant get it out. OMG I just want this to  be over so everybody will stop talking about it. FUCKING COCKSUCKERS   I just wanna stap the stupid ass homos that put that shit in my head. Any way I'ma try to get some sleep................late

<3 Tiffani

12:21 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

What happens when a booty call turns ugly
Current mood: creative
Category: Blogging

So yeah like most of you know I'm big on booty calls for one because you only have to deal with the guy when you want to fuck and two you dont have to worry about all the boyfriend/girlfriend drama; but what happens when things go ugly. I mean see for me personally I know that since I'm a chick and all everyone would probally expect me to be the one to get attached and start having feelings for the other person but thats never the case with me. See I'm too much llike guys when it comes to that shit>>> I cant stand to cuddle, I dont really give a fuck about four play and when its over I just want to smoke a ciggerate and leave or in my case throw his ass out of my house. It never happens like that for me though. So far I've had two booty calls and they've both ended up nightmares so I figured I'd give you girls like me some advice on what to do when your booty call starts acting like your boyfriend.

So first off here are a few signs>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ONE he starts to call you during the day for no reason other than to see what your doing. TWO after fucking he holds you instead of leaving like he should. THREE he starts wanting to stay the night. FOUR the word love starts coming out of his mouth.

And lets see heres what I do STOP ANSWERING HIS CALLS. Unfortunately that never worked for me though. They just decided they would stop by the house. Thats when you have to turn into there worse nightmare and do things you know will piss them off like talking about other guys and shit that you know will turn them off to you completely. My suggestion would be find another booty call. They cant all be llike that some guys have to be normal and just want to fuck. Okay so enough of my bullshit and nonsince.....................late

<3 Tiffani

1:37 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Enough Cryin

Okay so like everynight I'm on yahoo talking to Brandon and this song comes own<> enough by Mary J Blidge and of course I start crying but you should listen to it. I've never heard this song before now but it reminded me so much of my relationship with John and I think that was a sign that I need to move on and it might be for the best that I move to Panama City. I mean if it doesnt work out for me there I can always come back. Unlike Virgina I'm only planning on moving 2 hours away this time so I can always drive up to Bainbridge every other weekend or whatever. It cant hurt me to go but with me staying here isnt going to change anything; at least if I go I might have a chance to do something good. And if John wants to see me it isnt that hard for him to get to me. I guess I'll never know unless I go..........................late

<3 Tiffani

1:59 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment