Well I just bought my piece of the million dollar dream called the lottery. For the next two days I will imagine the life of luxury I would lead. First thing, buy a stainless steel barbecue. Sure it sounds corny; but I would build the coolest man patio first, suitable for the kings. Secondly, do all that good stuff like get out of debt, take care of family, and what not, all that is pretty much given; but my man patio would be the best. Till than, here are some thoughts. With the upcoming election and anniversary of 9/11 I've been remembering and contemplating.
September 11, 2001 is the only time in my life that I can identify with millions of people. Older generations remember where they were when JFK was shot and others can tell you where they were when they found out Elvis and John Lennon died; but September 11, 2001 is mine. At the time I was stationed aboard the USS Constellation. Our deployment was coming to an end and several of us opted to fly out of Hawaii to avoid Tiger Cruise. A Tiger Cruise is when a ship is at the end of deployment, stops somewhere (ours was Hawaii) and picks up friends and family (at a cost) to experience life on a US Navy Aircraft Carrier for a week on the way to its home port. This is perhaps the longest week in a sailors life because if you're not watching the person you brought, you're watching out for others who have no idea about shipboard life. Especially for a lot of the kids that come, they become bored and disgruntled after the first day. Usually there are a lot of events scheduled to entertain everyone; but either way, it's a long ass week. So we opted to fly out of Hawaii a week early and go home. We arrived September 8, 2001. I arrived to a two week old baby and had to help move into new military housing. Life seemed grand at that time. Still with no cable and getting use to being a father I would lie on the floor with my son and look at him. Occasionally I would turn on the TV to see what channels we could get, everything was from antenna at the time. That morning in Lakeside , California I turned on my fuzzy channel TV just to get a glimpse of the news. I saw bylines scrolling underneath and what I thought was old footage of the Towers being hit. Since I had crappy reception I thought they were reflecting on the previous attacks, than when I changed the channel the retrospection turned into reality. The Towers were on every channel. This couldn't be a coincidence. I called my wife over, who watched in awe life I did. How could this be happening? What should I do? Especially since my ship was on its way over, I had no fucking clue. She cried considerably, especially for the fact that we just brought new life into this mixed up world. And I could do was console. Later I would receive several e-mails from my LPO (that's like your boss to civilians) telling me he doesn't know what's going on and to just stand by my phone. This went on for the first day or so than the ship went into communication silence, which is standard practice. Loose lips, sink ships. Eventually the ship pulled back into it's home port under the cover of early morn. No band, no bells and whistles, no greetings of lovers. It pulled in and stayed on standby for quite awhile. I finished my leave and when I returned it took me 2 hours to get to work, which would have normally been half an hour. Life would no longer be the same. Before this civilians were welcomed onto the bases, welcomed to go to e-clubs and mingle; but now you have to have an escort and don't leave their side. My plane trip over was my first and they didn't check my shoes, now I make sure to use foot powder cause I don't wanna gross anyone out. America will never be the same.
Three years later there was a fictional Disney movie based on these events called Tiger Cruise, it gives me a chuckle.
Watching these debates and arguments, everyone says they'll be our protector. I think the fact of the matter is we just need to look out more for each other. People were surprised when we were attacked; but we've always had enemies. Newsflash, not everyone loves us over here. There is not one great answer and there will be no one great President, the fact is; we just need to watch out more for each other. White, black, brown, yellow, that's why I love this place and it's just not America but Earth. If you've been overseas or just visit a neighboring country you'll find beautiful people and things no matter where you go. These things I know. So as I sit here and pretend to be a millionaire for the next two days, where were you when that fatal day happen and what did it make you think?
It's been a hot day, but today I feel cool. The sun was shining extra hard on me today, as I cleaned the pool. God's magnifying glass felt pretty good today.
80 degrees with no breeze, you could feel the humidity. Turned off the air conditioner, and opened all the windows. At one with nature for a minute.
It's hot today, but today I feel cool. A little jazz, a little reggae. A little wine, a little weed, I could stay like this all day.
Worrying about money everyday, for different reasons, from day to day.
Spent all day watching children laugh and play. I watch my children laugh and play. You could call me a bad parent, but the proof is in the pudding, when I see them smile.
It's hot right now, with 80 percent humidity, but today I feel cool.
At this moment the rain is coming down, and the heat is going out. I can't afford anything, But right now, I feel cool.
I believe in the random and on purpose, all at the same time. Right now, I am cool.
Simplicity left me today, When I found out you liked me. Complicated everything in my head already, I tend to do that.
Love is arbitrary. Something we all seek but can not see. That thing given when we didn't know we missed.
Love is a stranger saying hello, and an old friend stopping by.
Love is something we miss after the fact.
There are 2 people at my work, misfits if you will, slightly awkward. Not successful, Not beautiful, Or perhaps maybe they are, Cause they found each other.
I've mistaken lust for love and ended up married. Mistaken love for lust, and ended up learning.
You are where you want to be, No one else can make that choice for you. Some days are just less fun, but you'll be OK, just look around. Even in the insane asylum you're not alone, hug an inmate. As you read this I'm hugging you with my mind.
Her hair was as red as a strawberry margarita and we drank 'till we were blind. It was one of the few times I said "I love you" to a woman, and meant it.
It hurt to say goodbye.
She wanted me to runaway to Costa Rica with her. But the thing in my pants is not stronger than the thing in my head.
Some things, some ones, I love more than others.
The next one I met on Craigslist, Under NSA ( No strings attached)
She sucked my dick and called me daddy, that creeped me out at first, but I got over it, than she turned me on.
Who's your inner freak?
Somethings we should regret, but those 2, and perhaps 3, I'll never forget.
Mental madness
Today I saw a pig fly, I wonder now if I can fuck that prom queen. Has hell frozen over yet? Cause that's when she swore we'd go out.
Today I saw a pig fly, I think his name was Charlie. I'm gonna see where he lands, Pigs don't know how to land, And I really like bacon.
Today I saw a pig fly, and he tasted good.
Typically
I can amaze you for the first five minutes. It's the rest of our lives, that's kicking my ass. This is neither good or bad.
A secret to life is, make the things you love, important to you. In descending order. Sometimes that even means, living a lie.
I love you, For everything you've shown me. I love you for all things you've done for me, And I'll never admit. I love you, For putting up with all my bullshit.
I've loved you, From that very first day, I loved you, When we thought there just wasn't any other way.
I love you, Even though I just learn to show it. I love you, Is one of the things that are hard for me to admit.
I love you, A 3 letter sentence, So close to a 4 letter word.
Even when you hate me, I love you, Tonight, tomorrow, and every day thereafter.
What Marijuana has taught me (An essay of sorts)
Category: Writing and Poetry
In the beginning, it was a seed. Than the light had shone, with some water to quench it's thirst it would grow to be a mighty stalk. Only to end up sprawled on some college students table or even some professionals desk. In the beginning, it was a seed. I was thinking of what would be the best way to present this write and I think that was it, so here we go. You may be wondering "What the hell could marijuana teach anybody?", well I'm here to tell you. Let's start with the basics shall we; Math. I now know that there are roughly 28 grams in an ounce, and 16 ounces in a pound. Now this is the macronomics. On the micro scale we break the proverbial ounce down. One half ounce equals 14 grams roughly, one quarter is 7 grams, and an eighth of an ounce is roughly 3.5 grams. Anything less is probably 20 bucks and they'll sit down and smoke your shit with you. English. No pot didn't make me literate, in fact it has had the opposite effect at times; But what it has done for me is make me seek out. Seek out information from others, seek out other's written works, and seek out knowledge. And you know what, most of that was in written word. Science. Now do I really have to get into that one? I'm talking about tetrahydrocannabinol or better known as THC. That's the thing that makes your pain go away, occasionally makes you paranoid (cause it's illegal, I believe marijuana paranoia is more of a subconscious guilt for breaking the law) and also give you what is commonly known as the munchies. Those are the basics and why commonly not all high school drop outs are complete idiots. Now for the not so basics. It has taught me the law. Did you know under an ounce of marijuana in your possession in California is a misdemeanor. And that's if you don't have a state card that just allows you to have it if you're "sick", does sick of work count? More on the law topic, when one is in a different state be sure to review that states search and seizure laws. Just cause you look like a hippie doesn't mean the police can just go through your car. Keep in mind though, if you look high or act a fool you may find yourself in the back of a patrol car. Twice have I been pulled over which resulted in me telling the cop I have pot on me. The first time I made a left turn where I shouldn't have. As I rolled down my window and the chimney smoke effect came out of my car, the officer asked if I had anything illegal. I told him I had some marijuana on me, he asked to see my bag, than my pipe (which I stuffed down my pants) . He asked if we had anything else (like meth) we kindly replied no. He took my bag, dumped it out in the grass along the curb, handed me back my pipe, and informed me I shouldn't smoke and drive - pretty crazy huh. The second time, I was on my way to a job (at the time I worked construction, actually destruction, so my work would vary from place to place). I was pulled over for a missing break light. The officer asked me the same thing and I replied in truth. Well the next thing I know a gun was drawn on me, I was sitting in the back of a patrol car, and 4 other cop cars rolled up tearing apart my car. Of course I had a small amount on me, so nothing else was found; but during the course of them tearing apart my car I was throwing a fit in the back of the cop car, not the smartest thing to do. Anyways, after several threats I was let go with a ticket. Let us not forget the social dynamic as well. Marijuana has made me think out of the cardboard box. It's not like I can make a midnight run to Wal-Mart. Especially at my age. It use to be all my friends had a way to get it, now as "adults" we are more worried about getting busted, about losing the things we've worked so hard to get, about being in the paper getting labeled as a pot head. When trying to score a bag, especially in a new city, it's like being a spy. You have to use code words and prove to certain people they can trust you. The terms pot head, stoner, etc really have no effect on me; but I think too many people associate pot head with gonna break into your house and steal your jewelry. There's also "the government isn't always right, in fact is corrupt lesson". After you've partaken in the plant, whether you're a repeat offender or not, you begin to contemplate the who's and the why's. Who benefitted from the plant being illegal? If its really so dangerous, why isn't alcohol illegal? And if the government is really looking out for the public, why go another step further and outlaw all sharp objects. More people get stabbed each year than there are just marijuana (no other substance included) accidents. Think about this for a minute, the only reason marijuana is illegal is due to the fact that the pharmaceutical companies had lobbyist. It's someone's job to sit in Washington for any given company and/or cause and to watch bills being passed and grease palms to pass bills, in the self interest of that thing. Common sense has nothing to do with the government. In the beginning, it was a seed. In the end, it is illegal.
What if you were given your death date? And I don't mean some bullshit doctor thinks you have 6 months to live. No, I mean like November 13, 2015. Pretty specific, huh?
What would you do? How would you live? What would you live for?
Stars can burn out, you know.
I've almost forgotten what life was like before kids. But that's a different story. What would you do? What would you say? What would you want to be remembered for?
Me neither I guess.
These are the things I think of when I'm high
How are you gonna know you can make it, when you already got everything you desire.
Nancy, Newman, Norbid, Nasty, Naughty, Nope, None ya, Ninja, Netherlands, Nip that one in the bud, Nookie, Nepotism, Neuron, Neo, Nora Jones, Nadda, Knew a girl named Nikki. Ever since the recent foul by Jessie Jackson there has been a lot of talk of the elusive N word on talk programs. I don't understand what all the talk is about. Of course there is a double standard; but that exists for other demeaning words as well, the N isn't so special. What everyone should be pissed about is the fact that Jessie Jackson was burying the N word about a year ago. I remember the big deal being made and thought "You can't change the world overnight; but it's always good to make steps." Up to this point I had a lot of respect for Jessie Jackson, the Rainbow Coalition, marches, and speeches of pride; but apparently he can erase all his good works by being just one of the boys. Personally, I don't understand his beef with Obama except maybe jealousy, remember when he tried for president? But I guess that's a topic for another conversation. A lot could be said, recently Hasselbeck on The View was crying and Whoopi was yelling. I think they're both wrong. Hasselbeck was over exaggerating and Whoopi hasn't been ghetto since Sister Act 2. Well with all that said it's just another day of trying to figure the world out, feel free to leave a message.
