Picture

Picture
I see our fate I see our past
And all the things that could not last
It's heavy on these eyes, frozen as I hold this photograph
It's all we're left that's of any worth
And it's so much more than a thousand words
Now in this frame is our only way we can endure

I pictured you and me always
And in this photograph we're safe

All I hear in my head
Are all the words I wish I'd said
Sentimental thoughts are overwhelming me again
As I stare through a lens of tears
At what remains of those fallen years
Now in this frame memories are held to persevere

I pictured you and me always
And in this photograph we're safe

Coping with this loss has broken me
And I'm just hoping things are all as they should be
I pictured you and me, you and me
I pictured (3x)
Oh, I pictured (4x)

I pictured you and me always
And in this photograph we'll stay
I pictured you and me always
And in this photograph we're safe

We're safe
We're safe

9:47 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Fear...I would rather love...Help me to love Jesus

Sometimes I wonder if I'm impetuous in writing when I'm in a state of contemplation.  I sometimes think I'm going to spew something out that I haven't quite fully digested myself yet.  Still, I've always been a big believer in physics...a body in motion tends to stay in motion...hence, this writing...

So I just got back from one of the best bible studies I've ever had in my life.  We talked of Luke 4, where Jesus comes onto the scene and announces the beginnings of his messianic ministry to His people...who literally try to run him out of town for it.  It's a section of scripture that has haunted me for a long time because I sense a very personal application to my life in Christ's words of how "No prophet is ever received in his hometown."

When we began picking this apart, I offered my thoughts as to why Jesus wasn't accepted.  I've noticed from my own life as well as in talking to others that, after awhile, people sort of get slotted, categorized, and pegged.  This is Bob.  Bob is a software engineer who likes to play chess, has a healthy marriage, his kid is the loud one in church, and lives over on Cedarwood Road.  This is Jane.  Jane is a divorcee who no one is really sure why her husband left her.  She tends to be kind of quiet and keeps to herself.  Rather beautiful, you wonder why men don't approach her yet she does give off an air of superiority (perhaps through her intellect) and her lack of giddyness can probably be viewed as aloof...

To be honest, even that doesn't do it justice...Most people tend to label a lot quicker with less depth I've seen...Not all of course but a lot of us do.  I do.  I think we all do on some level.  'Why?' is a question I've asked a lot, especially at this, and I'll ask it here too--why do we do this? 

Overall, it's a comfort thing.  It's a lot easier to slot someone than to truly get to know them.  Beyond that, as they change as a person, it's much easier to keep them as you knew them than to grow and change with them.

Jesus was up to this point "Joseph's son" and "the Nazarene carpenter."  Not exactly the stuff of which claiming to be the Messiah is made out of.  Still though, that is not what ticked them off to the point of wanting to kill him.  It was his bold declaration that they will make the mistake with Him that they made in the past with all of the other prophets who came to offer God's salvation to not just the Jewish people, but to the Gentiles as well.  In other words, Jesus is telling them that "Again, you are wrong.  Again, I am here for you and for all."  They didn't want to hear it though.

It was much easier to look for this idealized version, their version, of what a savior looks like, rather than simply accept what this man of power, wisdom, etc. is proclaiming about the kingdom of God.  They wanted a political savior that would restore Israel.  Jesus later tells them "Love your enemies.  Pray for those who persecute you."  Not the stuff of revolutions and nationalism...

It got me to thinking what I often picture my savior as in terms of what he will give in my life.  I thought of all the things that I pictured as so very good that, when taken away, I became so very angry.   Looking back, I see God's love for me in removing those things and those people (and yes, I'm talking about women here primarily, i.e. former girlfriends/girls I really liked) from my life...It made me think about what my depiction of a wife should be, how that's changed over the years, and what marriage really, truly is versus the idealized view I once had that was built on fantasy.  It made me think of the purpose of work...All sorts of things went through my brain...Getting back to the bible now lol...

We then see Jesus go to Capernaum and perform all these miracles.  A very close town geographically speaking.  Literally, the next town over!  Yet there, he's treated like a rock star...People are climbing over themselves to get this Jesus guy to heal them, touch them, anything!

That made me think as well...Sometimes, our true calling can not be experienced to its fullest in a place where we've always been known.  It becomes very easy to be labeled.  "That is Mike.  God took him and pulled him out of the pit.  Lately though, the last few years, he's been kind of quiet.  Kind of aloof.  Kind of depressed.  I sure hope he gets back to that guy I once knew."....In my sincerest of hearts, I hope a lot of people have not thought that but I know for a fact a few have.  I've had one of my closest friends essentially say those very words to me.  To be honest, it hurt deeply because I feel that I am a much better person now and someone who loves more freely than he ever did before.  I want this guy to love me as I am rather than expect some "better" version of me to return.  Likewise, I want to live in the now with him rather than essentially being stuck in "the good ol' days."

I am doing my part to dive in to my life here.  It's good in that, like with the guys tonight, God is showing me my giftings and giving me places here to serve others.  Yet, I still feel this staticness in some ways.  I'm honestly pretty ok with life overall but I still feel a lack of the pond being big enough here now...I do not know what this means as yet but, again, tonight, I was brought back to that haunting "a prophet has never been received in his hometown."  I'm beginning to wonder if the call on my life will have the next step taking me away from here...Just a thought...

The other thing that hit me was Jesus' response to those in Capernaum.  All these people are worshipping him.  I said it before but, honestly, he was like a rock star :)  They wanted nothing but more of this Jesus guy, unable to get enough of Him.  Think Elvis in 1956, Michael Jackson (Thriller video era), Tickle Me Elmo, lol, you name it...He was "the In Thing!" in Capernaum...

Yet, what does Jesus do?...He goes, quiets himself, and tells them that He must go.  They beg him to stay.  He tells them that He can't...Far greater work to far greater numbers of souls must be done.

Stop here for a second...Jesus could have had a pretty good life there in Capernaum.  Being God, He could do a little healing here, some preaching there, etc. and people would be happy.  He'd probably have some dad of some hottie offer him his daughter and some land and say to Himself  'Hey!  Why not?!', settle down, and live a pretty nice, normal, life with a lot of people liking Him.

He didn't though.  He shunned "stardom" and continued on his way to Calvary--much to the benefit of everyone reading these words who knows Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

In other words, it wasn't about pleasing people.  It wasn't about approval ratings.

What it was about, Jesus' life I mean, was following the call of the Father.  Nothing or no one could come before that...

I began to think out loud again....

Dan asked a poignant question to the married guys; 

"What if your wife gave you a rating, 1 to 10, what would it be?" 

Most of the married guys admitted they weren't sure.  I found that fascinating :)  What I began to see was a theme; "some days I'm an 8, some I'm a 2, most...well, I'm not so sure" was kind of how it went.  Deeper still, I smelled a little fear.

Most married men I'm now seeing secretly fear their wives.  If there is but a single idealist Christian girl in the crowd disagreeing with me, I hate to burst your bubble but every married guy in that room nodded...Deal with it; you will be a whole lot more attractive and approachable once you take marriage off the idol post...I do not mean to be harsh, simply to offer the truth.  

Most guys wives know everything about them (number one) and, in that, all the bullcrap posturing that a lot of guys do (and live their lives on; their false self image) is seen through.  Your not Bob the software engineer with the great marriage.  She knows your Bob who can never balance the checkbook and almost never compliments her when she spends a lot of time getting ready for a date.  She knows you; from your body down to your very soul!  That can be intimidating!  It's the closest level of knowing we have with another human being--and it's scary.  We all know we're sinners and I have yet to talk to a married couple that has not told me that their spouse helps them see the best things and the worst things in their character.

When Dan asked that question, I asked a question..."What determines the grade in your mind?"...In other words, what is the criteria?

Silence all around for a minute or so...

Dan asks me "What are you getting at Mike?"  We all began to offer some thoughts but, in general, I told him that, deep down, every woman knows what is the best thing in a marriage and so does every guy.  Deep down, every woman is looking for her man to lead; to take the ball and run with it.  That is strength, that is being a leader...that is sexy lol!  But sometimes, that goes smack against what she may want.  This one guy brought up how she may want a new car even though, deep down, she knows that it would not be wise.  What she's not looking for is some pansy who caves with an "Oh gosh, ok honey!" (who then works longer hours to pay for the car, in turn affecting quality time together, in turn shutting down their sex life, in turn making the guy secretly despise his wife until one day his secretary looks a whole lot more attractive...you know the rest of that story)  She deep down wants a "No.  That is not best for us."

Where most guys screw up, where I've SOOOOOO often screwed up, is feeling this need to justify ourselves.  There is a book I'm going to read about discipline with a chapter titled "The Power of Silence."  I tend to always want to justify myself rather than live my life honestly and then let God be my defender.  But, again, WHY?!  Why do I and soooo many of my brothers I'm seeing look to women for their approval?

Eve.

We still choose her over God.

Just like our first father, we are still hopelessly people-pleasing...Adam chose Eve over God and, even though all women like to be worshipped for a little while, they eventually get tired of it.  I've found this even more so with attractive girls.  I think the closer we get to beauty, the more we realize we are not perfect...

Ultimately, a loving marriage, we all concluded, is built more on following God than on pleasing your wife...The second is a byproduct of the first.

Most of my female readers probably agree with that but I will challenge you if you do on a practical level.  Do you really want your man or the guy you like to love God more and encourage him to go after what's in his heart or is it really all a quest built on trying to get him to lavish you, become some ridiculous ideal of a man, etc.?  Only you can answer this question but I encourage you to bring it before God in prayer...

Fellas, man....why do we do this?  Why do we live in fear of women?  What the crap?!  Seriously!  What a perversion of how God intended us to lead and to love!  If perfect love casts out fear (I John 4), then the inverse is most likely true to....fear screws up our ability to love.

I openly repent of my fears, manifest in performance and a need to justify so that I'm approved, but I know that unless God is truly first, I will always have that tendency to want to turn to Eve...in whatever form she takes.

It was cool to see this with the guys though...We all acknowledged this stuff I've talked about to be real and true and we all realized that God's love, as cliche as it sounds, is the answer on how to love.

Show us how to love Jesus...May we all feel your love over us as well as your jealousy over us.

8:40 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Learning to laugh at my foot-shaped mouth :-)

The devil most often tries to whisper to us, upon knowing Jesus, that we are somehow still not "good enough."  Where that poison leads us to is a route of legalism and, over time, a place where our hearts are completely hardened to the Spirit. 

The funny thing is, this lie completely is the opposite of the very thing that makes us all fall to our knees before Jesus; the realization that we are not MEANT to be good enough.

Grace, again, is the door...As it relates to my life now lol...

______
Bryan and I just get off the phone...yet another great conversation...I am very blessed to have the friends I have.

Anyway, Bryan's life has been an encouragement to me in a lot of ways.  For one, our friendship is still very strong even though he is in Philadelphia and I'm in Milwaukee.  Of all of my friendships, this is probably the one that I feel is least affected by distance and time.  We work hard to maintain our friendship but even that will not always keep it going I've learned.  God blesses us with a few people that will (probably) be in our lives for the long haul.  I believe Bryan to be one of these people for me.

He said something to me over his winter break here that has been really impacting me.  I told him about a moment from my past wherein I felt I said something, more so didn't say something, that I greatly regretted.  I felt that this statement sort of ended a relationship I was in that I did not want to end.  Bryan, in amazing clarity, tells me that "If something ends because one person says one thing, even does one thing, that is a mistake, it is not meant to go the distance (i.e. marriage) anyway."

That really hit me...This notion of grace as it applies to our failures with people.  It dovetailed off of a conversation with Jeremy, probably a few months before that night with Bryan, wherein he said to me "since when did Mike Schuttke forget about grace?"  His words hit me hard as well because I began to realize that this thing I love talking about, the grace of God through Jesus Christ, is something that I far too often do not apply to my own life.

I've made a lot of mistakes, done stupid things, said even stupider things, and sometimes for me the hardest part is just forgiving myself.  I'm often my harshest critic.  Far too often when I make an honest mistake, I beat myself up rather than "laugh it off."  RARELY is anything in this life an out and outright rebellious (maybe that's not the word but...) mistake in that we do something stupid just for the sake of doing it, knowing full well we shouldn't.  I'm learning most people don't do this.  My conversations with three people that I, until very recently, had sour grapes with all showed me this.  EVERY one of them had a perception that was not really reality.  It wasn't until we brought it to the light though that we each were able to see it that way; our relationship in the light of truth.

Both of these guys remind me that it is ok to mess up.  We all mess up.  The key thing is to learn from our mistakes so as not to continually belittle the grace we are given.

....

On a related note, I'm learning to apply grace to calling...

Right now, I'm pursuing possibly going to grad school for an MBA.  What has been hard about this for me has been what I call my "internal cop" barking in my ear.  Since being a christian, I've had a lot of people almost impose a feeling of boundness on me wherein many I've met have made it seem like I'm "supposed to be" this amazing pastor/speaker type.  While I have giftings with that and feel an honest sense of enjoyment being in front of people, I began to feel that, at least for right now, this is not where my life should be.  In looking at where life has led me, I feel that pursuing an MBA could be a very good thing for me and open a lot of doors.  Yet, maybe because it doesn't seem "spiritual" enough, I've had a bit of second-guessing going on. 

The hesitancy, as I've been praying about it and asking God to reveal the core of my fear to me, revolves around more a false sense of works-based salvation than anything I'm seeing.  I feel that, because God has done so much, I'm almost obligated to be some sort of pastor/minister.  Yet, I'm rather distrustful of organized religion (as was C.S. Lewis, as was even Charles Spurgeon, and many other great men of God of the last 100 years).  I've always seen that my gifting is telling people who Jesus is, what he has done, and what he can do; in short, the evangelist.  While I understand the neccessity of church, I've often felt a confined, cramped feeling within the institution of church. 

What my job has shown me is my ability to lead people, to influence people, and an honest gifting to be able to talk about spiritual things with almost anyone and have them open up to me (after I meet their needs serving them)...

As I began to look at all of this, I thought it would be a good step to pursue what I'm pursuing.  Again, I'm not totally sure where the road goes but, at minimum, I feel it is a good next step.

I need to give myself a lot more grace I'm learning.  Deep down, I think we all do.  Yet we should not abuse it as Paul writes, which I'm understanding more as well.  Again though, I think most christians are far too hard on themselves. 

I'm so thankful for such friends as Bryan and Jeremy.  I wish that you all can find people in your life that can help you laugh at your insecurities, your mess-up's (the honest mistake variety I mean)...They are very good to have around :)

Peace all,

Mike

11:32 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Late-night phone calls...

So I'm having one of my "I can't fall asleep nights" again on Tuesday.  Suddenly, 10:30 rolls around and my phone rings and it's Garrett...hmmm....10:30, Tuesday night, former roommate and good bud...'Eh, what the heck?'...So I picked up.

Great conversation :)  We talked about a bunch of cool things but there was this one point I was talking to him about contentment and he tells me this story...

Garrett:  There was this girl I worked with at Cousin's.  I was like, 19, she was about 15.  She hated life!  Believed that everyone she knew in her town was phony, fake, and a jerk.  Yet she loved Kentucky.  She would constantly talk about the people there, how great it was there, and how she couldn't wait to be there.  I asked her if that would really make a difference though.  She didn't know what I meant and then I asked her "is it so much the people there or here or is it your way of viewing things and these people?"

me:  Happiness isn't in a place.

Garrett:  She couldn't get that.

To be honest, I think I'm just now starting to understand what it is to be happy.

Lately, I've been hanging around a group of long-time buddies.  They kind of remind me of Timone and Pumba from The Lion King...I'm sort of like Simba; restless, believes he's meant for something huge, yet seems kind of frustrated with life.  Now, as in that movie, those guys after awhile start making Simba get fat and lazy and pull him away from his true calling (to be the true king to his pride) but, initially, they were very good for him.  They got him to say "Ha-kuna-ma-tada!" and not worry so much...

These guys have been kind of teaching me to say "Ha-kuna-ma-tada!" towards my life...and it's good man :)

I've always admired Paul in Philippians 4 where he says he's "learned to be content in all things."  My whole time as a believer, I've focused on "in all things" and, until the recent words of a newly made author friend, never looked at "I have learned to be."  In other words, it took time, patience, and probably a great deal of discipline.

Lately, I've been looking at life and not having as restless of a feeling as I normally have.  It's still kind of there but it seems like something else is taking a firmer grasp that is much more at peace.

In study this week, one of the guys comments on how in the last few months he's seen me be "much more alive."  That really meant a lot to me as it made me see that, apparently, this isn't some figment of my imagination.  Apparently, this is making it's way to the surface of me.

And you know what?  I honestly do have a pretty good life :) 

I have a job that I really am thankful for.  I am seeing a lot of potential within it now, doing really well, have a great relationship with my boss, and am seeing rewards for my efforts at really trying to be more other-centered...

I have a group of tight friends that, while I do not have the volume of friends I once had, are true brothers.  In that too, I've been thankful for some sisters lately as well that God has in my life who really encourage me.  I've taken on a new attitude towards a lot of the young married folk at my church too, not despising and loathing in my singleness, feeling utter dread around these lovely young people, but really just sharing in it with them; the laughter, the joys, and, in all honesty, their worries.  I'm seeing within my church as well some budding relationships with the guys in my group.  I'm seeing my gift of voice, of articulating things people want to say, and my ability to be encouragingly transparent (versus violatingly so), through them.

I have a strong and healthy body.  Admittedly, I'm not in the shape I'd like to be in but I'm doing well.  My knee is strong, I'm running again, and I'm probably going to get back into karate as I utterly LOVED my time in the dojo and seeing what it did in all areas of my life.

I'm learning about music, playing the piano (which is helping me with guitar too), and really loving that...

Potentially, I may be going to grad school in the fall and I'm already seeing cool things with that.  I was REALLY worried about the talk I had to have with my boss this week about it but he was totally on-board with writing a letter of recommendation.  More and more, I'm so thankful that God has placed me where I'm at, both for the opportunities for advancement within this business as well as the sheer volume of what I learn from Dan, both about business and life.

I have this INCREDIBLE mentor figure in Dan Parman.  The man seems so different than me yet I'm feeling myself become more and more disciplined under his watch.  I loved my time of discipleship with Erick Lettner but, like me, we're both too much the dreamer type.  Great for ideas and energy, poor for execution.  Dan is just the opposite.  The man's favorite show is "Monk" and he practically is that lol!  I am finding I am a lot more focused lately and I think a lot of that is Dan's very wise and, despite his "oh I'm not competent to talk about this other stuff" line he gives, what I feel is a very purposeful directing of my thought life.  Beyond that, telling me that I'm one of the best goal-setters he's ever worked with totally shocked me but in a good way...This really amazing guy with a life full of fruit telling me that "you're doing alright kid" means a lot.

Best of all, I'm laughing again :)  I'm leaving messages on people's phones that are just plain ridiculous but for once, I'm not this ultra-moody deep guy.  Quoting movies in some random funny way...doing silly voices again...

It feels good to look at life as full...I'm starting to believe this is the secret to contentment; thankfulness.  I am very thankful lately...

Thanks all!

6:33 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Don't Give Up

I utterly love this song...listen to it sometime...lyrics below

Don't Give Up (Peter Gabriel)

In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
Ive changed my face, Ive changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose

Dont give up
cos you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not beaten yet
Dont give up
I know you can make it good

Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that would be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up
We dont need much of anything
Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place
Where we belong

Rest your head
You worry too much
Its going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Dont give up
Please dont give up

got to walk out of here
I cant take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That rivers flowing
That rivers flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

Dont give up
cause you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not the only one
Dont give up
No reason to be ashamed
Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up now
Were proud of who you are
Dont give up
You know its never been easy
Dont give up
cause I believe theres a place
Theres a place where we belong

11:57 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

No

II Cor 12: 7-9

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Mark 5: 18-19
18As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. 19Jesus did not let him, but said, "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."

One man praying for deliverance, another to take part in serving alongside his new King...Both told no.

God's no, on the surface, can seem very unjust to us. In my most unguarded moments, it is in this arena that I question God's goodness the most. Yet we see with both that God knows best.

With Paul, the weakness that he had forced him to rely on God, never becoming conceited with his abilities, his unique access to the heart of God, and constantly hitting his knees to find strength rather than like what he saw in the mirror or heard from other people.

The demon-possessed man has hit me on a lot of levels lately. In his sheer thankfulness, he wants to follow after the man who freed him to wherever he goes. Yet Jesus, knowing his true calling, tells him no, "stay with your family" because that was where he knew this man would shine. On the surface, disappointment, rejection, you name it. Underneath though, God is setting the stage for the truest desires of this man's heart, to proclaim that Jesus is the Messiah and have peoples lives changed, to be lived out--if he obeys.

God's no is often his mercy I am learning.

I've often seen where life took an abrupt shift for me right as I was about to walk down a certain road. Often, God has used some HUGE thorns for me with major injuries. In high school, a severe stress fracture in my shin that caused me to not pursue a career I was starting to enter in that, deep down, I was looking into because my family wanted me to. A few years later a foot injury occurs wherein I am left with pretty much one viable option at the start of my summer; go on a stateside mission trip. I planned on working a ton to save up more money for a school I was about to transfer to and then that plan got foibled by my foot breaking. In March of 2005, I tear my ACL in a freak ski accident and this forced me to stay in Milwaukee rather than go to a seminary I was looking into for their counseling program.

Each major thorn I now believe was God slowing me down so that I could experience better things. Often with me, I will keep running, keep being restless, keep being Martha, and not just listen to God and abide in that place....So he effectively cripples me lol!, every time, so that I'm forced to slow down...

It's funny I'm seeing this theme now, God's mercy through his no, as I am about to embark on a time of knocking on some different doors regarding my future. It's almost as though I can sense surprise coming yet, as is the nature of surprise, I have no freakin' clue where the road turns...

All I know is that I have to knock...Yet I also am learning that God's love often manifests itself through his no, seen often through the no's of the people who can open or shut doors for us.

____________
If perfect love casts out fear, than does fear cast out perfect love?...

Another kind of separate thought from what I wrote above that has come from I John 4...I've always loved verses 13-20 and probably quote this scripture more than any other...This is the first time I've looked at it from this angle though; the inverse possibly being true.

I've realized I will almost never have a completely "pure" motive in almost anything I do...I believe that I can look at my heart though and answer whether or not the 50-50 line is crossed more to me being loving or me being selfish...

It's so hard to walk away when you could have it all
We could have it all...

some lines from a song I'm working on...

I am standing at the door of possibilities and in that, there lies the potential for great ecstasy and great disappointment...Yet, again, I've learned that God is good, often seen most through his no and the doors that don't open. I'm also hoping to move as much with love as my guide as I can, rather than selfish, vain motives...

Yup, and my piano coach has told me I have a really strong sense of rhythm...That made me feel quite good as I am very much a white-person (in case anyone reading this was wondering). I wanted to end this on a poppy note lol :)

Proof Postive That White Boys Can Have Soul,

1:48 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Grace and lists...

I recently had a conversation with my friend Amy wherein something kind of surprising came up. She got to talking about guys (as she tends to lol) and told me that she firmly believes that God will provide her "exactly what she is looking for" and encourage me to believe the same and "make a list."

I'm going to flat-out say it...I've noticed this TREMENDOUSLY POPULAR thing within christendom of list-making for the future spouse...Some of my thoughts...

It is not a bad thing to know what you want; that is actually a very good thing. But what I'm seeing more so as the heart of a lot of people who do this list thing is their desire to have a fail-safe. In short, they want to know that they are guaranteed some degree of comfort (more so a lack of pain) by believing that their future whatever is everything they picture (an ideal...hence why i see this more from women as women are more prone to this romantic fantasy than guys).

I actually dated a girl for a brief while who was into this "factory-specific" type view of a potential spouse...I'm now VERY glad we have broken up as God has shown me much as to why that relationship never would have worked...

So why am I sort of against the undertone of this whole list thing?...Let me explain...

I think that what distinguishes Christianity from every religion in the world is the concept of grace...This idea of giving someone something that they don't deserve (grace) and, on a similar level, the idea of mercy (withholding what they do deserve).

God seeks us; we never seek him. It is against our nature to do so which is why he bridges heaven and earth for us; to win and woo us back, not the other way around. EVERY religion in the world is built on this idea of man somehow reaching God by his own accord with the EXCEPTION of christianity.

Yet, while grace is the door that brings us to our knees, allowing us to repent, it's so easy to forget about it after we get saved....Take a couple of shots in life, a couple of heartbreaks, or even just hear about someone else's and all of a sudden, we get nervous...edgy. We really start to wonder about this Jesus and what he has in store for us.
Some days, it looks rather crazy. Other days, he seems out and outright opposed to our hearts.

All of a sudden, the world of formula enters around that time. Take your pick; legalistic doctrine, sermons all built on the notion of "how to" wherein the bible becomes effectively a 2000 year-old self-help book rather than the love letter it was meant to be, or, as is so prevalent to my generation, this idea of God giving us everything we want if we only ask.

I believe that, as a christian, I am bought by the blood of Jesus. I am ransomed and restored by his sacrifice and my willingness to admit that I can not appease God apart from Christ's redemptive death and resurrection...On my own, I deserve NOTHING. NOTHING! Nothing but sin and death. "But God so loved the world" that he gave us a second chance...Not a second chance to live selfishly but to give love, to give grace, to the people that we encounter daily, that reflects what he first gave to us.

In that, I believe it is important to realize that people are really messed up. I appreciate the group of friends I do have who accept me, flaws and all, rather than trying to cookie-cut me into this perfect person. Ultimately, that is God's work and mine to partake in anyway.

More and more, I want to live a life where I release people from this expectation of what they ought to be and simply love what IS there. To be honest, that is all I see Jesus doing; with the leper, the prostitute, etc. He never goes soft on sin but he loves the person...

Relating this back to dating and "list-making" if anyone reading this can honestly say to themselves that their list is not built out of fear but an honest knowing of what you "need" (and, again, I really encourage you to think of what you need as I believe that we are often far too "needy" and confuse needs with desires), than I applaud you. Believe on God and hope for the best in this arena of your life However, if you are reading this and anything I've said about fear and grace has hit you, I really encourage you to examine your heart on this matter...I think we are all afraid of being hurt but it's much easier and more freeing to focus on what we can give people rather than pining and constantly and frantically looking for this ideal, ultimately built on what we can get...

The only place we find love, fulfillment, contentment, etc. is in the embrace of Jesus...Rest in that and offer that to people...SERVE them. Encourage them. Love them. And do all of this with no strings attached.

More and more, i want to focus on becoming the man of God that I would want my hypothetical daughter to marry rather than focus on this depiction of Eve that lingers in my mind...

Talk amongst yourselves lol (Joan Rivers/Mike Myers SNL voice there)!

Peace all

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Check out this video: fanny pack the movie: the fanny mac

fanny pack the movie: the fanny mac



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Stupid things that I find funny...for those of you who even remember when fanny pack's were the rage, you will probably get a laugh out of this...kind of bizarre but, hey, it made me laugh...ENJOY!

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Strengths Finder test results...interesting stuff...

As I am not one to believe in coincidence, when I have two people recommend the same book to me, I am all too eager to jump on their words...

So, after hearing from both Danny Parmelee, the pastor of my church, and Erick Lettner, long-time friend and Campus Crusade for Christ staff member, that I should read a book by Marcus Buckingham titled "Now Discover Your Strengths," I decided there must be something to this particular recommendation.

The premise of the book is, in my view, pulled straight out of a scriptural principle.  Buckingham writes how so many companies are run in such a way as to put people in places where, rather than accentuate their strengths, they are being forced to focus on and minimize their weakness', ultimately causing frustration and ineffectiveness on both ends.  His idea is that the key to having people perform well, and in that be confident, happy, etc., is to put them where their strengths shine best based on their personality.  In short, you may have two people performing the same job but you treat them each different as each needs to be based on their particular bend.

"Train a child in the way he is to go and he will never depart from your ways."--Proverbs...

This verse fascinates me still as I see so many things come out of it in application.  Parenting being the obvious one so I'll start there and relate it back to the book I'm reading.  I've seen so many kids pushed into being something they are not meant to do.  I remember a kid I played football with (he actually gave me a concussion lol!) who HATED football, only playing because his father demanded he do so...I would call that bondage.  Yet we all do it at times.  I've done it.

Living a life that fits the expectations of what those around me would have of me rather than live my life according to the desires in my heart combined with the giftings and opportunities that I am given...

In this book, Buckingham seeks to help people find their bend (even if he doesn't call it that).  A part of that is a very comprehensive test that you take online where your top five strengths are discovered...

Mine are as follows

1.)  Communication

Lol, as this was my major, it encouraged me to know that I either learned something or enhanced what I already had--or both--during my time in undergrad!

2.)  Ideation (basically, I'm an ideas guy...creative in all aspects)

3.)  Empathy

This really moved me and surprised me on some level...I've always wanted to be a person known for his empathy but I've always thought me rather self-absorbed to be that.  Yet lately, I've had a lot of people comment on my "improved listening" and this I am very thankful for...I still want to improve though...)

4.)  Woo

In short, I'm very romantic and good with the ladies lol...YEAH, and then I woke up...Anyway, kind of a weird title but essentially I am a people-person and a "wins you over" type personality.  I found this interesting too as my boss Dan made a really captivating comment, telling me a few weeks ago that "Mike Schuttke is an acquired taste."  At first, I'm kind of like "What the heck?!" but then I began to see what he means.  Most people get drawn in quickly to me but, almost as quickly, find something rather repulsive that pushes them away.  Yet, over time, there is something that pulls them in/back, and a great relationship develops often out of it...All of my closest friends, I have seen this play out with.

5.)  Input

I have an inquisitive nature and love to question things.  I think a lot of people have wrongly interpretted that as me being negative when, in reality, I am just wanting to really look at something from all angles.  A HUGELY formative exercise in this came in high school, being told to sketch something from a few different angles.  I held the pictures up and, at first glance, they looked different.  But then, when you combined this one with this one and then looked at this feature on the third drawing, you saw that you were viewing the same object...That really hit me and it kind of taught me to both look at things and try my best to see things from a lot of viewpoints...I've applied this to faith, politics, relationships, etc...You may not agree with the other side but it's important to listen.  Odds are, they are doing what they are doing, believing what they are believing, etc. because it honestly seems like the best way to them.

All in all, a very good experience in taking this test as it affirmed many things and encouraged me as well.

I am learning to evaluate my life not from a comparitive standpoint any longer but rather focus solely on my reality.  In that, the last month or so has seen a lot of revisiting the terrain of my heart, my dreams, and comparing that to my reality.  While a few of the things I long for are out of my control, I am doing my hardest to focus on what is in front of me to take hold of and to steward.  I believe God gives all of us talents and bends to move these talents in.  I have sensed a great empowerment lately as I've become so much more focused the last few weeks, even in the midst of some troubles.

I encourage all of you, both in your words and actions towards others, to focus not on what God isn't doing but what God is doing.  GET ALONGSIDE THAT and encourage others to do the same!  God's work, the movement of His hands, is already blessed.  Unlike ours, he is never frantically grasping from one thing to the next, for he holds all of time in his hands...Relating that to our lives as people, it's so easy to get wrapped up in the empty space in the glass.  For me, I have to purposefully deny myself this aspect of who I am as it most often dips from healthy awareness into deep and oftentimes selfish thoughts about what I lack...Tying this into other people, we can focus on what we may want from them or we can focus on what to give them.

Focus on who you are, NOT on who you are not.

Focus on who someone else is, not what they are not.

Focus on what someone else wants and how you can best serve them rather than on what you want and how they can please you...This one has been of HUGE impact for me lately as it is so contrary to what I've often wanted to do with certain people, conversations, etc.

So yeah, that's all I got...

Today I get my keyboard and I'm very excited about that :)

Peace

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God's laughter...

Hey all,

First off, happy New Year to all of you! I wish you the best year of your life in 2007. Beauty, pain, joy, sorrow, but love in all things...

Anyway, this weekend was awesome! I had the pleasure to watch two of my friends, Michael and Rhonda Dick, wed each other. The service was moving, held at Michael's church where a full gospel choir sang a few songs. I've always loved black gospel churches and the music is something that takes me to a place of pure joy; the clapping, the singing, just the pure celebration in the air. You know that Jesus is alive and that changes everthing :) But yeah, then we went to the War Memorial for the reception.

A thought came to me that night as i watched a bunch of little girls dancing before the main dance started. Watching these little ladies twirl around showed me, once again, the heart of Eve written on all women; adore me. These little kids were far too young to be taught, conditioned if you will, to do what they were doing. They just delighted in being beautiful :) And they were just that. Watching them, it showed me how it is written on the heart of all women that they want to be seen, adored, but not just for a physical beauty. Something deeper, that comes from the core of their being; they want to know that they, their very person, is beautiful. These kids had no element of seduction to what they were doing because sex means nothing to them at their age...But they knew though that they are meant to shine, to be seen, and to be beautiful. Those kids taught me something, perhaps more so reaffirmed things I already believed, and it was good.

Dancing with Michael and Rhonda (see my photos), I couldn't help but admire how they had conducted their relationship. Seeing their church host the wedding was truly a community event. A lot of people were involved in this courtship and that is a cool thing. I always find it weird to get a wedding invitation from people I had no idea they were even dating, let alone about to marry! Yet, watching Mike and Rhonda stand at the altar, it reminded me of the sheer beauty of submitting yourself, your will in some ways, to the authority of your community, inviting them in to have a say in the relationship rather than isolate. And THAT was what made it so cool...We had all gotten to watch them grow in their love and share in it with them.

More and more, I see that the heart of the Gospel is about relationships. At its core, God's heart is to own our heart. Every little crevice, every deep place within us. He is a jealous God who longs to lead us into a life of abundance. Contrary to many, it is not simply merely about saving your soul from sin. It is far deeper than that. Repentance is the narrow door that we all must go through, humbly, on our knees, in order to come to know God--yes, this is true. That is not the point though. The point is to get us living in what lies beyond it; a life-giving relationship with Jesus.

We are no longer remembered for what we were, who we were. We are not called to worry about the future, but to live in the present, loving people and living life. I've been asking God to make me a more joyful person who isn't so "deep" and always wanting to dig deeper. I falsely correlate this to being goofy but, more than goofy, I just want to rest in God's laughter if that makes any sense.

I love the imagery of this in Zephaniah...
14 Sing, O Daughter of Zion;
shout aloud, O Israel!
Be glad and rejoice with all your heart,
O Daughter of Jerusalem!

17 The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Rejoice over us with singing...I just picture God over all of us, literally spinning and dancing like what I did and, more so, how those little girls danced at the wedding.

THAT is the God we worship! One who rejoices over his people and is jealous for them, longs for them, fights for them, dies for them, resurrects for them, and, above all else, loves them.

9:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment