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The Writings of Vincent Truman

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Vincent Truman

Last Updated:
Sep 1, 2008

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Thursday, September 04, 2008

How To Write A Play
Category: Writing and Poetry

Having just completed the run of "The Tearful Assassin", I thought it would be helpful to create a simple instructional video on how to write such a great work.

If nothing else, it is my hope that this vlog will help diminish the bump of popularity my recent blogs have inspired.

 

6:13 AM - 38 Comments - 49 Kudos - Add Comment

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Last Words of Jesus
Category: Religion and Philosophy

Note (September 1, 2008): I've been advised that, for some bizarre reason, this blog made it into the Top 10 in Religion/Philosophy.  To any active debaters itchin' for argument, please note that I am a satirist.  Serious comments can be left on any one of the thousand serious blogs out there; this is not one!

 

I tend to avoid writing overtly religious blogs, but this one just came to me and I wanted to get it down fast.

In one of the religious blogs I frequent, a gentleman called Jonathan said: there are several things Jesus supposedly said in his "last moments" and the disciplines recorded whatever was most memorable to them.   but guess what.... its very possible he said all of them (they never imply they were his "very last words" just the "last words" they may remember).

Odd spelling and grammar notwithstanding (aren't they disciples, not disciplines?), I really like the idea of the four guys only writing down what they thought was memorable.

And a piece of sketch comedy is born.

_______________________

Scene: Golgotha. Jesus is wailing away on the cross. Four guys stand at his feet, with parchment and ink, listening intently.

JESUS: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do!
LUKE: Oh I like that. (writes it down)
JOHN: What does he mean, they know not what they do? Of course they know what they're doing.
LUKE: What do you mean?
JOHN: The Romans have killed hundreds this way.  They've got it down to an art form.
MATTHEW: Good point, John. That's not going in my gospel.
JOHN: Mine either. Makes no sense.
LUKE: Well, it's going in mine.
JOHN: You're a dick, Luke. But, like, whatevs. It's not that memorable.
JESUS: I thirst!
JOHN: See, I like that. Direct, to the point. That's mine.
LUKE: You're kidding me.
JOHN: What?
LUKE: No one's going to care if he's thirsty or not. I mean, I'm thirsty, too, but you're not going to write that down.
JOHN: You're not being crucified.
LUKE: Oh, so if I was being nailed to a cross, I could say I was thirsty - and that would be gospel-worthy?
JOHN: Yeh, yeh, it would be.
LUKE: You're an idiot.  What if he said he wanted a burger?  Would you put that in?
JOHN: Yes.  It relates to the human experience.
LUKE: Well, it's not going in my gospel.
JOHN: Suit yourself.
MARY MAGDELINE: Maybe you should write everything down.
ALL MEN: Shut up, Mary!
JESUS: My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?
MATTHEW: Mine!
LUKE: Mine!
JOHN: Nah, not memorable.
LUKE: You are shitting me. You're going to put in 'I thirst' but not 'why have you forsaken me?'
JOHN: No point.
LUKE: Why not?
JOHN: Nobody says 'forsaken'. What an elitist word.
LUKE: You're unbelievable.
JESUS: Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.
LUKE: Now there's one we can agree on.
JOHN: Mmm, nah.
LUKE: Oh I don't believe this.  He's giving his spirit to God, John.  That's gospel-worthy!
JOHN: Still sounds elitist to me.
JESUS: It is finished.
JOHN: Mine!
LUKE: Jesus Christ!
JESUS: Yes?
LUKE: Oh, sorry, not you. Carry on.

Jesus dies.  The four go off to get a burger and discuss a possible sequel.
 

12:16 AM - 85 Comments - 88 Kudos - Add Comment

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I Have The Hottest Friends on Myspace!!!1!
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

It's true - my friends on myspace are the hottest in the world.  They are so hot, in fact, that I started thinking that my dearest and hottest friends should be spokespersons for the hottest products!   OMGz it just makes common sense!

And here they are... the hottest selling the hottest... exclusively on this blog.

 

 

Bekah doesn't say a lot, but it's soooo hot!

 

Cranks was made for scratching the hot of myspace!

 

Diane has a hot mouth for success.

 

Nobody does alleyways like Hot Gary!

 

Jennifer is best when hot - and wet!

 

Jill is a poster child for hot danger!

 

Kristin invented hot!

 

I love Kyle like the hot son I would forever deny fathering!

 

Melissa is the cool basement in the humid co-op of hot!

 

Paul is a hazi!

 

And nobody's bigger than Robert when it comes to hot!

 

_____________________

 

 

2:10 AM - 81 Comments - 86 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Biden Time
Category: News and Politics

It has been reported that Illinois Senator Obama has chosen Delaware Senator Joseph Biden to join him on the Democratic ticket in the run for president this year.  My thoughts are mixed on it, though ultimately I will retreat to my Artistic Stance that we're all heading for a bleak end anyway, and, like, whatevs.

But before I do that, here were the pros and cons I immediately thought of when hearing the news early this morning.

PRO
Biden is a bit of a bad-ass and fits the concept of the New Vice President role established by Cheney.  It's now a two-person show, instead of a one-person show with a ceremonial post that could be filled by an empty briefcase.

CON
Biden is a bit of a failure, having run for president twice and tanked out early both times, generating little interest and little connection to America.  And, as McCain's junior by only six years, the 'old man out of touch' riff might bite the Dems in the ass.

PRO
Biden has very good foreign policy experience, adding great depth to the party's global platform.  So does Clinton (Mrs.), but Biden doesn't make public mistakes.

CON
Look, it's JFK/LBJ Part 3!  (Part 2 was Dukakis/Bentsen, and you know how well that turned out)

PRO
Biden will make the ticket easier to swallow for America.  After all, there's one white guy on the ticket, and history shows they have been very popular in the voting booth. 

CON
Choosing Clinton would have sealed the election, as an Obama/Clinton ticket be unstoppable from a sheer recognition perspective.  It would be two megatars v. a star and a co-star (or, if McCain taps Romney or Lieberman, falling stars).  Additionally, it would have symbolized a 'bridge OF the 21st century' between two 'minorities', for lack of a better term, truly representing that 'change' thing we hear so much about.  Having picked Biden, I'm disappointed, as an American, mainly because I have to research a whole new person instead of being content.

PRO
Biden's middle name is Robinette.  That's funny, compared to the sheer terror people feel at the mention Barack Hussein Obama.  So it's a good balance.  And if that comes out, then eventually people will notice that McCain's middle name is Sidney, which is just gay-sounding.

CON
This will probably actually be an issue.

Whatevs.

_________________________

On a personal note - well all of this is a personal note - ahem - on a more personal note, my show is in its last weekend and, if you're in Chicago, you should see the damn thing.  It's solid.  And tonight, it's pretty damn near sold out.

The Tearful Assassin
Saturday 730pm; Sunday 700pm
Gorilla Tango Theater
1919 N Milwaukee (Milwaukee/Armitage/Western)
web site for tix, pix, blogx, etc.

3:20 PM - 41 Comments - 56 Kudos - Add Comment

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Room with a Review Part II: The Reckoning
Category: Games

The reviews for "The Tearful Assassin" are out!

As a young actor, my relationship with reviews was tenuous; I would read them over and over, like a mantra, until I believed whatever the scribe said.  This was certainly the case when I was exploring improvisation - an art form that doesn't really warrant reviews at all, since the shows change drastically night to night.  As a producer these days, it is my job to go through the reviews, not give them too much credit or scorn, and mine words and phrases for promotional blurbs.

First up, there's the abridged review of Sarah Terez Rosenblum (admittedly an interesting gal) from Centerstage Chicago:

All that needs to be said about "The Tearful Assassin" is, "Skip it," or if you're feeling dramatic, "Dear God, don't go!"

Written by Vincent Truman (admittedly an interesting guy), the blessedly short play uses a clever little Tarantino-esque time-shuffle to tell the story of a young girl abducted from her suburban home.

Unfortunately, "The Tearful Assassin" grates aurally and morally. In addition to being the LOUDEST play I've ever seen, what with the captured girl's endless sobbing and Opera-worthy screams, and the parents' incessant one-note arguing which naturally culminates in sex (FYI, a screechy fighting match and an assumed dead daughter are the best aphrodisiacs ever!), it is set in a world totally lacking in meaning, morals, or love.

This is not a review one can pull a lot from, but this could probably be said for any review by a writer who thinks Quentin Tarantino invented the time-shift in a story.  Two of the lines in the play unintentionally rhyme; I'm surprised she didn't say I ripped off Jay-Z.  In any event, it becomes obvious that, for blurb purposes, what I can pull...

"Clever" - Centerstage Chicago


 

Next up is Shannon Ray's abridged review from EDGE Chicago:

Losing someone you love, by far, is the hardest lesson that we face in our lifetimes. We all grieve in different and distinct ways- anger, resentment, hope for the impossible, and finally, avoided acceptance of the loss. In Vincent Truman's 'The Tearful Assassin', we take an intense gaze at one family's and how they deal with saying good-bye.

From the beginning scream within the first five minutes of the production, to the full circle ending, the viewer is indicated with a range of emotions as we watch the home abduction of teenager Angela Pierce (brilliantly played by Caitlin Emmons) and the aftermath that follows.

The teen is taken by a character known only as "Professor" (Robert Felker) for reasons unknown. The chemistry between Angela and the extremely creepy Professor is beyond chilling. I sat in my seat with goose bumps running up my arm with every "lesson of truth" that was given to the teen.

While their teenage daughter is missing, the audience also see's the hostile relationship between Angela's parents, Lawrence & Lorraine Pierce (Matthew Tucker & Mary Marshall). From the very moment their daughter is taken, the two are at each other's throats; playing the blame game. Angela's mother is a major control freak, while her father is more slack in nature. Their resentment towards each other reaches a boiling point with an unexpected result. It never seems to ever be about their daughter, but more about their "appetite for tragedy."

Rounding out this stellar cast are the two detectives assigned to the case- Loretta Runer (Shelley Nixon) and John Fowler (Vincent Truman). The realist and optimist are divided in nearly all aspects, expect one- to find Angela before it's too late.

Though I think the praise is almost a bit heavy in this review, it is a good karmic counterpoint to Centerstage's eulogy.  However, although Ray nails the intent of the play in her first few words, it is not particularly blurb-worthy.  This leaves us with:

"beyond chilling... stellar" - EDGE Chicago

 

Next up is the review from New City from Lisa Buscani, who was unwittingly a mentor of mine when I was first interested in producing/writing/performing back in the days when cellphones were called mobile phones and looked uncannily like the radios Army patrols used in Vietnam:

"The Tearful Assassin has all the snappy perversion of a "Law and Order: SVU" episode.  But weak performances and missteps keep the show from being Dick Wolf-worthy.  [synopsis]  Vincent Truman's detective has a smart-ass naturalism that's fun to watch; Caitlin Emmons' terror and weary betrayal is truly believable.  Truman's dialogue is authentic, but his plot has some glaring errors: allowing characters to suddenly take a bow mid-show and leave the stage is a jarring, ineffective decision.  The show deserves better choices than that."

Of the four reviews, this one definitely sounds like the most disciplined critique of a work and I did write her to thank her.  She did write back with a few more ideas, which we have in fact incorporated into the production.  Added bonus: easy blurbs!

"The Tearful Assassin has all the snappy perversion of a "Law and Order: SVU" episode... Vincent Truman's detective has a smart-ass naturalism that's fun to watch; Caitlin Emmons' terror and weary betrayal is truly believable." - New City

 

Finally, there's Larry Bommer's review in the Chicago Reader.  I admit to being a little anxious about this one above all, as Bommer is one of the big reviewers of stage productions in Chicago.  He is also, as I've read throughout the years, rarely wrong or off-point.

"There's some sick truth here: When a 16-year-old girl is abducted by a supposed stranger, she's lost in more ways than physically. Strangely energized by the kidnapping, her parents, best friend, and boyfriend appear more interested in the fact of her disappearance than in what may have happened to her. Worse, they develop an appetite for tragedy that feeds on itself, replacing regret and even halting a police investigation. Though heavy-handed in its depiction of the ties that unbind, Vincent Truman's one-act earns its cynicism by revealing emotional details of the loved ones' lack of loss. Most haunting is the creepy fact that the kidnapper's concentrated interest in his victim outweighs her family's casual concern. Melissa Malan's staging for Viable Theater Company is as crisp and streamlined as the writing."

Oh, I like me a reviewer who uses them there adjectives.

"revealing... haunting... Melissa Malan's staging is as crisp and streamlined as the writing" - Chicago Reader

_________________

So if you're in Chicago and haven't seen it - and I know you haven't - get down here.  Not only do we have a great cast, great production, great script and a great drink deal at a nearby bar, we also have the pinnacle of theater success: great blurbs.

Fri/Sat 730pm; Sun 700pm
Gorilla Tango Theater, 1919 N Milwaukee
Through August 24
www.tearfulassassin.com

 

2:35 PM - 22 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment


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