The Zoo and the Talk

I took a day off from work yesterday and ended up going to the zoo with Joe and his daughter.  Given that she is two and not my child I don't feel comfortable even asking him if I can post pictures.  However, this girl is going to be trouble.  She is very smart and very spacial.  She is really good at figuring out puzzles, which means she will be getting into everything very soon.  She is also a very funny.  At two she has more humor than a lot of adults I know.

Point Defiance is an ok zoo.  I have been to Balboa Park in San Deigo so I'm kind of ruined for zoos.  We saw all sorts of animals and Princess loved it.  Again given that she's not my kid, I don't want to give out to much info.  It was a good day.  Although I did need to get some clarification from Joe.  So I flat out asked him.  What is going on with us?

We are on pause.  Um, ok, whatever.  I'm willing to wait till October, but I'm not stopping my life.  So I guess I'm single with an option in October?  Whatever.  I like him.  I think I could love him.  But if anything I have learned to take it one day at a time.  I'm going to be picky.  Enough about boys.

As I sit here looking at my profile picture I realize I need a haircut. 

My dad is doing well.  He has surgery today and will head home soon.  Thats it.  Have fun today!

4:39 PM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

no more injuries!

Ok, for the second time this summer my mother has called me in a near panic.  This time my father pretty much severed his middle finger.  And me being the smart ass I am said "well at least he can't flip people off anymore."  (This is typical of us Wisdom's.  My dad would have said the same thing to anyone else.)  Mom did not take that well.

My dad is doing ok.  The think they can save the finger.  Which is good.  He is currently at Vanderbuilt Hospital in Nashville and is supposed to be the best hospital in the south. 

He was checking the oil on the APU (alternative power unit) on the truck.  To do this it has to be running.  However, my dad didn't realize how far in he was.  So, yeah.  The gloves he was wearing saved his life, but probably caused the accident.

So that has been my day.

8:44 PM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

truckers are awesome

They are hard to miss.  Almost eighty feet of 18 wheelin' power crusing down the road.  My parents are two of the men and women who keep America truckin'.  I am very proud of them.  They have logged thousand upon thousand of accident free miles.  Now, they manage to do this even though people who drive 4 wheelers (cars) make very stupid decisions.  For example, the man who cut off my dad, causing him to almost tip his truck and trailer.  It is only because of my dad's mad skills did he manage to not have an accident.

Now, just this past week a man cut off my dad but my dad could not stop in time and rear ended this man.  My dad was not cited, but will most likely be the at fault party because it was a rearend collision.  Even though the man DID NOT give my dad enough room.  Here is where the story gets even better!

The guy and his woman took off in the car!  My dad chased him into the IHOP parking lot.  Blocking him in with the semi.  My dad is fearless.  Now the cops showed up and refused to to a blood alcohol test on the driver.  Who is an illegal Mexican.  So now, my parents are cursing the Austin cops for failure to do there job, and my mom is worried this guy is going to sue the pants off them.  Now I mention his immigration status becuase he had no insurance, couldn't speak English, and he kept saying my parents would pay. 

My parents work hard to get the goods from point A to B safely.  They are working twice as hard to make a paycheck because they own their truck and have to pay for their fuel.  So in addition to getting screwed over at the pump for disel, they have to worry about stupid people on the road.  I see it everyday on I-5.  People  cutting off trucks, not allowing them to merge safely, and all the while cursing them.  18 wheelers cannot stop on a dime.  They are hauling 20,000 lbs if not more.  Simple physics says a body in motion tends to stay in motion, the bigger the body, the more it wants to stay moving.

So, I guess I would ask that you give them some respect and space.  You never know, they maybe someones totally kick ass parents.  :D

4:38 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s 9 PM. Do you know where your Mel is?

I am in Yakima.  I hate Yakima.  Well, no, not really.  What I hate is that this is the second time in less than a week I have been here.  I promise not to bore you with the details of what I am trying to do, but I feel as if I am losing my sanity.

The highlight of the trip was stopping up at Snoqualmie for coffee (the Mt. pass I have to cross) and realizing its freezing!  Then only 30 minutes later to wish that I was in shorts.  I love this state. So many extremes.  Its awesome.  I hope we have a kick ass winter because this girl is going to be a snow bunny and learn snow board.  Maybe meet some hot snow boarding guys... :D

My thought for today has been percalating for a while:

There are times in your life where you just want to curl up in a ball and cry.  There are times where you yell at God and wonder why you.  There are times where you wonder what you did to deserve all that you have.  There are times where something so beautiful stops you and that image is imprinted on your heart as well as your mind.

I never want to be so wealthy I forget how many homes I have.  I don't want to be so poor I curse God.  What I want to be is the kind of person who sees the beauty in a falling leaf.  Whose heart sings when child laughs, and breaks when they cry.  I want to fight against injustice and celebrate those who have a victory, no matter how small.

I think this will end with  funny cat story.  I have two cats.  Who think that the world revolves around them.  Which most of the time it does.  Cleo has decided that she will wake me up several minutes before the alarm actually goes off.  She does this by head butting my, then by trying to groom my eyebrows.  Her sister sophie has decided at some point during the night to lay in such a way that I can not get out of the covers.  So, I wake up swatting one cat away, and then almost killing myself trying to get out of bed.  To top it off they both just sit there.  I am pretty sure they are laughing at me.  I love them though.

4:05 AM - 10 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

parenting thoughts from someone who isn’t a parent

I have to admit that I do not have children.  I do work with them, but that still doesn't give me any experience on the topic of raising them.  However, with that said...

I was saddened to learn that one of my kids tried to commit suicide.  I am very glad that this teen was unsuccessful.  It breaks my heart that they feel so low and the option they feel they should exercise is to end their life.  I currently feel as if the parents have blinders on.  They are in the church and while I don't know everything, I do know that this kid needs more than they are getting.  However, the youth pastor knows the situtation and I know that his heart is in the right spot and he is keeping in touch with the teen.

Then we have a mother who in an effort to protect her children from bad choices refuses to cut the apron strings.  She is going to have an extreme case of rebellion on her hand shortly.  My prayer in this case is that she allows her daughter to spread her wings in a safe place and to fly.  Because if she keeps her caged, she is going to bolt.  While the daughter has a pretty good head on her shoulder, she doesn't quite know what to do because she hasn't been allowed to learn.

I hope that I am like Mama Loves Puppies when I have children.  That I am the kind of mom who is open and honest about life with her kids.  Instills selfworth and respect into them.  And hopefully while I know that my future children will make mistakes, I hope that I am there to help support them and to help them learn from them.  They are unique people, not clones of me.  I just hope that I can remember that if I am ever blessed with offspring.

7:08 AM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

hamster

He sits there so cool, not moving at all.  Mocking me with his "lets have fun" attitude.  Just who does he think he is?  The steering wheel in his hand suggesting some sort of shinanigans are in order.  Oh no!  His foot says press here.  I won't.  I won't be a slave to his cuteness.  To the temptation that sits right here in front of me.  Mocking me.  Taunting me.  Saying come on, you know you want to.  I scoff.  That's right, I scoff in your direction.  I will be a good girl.  I will do work.  But there is such a pull.  A pull to make the hamster sing "Bad to the Bone."  Damn hamster. 

It's not his fault though.  But still, damn hamster.

11:37 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s just another muscle right?

It beats in your chest, pushes the blood through viens and arteries in an endless cycle that allows us to live.  Medical text books say its a muscle.  The heart is a wonderful thing.  I have been lucky enough to see a real one, to examine it.  I was amazed at how something a little bigger than my fist could do what it did. 

Then I remember the first time it was broken.  I had been hurt before, but a night of crying and Hagan Das helped that.  This was new.  I didn't feel like I could get out of bed.  I felt as it a stone had replaced the muscle that was supposed to be pumping my blood.  I wasn't dying, so I knew it still functioned.  It was functional, but for the first time I sobbed.  Not just cried, but got to the point where the tears refused to come and I felt as if the crying was coming from the pit of my stomach.

I remember that first time felt love, not the familial kind.  But the kind where your heart feels like its going to burst with joy.  At that point I didn't realize that the two were connected.  If you felt one, you would feel the other.  Passion and pain.  While not always connected, they do seem to follow.  I am a person who gives my whole heart, unfortunately quite early on in any relationship.

Sometimes I am annoyed that I have learned basic life lessons so late in life.  I was in such a hurry to feel love again, that I did something that I wouldn't normally do.  I got uber attached.  These are the moments that I feel blessed.  I have friends who volunteer to kick ass and take names later, who are willing to distract me, get me drunk, or read my blogs.  So while my heart is tender and a little sore, I know that one day soon it will be better. 

I am awesome and my friends are awesome.  And while I think now is not the best time for the guy to be getting into a new relationship, I'm not sure its the right time for me either. 

5:19 AM - 8 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Things that define who we are

I was thinking last night about who I was and how I have fought so hard to hold on to that.  Sometimes I wonder why it is so easy to start to conform to the crowd.  When people ask me to describe myself I usually end up saying I am the sum of my experiences.  I am not easily put into a box that you can put a label on.  My friends are the same.  I usually don't end up having to many friends who are "neat."  I have rough and soft edges, and I expect that the people in my life to have same.

Why?  Because if you aren't living life, experiencing things, loving, getting hurt, or just being a part of this mess called society then you are going to be very straight edged.  I have loved and lost, and my heart has been broken because of it.  I relish that because I know that I can feel passion.  I have been very angry.  I relish that because it shows that I care.  The situtation of my fellow man has either inspired hope, or caused me to jump on my soap box.  I relish that because it lets me know that I see I am not the center of it all.

Life is journey, not a destination.  To me I see so many people living to reach something.  While I don't see that as necesarily wrong, I do find it wrong to make it the point of your life.  One of my favorite things to do is to explore, go down a country road I have never been down before.  Try a new trail or just pull out the map, close my eyes and point.

I want to have a great life journey.  I will laugh and cry, I will love, I will have faith and hope in my fellow man.  Why?  Because that is who I am.  I am a woman who wants to give her heart away to those around her, and knit them socks, but that part is unrealistic.  But still.  I am the woman who will get violently angry when she sees someone doing something evil.  I am the woman who will stop and ask a stranger is she can pet there dog.  I am the woman who can talk a good game about video games and sports.

I am who I am.  I hope that others can find out who they are because it sure makes it easier to figure out where you are going.  Even if it just to go get lost.

5:19 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

I can’t wait till my mind calms down.

Do ever have thoughts that just race around your mind?  I do.  Mostly they are the ones I wish would just leave me alone.  I can exude independence and self confidence when people meet me, but the internal dialogue is totally different.  Take this thing with Joe and I.  He told me that he was interested in me.  Now, I am going crazy because to be honest he sucks at returning phone calls.  I end up thinking, is he still interested?  Does he still find me attractive?  Damn it!  Then it starts up again.  I think I just need to know where he is at.  If I know that then I will be good.  Then my mind will leave me alone.

I understand that right now life is very busy for him, but I would like a little reassurance that he is still into me.  But then again, its all so new still.  I just wish that wouldn't stare at my phone.  It is as if I am trying to will him to call me.  To talk to me.  He told me that things will be better in October.  That is so far away it seems, but not so far.  Bleh.  I hate this round and round in my head.

My goal for this week is to not stare at my phone.  To make plans, to go out with friends, and to try and relegate my mental frenzy to the back burner.  Because I don't want to be that girl who is pushy and I don't want to give up my life.  Which is what I am starting to do.  I am just glad that I caught part now instead of later.

I have some pictures that I will post tonight of this weekend.  It was good to get out of town.

7:16 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

mel is not good at dating

So, things are cool, I guess with the guy I'm seeing.  I haven't dated in over 5 years.  Yeah, I have a lot to learn.  Which means, time to slow down and go one day at a time.  I hate being so insecure, but I'm getting better. 

2:05 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment