Luke........

We love you and miss you dearly Luke. You will always be remembered and loved. I will always owe myself to you.

4:04 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Thursday....the first day of school......
Current mood: blessed

Well yesterday was the kids first day of school. Having changed from a buxy Moore Public School to a little country bum-kin school was a shock to them. They were very nervous as was I. They came home from school and I thought I would here all kinds of God-awful stories.They got home and they were all smiles and full of first day/new school stories. Wow, I can't believe I have two kids in Jr.high and phoenix is in 3rd grade. At least I can say they like the school so far...me on the other hand...I am enjoying the peace and quiet.Cleaning house and resting as much as I can. I hope everyone is doing well.

2:18 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

forever and a day
Current mood: loved

Well, it's been forever and a day since I blogged. There has been so many things I have had to endure. More surgeries, family shit..fuck my ex-step dad!!!!!!!!! I have changed so much. Most people wouldn't know me now. I have searched alot of topics in my life, and made decisions that have changed my life, and in alot of ways changed me for the better. I know most people won't understand this, and I don't expect you to. I am a centered and calm, happy person now. I have no drama in my life and I keep it that way. I recently had another surgery on July 2nd. then was placed back in the hospital on the 6th for another 4 days. Things can change in the beat of the heart. Tell everyone that you love, that you love them on a daily basis. You never know what's around the corner...............

9:46 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

THANK GOODNESS

THANK GOODNESS THE KIDS HAVE SCHOOL TODAY. DYLAN LEAVES THE HOUSE AT SIX FOURTY FIVE TO CATCH HIS BUS TO JUNIOR HIGH. THE OTHER TWO LEAVE THE HOUSE AT EIGHT O FIVE TO GET TO SCHOOL. ALL IS QUIET EXCEPT FOR THE DOGS. MINE IS THE CUTEST. HIS NAME IS SCHMELL AND HE IS A MINI CHIHUA AS I CALL IT. HE THINKS HE'S THE BIGGEST DOG ON THE BLOCK YET MY HOUSE SHOE IS TWICE THE SIZE OF HIM AND HE'S NOT GETTING ANY BIGGER. GUESS I'M GOING TO LAY DOWN AND ENJOY THE QUIET WHILE I CAN.

6:20 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

another cold night

IT`S ANOTHER COLD NIGHT AND I HATE THE COLD. THE KIDS WERE OUT OF SCHOOL TODAY AND WILL BE OUT TOMORROW AS WELL. THAT MAKES FOR A HOUSE FULL OF CAOS. I CAN`T WAIT TO GET THIS LAST SURGERY DONE AND GET BACK TO WORK. I WANT MY LIFE BACK TO NORMAL. I WANT TO SETTLE DOWN AND GET MARRIED. DON`T GET ME WRONG, I KNOW MARRIGE ISN`T ALL CHOCOLATE AND ROSES. I`M NOT AN IDIOT. I`M NOT JUST BUYING INTO IT EITHER. THIS IS SOMETHING I TRUELY WANT AND I AM READY FOR. I GUESS I`M JUST NOT MARRIGE MATERIAL. HELL BOTH MY SISTER AND BROTHER HAVE BEEN MARRRIED TWICE AND HERE I SIT THE ONEE THAT IS WORKING ON BECOMING THE SPINSTER.

9:49 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

night time sucks

WELL IT`S SUNDAY NIGHT AND COLD AS EVER. I SIT HERE ALONE AS MY THREE KIDS ARE SLEEPING AND MY BROTHER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE SLEEPING AS WELL. I TRULEY THINK THAT ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS, WHEN IT`S SO COLD AND DREARY OUTSIDE YOU SHOULD BE SNUGGLED UP ALL WARM AND COMFY NEXT TO THE ONE YOU LOVE. I SEEM TO GET DEPRESSED AROUND THIS TIME OF YEAR AND THIS YEAR IT SEEMS TO BE WORSE. I DON`T KNOW IF IT`S BECAUSE OF ALL THE CRAP THAT HAS HAPPENED THIS YEAR OR MAYBE IT`S BCAUSE I AM JUST GETTING OLD AND TIRED OF BEING ALONE. WHO KNOWS. I JUST KNOW I WISH THAT CERTIAN SOMEONE WAS HERE. LIFE PLAYS SOME VERY CRUEL JOKES I THINK. I THINK IT`S ABOUT TIME TO GET SOME THINGS IN MY LIFE SORTED OUT AN DO SOME THINGS THAT I WANT TO DO, AND NOT GIVE A DAMN WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT IT.

10:36 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

the day after surgery

well it'sTHE DAY AFTER SURGERY AND I HURT LIKE HELL! PATRICK AND I SHOWED UP AT THE HOSPITAL AT THE REQUESTED TIME OF SIX AM. WHEN WE CHECKED IN WE WERE INFORMED THAT MY ACTUAL SURGERY TIME WAS ONE-THIRTY IN THE AFTERNOON. AS WE SAT DOWN QUITE UPSET WE WERE IN FOR A LONG WAIT. AMAZINGLY I WAS CALLED INTO THE FIRST HOLDING AREA ABOUT EIGHT-THIRTY AND WAS DRESSED OUT AND IV STARTED. ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES LATER WAS TAKEN TO THE SECOND HOLDING AREA. WE WERE THRILLED AT GETTING IN EARLY. OUR JOY WAS SHORT LIVED AS A NURSE TOLD US THEY MADE A MISTAKE AND I WAS SHIPPED BACK DOWN TO THE FIRST HOLDING AREA FOR THE NEXT TWO AND A HALF HOURS. I MANAGED TO SLEEP FOR AN HOUR OR SO. THEN WOKE UP AND NOTICED THAT MY IV HAD WENT BAD. PATRICK CALLED IN THE NURSE TO LOOK AT IT AND SHE SWORE IT WAS OK. FIVE MINUTES LATER SHE WAS IN AND RESTARTING IT. NOT LONG AFTER I WAS AGAIN TAKEN BACK TO THE SECOND WAITING AREA AND WAS WHEELED BACK TO THE OR AFTER A QUICK KISS. AFTER SCOOTING OVER TO TTHE NEXT TABLE IWAS PUT TO SLEEP AND WOKE UP IN RECOVERY HURTTING LIKE A MAD WOMAN. AFTER GGETTING MY PIN UNDER CONTROL I WAS SENT BACK DOWN TO THE SECOND RECOVERY AND WAS MADE TO EAT DRINK AND PEE BEFOER I COULD COULD BE RELEASED. IWAS ABLE TO DO ALL THREE AND WAS SENT HOME WITH PAIN PILLS. WE WERE ABLE TO FILL THE MEDS AND GET HOME WITHOUT ME SCREAMING. I REALLY STARTED HURTING TODAY ANDD HAVE ACTUALLY PISSED OUT A VERY SMALL PIECE OF THE ELEVEN MM STONE AND IT ABOUT KILLED ME. I GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR NEXT WEEK TO SEE IF THEY GOT THE WHOLE STONE BROCKEN UP OR IF I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN. SO KEEP YOUR FINERS CROSSED FOR ME. AND ROB, I AMVERY HAPPY THAT TINGS WENT WELL FOR YOU. AFTEEER GE

7:02 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

saturday

well here it is saturday december 1st. my oldest will be 13 this month. they grow up so fast. he has already recieved his birthday present early. he has his very own cell phone. i found out that a very dear friend will be having surgery the day before i have mine for my kidney. i will keep him in my thoughts and prayers. i know everything will be fine. the boys and i are currently camping out in my king sized bed with their cousin neto. we are watching saw one for the like millionth time. but i guess when the kids like it that much you can't go wrong. well i guess i'll jump off here and try to scare the kids. not really. have a great weekend everyone.y

9:55 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

still here

hey everyone i'm still here. got a new phone that makes myspace a breeze. i have to report that i will be going in for surgery on my kidney's this coming wednesday. i will be having my last breast surgery on december twenty sixth. i need to get out and have some fun. but i never have anyone that wants to go with me. so if your up for some fun let me know:-)

6:48 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Up and around for no apparent reason.....
Current mood: awake

Well, I woke up at 6:08, which is very odd for me. I don't have to be up until around 8 or so, and I usually have to fight myself to get up then. I have this never ending fued with my alarm clock. The snooze button and I are arch enimies. But here it is, now 6:39 and I'm up. Awake. Not in a sleep daze where I can lay down and go right back to sleep. SO, since I am up I decided to do some laundry, (which is in great need of being done) and jump in the shower.

When I got stretched last Tuesday I had thought nothing of it. Well, I am finding out now that I should have. My BOOBS are actually starting to get in the way of me doing things. It's weird to have no brests, and all of a sudden with one stretch I'm finding them bothersome. I can now look down and not see my belly. YAY! With at least two more stretches planned before surgery I fear I am going to look like Dolly Parton. It'll all change with the last surgery tho. Thank goodness.

You know, I've took some time to stop and smell the roses with me not being able to work for the past year, and I would like to say that I am thankfull for all my friends that stuck beside me even tho I was being alittle ( or alot) neurotic. Real friends are very hard to come by and I've got some of the best ones anyone could ask for. Really I do. 

I haven't seen Pirates 3 yet, but it's now out at the dollar show, so I think sometime this week I'm going to actually see it. I can afford a dollar but not the outrageous price they charge at the big named theaters. I can't wait for it to come out on DVD, that will be on my shelf. LOL

I want to go and see the new Halloween by Rob Zombie, but can't find the time, the money or anyone who wants to go see it with me. I loved his last two films, and I've watched the devils rejects about twenty times in the last three or four days. LOVE IT!

Well I guess I'm going to jump off here and shove myself back into doing laundry. There is a pile in the wash room the size of Mt. Everest. I hope you all have a great Sunday.

Currently watching : The Devil’s Rejects (Unrated Widescreen Edition) Release date: 08 November, 2005

4:37 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment