there was a man on the platform who could be described as diminutive. he wore heavy glasses used to correct a wayward eye or perhaps to lend the look of intellect in the tradition of every genius whose intense thoughts led to macular degeneration. his hair was ill-fitting and trousers tailored for an urban ballet or the promise of trapeze on the train as further indicated by his female counterpart’s distressingly thin-soled shoes welcoming all manner of low-lying disease to penetrate the precarious layer of porous material and bathe in her blood. then again, he was diminutive, and she appeared sensitive. they ate cereal.
when it became apparent that their compass had broken, there was some relief in having made the decision to carry the branded boxes with them despite the cumbersome nature of dry goods transportation in the absence of hands free carriage. when the man in green slacks and sea faring shoes translated the words emanating from the speakers and deciphered the flashing symbols, it became clear that the plotted course was not the one best taken. in fashion show voices, they protested against invisible machinery and giggled against suffocating fear. when the train departed, they fell to their knees, rations raised in sacrificial poses, and waited for their ritual to make sense.
Jake and Trevor wrote what they feel is the greatest MySpace survey of all time. I mean, the motherfucker goes to 11.
1. Joseph Campbell once said "what each must seek in his life never was on land or sea. It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience, something that never has been and never could have been experienced by anyone else". What is your unique potentiality for experience?
2. Your position is pro. Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back" is the greatest song ever written. BEGIN! (30 words or less)
3. As the trade deficit continues its rampant growth, smaller us cities suffer economic hardships while china's once poverty stricken villages thrive. While our government remains a democracy versus the communist regime in china, which economic situation would be more desirable for a child coming into this world? Consider the ease of communist living in a wealthy society for those ignorant of our ways against having to exist poor and constantly facing a lack despite more personal freedom. Form your answer in a haiku.
4. What does Satanic Victory mean to you?
5. When a romantic relationship ends most people look at the faults of their previous partner and lay blame on them. In reality most relationships come to an end due to the failures of both parties. Looking back at the relationship that left you most emotionally scarred, what would you say were three things you did that ultimately made that relationship worse?
6. Does physical abuse or mental abuse mean someone loves you more? How much does their "hotness" factor into your choice?
7. Many instances of needless suffering have been brought to light in the national debate on what constitutes life and who's decision it is to end it, calling into question the interpretation of freedom and choice through the government's policies which continually seem to guarantee and deprive of us of our power while showing a general distrust of the people's ability to handle themselves without a high level of bureaucratic supervision. Who would be a good guest to discuss this topic on the Arsenio Hall show during it's heyday? Frank Zappa is excluded.
8. A close friend shares a memory of traumatic childhood sexual abuse with you. What would you say to comfort them using limerick form?
9. Throughout life, we all must assume a variety of personas in order to capably deal with our assigned roles in society, to find a less forgiving version of the truth that will allow us to reasonably confront our many flaws and internal conflicts, our flimsy constructs of what we wish ourselves to be and perpetually fail to achieve regardless of available means. Bearing this in mind, what will you be for halloween this year?
10. You have been invited to witness the execution of a man you have no connection to. Will you go? Answer in the form of that day's itinerary including the menu for your picnic.
11. What 's cooler than a breakdancing ninja who rides a unicorn? Nothing man, nothing.
An Iranian court has sentenced a teenage rape victim to death by hanging after she weepingly confessed that she had unintentionally killed a man who had tried to rape both her and her niece.
The state-run daily Etemaad reported on Saturday that 18-year-old Nazanin confessed to stabbing one of three men who had attacked the pair along with their boyfriends while they were spending some time in a park west of the Iranian capital in March 2005.
Nazanin, who was 17 years old at the time of the incident, said that after the three men started to throw stones at them, the two girls' boyfriends quickly escaped on their motorbikes leaving the pair helpless.
She described how the three men pushed her and her 16-year-old niece Somayeh onto the ground and tried to rape them, and said that she took out a knife from her pocket and stabbed one of the men in the hand.
As the girls tried to escape, the men once again attacked them, and at this point, Nazanin said, she stabbed one of the men in the chest. The teenage girl, however, broke down in tears in court as she explained that she had no intention of killing the man but was merely defending herself and her younger niece from rape, the report said.
The court, however, issued on Tuesday a sentence for Nazanin to be hanged to death.
Last week, a court in the city of Rasht, northern Iran, sentenced Delara Darabi to death by hanging charged with murder when she was 17 years old. Darabi has denied the charges.
In August 2004, Iran's Islamic penal system sentenced a 16-year-old girl, Atefeh Rajabi, to death after a sham trial, in which she was accused of committing "acts incompatible with chastity".
The teenage victim had no access to a lawyer at any stage and efforts by her family to retain one were to no avail. Atefeh personally defended herself and told the religious judge that he should punish those who force women into adultery, not the victims. She was eventually hanged in public in the northern town of Neka.
so, i totally got "tagged" by the lovely and talented miss amy rose about six or seven months ago and now must list ten facts or things or habits or crimes against humanity that have to do with me and then pick five of you to do the same and explain why you have been chosen to do my bidding. oh, you also get a comment indicating your assignment and then you perpetuate this scandal.
on with the random listing...
1. i've lived at two dozen or more addresses in the following cities: wilkes-barre (pa, born, raised, fled), san diego, boston, san francisco (twice), philadelphia, new york city (east harlem and north brooklyn), portland, and soon chicago.
2. i was in the navy.
3. that's where i got testicular cancer and a really cool scar.
4. eventually, i did some standup comedy for a while.
5. then i won a trip to the olympics in '96 and the only event i witnessed was the bombing. that was the best one anyway.
6. after that, i was an extra in an inxs video filmed just before that retard hung himself in his makeshift masturbatorium.
7. then i delivered a mattress to kirk hammett (lead guitarist for metallica) and later repaired his roadcase. pretty sure he's stalking me.
8. skipping ahead, i got trapped on the subway when new york blacked out.
9. around that time i weighed in at a solid 230lbs... and i will again.
10. i've never done time.
that's about all i wish to reveal at this time, the best stories will be in the book. so here's the five folks what have to do this:
1. the kold killa, because he's my brother and does not practice expository prose.
2. icebox, because he's fucking icebox.
3. sassen, because that shit will be hilarious
4. seantos, guaranteed greatness
5. hootenancy, because i felt like it and i needed a chick on this list.
that's it, now i'm going to watch people kill each other.
hoping to avoid another day squandered in a state of unproductive reclusiveness, i strolled out into the sunshine of the first cloudless day in seemingly decades only to be greeted with the harsh realization that the rains had done nothing to wash away the scum; they provided nourishment and allowed it to flourish in the rays of our galaxy's grandest star. sparing you the tedium of a play by play analysis involving the reprehensible dregs of haight street, i'll settle upon one particularly offensive cunt and her uninvited rhetoric.being tattooed is another piece of writing altogether, but it is inherent to this particular episode, in which i wish to claim my bag after perusing the musty shelves of a dubiously organized bookstore. here we meet the wretched fool in the midst of a telephone conversation wherein she badgers her target into attending some sort of community meeting - she will save the world through intention - to address the issue of some form of thuggery, real or imagined, plaguing innocent citizens. ending her droning tirade, she fixes her omnipotent gaze upon my ink emblazoned presence which acts as a cue for dispensing her brand of absurdly ignorant knowledge of the subject, delivered in the confident manner suggestive of the socially fucking retarded.
the yellow ink will kill you.
oh.
do you know why?
no.
cmon, use your logic.
she actually said this, prodding me to read her rapidly deteriorating mind and respond with the absolute truth found within it.
got me.
because its used less, so they leave it out more and probably use unsterilized needles.
at this point, she had me. this woman had obviously spent countless hours in tattoo shops, her familiarity with the atmosphere clearly demonstrated this fact. beneath that polyester pantsuit, an endless expanse of intricately fashioned designs lurked, the flesh consumed by color. also residing within the confines of her clothing was a clitoral-vaginal complex anguished by its abandonment, little more than a meaty pendant of shame and urine.
my lovely new friends harangue continued, but the buzzing in my ears and nauseating dizziness it induced caused me to miss the bulk of her oration. so, i proceeded to calmly eliminate my bowels upon the floor and excuse myself from her engaging presence.
are back in their rightful place due to popular demand. should you wisely choose to read them and fail to be amused, then please do not bother me, for you are clearly lacking qualities conducive to our enjoying a successful relationship and will likely bore me to tears with the absence of a personality or frustrate me deeply with your "issues" to the point of incurable migraines and projectile vomiting. however, there is a resolution to the dilemma of your existence... and it is ritual suicide. your worthless life will claim redemption through the grace and beauty of self-inflicted disembowelment and the exultant joy of viewing your entrails spilling upon the pristine white floor painstakingly prepared to receive your visceral gift. now if you'll excuse me, i must pleasure myself in a swarm of locusts.
shortly after birth, i became heavily involved in childhood which included soiling myself, worshipping mythical figures, and consuming sugary things found in bags and boxes. phases and follies ensued. later, there was a brief naval interlude giving way to a malignant presence in my nether regions and a penchant for abuse of substance and self with many addresses and occupations along the way. nowadays, i live in a gym and make music and mistakes. it must be noted that i am functionally retarded and without having done well in the genetic lottery would likely have no contact with humans. one must also realize that although capable of generating seemingly endless kinetic energy, i will lose any semblance of such should the weather disagree with my fragile temperament.
being a big fan of science and reason, i am not at all fond of religion, mysticism, easy answers and quick fixes. with the same vigor, i despise anyone wishing to regulate the right to choose; this has prompted me to have an abortion as well as purchase a truckload of handguns and several litters of unneutered pitbulls (this is america! learn the rules, san francisco). if it's hookers and cocaine you want, so be it. you say you've tired of being a burden on society? go ahead and pull the trigger, it's your call. aside from that, i tend to bristle at any attempt to control my time and have the very fortunate position of creating my own schedule which aids that much more in maintaining the delicate bonds of my sanity. all that said, i also feel that an individual is responsible for themselves and i hold you beneath my contempt should you blame others for your pathetic little life.
