i’m just saying....
Current mood: contemplative

is it just me or is the slogan for botox a little off?

"express yourself."  from what i know about botox, it's a muscle paralyzer, some sort of toxin, and that's what gets rid of the wrinkle.

and as we all have seen, the botox often renders many of its users vitually expressionless.  if they use it way too much, anyway.

that is all

11:02 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

randomness
Current mood: hungry

could it be true?  i'm actually home before 9 pm.  usually i work like noon till closing sunday through thursday, every week.  but fortunately a coworker offered to stay for me, and here i am, actually able to eat dinner at home.  instead of scarfing down a bowl of soup at 8:30, hoping the manager doesn't come around the corner and say, "you're not supposed to being eating that.  are you clocked out yet?" or some other line.

6:42 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

because it is mandatory
Current mood: complacent

Leave your name in my blog comments. Once you do that, this is what I will do ...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a kind of alcoholic beverage to share with you.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
(if possible. if not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. If you play, you MUST post this on your blog

6:03 PM - 14 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

ponderings
Current mood: contemplative

i've been thinking alot lately about next year.  all the things about billy leaving and moving and whatnot.  i keep telling myself it's a ways away, but it's really not.  i mean, 6 months (roughly) is a long time, but i know it's going to go fast.  as corny as it sounds, i want to spend it wisely.  because he'll be gone for like 7 months, and what if something happens?  i can't think about that, though.

and sometimes, it hits me.  like he won't be here for my birthday.  and he's going to miss theo's 2nd birthday.  and how am i going to adjust to him not coming home?  and sleeping by myself?  i have these visions of the day when he has to leave, of us together for that very last time, that last night.  of hugging him and having to let go, and watching him leave knowing that it might be the last time i see him.  how do you go home after that?  can't i just wait there until he gets back?  it breaks my heart, it makes me sick.  and i know it's only going to get worse as it gets closer and closer.  i don't know if i can do it, not again.  it was hard enough without him last year, and now just to get situated in our family life only to disrupt it again, it's not fair. 

other than that, i guess it's going to be financially beneficial for us.  we'll be getting his regular pay, plus extra for him being in iraq, and the BAH again since i won't be living on base.  i had planned on moving back in with my mom for the time, just to save all that money minus bills and helping out with her's, but now i'm not so sure.  i have reason to think that my mom is seeing my ex-stepdad again.  we're both adults with our own lives and she is free to date who she wants, but he is not someone i want to be around.  he is finally out of my life, and i want to keep it that way.  also, i don't want theo around him or to even know who he is.  and if she is dating him, then i don't want to be living with her.  not out of spite, just that it's her home and she might want him to come over and all that that goes with it, and i don't want it.  i love my mother very much, but if that's what she wants to do, that's fine but i am also an adult and choose not to have that in my life anymore.  and i think my mother would understand this.

and i can't move back in with my dad, because they don't have any room for us and he and my stepmom smoke indoors.

even if she is not dating said man again, just everything that comes with moving back in with your parent(s) is a little less than desirable after basically living on my own since i graduated high school.  just having to worry about going places and having to tell them where you are and when you'll be home, and who and all that stuff.  and what if i want to just forgo getting dressed that day and lounge in my undies? 

i'm seriously considering getting my own place.  it would have to be on the southside, around pasadena/baybrook area where i used to live.  that way, i can ask my grandma or dad to babysit theo, and i can get a job again.  if i live on the northside i have to put him in daycare, which is superexpensive and why i quit working last time.  i could still pay munner or dad, but i know it won't be as much as daycare.  and i could get a job, fulltime, working someplace around there.  there's alot of shopping centers around there and baybrook mall, too.  so that would be a 4th income while billy's gone.  plus, i really like having my own place to come home to, not to mention the little stuff like decorating and looking at apartments.  i've been looking online, and there's a few 1 bedroom/den and 2 bedroom apartments in the area that are less than $700.  i know i can do it, even if i don't get a job right away, i still have the BAH to live off of which is what it's for anyway!

billy's thing is that he wants to save all the money to pay off the car when he gets home.  but i know we'll still be able to save alot of money even if i get my own apartment.  we don't have that many bills other than living expenses.  i haven't talked to him about this yet, just because i'm sorting it out in my mind still.  and i have yet to mention this to anyone really.  but i will and i need to. 

other than this, everything's good.  i missed going to new braunfels this year, and i even missed the hot texas heat if you can imagine.  theo is getting ready to turn one, and i'm excited about that!  be sure and send your birthday wishes on the 29th! 

12:29 AM - 6 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

i heart mayo
Current mood: good

has anyone ever seen the o.c.?  isn't it about beautiful rich kids with their petty problems?  well, that's where i live now.  in beautiful san clemente, california.  it is pretty spectacular, i must say.  all the cliffside houses overlooking the pacific, the winding roads meant for driving a bmw (or acura mdx!!!!) at ridiculous speeds (not me, mind you; i have baby theo in the back!), the impeccable weather.  the only thing missing is you!

i have spent the past couple of weeks doing moving things.  packed (by myself) all last week, spent the weekend moving things.  you should have seen me driving the truck.  it was the smallest 10'x10' truck, but it wasn't small, either.  my friend and  i got hit on at the gate to get on base by the guards.  i'll admit, it made me feel kinda good since billy isn't one to compliment me often.  then the past few days i've been cleaning the old apartment and unpacking boxes here and putting stuff away (again by myself).  but it's all almost done.  there's no shelves in the pantry, though, and not enough cabinet space for the food, so it's just sitting out on the counter.  once we get the shelves, everything will look fantastic. 

the only thing i don't like about our new place, are the white trash neighbors.  the first sight you see when you pull up is toys everywhere in the alley, lawnchairs sitting in front of garages opened to expose packrat-esque holdings, and babies playing in dirt wearing just diapers.  where's the parent(s)?  smoking cigarettes nearby, yelling at each other.  i was informed the first night by a neighbor that our nextdoor neighbors fight all the time, which proved true while we were moving the couch inside the next day.  we could hear the girl screaming that "everyone hates the neighbors because they have carpet," and that they have babies that need it to break their fall.  well, we have a baby too.  i guess everyone has tile downstairs.  i couldn't help but exclaim how plush the carpet was on my bare feet a little louder than usual.

  we do have alot more room now, 2 stories and little theo has his own room!  we just need to decorate it, i'm thinking a dino motif.  or "miss hawaiian tropic" posters.  and we're less than a mile from the beach.  but we're living on base now, so we don't get BAH (off base housing allowance), but our bills are paid except cable, and we rent a washer/dryer.  i guess i'll just stay inside and keep to myself so as not to accidentally befriend the neighbors.  one time when we got home, they came over and introduced themselves to billy, but i just gave a quick wave and went inside.  hopefully i came off as a bitch and they won't ever want to talk to me.  i can only hope....

that is all for now.  there's some more contestants in my "world's ugliest" picture album.  if anyone has any entries, do submit.   

3:25 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

long long long week
Current mood: exhausted

some of you may have noticed my absence over the past week and a half or so.  let me take some time to explain to you what has been going on.

some of you may also have known about the florida vacation billy and i were planning on taking.  around the time we were getting ready for this, i got some bad news from my grandma (from hereon referred to as munner cuz that's what we call her.)  i got a package from her with some theo clothes and a note about her goingson.  she said the only thing going on was my grandpa (pop, as we call him) was going in to have gallstones removed and they were looking forward to a new braunfels camping trip afterwards.  i called her to thank her, but left a message on her machine instead.  she called back a few hours later and said that she'd been at the hospital with pop, who wasn't doing too well.  even though removing gallstones is a quick outpatient type thing, the doctors wanted to keep him overnight just cuz of his age (he was 83), and ended up having a heart attack.  in the time it took the doctors to get to him, he didn't have oxygen going to his brain and went into a coma.  this all happened friday, the 8th.  then on the following tuesday, my dad called me and said that they were going to take pop off life support, that he wouldn't want to live like that.  i understood, i wouldn't want to either and i knew pop wouldn't want to be like that.  of course it was sad, too.  he didn't pass away just then, though, so billy and i got plane tickets back to houston wednesday so i could see him and my family before we went on our florida vacation.  i went to the hospital where pop was in icu on thursday, and munner was signing papers to get him home with hospice care.  we spent a few hours there, talking and saying goodbye.  pop was just snoring like he always did back at home.  it was just like he was sleeping.  after we left, i had dinner with my mom and chance and his baby jacob.

  we left for new orleans the next morning and were gonna spend the night there with billy's family before driving on to florida the next day.  it was also his aunt's birthday, so we went out to eat at a wonderful seafood restaurant.  we haven't had food like that, really really great seafood, since moving out to california.  it really makes me miss being home.  well, at the dinner my dad called to tell me pop had just passed away.  they were waiting for the funeral home to pick him up, and he'd call me when they planned the funeral.  it was almost like pop had waited till he got home to go.  he hadn't even been home for more than a day before it happened.  and i though that was kinda nice; it's alot better than being in a hospital room, but just being home with your family around you in the house where you've lived the past 50 years.

we drove on to florida the next day as planned, and i said i'd just fly back to houston for the funeral.  it was tuesday, so i left monday night and came back to floriday wednesday.  the funeral was really nice, it had everything that pop wanted, bagpipes and all.  it was just so sad for munner though.  they were married 57 years, and they loved each other so much.  and pop loved all of his kids and grandkids, too, and we loved him.  we just remember all the things he did and said, the stories he told at every christmas and his jokes and his secret mason handshakes. 

when i got back to florida, i still had plenty of time to try and relax and go to the beach and just hang out with everyone.  i'll blog more about the vacation later and put up pictures, too.  but now i must ready myself and young theo, for he has a doctor's appointment.  toodles.

11:28 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

wait....what?
Current mood: scared

who watched the finale of LOST tonite?  it's pretty effin' weird.  Jack apparently was addicted to oxycodone.  and you can find it in the pharmacy where it's blatantly labeled so.  why, i dunno.  he also has a beard.  again, dunno.  he and kate knew each other before the crash?  or is it after they get off the island.  zuh?  so i'm just really confused right now.  i am a little happy though that they finally had some things happen in the episode.  ah, till october or whenever i suppose.

billy's gone to the field this week, leaving me all by myself this week.  it's only wednesday but it feels like forever.  i keep thinking just one more day, then he'll be back friday afternoon...i'm trying to find all these things to do.  like i finally washed my car today.  and waxed it, too.  it's so shiny and pretty now.  i cleaned the interior, too, now i just need to vacuum it.  maybe tomorrow.  it's the first time i've ever washed it, and i got it in november.  pretty sad.  tomorrow i plan on cleaning the bathroom and spot-cleaning the carpet.  oh, and i got the drain in the bathroom sink draining again.  i live such a glamorous life.

i can't wait to move on base.  mostly for the extra space and such, but also so i don't have to hear my stupid neighbor having sex anymore.  it's only the girl, though and i think she just has a bunch of boyfriends.  this has been going on since the 2nd night we got here in january.  i have to go get my earplugs so i can go to sleep, it's that loud.  the main thing is that everyone sleeps with their windows open at night since there's no A/C or ceiling fans here, and our windows are literally a half a foot apart.  and our beds are on the same wall.  i'm not tryin' to playa hate or nothin like that.  i'm just saying have some consideration when it's 5:45 am and close your window or take it down a notch.  i'm all for people doin' it if they want, but i shouldn't have to be the unwilling and inadvertant subject of it.  i almost feel like a voyeur, a pervert listening in on them. 

more news to come, too, on a variety of subjects. 

and how was YOUR week?   

10:51 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

so awesome
Current mood: giggly

did yall see that paris hilton is going to jail?  that's so awesome!!!  i read it's for 45 days and she starts in june.  finally, she gets what she needs.  i'm sure if it was someone else, they would've been like, just don't do it again.  but since pretty much all america despises her, they probably were thinking "yes!  we finally get to do what we've wanted to do forever!"  maybe she'll get stabbed.  probably, no definitely, raped by a big black woman.  ah, what a great thing to hear.

10:18 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

catching up is hard to do...
Current mood: energetic

so, update:  i'm quitting my job.  yeah, i know i've only been there for like 2 months, but i just don't want to work there anymore.  and with the cost of daycare and gas, it's really not cost effective to keep working there.  i think i'll still go in every couple of saturdays or so to make a lil extra $$, since billy can watch theo that day.  also, i miss being with him!  especially since he's fixin to start walking and talking, and i want to see that myself, not hear about it when we pick him up from daycare.  he's already getting his first tooth!!!!

also billy and i signed up for a gym membership at 24 hour fitness yesterday.  this is something i've been wanting to do for a while, especially after being pregnant and having theo.  and if i'm not working, i can devote all my time to going to the gym and getting hot!  yeah.  so i went this morning, there was a pilates class starting at 9:30.  i went to it, and it was like an hour long.  OH MY GODDD, i havent' worked out at all since high school, i think, maybe before that.  so yeah, it was hard, but i felt good actually doing it.  i'll keep going to those classes and probably the yoga ones, too.  then after the class i went and did a couple miles on the eliptical machine.  i was there for only about 2 hours, but still!  i'll probably go tonight too after billy gets home and we'll go together.  they also have a daycare there that's $3 for 2 hours, and it's open till 9.  but for now, i'm going to the beach with amber.  i just had to take some time to cool down and let yall know what's goin on with me. 

ok i'm going to the beach now, the sun's coming out.  we're going to the del mar beach on base so we can watch all the marines.....i know you're jealous! 

and how was YOUR week?

11:32 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

a day off....and LOST
Current mood: frustrated

i had to take off work today.  really didn't want to, but kinda did, too.  the thing is, theo is sick and daycare won't let him come in.  he's had a fever the past few days, which i thought was b/c of an ear infection since he was kinda pulling on it and he has a cold.  when i got home last night, billy said when he picked him up that the caregivers said he needed to go to the doctor and can't come back until he's fever-free for a day!  so i took him to the doctor this morning, and turns out he doesn't have an ear infection, just a pretty bad cold virus (which i'm sure he got from some little snot nosed baby sonofabitch at daycare).  now we are home, and i was hoping to be able to at least go in for a half day at work, but the doctor said the soonest theo can go back to daycare is tomorrow.  but i'm off tomorrow anyway, so i just have 2 days i guess...

about LOST.  those who know me know that i love the show.  i watch it religiously every wed. night at 9.  even since i moved to cali and it comes on at 10, i still stay up to watch it, even though i know i should go to sleep since i need to get up early the next morning.  but lately things have changed.  is it just me, or are the episodes really, really starting to piss you off?  i mean, nothing ever happens.  nothing materializes or makes progress.  they just talk about what they're going to do, have some flashbacks which really don't help the story line a whole lot anymore, and just add even more "cliff hangers" for the next episode, which they probably won't even touch on.  it's a waste of my time and patience.  last week, i discussed this with billy, who just laughed because he could see how genuinely upset i was with this.  i told him i was done; i'm not watching another episode.  ever!  but i did anyway, and was disappointed.  one thing did happen though:  claire thought of a way to get off the island with the birds and stuff.  which is intriguing, but it won't work, because if it did, the show would be over.   but i have a feeling the producers and whatnot are trying to stretch this show out for like 20 years or something.  i think alot of other people are getting fed up and are on the brink of not watching anymore, too, so they really need to start moving things along.  otherwise, i truly will quit watching, and i mean it this time.  i'm giving it one more week (this coming episode), and i swear to god i'll call for a boycott. 

i miss scooter and the kitties!  also, there's this effing sweet guinea pig at petsmart that i've taken quite a liking to.  i'll probably be bringing him home this weekend. 

12:11 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment