Hello all! I am going to return to Magooby's Joke House on Thursday, June 26. The club is located in the downstairs of the Bowman restaurant, 9306 Harford Road in Parkville (just off Beltway Exit 31A-B).
There is a $5 cover and a 2-drink minimum. You can either show up and pay at the door or you can call ahead (410) 356-1010 and make a reservation. Either way, tell them you're coming to see Tom Myers, because I need at least 5 people to do 5 minutes of stage time. For each person that uses my name after the required 5 people will earn me an additional minute of stage time up to ten minutes.
At the end of the show, the winner of this contest will receive a paid weekend of work from the club in addition to a cash prize. The winner will be determined by audience applause, hence the need to get as many of you as possible into the club. There, you have it. The ultimate motivator. My own personal greed, as well as the answer to many of you asking me over and over, "When are you going to be performing in the area?"
For more information, visit the Magooby's website.
I received this email twice this morning and someone else posted it as a MySpace blog. I accessed all three of these within five minutes, so I thought I would respond.
This email (or one very similar to it) made the rounds about ten years ago when gas was approaching $1.50 per gallon.
Subject: Gas Back Down to $1.30 Per Gallon Date: Thu, 8 May 2008 15:30:51 +0000
THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' GAS FOR ONE DAY,
BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET GAS BACK DOWN TO $1.30 PER GALLON.
This was sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. If you are tired of the gas prices going up AND they will continue to rise this summer, take time to read this please.
Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. Thi s makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the 'don't buy gas on a certain day' campaign that was going around last April or May! It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!!
I hear we are going to hit close to $ 4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down?
We need to take some intelligent, united action. The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to 'hurt' ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them, BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can Really work. Please read on and join with us!
We need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace...not seller s.
The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves.
How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas.
But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.
Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL.
If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit.
But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil (& CITGO) gas bu yers. It's really simple to do! Now, don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) .. and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!
If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!
Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all!
(If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just aren't a mat hematician. But I am . so trust me on this one.
How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!!
I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference.
If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from EXXON/MOBIL & CITGO UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $2.00 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.
Keep it going
Now, I don't buy from Exxon or Mobil anymore, not necesarilly for this reason above, but because of their poor environmental track record (Exxon-Valdez and the MTBE mishap a mere couple of miles from my home on Route 152 in Fallston). I can't even drive pass an Exxon without my blood pressure skyrocketing.
Personally, I have no qualms about buying gas from Citgo. A couple of winters ago when the prices of home heating oil were so expensive that families had to choose between buying groceries to feed their children or heating their home, many families simply chose to live without heat. Citgo, recognizing this, imported affordable home heating fuel from Venezuela to help the aforementioned burdened families. To me, that is the kind of thing that an oil company is supposed to do and to thank them by not buying their fuel not only makes no sense, but is reprehensible.
However, I cannot force anybody else to buy gas from this particular station and not this particular station. This didn't work all those years ago and it's not going to work now. People's reliance on fuel and the consumption are too great to enact public measures such as gas hoarding, boycotts and efforts such as the one posted in this blog. There are those who live so far out in the suburbs and commute to work in areas not reached by public transportation, that options such as "taking the bus" or "riding the subway" are simply not feasible.
I mean, look at the posting itself! The subject heading suggests one price ($1.30) and the concluding paragraph suggets a higher one ($2.00)!
There is no solution other than to hold oil company executives accountable for the prices they set as well as the bonuses they pay to executives (current and retiring). However, since the oil companies have the decision-makers from Washington, DC in their pockets, I doubt there is going to be any solution other than things bottoming out and another Great Depression takes place. Many people will read this price-lowering email and not do a thing. People being people are not going to wak up and realize what is going on until no one is able to afford anything anymore. Only then, will there be a movement for change.
That being said, I really hope this measure works. We need something to work.
Ice 1, Man Responsible For Protecting Our Country From Terrorists 0
You can imagine how concerned I was for our natrion's security when I found this little gem in detail after reading the scroll bar on MSNBC:
Pentagon Chief Breaks Right Arm
WASHINGTON (AP) — Defense Secretary Robert Gates fractured his right arm in a fall on an icy step at his home in Washington, D.C., and was treated Wednesday at Bethesda Naval Medical Center, the Pentagon said.
He returned to work later Wednesday and the injury was not expected to affect his schedule in the coming weeks, said spokesman Geoff Morrell.
Gates slipped Tuesday night but decided not to be examined until the next morning when he got to the Defense Department, where he underwent a series of X-rays. He was taken to Bethesda in suburban Maryland and returned to the Pentagon later Wednesday.
Gates suffered a fracture of his upper right humerus and has been fitted with a sling, Morrell said.
"Fortunately, it does not appear as though his injury will require surgery," the spokesman added.
Because of the accident, Gates canceled a scheduled appearance Wednesday morning on Capitol Hill where he was to testify on the Pentagon's budget for the new fiscal year beginning Oct. 1.
Forecasters said that as a result of the ice storm that struck the nation's capital, at least a quarter-inch of ice could build up on the roads and sidewalks in the region through Wednesday morning, according to a National Weather Service ice storm warning issued Wednesday morning.
So, the man whose job it is to alert President Bush of attacks on the United States and the country's interests can't even defend himself against frozen water? I mean, my mom recently slipped on the ice and hurt herself, but nothing was broken and she doesn't have the daily task of staving off terrorist attacks.
This Saturday, I'm doing a show in New Jersey. The show may run late, so I thought I was going to spend the night. Because of the fact that I am a comic, I am looking at "budget" hotels in the area.
So, I'm looking at the various hotels in the area of the gig and I notice that all of the "budget" hotels come with reviews ranging from terrible to outright horrific. One of the hotels I looked at was the Econo Lodge in Lakewood, New Jersey.
I kid you not. Here is the review:
Terrible service, room not cleaned adequately, used condom in back of night table, mildew stains on bathroom ceiling. Found previous customers personal items and birth certificate.
A birth certificate???
Hmmm ...
I'm guessing the "used condom" didn't serve its intended purpose.
So, my middle school health teacher was right. I guess abstinence is the way to go. Especially if you're staying at an Econo Lodge in Jersey.
~T
PS - I'm driving home the night of the gig. I can now handle a little road-weary sleep deprivation.
Tomorrow, I will go to the cafeteria at Fallston High School and I will vote in my first Primary election. I could have voted in three others already, but I was registered as a "non-affiliated" voter and therefore, I could not vote in any primary election. This is a significant election, for both political parties, because the closeness of the primary race allows states voting later in the primary process to have their voices heard and have an effect on the parties' nominations for their presidential candidate. Me? I'm kind of excited that I have that opportunity.
This will come as no surprise to the people who know me well, but I am going to be voting in the Democratic primary. There is no real big reason for me doing this. I just agree with the Democrats on more issues than with the Republicans. I am conservative on some issues, but not enough to participate in any straw poll.
I'm even going to be a nice guy and take all of the mystery out of you guessing who I'm going to vote for. I'm supporting Barack Obama. I remember when I first heard him speak at the Democratic National Convention in 2004 and his words, emotions and the way he express himself still resonate with me. Out of all of the candidates running, he represents the best choice to me.
What really irks me is the fact that there are people out there who strongly believe their vote doesn't matter, that the winner of this election has already been determined and that to go out and voice your opinion is absolutely pointless. I believe that to some extent, but I still believe in my right to exercise that voice. Even if my specific voice isn't being called upon when a call for change or a call for the status quo is declared, I know there's someone else out there who shares a similar belief to me and their voice might be heard, so that makes it okay. One of my good friends, another comedian whose name I will not mention, recently told me that he doesn't believe in voting. I ask him, "What about your right to bitch and complain about stuff? Don't you understand that voting in elections is one of maybe two backbones to the expression of ideas and where real change can take effect?" He tells me, "I pay taxes. That should be enough." Guess what? Not even close. What is my convoluted little diatribe trying to tell you? It is this: I encourage everyone to go out and make their voice heard. I mean, think about this. There is so little is required of us as American citizens. Go out and vote every two years, serve on a jury when called and pay taxes so that essential services can be available to those of us who need them. Yes, it can be argued that Maryland is one of the more heavily taxed states, but when you look at certain parts of our infrastructure, you will see that Maryland has it pretty good and that, for the most part, our taxes are put to good use. (If you don't believe me, cross the Pennsylvania state line on US Route 1. Our side of the Mason-Dixon kicks ass on the quality of our part of Route 1 alone).
There's a local comedian/radio show host in the area named Joe Robinson who posted a blog about voting a couple of years ago after he was disappointed about Robert Ehrlich's loss in the 2006 Maryland governor's race. In his blog, he incorrectly cited a surplus that Ehrlich didn't leave in office otherwise our current governor, Martin O'Malley, would not be trying to raise more revenue through taxes to make up for a deficit that Ehrlich was going to leave behind. When you pull an Ehrlich and use your rainy day fund to pay off your debt, the lack of spare cash will lead to more debt owing to being unable to cover your expenses. What people in Maryland forget is that if O'Malley had not stepped in and tried to intervene on behalf of Maryland consumers, our local energy company would be owned by a Florida company. A Florida company charging Florida's more expensive electric rates owing to the lack of a cap in energy prices in Maryland. The removal of a price cap, by the way, is what many staunch conservatives as well as other Democratic critics (some of the same people I notice bitching about O'Malley for not raising the price to an Ehrlich level) wanted because of their objection to governmental regulation of any kind. And what was good ol' Bob preparing to do about a takeover of a Maryland company by an out-of-state company? Sit back and let this all happen. However, that is just what I notice. The real point I'm trying to make is that is my right to write what I just wrote just as it was this radio show host's right to be unhappy with the majority of Maryland for voting for O'Malley.
In this same blog, Joe expresses his anger over Ehrlich's loss in the following manner, "I hate you people. Every two years people are encouraged to get out and vote. I'm here to tell you, 'Please don't'." This brings to mind something Thomas Jefferson once said. I'm paraphrasing here, but he said that if there is a general sense of uncertainty in the way people express themselves, the thing to do is simply not take the right of expression away from the American people, but educate them so that they are able to make informed choices. In other words, we still may not be able to agree with other people's beliefs, but we know that they believe what they believe for the right reasons. What I find scary is that similar sentiments like Joe's (although not that bit specifically) are followed by claims that the person saying them is a "patriot." This is not true. Sentiments like Joe's are made by elitists, not patriots. I consider myself a true patriot in that I can accept other people's opinions and I am willing to debate them without telling them that they are full of shit. Remember, if people have the right to express themselves and know how to use it so they don't come off as an elitist, then a healthy exchange of ideas can begin to take place and we become a better society of people. I use my political insights and the ability to bring about a better society to support Barack Obama. If I was a pop culture junkie, I would have switched my party affiliation to Republican and used my love of the "Law & Order" franchise to cast a vote for Fred Thompson. You see the difference here?
Simply put, go out and make your voices heard. Do I want my particular candidate to win? Yes. Am I, like my elitist comedian "friend," going to tell you not to vote just because I don't agree with who you're going to vote for? No. For those who want to join me in voting for Barack Obama, let's go! For those who are going to vote for Hillary Clinton because they've been scared by the deaths of Vince Foster and other cases of "Arkancide," I welcome your voice. Are you going to vote for John McCain because of the strength of his convictions, his war hero status and his ability to work with both sides of the political fence? Have at it! It's your right. Are you going to go cast your vote for Mike Huckabee because you like the sound of his name or he is a staunch conservative whose only recognizable campaign promise to eliminate the IRS and raise the sales tax to 30 or so percent would deprive me of the pleasure of receiving a tax refund check every year and make me unable to afford the basic necessities I need to survive? Go ahead and vote for him. I'll even drive you to your polling place if you need a lift. Do you want to vote for Ron Paul because it seems like a cool counter-culture thing to do without being branded a liberal? Have fun!
The point I'm trying to make is: go out and vote. Expressing our ideas is what makes this country such a fun place to live.
A video excerpting the comics from Pete's Candy Store on January 14 is on YouTube now! You can catch my 53-second clip at the 4:30 mark, just after the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome joke. What an opener, eh?
I’m doing another showcase at Magooby’s on the 31st!
Hello all! I am going to be doing another show locally! On Thursday, January 31st, I will be performing in a contest at Magooby's Joke House (formerly Tracy's Comedy Club) located in the downstairs of the Bowman restaurant, 9306 Harford Road in Parkville (just off Beltway Exit 31A-B).
There is a $5 cover and a 2-drink minimum. You can either show up and pay at the door or you can call ahead (410) 356-1010 and make a reservation. Either way, tell them you're coming to see Tom Myers, because I need at least 5 people to do 5 minutes of stage time. For each person that uses my name after the required 5 people will earn me an additional minute of stage time up to ten minutes.
At the end of the show, the winner of this contest will receive a paid weekend of work from the club in addition to a cash prize. The winner will be determined by audience applause, hence the need to get as many of you as possible into the club. There, you have it. The ultimate motivator. My own personal greed, as well as the answer to many of you asking me over and over, "When are you going to be performing in the area?"
I look forward to seeing many of you on the 31st!
For more information, visit the Magooby's website at www.magoobys.com.
