Your Shoe Is Untied
Current mood: exhausted

okay, so i dont really take this whole blog thing very seriously.  appearant to anyone who has met me and knows my obsession with myspace, the fact that i dont blog may seem odd.  the truth is, i dont know how to write these things with a meaningful twist and not have them feel as if im letting everyone see me naked.

-- which leads me to a slightly interesting momentary diversion:  tonite it was cold in the offices and i had a blanket wrapped around me and four people (serious number) asked me if i was naked under the blanket.  how is that even a logical question to ask?  i mean i know sometimes my decisions dont necessarily make sense but public nudity?  really guys?--

anyhow, this blog thing.  is it really supposed to serve the purpose of a journal?  i dont know about you but i dont really want everyone knowing what i write in my journal... especially the people that im writing about.  and then people's half-assed comments on the honest feelings that i bled out onto my keyboard?  i really dont think that that would be entirely therapeutic for me.  but i do want to throw this idea around for a moment...

so, my grandpa died this weekend... this isnt actually the thought but thank you for your immediate condolences... and i have to say that im surprised as to how i have dealt with it.  i actually cried and mourned him, but the main thought is this:  im not sure if my grandpa knew that i loved him, and this thought makes me ill.  i mean it makes me take a look at all of my other relationships and bring in the question, "do they know how i really feel about them?"... i mean what do i want my legacy to be?  i want to love people freely and not have to worry about my own insecurities. 

i remember, in my freshman psych class, my professor asked: "how do you want to be remembered when you're gone?"  and a kid replied, trying to be a smart ass, "hell man, i just want to be remembered."  now, this kid in his bass masters hat was trying to be funny but his point was very legitimate... we all just want to be remembered.  truthfully, i dont really know where my point lies here but i do want to be remembered and i want to love people how i want to be loved back... thats all... without all of the fear attached to it.  its easy to type that.  acting on it may be harder.

10:28 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

tulips
Current mood: hopeful

so i was walking around campus today... and actually i really didnt want to be there and i was a little grumpy and i looked around and you know what i saw??... there are pink and yellow tulips everywhere!  how can anyone be pissy when there are pink and yellow tulips around?...

11:49 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

May '08
Current mood: quixotic

so i found out last week that i only have to be in school for another year... we're talking May '08 i'm done!  that is so bitchin...

10:07 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment