Let’s see who can guess what movies these quotes are from, without cheating and looking on IMDb. Hint: none of them are Kevin Smith movies (that’d be too easy).
1. "This is egg salad. It’s loaded with cholesterol. The wife won’t even let me touch it. It hardly seems to matter now, because chances are we’re already dead."
2. "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, ’The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part."
3. "London. You know, fish, chips, cup-o-tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins London!"
4. "I goddamn near lost my nose. And I like it. I like breathing through it."
5. "Was I born a cute vindictive little bitch, or did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that."
6. "You sly dog, you got me monologuing. I can’t believe it!"
7. "That was one goddamn hell of a show."
8. "It’s a battle between motors and horses. Like technology versus horse."
9. "You burned down my house and left me for dead. Consider us even."
Things you do when you’re on codeine
Current mood: sick
Category: Music
So, I'm cleaning up the ftp of my website (ConsumptionStudios.com) in preparation for the two movies I'm adding to the site (Turkey Day and The Arm) when I happen across some classics: old MIDI files from my stint as a composer at ECC. Yes, much like my pal Peter (writer/producer of Turkey Day and DP of The Arm), I too made the realization long ago that my writing way outperformed my music. Still, it's fun to listen to stuff I threw together way back in a pre-9/11 world.
...and here's my list of flicks I'm looking forward to this year (besides the obviously great shorts Turkey Day, The Arm, Chompers, and First Photographs of Hell), in alaphabetical order:
10,000 BC Be Kind Rewind Bond 22 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button The Dark Knight Get Smart Hancock Harold & Kumar 2 Hellboy 2 In Bruges The Incredible Hulk Indiana Jones 4 Iron Man Leatherheads Run, Fat Boy, Run Speed Racer Star Trek prequel Stop-Loss WALL-E Where the Wild Things Are Young at Heart and last, but far from least... Zack and Miri Make a Porno!
Matt’s Aught-Seven Movie Snobbery!
Current mood: critical
Category: critical Movies, TV, Celebrities
My Top Ten Movies of '07
"Clerks 2" Award for Best Movie I was Gonna Like No Matter What - The Simpsons Movie Lots of people bitched that this felt like a 90-minute Simpsons episode. So why did I like it? Because it felt like a 90-minute Simpsons episode! I've been waiting almost two decades for this to come out, and I was far from disappointed. Plus, who isn't still singing "Spiderpig, Spiderpig"?
"Se7en" Award for Creepiest Villain Ever - No Country For Old Men Anton "Sugar" was the baddest motherfucker on screen this year, tied with Daniel Plainview. But unlike P.T.'s incomprehensible mess, the Coens' flick had a great story, awesome cinematography, and some of the best lines I've heard all year... friendo.
Guy Ritchie Award for Best British Action Movie - Hot Fuzz The kid part of me liked the gunfire, blood-splattering, and goofy humor. But the adult part of me liked the tightly-written script and homage to every great action classic. This was the only movie I saw twice this year besides Simpsons, so that should tell you something.
"Live Freaky, Die Freaky" Award for Best R-Rated Musical - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street Ed Wood and Borat singing? Meat pies made from the upper class? Marla Singer in Victorian goth garb? This is the best musical about cannibalism since... Cannibal the Musical!
"Little Miss Sunshine" Award for Most Endearing Oscar Contender - Juno The dry heartfelt humor of Hollywood's current literary darling, Diablo Cody, and the quirky direction of Ivan Reitman's kid made this a very sweet, intellectual indy hit. Hopefully, now when I think of Ellen Page, I'll think of hamburger phones instead of castration.
"Fight Club" Award for Best Movie with a Pixies Song - Southland Tales Sure, the story makes no sense (even with the comic books), and the cast is led by Stifler, Buffy, The Scorpion King and Mr. Sexyback. But admit it: when you walked out of the theater, all you could think was, "damn, cool."
"Little Miss Sunshine" Award for Best Dysfunctional Family on a Trip - The Darjeeling Limited This felt like a typical Wes Anderson picture, which in my opinion is good. The dry humor and terrific acting between the quarreling brothers made this highly entertaining, while the beautiful subcontinental scenery and setting made it a work of art.
"Rosemary's Baby" Award for Best Pregnancy Deterrent - Knocked Up Apatow had three good hits this year, but this one beat out McLovin and Dewey for two simple reasons: better laughs, hitting more often. Yes, the crowning scene was a bit much, but watching Seth and Company was like watching the mailroom on the big screen.
"Sin City" Award for Best Use of a Green Screen - 300 This... is... a visual masterpiece, which skillfully blends realistic violence with action of mythological proportions. You can complain about the pseudo-setting, but I thought it gave it an effect not unlike watching a Greek tragedy on stage.
"Fight Club" Award for Best Use of "A Times B Times C Equals X" - Sicko I've decided I'm not moving to Canada to escape the Bush presidency. I'm moving to Canada to get health insurance that doesn't treat me like a variable in a cost equation. It's Moore's usual muckraking, but that's what makes it so effective.
Honorable Mention Persepolis - black and white + stark animation + French dialogue + coming of age = arthouse gold Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - more cameos per minute than any film in years Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters - so if a watermelon fucks a burrito, they give birth to a value meal? Lars and the Real Girl - if Capra made a movie about a sex doll, it'd be like this Planet Terror (Grindhouse) - whoever called this "the Citizen Kane of schlock" was dead-on
Worst (Half-)Movie of the Year: Death Proof (Grindhouse) Come on, QT, I know you can do better than this. Eighty minutes of chatter and two weak action scenes? I'd rather see a marathon of Dusk 'Til Dawn sequels. Yeah, I said it.
3 things I could really use help on
Current mood: needy ’n’ nerdy
Category: needy ’n’ nerdy Goals, Plans, Hopes
1. from the women of MySpace For my next movie, The Arm, I'm trying to make one of the characters the worst boyfriend in history. So what I'd like from the women of MySpace is a list of retarded things boyfriends do that piss you off. Forget anniversaries, stay out late with the boys, pick their nose and eat their boogers at the dining room table, stuff like that...
2. from the funny bastards of MySpace One of the tour guides at Sony and I have taken up a bantering contest. Whenever he's leading a tour group and sees me going by, he asks, "How's the mail going today?" I usually try to come up with something witty on the spot to entertain the crowd. (Once, when I was sitting shotgun in a cart, I grabbed my co-worker's hat, hung out the side of the cart next to a tour group, swung the hat in the air and shouted "FAREWELL, MY PEOPLE!" to a round of applause.) My standard response right now is "numerous and rectangular", but I would like some help with new responses. Anyone? (try to keep them PG-rated)
3. from the people with rental knowledge on MySpace Does anyone know where I could rent an unfurnished apartment or trailer home for only a week? I'd like to stay close to the 310, but I'll take anything in the TMZ. (This is also for The Arm.)
creative
curious
sleepy
sick
optimistic
