Autumn and Life
Current mood: blessed
Category: Life

.. this week i been working really hard over 65 hrs a week ,  there is a lot doctors on vacation plus we had a shortage already so im doing trauma plus doing a couple doctors  patients in the office i am very tired , today Friday is my day off this week ,..

I probaly do some shopping  for babies and get our thanksgiving decorations our thanksgiving in Canada is October  13th ...which is the monday ..... i always go way  out then i will start Halloween decorations and plan a  bit party I so much love halloween....

So what kinda plans do you have for  this month I  have so much to do im kinda excited no husband this year to help seems strange I loved him alot and I will always care for him because he is my babies father but i can never love him again .....there are no second changes with me and he knew that its getting quit cold here in Nova scotia now  fall is here the trees are  changing colors my apples are ready to be picked for pies i may do that with babies today ....they love pick apples and i  will make them a pie for supper .....

I wish i had more time with the children but i have to help people that was always my destiny and  the time i do spend with them is quality time ... i wrote so much i think I will put this in my blog too lol

Velanus

5:06 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Madness
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Writing and Poetry

hey friends !!!! I just wanted to let you know I am much happier now .. i realized that i am strong and can make decisons and i know when I am being treated bad...so i moved on .. i met great guy named buddy he is kind and honest and doesnt lie or cheat ...and he allows me to be me and have as many friends as i want...

As you know i am having nanny problems this new one is not working out but I been impatient with her due to my stress  so i am going  to work with her and see if we can see eye to eye ....

I gave her 4 hrs off today im going to the zoo with Irina and Inessa ... then I am going just  relaz ..something i never do maybe even do my pogo badges (lol)

Life is good and thanks all for helping me through

 my difficult time with my grandma dying this week (maybe i didnt even tell you )

I cant go home to Russia right now but i am working on her estate another house  now in SIberia brrr  i remember how cold it is i think I went r ent it out lol

Damn mobsters I deleted it ....it was getting all my nerves .....

Club is doing great i am thanksful to my clubbers i even sent few comments out today and you know i never did that ...

I updated my profile still working on it and goin gpost a few pics of the brats today lol

they will be 2 sept 15th  love ya all

Velanuis

1:25 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Nanny 9-11
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

Well, my nanny Quit 4 day ago..with no warning , she been with me since the babies were born.....she met a man and decided to move in with him ..and didnt give me the 3 weeks notice ,,,ha and did it on payday so....

I been getting the babies up at 4 am ... taking them to hospital daycare .....  Inessa is bad so they keep calling me when I have patients .....i been interviewing and I havent found the right person  yet...I hate Gregious its just like he is scott free .. no worries I been so worried I cant eat and my stress is way up I wonder if I am a good mother .... i need to work for my sanity but i know people think i should be a stay home mother because I can afford to do that  but i spend lot years studying and I love my job if i were staying home I wouldnt be as good a mother .....

God help me my nerves are at my witts end ...... anyways clubs doing ok if i could get my leaders to do there jobs on a regular basic most do ......im just miserable

Later ,

Velanus

3:57 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Cigerttes and Pepsi
Current mood: blessed
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

everyday when i go to work  my partners and I  in our medical firm  meet in our lunch room / relaxing pad before we see the patients, I always feel uncomfortable cause I share the practice with 3 older men , I noticed them always having large pepsi all day and smoking cigerettes, I wonder Doctors are so bad at taking care of themself , going see patients all smoky  (lol) they call me a prude .. I dont smoke cause i know its terrible for you body ...and i dont drink dark pop same reason especially at work..... then in middle of the  day we start making runs to Tim Hortons for coffee ..(which i drink a couple to caffeine )...well anyways they try my patients at times when they talk about woman and try to make me feel like i shouldnt be a doctor  they say i should be helen keller a nurse woman have no place in a profession made for men , and should stay in kitchen i remind them the most famous chefs were men doing a womans job ....they ask why i dont come work looking pretty i told them  im there to do a job not wear make up and high heels ...

I had hard week both babies were  in hospital with pneumonia and asthma thank god for the nanny she helped me alot .. im tired and my diabetes isnt very good i have increased insulin 4 times this week ,

funny things happen everyday.... the babies are growing ...

Greg, we dont have alot of time but we are maintaining what we do have today was Jaedens birthday  i miss him and i hate my brother for snatching him from me I raised him from a baby ..jaedan says he isnt treated well I am going see my lawyer about  helping out and sharing custody he is 8 now ....wow time flys (he is my nephew )

Happy Birthday sugar plum I love you very much I hope you love your gifts

Dreading fathers day (stirs up to many  feelings ) we will talk about his death later ...

Velanus

4:56 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

ANother day of adventure and thoughts
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Art and Photography

Well i started painting again yesterday ,  and i took some photos  I like black and white phtography its my favorite shots to take ....im completly grounded as a person now ....taking time to smell the flowers , listen to the rain, and laugh when the babies laugh....  anyone in your life he is stressing you needs to go...thats why i got rid of my husband i cant not compete with other woman and cheating , lying and deceit....basically I think  for now I am just looking for friendships becasue mental abuse ..is very hard on a person ...love is surpose to make you happy not uptight and in tears ...name calling and things are also forms of abuse ...

Today it is sunny and bright out i think we will relax and play a bit then check out shoes all girls need shoes even babies lol ..i am going meet a friend of mine  I went to medical school with  yesma and also take babies to lunch has to be 2 adults to handle them .....

friendship is good ....i love my friends which are few but special .....and same with my online friends never give your friends up because someone doesnt like them

Vellie ..peace out

6:55 AM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Sunny and warm
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Life

Hey , guess what i decided to leave work early , so i can barbecue and play on beach with babies ..we made sandcastles and  played  in the water its still a little cold ...... Im barbecuing corn on the cob , grilled veggies and tofu burgers, baked potatoes and  jumbo shrimp..... the babies love all those thing s, they prefer the  barbecue pit on the beach which is right in front of our house because they like smell of the coals we rarely use  the gas barbecue.... then we are going to picnic on the beach.... and look up at the stars tonight ......you know i realized its not wha tpeople say to stress out  you , its not about men .. its about me being happy and making sure my babies are happy, that is my main concern....

omg something happened at work,, one of the nurses at my job (male) he is new has been making sexual slurs at me since he started so the other day he asked me if  my hair color was the same on top as below i was very embarrassed all male doctors laughed ...then yesterday he asked me if I liked it from behind ( i said it a nicer way) because i have anus  in my name ..well i think I hd enough he works for me ..i am a partner in the office and i think he should be fired for sexual harrassment ..i think i should report him but im afraid other doctors will be mad at me ...

Anyways i managed through my mothers birthday and mothers day by myself noone wanted listen to me whine which was fine  hurt a bit but was fine ....

Just thought I would keep you updated on my sorted life lol

Velanus

11:15 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

My mother
Current mood: quiet
Category: Life

Dear Mother,
Here we are another mothers day another year to remember how you and papa were killed ....also Happy Birthday...
Things get rough around here. I'm usually fighting one headache after another. But never have I forgotten about you. How could I forget the person who didn't get up set when I came home crying because  i blew the violin recital , or because i got 90 on a exam instead of 100 ...
How can I forget the times you would sit down and play games with me or watch Operas on those late Friday nights? I love horror films and sci-fi because you introduced them to me, not fearing the effects those films would have on my young and impressionable mind.

And l, how can I forget the person who, even after seeing the first drawing I did of a naked woman (a stick person with long hair and two circles and dots for boobs) didn't get mad, but encouraged me to develop my artistic skills as the years went on.  I have become a great artist mother , how i wish you could see my black and white photography and my paintings You gave me that talent. and the musical taleny I so love playing the mandolin now when  i hated it so bad when i felt forced .  I love you i  so wish you could meet the twins Irina and Inessa they will be 2 sept 15th you were right  Gregious was not a good husband he beat me and cheated we got divorced ..... I  working as a partner in  a medical firm now  i know you wanted me to pursue music but i followed papa and became a good doctor.

I may not be able to be with you on Mom's Day... but I'm there at your side in thought, holding your hand, giving you a hug, and "blowing" on the back of your neck just to give you goose bumps.

I miss you, Mom. Even if I cant see you I still cherish your violin I miss you.

I met a nice guy his name is Greg (funny eh) we had some ups and downs but I think you would like him I am going try to get it to work ...he sent me beautiful  flowers for mothers day yesterday ///I wish you could see them  ...i am hoping to get home to Russia this summer to bring you some amazing flowers but fo rno wi am your flower i adore you

Tebia mama ...xoxox

11:06 AM - 6 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

just saying hello
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Life

Sorry i cant get to say hello as much as i want to my friends im not feeling to well and the demands at work at crazy ....along with babies but I am trying club seems to be doing well even though most leaders arent posting ....

do you ever wonder why i dont use periods and stuff ... when i learned to write to english  i never did lol

Happy birthday day sida/lila may your day be good remember the good times we had...and all the candy you ate (lol)

dawn and tracki your always there for me even though we dont talk much....

sag you rock honey !!!

adrienne and ali always rock they are so cool and every one else to steph your there ...

jen where are you you rock miss you in club ...Netta i dont know where you are ?

time for work hugs....

Vellie

3:10 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

emotions
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Life

im very tired of being blamed for everything .. people dont understand why i would be  like this ..im tired of my friends in my buisness , im tired of people i dont know judging me im tired of people lying to me  when im not stupid i can see what goes on.....its like being a  gum ball in a big machine ..doesnt anything seperate me from other gumballs ..im angry i am upset. ....why cant i feel secure why does doubt always creep in why cant anyone just be happy for me and stop playing childhood games im sick of it ..... hate me it makes me a stronger person ....

im not 15 yrs old dont question  my whereabouts , my reasons for things i do ...

im started to hate existing !!!!

2:49 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Whats New
Current mood: bullied
Category: Friends

Well whats new ... ex hubby is gone bk Russia and has left us alone ..he came for one last visit  told babies he wont be bk and slapped me couple times which was worth it to get rid of him.

I am pretty happy been chatting with a guy ..taking it slow cause i definetly dont want my heart broken ..we chat on the phone and  are getting to know each other ...break ups are so hard so i wan tto go slow  but i do have feelings for him...

Babies are wonderful waiting for cake on sat my birthday gosh been long 28 yrs ...i dont really celebrate my birthday .....

I am going to  be away a week in early April im going on vacation to dominican Republic for a rest ....then at end of april im hoping to make weekend trip .....

Friends your not anyones friend  if you get jealous becase they are  happy ...im gonna tell you jealously will get you know where ...so  i fyou dont get over it you jsut lose the friend relationships are meant to support one another not get mad because some one is seeing someone ..so to that person your my friend always will be but if you cant get over me  being in relationships theres a problem im young and of course i dont want to be alone my whole life , so  iif you chose not to speak  ..thats your choice ...

anyways  whats new with all of you ?

Velanus

6:15 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment