"Sunland" by Marty Pants

It
took me along
time
to find
a place
in California
That I like.

Sunland.

Redneck.

It has
a
country feel to it.

A smart lady
from
Australia once
told me
that people
gravitate
towards people they
look
like in
times of crisis.

I just like the mountains.

God Bless America.

10:56 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

"3 Years in LA (I remember)" by I.M. Nothing
Current mood: nostalgic

3 years.........It's been 3 years since I packed up my car and headed for California. 3 years ago today. I was fucked. I'm not sayin' I'm not still fucked, but I was fucked. I really felt like if I didn't leave, I was gonna get stuck in Missouri. There's nothin' wrong with Missouri, if you like sports, and wanna raise a family, but I'm not ready for that shit yet. So I packed up my 95' Civic, and headed west........I stopped in Albuquerque, hung out with a "friend", a mypace "friend".......We had a good time......Had a few drinks, went to a porn shop, we had to go to a shop on the other side of town 'cause her boyfriend worked at the closer one........God I kick ass sometimes............I remember sittin' in the hotel lobby, e-mailin' Craig, my profile'd been deleted, so he started one up for me........It was a different time........I remember drivin' up to the California border, agriculture check and shit, I hid my weed........I remember takin' a piss on the side of the road, sunrise, the air was fresh............I was so fuckin' tired.........I booked a room in the hood, LAX area, the price was right..........I got ahold of another myspace "friend", and we got together.......I remember the traffic.........Los Feliz on a Saturday afternoon..........Where do these people come from..........We scored some weed from some lesbos in Venice.......20 bucks a gram, are you fuckin' kiddin'.........A dub? Fuck that........The weed was decent, but it wasn't worth 20 a gram.........The next batch was better........Alot better........I remember singin' "Ricky Don't Lose That Number", and writin' a story about it..........I remember drivin' to Orange County on a Monday morning, tryin' to beat the traffic........I remember sttin' in my hotel room, a Travel Lodge on Beach Blvd. I remember makin' my minimum payments, and wonderin' if I'd make it. I remember alot of things. I remember.

8:37 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

"Cats" by I.M. Nothing

Beautiful morning, hangin' with the cat, 4000 dollar laptop, medical.........Sendin' some real love this mornin' babeeeeeeeeeeee!



Later.

Sincerely,
Blessed



For Missy Awesome B.A.C.

11:20 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

"The Space" by Marty Pants

When you're the last one
on the space
I don't really like
talkin'
to people

face to face

There's not really
any
place else to go.

Except inward................

And who needs that.



Later.

6:13 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

"My Trip To Mexico (Suck It Bitches)" by Marty Pants

Gas money to Mexico............................................25.00
Snacks and goodies along the way..........................10.00

Havin' a good friend watch your pants
while strippers get you naked.............................Priceless



Suck it bitches.

1:33 AM - 9 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

"Watchin' Porno On Coke" by Marty Pants and Pippi Van Halen

I'm watchin' porno
You know that I know
There's naked people fuckin'
On that TV show
I'm watchin' porno
Almost every single night
I'm watchin' porno (oooooooo)
Tonight.............

I'm watchin' porno
You know that it's true
I just watched an anal gang-bang
Starring Ashley Blue
I'm watchin' porno
Almost every single day
I'm watchin' porno (oooooooo)
Today...............

(Breakdown)

Off a coke again
I can't wait to get of a coke again
Doin' eight balls that I thought
would never end (Oh baby)
I can't wait to get of a coke again

Off a coke again
I can't wait to get of a coke again
Blowin' money that I really
shouldn't spend (Oh baby)
I can't wait to get of a coke again

One
Five
One

Thank you

1:29 AM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

"Sam And Billy" by I.M. Nothing

Some stories take awhile to tell, and some stories you have to wait awhile to tell........This is that story........It was July 3rd, 1999......I was throwin' a rave........"Free-e"........Yeah, the rave was called "Free-e"........I was growin' weed, and had some loose money......The scene was on fire, and pills were everywhere, it was time........So I rented a roller-rink, hired some djs, made up some fliers, and wished for the best.......That's all you can do right? Anyway, the party started, and everything looked good.........A big line, the djs made it into town, everything looked good.......But 45 minutes in, we had our first "OD"........Little bitch's trippin' too hard, damn, one down......And then it happened........The big one.......G.......Dood took too much G, and he's down, hard.........Paramedics, cops, damn, this ain't cool......I got 15 on the line.......I owe some doods.......Fuck........."One more, and this party's over".........Fuck.......Doods from Holland are bitchin', they wanna play, rink owner's pissed, I'm rollin' my ass off, what the fuck.......I just wanted to throw a party........And make some money........What's more American than that........Anyway, the party's over, rink owner shuts it down, caught some fuckers drinkin', so he shuts it down.......What can ya do........I head back to my place, completely exhausted, I hadn't slept in days, I'm rollin', I just wanna chill with some friends.......Junkies........I'm layin' on my mom's couch, I'm almost asleep, and I get this feeling........An E feeling........Dood's slappin' the fuck out of his "friend", a raver, he's blue, he's dead, this ain't good........So the slappin' continues, mouth-to-mouth, "Get that fuckin' shit out of my mom's house"..........So we drag the body across the lawn, "Weekend At Bernies" style, people are out bar-b-quein', havin' fun, I'm draggin' a body across my mom's lawn........A dead body.........We chuck the body in the car, and that's it, off to the hospital........I see the dood at a rave a couple months later, I don't recognize him........"Thanks for savin' my life"........I knew who he was........I still didn't like him........."I didn't do shit, thank Sam and Billy"...........I think about Sam and Billy alot. I wonder what they're doin'. I wonder if they're still alive. I just wanted to throw a party........And make some money..............What's more American than that?...........The end.

4:19 AM - 7 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

"Sex, Drugs, and a Box Full a Kittens" by Marty "I Believe in Romance" Pants

She's gotta be the coolest
motherfucker to ever live.
She's my baby.
We walk down the beach,
hand and hand,
not a worry
in the world.
We go to the beach
on Sunday.



Sex, drugs,
and
a box full a
kittens,
that's what
we all about.



We be rockstars
and shit.



Later.

For Missy Awesome B.A.C.

7:13 PM - 9 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

"Teens For Cash (The Grey Pubic Hair)" by Ryan "Da" Palma as Marty Pants

Bitch got a pubic hair
caught in her throat.

A grey pubic hair.



I thought she was gonna throw up,
so I kept snappin' pictures.



She was cute.

I think she was 18.



Later.

For Missy Awesome B.A.C.

1:27 AM - 7 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

"Make It Happen" by Missy Awesome B.A.C.

I have never had a driver's license.
Mainly because real gangster ass niggaz get chauffered.
And because I am an alcoholic that is avid anti-drinking and
driving...and I know I have little self-control, so I don't even want to put
myself in that position.
But shit.
I say, GODDAYUM.
I would like to have this car.
I bet I could lure in all the teenage boys if I circled the high school
in this bad boy.
Make it happen.

Missy Awesome B.A.C.