wtf mate?

9:17 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

My Celebrity Look-alikes

2:04 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

encore

today i felt overwhelmed by feelings of lugubriousness and apprehension... woke up on the wrong side of the bed, if you will.

to my dismay, not even the powerful remedies of premium vanilla toffee crunch ice cream nor chocolate covered cherries from trader joe's could alleviate my unease.

once i realized that a belly stuffed with refined sugars and artery clogging fats wasn't going to improve my mood, i then tried distracting myself with some busy work. 

i decided to assemble a cubicle shelving storage thingie i bought from target (which by the way, took the entire evening because i am retarded).  

after i thought i was finished, there were like 14 extra nails and some plastic/wooden bits left that probably should have served some purpose (you know, since they came with the product).  but because i couldn't find any more holes, i left it at that.  currently it's still standing and i'm just going to hope for the best.

so anyway, no more trips are planned for me right now.  after being ecstatically unemployed for 5 months, the undesirable need to reverse the damage done to my bank account is only growing stronger. 

this means pressure to jump back into the rat race and getting a job to replenish my funds.  unfortunately, no epiphanies struck during my time off to provide any good direction.

all i really want to do is add on to the following list of destinations accrued so far in 2007, however close to, or distant from, home.  

1. stanford, CA



2. oahu, hawaii



3. san francisco, CA



4. australia



5. charlotte, NC



6. cleveland, OH







7. china



8. san diego, CA



i suppose all good things must come to an end, and endings mean new beginnings...

but i'm still cheering hard for an encore.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

... and encore there was!

9.  spain (madrid, toledo, escorial, cadaques, barcelona, montserrat)

10. london, england

2:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

my 2nd famous person encounter ever

the other night, a few buddies and i hit the bars for some drinks.

one of my friends spotted a fellow she thought was quite dashing and delectable, though no action was taken because he was already with a chick.

however, when we were about to head home, she followed the path of least resistance and boldly grabbed his butt with gusto. as he looked back with surprise, my pal declared, "i'm sorry, i just HAD to do that…" with a sly smile before turning away towards the exit.

this guy was clearly pleased by my friend's purposely lewd gesture, because he responded by pulling her into him and smoothly remarking, "well at least tell me your name."

that started a brief bonding session between them that included smiling, hugging and whispering into each other's ears.

after that episode, he proved to be a polite gentleman and introduced himself to the group. turning towards me, he shook my hand and told me that i had a really pretty smile.

brownie points for this man with arms of steel.

anyway, i was completely unaware at the time that this man with arms of steel was shemar moore, an emmy award winning actor and former fashion model.

my ass-grabbing pal knew all along, but didn't mention it until we were recounting details of the fun evening the next day. shemar was a host in soul train for several years and had a part in the CBS drama "criminal minds," the soap "the young and the restless," and the movie "diary of a mad black woman" (just to name a few).  i loved "diary of a mad black woman" - very inspirational and empowering.

i had thought he looked familiar.

not only that, apparently he has an "ass so fine that it makes your eyes roll to the back of your head when touched" according to my friend.

in conclusion, please see a shirtless shemar below (this blog would not be complete without a revealing, artsy photo of this fine specimen):

12:01 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

gotta love the bitch

my dad is the coolest. he tells me the best stories and that it's okay to be gassy.

this is my dad being uber-cool:



he came all the way from ohio to southern california for my cousin emily's wedding this past weekend.

this is my cousin emily getting married in san diego (which of course, was discovered in 1904 by the germans and means a "whale's vagina" in german according to the anchorman ron burgundy):



here's another beautiful moment captured at this family get-together (my brother howie smooching out some love for loraly):



perhaps not as beautifully, but fun indeed, my uber-awesome pops and i performed our own version of a father-daughter dance:

the wedding was as wonderful as i expected. i even cried like a baby when emily waltzed with her pappy on the dance floor... she's really all growed up. *sniff*

i remember the days when emily, my other cousin tiffy and i would choreograph sweet moves to chinese pop songs and discuss our future as the hottest pop trio ever to hit taiwan.

i suppose it's no longer a possibility.

...now that my dreams are shattered, what am i going to do with my life?? 

hmm. anyway, moving along...

today my dad said, "let's go find the bitch!"

and i paused, thinking, "huh? who? what bitch? ...OH, you mean the BEACH."

my pops absolutely loves the water, and it's been several years since he's seen the ocean.

to ensure that we had enough energy, we fueled up with breakfast at the potholder cafe (YUM!) before visiting the bitch my dad missed so much:



it's been great fun.  tonight he suggested that we stuff our bellies early tomorrow morning at potholder cafe once more.

my dad really is the coolest.

3:04 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

locked out

today my roomie and i were trapped outside.  and i was hungry. 

the lock on our front door was broken - our house key would just spin round and round freely once inserted.

to our dismay, the apartment manager was nowhere to be found, and our cellphones, money, and car keys were inside the apartment.

luckily, we came across a good samaritan neighbor who helped us reach the property's emergency maintenance man by phone.

unluckily, the so-called emergency maintenance man was far far away somewhere.

i asked if he could help us call a locksmith, and this is what he said:

"oh, you don't need a locksmith.  is there a man nearby?  just have a man pull on the door handle really hard... give it a couple good yanks and it should just open."

 uhhh.  hmm.  thaaanks.

so what's the lock for again? 

and he's basically saying girls are too weak for the job and can't break into people's homes like men can.  humpf.

well, we couldn't find a man, and my hands hurt from the repeated yanking of the door handle.  i lose.  

not only that, all that physical effort made me more famished. 

so we ended up procuring our own locksmith and forking out $65 for entry into our home. 

he was a man.  but instead of his bare hands, he used big tools to crack the lock.

...and then i was finally able to stuff my face   

11:32 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

pooped.

the past few weeks have gotten me all tuckered out. 

oh how i love my sweet sweet bed, that is now nestled into my new room at my new apartment in my new neighborhood.   

moving into a bitty and modest place (...i'd like to think cozy and intimate haven) has really highlighted the fact that i have a huge surplus of crap i don't need, use, or even like.    

siigh... i'm such a wasteful being. 

lucky for me, the existence of recycling do-gooder entities like goodwill allows me to redeem myself.  after all, someone else in the world could be incurring great amounts of happiness playing with my mini-ping pong ball set that's been collecting dust for two years, or be stylin' with a flared fuchsia bell-sleeved sweater that i bought in high school. 

anyway, i've been back from china for a whole week already.  i feel like i have to say something about it, so here are some things that pop up in my head right now:

- while sitting in a taxi inhaling noxious bus fumes in congested traffic, i got to see a guy chase down a pickpocket and beat him silly on the street in broad daylight.  our taxi driver cheered him on.  the pick pocketer was kind of fat and slow.  if you choose to become a pickpocket for a living, make sure you get in shape so you can outrun your victims.

- shanghai taxi drivers are crazy and honk as often as they blink.  for example, there was one cabby that beeped his horn 4-5 long times while we cruised down an empty street with empty sidewalks.  couldn't figure out why for the life of me.  perhaps he wanted to warn a bird in a nearby tree so that it wouldn't fly directly into his windshield. 

-  i was exposed to a ginormous penis-shaped rock on huangshan (yellow mountain).  it was even excitedly pointing up at a very realistic angle and i was wholeheartedly amused (i took pictures with it of course)... i've never seen one that big before...

- i still don't know which direction you are supposed to face when peeing in a squat toilet.  front or back?  is there even standard etiquette for that?

- many chinese salespeople in retail follow the "aggressive vulture no concept of personal space with product bombardment" strategy.  i can feel them breathing down my neck while they pick up every single item and present it to me as if couldn't see it from more than one foot away.

- apparently, i've discovered that a full body massage in china for women includes the tummy, inner thighs, butt, AND boobs.  at this particular business, the massage therapists had to LIVE at their workplace and the owners locked the building at night to not let anything/anybody in/out.  the workers take 12 hour shifts on average and were only given 1-2 hours of personal time to venture outside each day.  the nice girl that massaged me had left her family and home village to make money in shanghai.  this made me sad.

- while in line for a cab at the domestic airport after coming back to shanghai from xiamen, i bumped into tom kauffman, a friend from high school and college.  not only did he and his girlfriend visit xiamen the same time as me, they stayed at the same hotel, and then took the same flight home.  crazy coincidences in this small world, no? 

it was a fabulously fun trip indeed and great to see my dear sherryberry, but i was delighted to return to the US.  Home has really spoiled me with all of its comforts and conveniences.

of course, i took way too many pictures again... and here they are:

http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=157662042/a=6891383_6891383/t_=6891383

 zai jian!

- chu wen pei

9:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

to the motherland i go

tomorrow i'm off to china, the most populated country in the world where paper, ice cream and explosive powder were supposedly invented. 

it is also where peaceful falun gong practitioners are routinely executed and have their organs sold on the black market (http://en.epochtimes.com/news/6-4-24/40788.html) ...there is much scariness in this world.  

but i still want to see it.  the world that is, not necessarily the scariness.

i just realized that this will be the very first time i fly overseas by my lonesome and there will be nobody to welcome/pick me up at the airport.

the 2-week adventure awaits.

9:12 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i'm a fan of this dictionary

8:53 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

omnivorous lama

it's rainy, gray and cold outside.  i'm at my parent's house in medina, ohio, and i'm feeling so lazy that i can't even muster up the energy to crawl into my bed for a nap.

earlier today i lunched with a tibetan lama at a thai restaurant in fairlawn, which was so creatively named "pad thai" (we of course, ordered the pad thai at pad thai, and it was good). 

please note that when i say "lama," i am referring to a buddhist master from tibet, and not the similarly spelled "llama," which is a domesticated, woolly-haired south american beast of the genus lama. 

also in our presence was my mother, a devout buddhist, and her friend, ling ling. 

i like ling ling.  she is super nice, owns a huge chinese buffet restaurant with her husband, and has a glass eyeball.

ling ling sought solace in buddhism after two disgruntled ex-employees searching for money broke into her luxury home, tied her up, and vengefully released their wrath on her petite and delicate frame.  

despite ling ling's constantly pleasant and smiling demeanor, i am reminded of this horrible story whenever i peer into that glassy and motionless orb.

tomorrow, ling ling is taking the lama to see china for 3 weeks.  i will also be in china soon, but for 2 weeks.

more interestingly, i was surprised that the lama ate meat during lunch, specifically lamb and beef.  in fact, he hardly touched the vegetarian pad thai, eggplant and tofu dishes.  i had always assumed that all buddhist monks were vegetarian, given the teachings of compassion and sensitivity to the lives of all creatures.  but apparently this isn't the case, so i'm curious to hear the rationale.

...should have asked the guy. 

1:35 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment