leave me here to love.

Complications, more so I can say
Promises and deadlines make it hard to stay away.
All these strings are attaching to me,
And I cant find the scissors.
Yeah
All I tell them Im back and Im not.
I cant remember where I was, I forgot.
Knitting it all, these holes that I need,
To crawl through a brick wall,
Is hard to say the least.

Wheres that thought, that thought uncomplicated things?
Wheres that peace of mind, that peace that made it easy? Wheres that simple day, that simply made it nice to be in.
Where did it go? where did it go? where did it go?
Yeah.

I got you a murky light, tell me what can you see?
A huge cloud of shit, hanging over me.
Can you blow it all somewhere else?
Its making it hell to distinguish myself.
Tired of the tyrants who only think theyre all business.
Pissed with their patience, they constantly agree.
yes sir, yes sir, three hundred bags full.
Its easier to say yes than to say no to a fool.

Cover me in cyanide
Cover me in ink
Cover me in formaldehyde
And leave me here to think.
Cover me in carpet
Cover me in tile.
Cover me and evict me and put me in a file.

Strip me bare, dont let me breathe.
Strip me to my skin.
Strip me so you can watch me clean off,
All these things Ive been.
Strip me naked of these walls
Strip me of all my rules
Strip me boy and see how small I am without you.

Inseminate the good now
Inseminate the pure
Inseminate all the shit that Ive forgotten how to whore.
Inseminate the natural
Inseminate the dirt
Inseminate the ineffectual
And leave me here to love.

Leave me here to love

8:11 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

LOVE IS WATCHING ME DIE
Current mood: intimidated

As i nervously place each step with accurate direction,
I recite the perfect lines of pure desire
And as you get closer I pray in hopes our eyes will meet,
and perhaps this time you will notice me

But you are unaware of any possibilitys I'd be hoping
And you will march on by,
as if I couldn't be more non-existent

I will see you twice, maybe three times more
I'll watch your every move,
and study your hands' every line and curve
And maybe if got the courage to grasp it
they'd fit perfectly together

and I would never let go.

4:40 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

perfect sonnet
Category: Writing and Poetry

Lately I've been wishing I had one desire,
Something that would make me never want another,
Something that would make it so that nothing matters,
All would be clear then

But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments,
And watch it all dissolve into a single second,
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet,
Or one foolish line

'Cause that's all that you'll get,
So you'll have to accept,
You are here ,
Then you're gone

I believe that lovers should be tied together,
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather,
Left there to drown,
Left there to drown in their innocence

But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter,
I've read all of the pages and there's still no answer,
The only words before I know will soon come after,
It's the only way it can be.

So I stand in the sun,
And I breathe with my lungs,
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth,

Seeing everything you've ever seen was just a mirror,
Spend your whole life sweating in an endless fever,
Laying in a bathtub full of freezing water,
Wishing you were a ghost

But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover,
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summers
But autumn came,
She disappeared,
You can't remember
Where she said she was going to

But you know that she's gone,
Because she left you a song,
That you don't wanna sing

Singing: I believe that lovers should be chained together,
Thrown into a fire with their songs and letters,
And left there to burn,
Left there to burn in their arrogance

But as for me I'm coming to my final failure,
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better,
But still ended up becoming something other,
Than what I had planned to be

All right!

Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers,
And laid entwined together on a bed of clovers,
And left there to sleep,
Left there to dream of their happiness.

7:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

..for everything else there's mastercard

priceless shit.


got drunk for the first time at lauren mcmurrays birthday party

the time kathryn had a party of the ten of us and marah and amanda spent the whole time puking in the bathroom LMFAO!

getting drunk with petra carly and kristy!


marahs birthday party,bunning in the basement late, everybody passing eachother out, and shooting elastics at eachother..

PASSING OUT!, did that so many times, it was fucking fun as hell!

all the times on the bus with morgan making fun of her with brandan, and the retard boy, and the crazy potsmoker bus driver, and gym class and NOT skipping...getting hot choclates before every class ^.^

when i had a bunch of people over and my mom came down and found a bong and freaked out and said she was going to bring it to the cops..and morgan started freaking out because SHE TOUCHED IT and thought the cops were going to fingerprint it

my birthday party ....watching petra eat chips off the ground because she was terribly stoned ..shannon crying because she was so fucking ripped..
and lindsay crying because we put her in an imaginary box and pretended we couldnt hear her.

halloween when i got my kitty MJ!!!


getting drunk on murrays mountain with justin amanda and taylor, then smoking two j's and beating the shit out of eachother...well getting taken down by justin AHAH

sneaking out of simones house at 4 am to go watch the sunrise on top of a roof on broadway with sarah and evan!



bronwyns party for sydney, everybody fainting then everybody making the twins sit there with there heads together guessing colours to see if they share brainwaves !!lmao

getting completly wasted at kathrine kaloukies? party and running as fast as i could fromt he cops over a fence and through a field, then trying to look for petra

going camping with marah lindsay and sam and playing a massive game of chess and getting so competitive and angry about it MARAH AND ME WON YAY!..also when we went to smoke up and there was a chicken in the tree!!

living with sarah donnelly!!!! and smoking weeed in her rooom with the ghettttto pb, and the time in james and dans room with jesse and the candles haha!!!  THAT CATS ANGRY...and "me and amanda blahblahblah" and when i chased the cats with the bell LMFAO!!! i love you sarah<33

getting very drunk at yet another one of lauren mcmurrays partys, and kat and shelby trippen on mush and rubbing my face telling me how soft it was, and me being drunk and just screaming

MEETING A VERY CUTE BOY ;)


going to whiteys house bunning and trippen out with lindsay on my lap and screaming cause the guys put on saw2 and we were skared and lindsay trying to turn it of but pressing pause on a gross part LMFAO!!

all the concerts i went to with marah, also shelby sam and kat..meeting bayside,aiden,silverstein and hawthorne heights!!

the time me amanda and taylor went adventuring through the forest and amanda fell off the log into the water, tripped over a fence, then fell off a tree

getting so wasted with taylor and hitting a p the puking and her just sitting there laughing, us dancing to our drunk song then beating eachother up, also when we got drunk and chilled in your room and took really bad drunk pictures..

fall fair and smoking weed in the field ,getting free rides, then going to another field to smoke ps then marah and shelby arguing about who gets the last p, so i got it..and everybody was all in a bad mood and we made it good again by teamworking it up to make a dome with our bodys so the lighter would light <33

all the wonderfull conversations i shared with taylor



all the fucking sick times in shelbys room, getting so fucking ripped and just laughing,singing to bayside and munching out madly <3
FAV MOMENT OF THE YEAR IS BELOW!!

shelby: omg guys everything in my room is blue!!!
everyone else :omg yeah this is blue, and your braces are blue and your eyes are blue and your nose rings blue, and that candles blue..and that,that,that, so on and so on...
 jackie *starts trippen out majorly*
jackie:shut up guys! you can do that with any color watch..EVERYTHING IN THE ROOM IS GREEEN
shelby:OMG EVERYTHING IN THE ROOM IS GREEN!!
everyone :thats green thats green and thats green
jackie: *gets way to tripped out and runs out of the room crying




GRADE 10

spliting a 26er of fireball with taylor, getting so completly wasted and though everyone at my house already started to walk to a party so we left the house at 1 and wondered around town crying cause we didnt know where the party was LMFAO!!

conversation with shelby  "wow ive never been so confused in my life"

when lindsay decided to change her pants in the forets so me marah and shelby took both of her pants and ran out and left her in there pantless

piggy back wars with marah lindsay denis curtis and chris

hopping over the fence to get to my house at lunch and after schoool ^_^

the time lindsay puked after drinking one and a half coolers


my birthday party & how drunk i was, and being the first one to pass out

the time i drank three coolers then hit a p and just ran upstairs and puked on my floor infront of my mom

march break! going down to sams, and going to 2 different partys..sitting in the car with those guys, and they were soooo jokes.

st patricks day, going to brads and taking so many shots of bronwyns  peach shnaaps when she wasnt looking, and getting so drunk! :)

going on roadies with pat klutcha!

underoath armor for sleep & taking back sunday with simone diana bronwyn cori and alex !

wanting to go to tasteofchaos2007 with sarah the next day but not having tickets, then going to buy them last minute,and that weird guy holding me through the used EW.

the 420 party when the cops came, then driving back into town and stopping of at mcdonalds and having three other cars from the party there, then dave and cory comming and kissing marah and chew, then going back to daves house and sleeping over..waking up at 6 am and being like SHIT and running back to my house...

mike stones party, gettttting so completly smashed,getting my face eaten AHAH, then not remembering anything else but i definatly got a ride home by drunk mike and made him pull over so i could "puke" (spit) then being all "thanks billlly!...shit i mean bobby" when bobby opened the door for me



leaving mike stones next party then going to laurens party, jumping on the trampoline wasted with luce and lindsay, then babysitting marah and staying with her while she puked for ever lmao, then waking up in my house so confused of how i got home.

the leblanc party when i started crying outside, then bobby started crying cause he thought i was crying because i didnt like him dating chewy,then locking myself in the bathroom and then making marah and chew cry then a big group hug and we were happy :D

getting smashed at my house, telling scofield he smelled so good, then getting so angry when he'd never tell me what he wore.

lockers party staying there till morning, finding marah at 7am looking so haggered, then walking back to my house, then waking up at 2 not remember walking home at all, or when we left peter and santa

may24 at simones daddddys! playing ddr drunk, also drunk darts.

sketchy daves little jams!

waking up to sarah sitting on my floor finishing my project that was due next class

getting drunk at chris browns and leaving at 3am and him walking me home..

brian simmonds party in the summer, babysitting lindsay and bobby...laying on the trampoline staring at the stars..hopingover a barbedwire fence and running so far into a field when the cops showed up



Grade 11.

mikes party..that bathroom trail!!...
some guy comming up to me:
him: would you kiss a gay guy?
me:no
him:am i gay?
me:no
him: would you kiss me then?
justine: PARDON ME?!!!!
me: AHAHAHAHAH does that work? man what a line

tylerfreemans party, trying to get to the street and falling and a cop seeing me and starting to chase me

sketchy daves sick dance moves in clees garage.

fiddy locking his keys in the trunk.

lockers pit..some guys go zooming by on a bike..and I ran thinking it was animals..running through the swamp..melinda getting a beer bottle whipped at her LMAO

slightly stoopid & 311, car breaking down, having to pretend to be dating nathan.

10:33 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

photos inside- me and friends <33
Current mood: grateful

okay so heres TONS of photos of me and my bestfriends from in between grade 7-grade 9 i love you guys.<33
























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1:07 PM - 10 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment