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Spiritual Partnership
Current mood:  peaceful
Category: Romance and Relationships
Dear Friends, I attended a workshop a few weeks ago on spiritual partnership in NYC, and wanted to share with you my notes from this two evening lecture with Geshe Michael Roach and Lama Christie McNally. I love to study with these two. They have so much to share between them. Their knowledge of ancient Buddhist texts and their ability to translate them into relevant modern teachings is inspirational to say the least. For more information their teaching schedule, please see: http://diamondmtn.org/ In addition to my notes on their lecture, the document attached includes a story that was shared with us regarding Tilopa (as part of an introduction to the series), a poem of prayer that Geshela and Christie shared with us, plus some dialogue that I happened to witness on TV the night after the first lecture -- which, as synchronicity works, tied right back into what we were studying. ENJOY! 
A talk by Geshe Michael Roach & Lama Christie McNally
NYC November, 2007
Notes gathered by Vanessa Kudrat Weinberg,
dedicated to those looking for spiritual relationship.
* Tilopa (a Tantric wisdom teacher) told Naropa (a sage student trying to reach enlightenment) to marry a nice girl who was also a Dharma practitioner. Following this advice, he married. At first they liked each other but after sometime, problems arose and they had many arguments. Naropa became extremely worried about this situation. During this time Tilopa came to visit him and asked Naropa what was wrong with him. Naropa explained that he and his wife were having a very difficult time.
Tilopa replied, "These problems are caused by your dualistic clinging. You have to abandon dualistic clinging."
-- excerpt from The Life Story of Naropa *
Day One: Where Is Your Spiritual Partner?
We all want happiness in business and in our relationships. How do we achieve lasting happiness? Meditation. Meditation in New York City requires a lot of discipline, as there are many distractions. Dedication to discipline strengthens the mind.
We all want to find someone with whom through the course of your life you go to heaven. Through your relationship you go to heaven. This does not mean that you spend all your time in a church or going to Yoga. It means that your partnership is founded on spiritual principals an you use these spiritual principals to make a good partnership.
STEP ONE: Find them.
By spiritual means, you create them through your visioning. They will come to you. STEP TWO: How can we be happy together?
Design and create your happiness, every day, in every moment. STEP THREE: Keep them.
All structures change. Is there a way to stop the end, to stop auto destruction?
Spiritual means = beyond death itself. (note TWO and THREE can be interchangeable) Why is attraction to the opposite sex one of the most interesting stories of all time? Tibetans say this attraction is holy. It opens the heart, beyond self. Selfishness tightens the knots around the heart. We are dying to loosen the knots and give our heart to someone whom we can trust with our love; whom we can trust with our service of selflessness. And if we do it with one person we then gather the strength to do it with many, with our community. This opens the heart's capacity for love. This is bliss. Your body contains Nadis, channels, finer than the energy of light, which can only be seen through meditation. Having room for wind to move through these channels and the mind are partners in creating bliss. A spiritual partner helps you loosen the knots of the chakras to bring wind into the central channel. A spiritual partner helps you rise beyond flesh and bone into something else, beyond negative thoughts into the angelic realm. And they are someone you find through spiritual means. Don't waste your time with "should I"s. Be you, do what you feel like. Finding a spiritual partner has nothing to do with how you look, how much you weigh, or what kind of clothing you wear. Outside conditions do not give us spiritual relationships. It has nothing to do with anything we "try" to do from the outside in…even though sometimes these things seem to work – there is always a greater cause. You do something inside that draws them in to you. Everything we experience is our own creation. Learn to control your mind to change your outside world. Small shifts in perception help to strengthen the mind. There will be a power, a force that attracts them to you. And then, it is not a decision, it is an intuition. When people get too tired to try, they are depressed. Your partner's positive and negative attributes are a result of the seeds you plant for the things you think you want, the things you think that you deserve. Get GOOD at planting seeds. If you want to find a person or people you can trust. Plant a trust seed, purposefully. Do unto other as you would have others do unto you. Go to a higher level of trust worthiness. You take it to a higher level, in all aspects of your life. Be trust worthy for others. Do what you said you were going to do. The power of truth…truth sets you free, truth speeds up the process. Help lonely people. If you want to find a partner, find a lonely person and help them. This is the seed to plant to have a partner. Work so hard to create good karma. Then take care of the seed so that it will grow. The best way to keep something is to give it away. Actively dedicate your truly good deeds to other people. You can say to yourself, "If it is true that I did good, then may all of (fill in your city/town) find their spiritual partners." This is giving away the karma. The more you believe and dedicate your good deeds, the faster this works. When you switch partners you do not change your karma. The problems you are having follow you until you change your karma. Find your new partner inside your present one by changing your own karma. Part One:
Practice daily, and with your whole dedicated heart to make the karma change. Sit down for five minutes and dream about what you want and picture all the qualities you want in your partner. You don't ever half to get only ½ of what you want if you do this meditation on a regular basis. Part Two:
Catch yourself at some point in your day having a wrong world view. And every time you catch yourself consistently and constantly switch your perspective, then dedicate that switch to your perfect partner. WHY WOULD YOU EVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN AN ANGEL OF ENLIGHTENMENT? *
From the HBO Television Show, Tell Me you Love Me.
A conversation a therapist is having with her husband, about her client: Wife:
He and his wife have been struggling. I told him to stick it out; that there was something at the end of it. And when he asked me what it was, I didn't know what to tell him. Husband:
Tell him it's the same thing he has now. Only he loves it, and he wouldn't change a thing about it. Wife:
How can I explain that to him? Husband:
You can't. You didn't fail him. He just can't grasp what we have, from his point of view. *
Day Two: Hold on to Them & Reach Them.
As teachers we plant seeds. Recreate each other when you drift apart. Make the same situation blissful. Understand why things fall apart. Your world is created by how you treat other people. If you use the method to help people, you must continue to help people, keep up, and continue to do the work. This relates to your body your beauty and your age too. Continue with your kind deeds at a high degree and the body will not change and get old. Sickness brings up fear. Fear of having no control is pain. Flip the switch. Ask yourself, "Why am I sick? What really causes this pain? What was the seed that I planted?" If you can name it, it starts to go away. It creates freedom from the pain; freedom from fear. If you let yourself get angry at your partner, you plant the seed of anger coming at you in the future. Stop this, by knowing that the pain has come from a seed you planted in the past - maybe even with another partner or business. Stop, don't react. Hold yourself back. Calm down (whatever it takes). Find the real cause in something you have done. There is no room in your mind for anger when it is filled with wisdom. With practice, wisdom wins, and plants new, more powerful seeds, so that you can do it even better next time. It is good luck to live in a city of lonely people. There is a lot of work to do. Work a little bit. Help someone who is lonely. Put in the elbow grease and dedicate this work to making your partner better. Scrub. If they still bug you, you are not working hard enough. Don't stop until your partner is perfect. Keep helping lonely people until it is Christmas every day. You can make everything. The people around you are not separate from you. It is all one body. You need to feel the needs of each person, in order to be happy. Since we feel each other's emotional bodies, this is very important. We feel each others anxiety, especially when we are in a place of stillness. This is very important to acknowledge in your home dynamic. Don't use the family unit as a fortress against the world. One way to keep your partner is to do more than just eat and sleep and see movies together. Do something for your community, together. Take care of people together. Take care of people in foreign places, together. Give up your borders. Motherhood is surrender and service to one child. Be a mother/father to everyone. As you grow psychically, you will begin to know what everyone needs. Sometime a teacher can emanate to you through another body. If you can't read your partner's mind, maybe they are a Holy Being, guiding you, dragging you to Heaven. And in your heart you say, "I surrender to you. Please help me. Take me with you." This is a good thing to do when falling asleep -- say, "I believe in you. I surrender to you. Please take me now." * From Words of Glad Tidings, about the Angel of Diamond, a Traditional Tibetan Prayer: May we have the joyful fortune Of reaching the Angel of Heaven: The one who sends herself To every different form To meet the needs Of every different person; To grant every different wish In every different, unexpected way. * Side note…6 blocks of spiritual influence. I would like to share with you a concept voiced by William C. Bell, President and CEO of Casey Family Programs and former Commissioner of New York City's Administration for Children's Services. As I have heard it told, in Mr. Bell's opinion, the way to save the world, and our families, is for each church, mosque, temple, (Yoga studio) etc. to care for the spiritual, psychological, economical, educational, medical, and basic needs of (at least) the six block radius around their community. If that could be accomplished in our cities, think what a different country this would be. I think it is also imperative to consider taking this concept one step further, into our own personal neighborhoods, apartment buildings, or rural communities. Where ever you live, consider the six blocks around you, or six miles, or six apartments. Take an interest in your neighbors' needs, encourage them to reach into their six blocks of spiritual influence and share this concept at the place that feeds your spiritual needs. More info on Mr. Bell and the Casey Family Program can be found here: http://www.casey.org/AboutCasey/Leadership/ExecutiveTeam/WilliamBell.htm
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