1 more week
Current mood: happy

Hi All.  Just letting you know that I'm down to 1 more week of work before I get my "lay off".  Is it possible to be both ecstatic and apprehensive at the same time?  Never in my life have I had the opportunity to just walk away and say "you know what, I'm not going to work for awhile".

Folks, It's liberating!  I have lists of things I'm going to do and places I'm going to go and roads I'm going to ride on my Motorcycle.  Half of which I know that I will never get to because, well, thats just the way I am.  I know I will squander to much of my time but that's ok.  The one thing I know I will do is relax.  Work on my house if I want to.  Play with Thora.  Invite my friends over and get drunk.  Whatever.

Thursday is my last day.  Friday morning, as I'm sitting on the deck of my log cabin, drinking and enjoying the scenery and watching Thora chase squirrels, I'm going to be thinking of all you sad fucks in your 8-5 jobs workin for the man.  And then I'm going to remember and say to myself,  your going to have to go back to work sometime Dumbass!  And then I am going to pretend it isn't true, add some Baileys to my coffee and put it off as long as possible.

9:37 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

worship from afar

Isn't it funny that people that are in relationships are always more attractive.  They look happier, they feel better and above all they are unobtainable.  At least that's what we tell ourselves as we sit in the corner longing to talk to them, to hold them or kiss their soft lips.

Would it be wrong to express to them our true feelings?  Would the embarrassment be as great as the the feelings of lose you feel now?  My belief is this:  Find the courage and tell them how you feel.  Two things will result, you might have a new love or at the very least you will have the piece of mind that you tried and now you can move on. 

Maybe their relationship really isn't as good as it appears on the outside.  Sometimes people need a kick in the ass to make them do what they need to do.  It's much easier to fall into the arms of someone new than to be alone.  If they decide to stay the course then their bond will strengthen as their love is tested.

Am I writing this knowing that there is someone that I worship from afar?  I hope we all have someone that we wonder about because it makes us feel alive.  So be brave and open your heart and feel the hurt or the joy but rejoyce in the fact that you are feeling and you are alive.

2:35 PM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

dating
Current mood: energetic
Category: Romance and Relationships

I have found thru my vast existance that the most exhilerating part of dating is the first few months when that new aquantiance is still a mystery.  Everything is new about them, their ideas, how they talk, how they kiss, how they smell....I could go on and on.

What is it that finally turns and make the relationship less exciting?  Is it just time or do we just become comfortable.  Who usually falls into the rutt first he or she or is it mutual.  I think that we really want to slow down and go at a slower pace.  We get so caught up in "dating" and having "fun" with that special person that we forget to find what is really in their heart.  We know that they love us' but why? 

I hate to say it but our parents were right.  You can't have a meaningful relationship if you jump in bed with them from the beginning.  There needs to be a sound foundation to base all that emotion on.  Some time spent learning who they are and what they are about.  An understanding that you mean something to each other and sex is the culmination of all the knowledge and the emotion that the two of you have shared.

Does it take a day or a year?  i can't tell you how long you should wait.  I don't know if there could be a set time that would work for everyone.  Only know that any time spent learning and loving and not fucking is only going to give strength to your relationship.

2:15 PM - 5 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

The people I meet
Current mood: contemplative

Everyday I am amazed at the type of people I meet.  some I speak with on the phone, chat with on the computer or meet in person.  More often than not I come away with the knowledge that I gained a part of them and inturn learned something about myself.

I have found that most people don't easily talk about themselves and those that do, you can only listen to for so long.  But with only a little urging, a kind word or a direct question, you can get someone to trust you enough to tell you a secret or share something that is special only to them.

I believe the key to this is showing them that you understand, not be judgemental, be supportive and above all just listen.  Thats why most people won't express themselves.  They think no one is listening.  No one cares, someone else has something more important or funnier to say.  Get these people one on one and you'll find out that under that shy exterior is a vast intellect.

How do I know about this?  I am one of those shy people.  Many of you that I call my friends have watched me emerge over the years.  Shedding my shy exterior and displaying what I have to offer.  Caring less about your judgements and your jealousy and knowing that I have many gifts and that I can share them with those that are open to learning.  Those that are willing to step out of their shells and step forward knowing that they too will walk away with a part of me.

1:45 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Exciting times
Current mood: excited

This is the first time in more years than I can remember that I am truely excited about life.  Truely living not just existing.  I have been delt some new cards, some have been high and some have been low.  All in all I have a good hand and look forward to a fun and fruitful few years.

Some things that are coming up.  Company of Wolves February 23-25.  I will stepup as the second Alpha of Wolfstar, the finest household in the knownworld.  Gulf Wars March 11-18.  With my CoAlpha D'Alder, we will lead our people to victory over those filthy Trimarins.  March 31 unemployed and on to something bigger and better.  If my plans go "as planned" I will be spending many weeks in Denmark learning of my heritage and gittin my party on with the relatives.  This will happen either in April or May.

So bring it on life, I'm ready!

10:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Recently diagnosted with Shorttimers.
Current mood: bored
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

God this sucks.

As some of you know I am being laid off this spring.  Don't worry, it's ok.  I am ready for a change in scenery.  Here's the part that sucks:  I have to endure this god forsaken place until March 31st!  I have short timers real bad.  I really don't know how I am going to endure the next few months.

12:48 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Back again
Current mood: contemplative

It's cold again and I love it!  Nothing is better than a cleansing freeze to make spring and summer more productive and fertile.  For those of you who know of my little cabin in the woods it's absolutely beautiful.  Once I get the fire going I don't want to ever leave.

If only this were the kind of winter I had as a child.  I grew up in North Dakota during the years when we really got snow.  I remember being 7 or 8 years old and standing on the snow drift behind my house and looking over the roof at the neighbors across the street.  That was snow.  I used to make the best tunnels and forts growing up.  I used to play for hours.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is realize how fantastic this season is.  Snow and really cold weather are rare in this part of the country.  Find ways to enjoy it.  Go sledding, curl up by the fire with someone special or look out the window and see how clean and pure everything looks after the storm.  If nothing else appreciate the warmer weather when it comes.

4:47 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment