The Flu and STD’s
Category: Life

Good afternoon everyone.  Hopefully you’re feeling better than I am at the moment.  It would seem I am sick.

Saturday night my wife and I hung out with some friends.  We went to an 80’s night at a local club.  We sang and danced and had a pretty good time.  When we got home that night we were hoping our animals would let us sleep late.  No such luck.  When they are hungry and have to pee they don’t care about your feelings.

So we got up and were feeling a little lousy.  We didn’t think much of it.  We just assumed we felt that way from partying to hard and not getting enough sleep.  Later that day we hung out with my mom.

Amelia was starting to look a little pale and said she was starting to ache.  So we came home.  By this time I was starting to ache and neither of us wanted to do much.  We just lazed around and watched the movie "Crank."  Crank is about a silly movie.  I wouldn’t recomend it.

Then last night we went to bed. Nearly every 45 minutes or so I was waking up having to pee.  I also had severe chills.  I checked my temperature and it was 97.1.  No fever.  Then the alarm clock went off.

I was feeling like complete crap.  I wanted to go to work because I had bought all kinds of cupcakes and goodies for my employees.  My body had other plans.  To my surprise Amelia was in the same situation.  We decided to go to the doctor.

As most typical doctor’s visits go, it took to long.  However, when mentioning my symptoms, the doctor asked me if I was monogamous with my wife.  They thought I might have symptoms of some STD.  I told the doctor, I’m completely monogamous.  I don’t have time to be anything but.  It’s like I work all day then meet Amelia at the gym, then we go home.  I don’t have time to cheat. 

When I told the doctor my wife had the same symptoms well that blew out their STD theory.  The doctor did make me take a flu test and a pee test.  I was negative for everything and it was deemed I have a virus of some sort.  Amelia, however, was positive for the flu. 

Now we’re both home until at least Thursday and already we’re bored to tears.  What can ya do?  We’re just drinking our fluids and eating crappy foods.  You know, the stuff you’re supposed to do when you’re sick. 

Hopefully you all are feeling ok.  Take care.

12:30 PM - 11 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

management accomplishments
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Nearly 3 months ago I took over as manager for the phone bank of my division.  When I got there the area was in pretty bad shape.  Attendance was an issue, morale was lower than anything you can imagine, Customer Service was severely lacking, and I could go on and on but I think you get my point.

When I first took over my first thought was, "What have I got myself into?"  I was overwhelmed.  My previous management experience at Walmart taught me everything wrong I could do and I didn't want to repeat those mistakes.  Luckily for me I had the support of my supervisor unlike my last run at management.

The first thing I did with everyone was lay out my expectations.  I told everyone that we're all adults and that I expect them to be at work.  I told them that I expect good and timely information and better customer service.  I was going to demand accountability.  I also said I wasn't going to run the area with an iron fist.

I told the staff to hold me accountable for my actions.  I wanted them to come to me if they had questions without fear of reprecussions.  I wanted their ideas and input on how to make our section and division better.  Then I said I want them to follow up with me on my progress of their ideas.  I was going to hold weekly meetings with them to keep them in loop of all communications coming from above my head and to let them know how they are doing as a whole. 

Without going into specifics attendance was addressed first.  People complied because I didn't come at them with the, "Come to work or you're fired" attitude.  I asked them why they weren't coming to work and offered them suggestions how to help with their individual situations. Meaning, people weren't missing work for the hell of it and it wasn't a personal thing they were doing against me. Attendance isn't much of an issue any more. 

Keeping the staff in the loop of rule and legislative changes has helped reduce the number of calls because the staff is giving out better information.  I've also used the staff's ideas on other ways to help reduce calls and it has helped.  We're now averaging 200 fewer calls a day.  Soon we're implementing more changes and hope to reduce the number by another 100 a day.

Communication and allowing the staff to actively participate in change has directly affected morale in a positive way.  I am rarely at my desk and the section still runs pretty darn smoothly. Meaning, the staff respects their job and me and are showing their respect.  In return I respect them by sticking up for them when other people try and down talk them.  No one talks bad about my section without me confronting them in return.  The last thing we need is dissension.  With this mutual respect we are able to better function as a whole.

I promised staff we would hire new people to help on the phone bank and 3 new employees will start on March 3rd.  Hopefully a week after that we'll have a 4th person.  and a little after that a 5th.  I don't mess around.

In a nutshell should you ever become a manager, lay out your expectations first, open up communication with your staff.  If your staff wants to vent and cuss, let them.  Also let them know about boundaries.  Use their ideas and don't laugh at them or ignore them.  Be honest, and follow up on assigned tasks.  When you must, coach areas of opportunity for improvement or help them find another career path.  Never be an ass or arrogant.  Be respectful and they will respect you.  If you have their respect, they will want to work and work hard for you. 

I can honestly say I have been blessed with a really great group of people.  The amount of respect they have shown me is imeasurable and I couldn't be any more gracious or thankful for that.

8:18 PM - 26 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment

health and me
Category: Food and Restaurants

It was about this time las September that I was like, "Yeah, I'm going to achieve six pack abs!"  I hit the gym hard.  While I was already a person who frequented the gym; I decided to amp up my work out. 

For about a month I was doing alright.  My bench press increased, I was doing workouts I've never done before, I wasn't achieving six pack anything.  I was becoming a bigger version of myself.  I wasn't getting fat or anything.  I looked the same proportionately, just bigger. 

I can attribute this to the way I was eating.  First and foremost, never set a goal like six pack abs at the end of the year.  Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, demand you have everything but six pack abs.  It seemed I was lifting a fork for every bench press, squat, and sit up. 

I have to admit, though, that while I was eating my share and the share of a small village, I wasn't eating fast food.  In fact, I rarely hit fast food joints any more.  Well, I did eat at Wendy's this weekend.  On a side note, if someone from Wendy's home office is reading this, my wife is angry that you got rid of your freschetta sandwhiches.  I swear, she was shed tears.  You guys hurt her deep in her soul by removing those sandwhiches.  There wasn't an amount of ice cream or bon bons that could get her out of that funk.  Bring the sandwhiches back Wendys so that I might have some peace.

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, no fast food.  Well, this past month, I have now decided to amp up my eating habits to go along with the gym workouts.  I'm eating tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, salads, grapes, apples, oranges, and green leafy veggies.  Sure, some of you are going, "Big deal, I eat that stuff."  You don't understand.  For years I lived as if I were a wild carnivore.  I ate meat with a side of meat.  Of course, I lived with my parents back then.

Then there was that time when I lost 65 pounds the unhealthy way.  I ran...a lot.  I ate Wheaties for breakfast.  Not so bad you say.  Well for dinner I had chips, salsa, and beer.  It was the cheapest and funnest thing I could eat on a limited budget for about a year.  Then I got my promotions.  I learned my lessons. 

I learned that meat, tasty as it is, needs to be eaten in small portions with sides of salads.  I learned that drinking 3 beers a night isn't the best way to go and that water is my friend.  I still eat chips and salsa.  It's one thing I'm not letting go of. 

Hell, I like to think I inspired my brother to lose his 20 pounds over in Iraq.  Sure, you can say it has to do with shitty tasting Army food, but I like to think I had something to do with it.  Heck, even my mom is getting into the healthy kick.  You should try it too.

I'm not going to preach to you about unhealthy ways, I'd be a hypocrite if I did.  I just say, take care of yourself, and if you do eat what's considered crappy, just make sure you're enjoying yourself.  There's nothing worse than eating and not enjoying it. 

With that I say happy eating everyone, have a carrot on me.

5:31 PM - 24 Comments - 25 Kudos - Add Comment

Ethics in Economics
Category: Life

Yes, I know my blog is turning into this deep thought kinda thing all of a sudden, but it's the kind of stuff that rattles through my head.  Today, I'll talk about economic systems and why they always seem to fail.  Mostly it's centered around ours. 

Me, I personally believe that a free market is the way to go.  The basic principal being that  everything has a price and that supply and demand would balance everything.  This works well enough so long as there is an ethical system as its foundation.

With this in mind does this mean that ethical behavior has a price?  And that if ethical behavior becomes more scarce will people have to pay dearly just for ethics to continue to exist?  For as we all know, nothing is free.  Not even a "Free Market."

Think about it.  We supposedly leave in a society with a Free Market.  Yet, we have Bribery and lobbyist trying to ensure that only certain merchants and businesses are allowed to function.  So what we have then is not a system based on ethics, but rather market power, and the only people who can afford certain things tend to be of the upper scale.  Don't believe me, look at health care.  How many poor people can afford healthcare?

You can say that because we have elected officials and a judicial system things should be kept in check.  But who runs these systems?  People with money.  Over time the common people were told what works by rich people wishing to keep poor people poor.  More intelligent poor people could sue and try and change the system, but in the end both laws and their interpretation become commidities purchased by the highest bidders. Poor people couldn't change the system in the courts.  Eventually this leads to people demanding their government to impose more taxes on the richer segments of society to pay for things like public service, education, and healthcare.

What happens then is, the rich run begin to run society.  This system  doesn't fail right away because rich people are far from stupid.  What brings this kind of system down is that there isn't an ethical foundation on which it's based.  People begin to believe that ethics are relative to wealth.  Meaning, wealthy people (those running society) are perceived to have no ethics. Don't believe me, how many rich actors, athletes, politicians, and mobsters have gotten off, pretty much scott free, for their crimes?

Yet, it isn't just the fault of the rich people running society.  Part of the systems failure is common people unwilling to live up to their responsibilities.  Common people almost demand to be corrupted.  They don't realize it, but they do.  Common people wind up insisting that health care, education,  and public safety be paid for by the rich (perceived unethical people).  This doesn't work unless you allow the rich to get richer. When this happens common people wind up being stripped of a chance at excess riches.  They become angered and jealous and file claims for million and even hundreds of millions of dollars, often for trivial injuries.  These same people often don't vote for their legislative officials and then complain when the officials go against the common people's greater good.

What happens, then, is the law becomes a tool for economic events rather than an arbitrator between two parties.  The more law becomes a tool, in this fashion, people take it less seriously and they begin to take less responsibility for themselves.  This eventually leads to power being given to a few rather than people coming together as a whole society to determine the best way to run the society.  This leads to more problems, an unbalanced economic system that favors the rich, and gross injustice to the poor. 

This practically applies to all economic systems.  You can say Sir Thomas Moore's Utopia might be the answer, but then you're assuming people will never have ambition to do better for themselves.  It's a system based on Taylorism, people doing the least amount of work for the pay they are receiving.  This in and of itself is not ethical behavior.  Why would one person work tirelessly for the same pay as the person next to them if the person next to them is sleeping on the job?  Also, who runs this kind of society but a few rich people. 

In the end it's all the same and all societies eventually end because of their unethical behavior. 

3:06 PM - 13 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Morality

What exactly is morality? Some will say it's a code ofconduct in matters dealing with right or wrong.  Who determines what morality is?  General answers are society, religion, philosophy, and individual consience. These are all true.

Some people ask where morals come from.  That question usually ends up in a heated debate about which came first religion or morals.  I liken it to the whole chicken and egg debate but with a lot less wars. 

You see, the problem with religion in morals is that all religions have the same basic morals.  You know, the usual don't kill someone, don't steal, and wash your hands after you pee.  And yet, religion seems to get in the way of these morals. 

Most religions are centered around an invisible man who doesn't talk, show himself, or even hold you accountable in life.  He expects you to do right up until you die and then you are judged.  Then somewhere along the way people moved into different parts of the world and said their invisible man was cooler than everyone else's invisible man.  Of course everyone else refutes everyone else, and even though they have the same moral compass, they decide to kill each other.  In these fights, the morals take a back burner to the invisible man who wanted nothing more than people to get along and play nice to begin with.

Another line of thought involves athiests.  These people say they are moral for the hell of it.  After all, what penalty would they pay in death.  For them, there is life and nothing else.  Which is why I find it odd that they would just follow along with morals that are widely thought of as being of religious decent.  If you ask me, they don't want to be moral.  Why would they?  If there is no punishment in the afterlife, why not just live it up and do whatever while you have the time to do it?  The answer lies in morals are enforced.

Who gets to enforce morals?  Is it cops, armies, judges, or everyday people like ourselves.  Why do we enforce these codes of conduct on ourselves and others?  Is it because some invisible man told us we had to?  Maybe we do it because we're just programmed that way.  But who are we to push such codes of conduct on others.  No one wants religion shoved down their throat, but everyone wouldn't mind everyone else followed the 10 commandments of Judeo Christian writings.  What is it that we fear that keeps us in check?  Notice I didn't say respect, because if you look around there isn't a whole lot of respect going around these days. 

The funny thing about morals and ethics is that they seem to be going by the wayside. As the earth gets more populated and more people are beginning to play by their own rules morals seem to be losing their foothold.  Just because and invisible man or a cops says to or not do something isn't good enough any more.  Don't believe me, looks at the rates of theft, rape, and murder over the last 1000 years.  You can say the numbers have risen because of attrition, but then if we were moral creatures then these numbers would have never risen.

Maybe "once" we were a creature of morals and do-gooding.  Maybe Darwin had it wrong and we are de-evolving to the point where we will be thoughtless animals that rely on other things to much.  Mabye that whole Adam and Eve, Cane and Able thing has something to do with it. It just seems at the rate we're going  morals will no longer be enough to keep us in check.  I hope I am not around when that day comes.

8:24 AM - 21 Comments - 25 Kudos - Add Comment

What makes a good day?
Category: Life

I found some writings of my father the other day.  These were things he wrote for his creative writing class and one of the topics was what makes a good day?  Reading what he wrote got me to thinking, what makes a day seem good to me. 

For me good days don't start with alarm clocks.  With that in mind you can rule out days in which I have to work.  Don't get me wrong, my job is mentally challenging now and I'm not so bored that I am drooling on myself by 3 o'clock.  I just don't find spending 8 hours of my day listening to people piss and moan about Florida statutes all that exciting.  I do enjoy the people I work with, but they aren't what make my day good.

A good day for me starts when I wake up after the sun has risen, my cats aren't fighting, and my dogs aren't begging to be let out to pee.  This also means that the dogs haven't peed inside all night either.  Rather, I just roll over, soak in the warmth of the covers, feel the cool air on my face, and just contemplate about a whole bunch of nothing. 

I'd roll over and snuggle with my wife.  Sure it wakes her up for a minute, but she falls back asleep fairly easily.  I'd hold her and smell her hair because after she washes it, it always smells so fragrant. 

After a bit I'd feel the familiar grumbling in my tummy that always seems to growl, "FEED ME!"  I'd finally pull myself from the wonderfulness that is my bed and get up and make breakfast; a 2 egg omlet, some bacon, toast, and some milk to wash it all down.  Of course I'd make enough for two.  Sure this is what makes a day good for me, but trust me, a wife that isn't hungry is a happy wife, and that helps make for a good day.

After that, it's all open.  I'd want my day to not be rushed with deadlines and things I must do.  If I want to laze around, I laze around.  Who knows, I may want to go see a movie or a jog.  As long as I have the time to do those things when I want to do them, then alas, I'll have my perfect day. 

Well, I'd need more than just time.  Sure, I could see a movie or go jogging, but what good would it all be if I didn't get to spend that time with my wife.  Conversing with my wife is one of my most favorite things to do.  Granted, I can make her crazy sometimes.  I won't lie, sometimes a conversation with me can be quite the challenge, especially when I'm in a mood for questioning or just outright arguing the other side of an argument just for the sake of it.  I"m trying not to do that so much, but it just is so intellectually stimulating for me.  If you listened to what I listen to every day you'd understand.  Yet, I shouldn't put my wife through that and as I said, I'm trying to quit.  A frustrated wife doesn't help make for a good day, trust me. 

Then at the end of all of the day of being lazy, seeing movies, jogging, and chit chatting, I'm just ready to fall asleep and do it all over again.  If the next day is Sunday, you can bet your ass I will be doing it all over again.  It's the only 2 days of the week I truly get to enjoy unless it's a three day weekend. 

What makes a day good for you?

7:14 PM - 33 Comments - 33 Kudos - Add Comment

The Never Ending Life
Category: Life

Good evening everyone and how are you doing?  I do hope all is well with your worlds and that you're planning on waking up with a smile.  If you're not, then get with the program.  Turn that frown upside down and make something good of it.

Things going on in my life.  One, my mom just sold the house I grew up in and my father passed away in.  She lived there for 31 years and there's been more memories made in that house than I can count on all my fingers and your toes.  She sold it to the school board.  Guess what's going to happen to that house.  It's going to become a parking lot.  Guess the world is forever changing and it doesn't care about what you and I think about it.  But hey, Grog the caveman's tiki hut is probably someone's swank beach resort now.  Like I said, it all changes whether we want it to or not. 

Also, another new reason for my recent vanishing act.  I just got promoted.  I am now the supervisor of 12 people on a call center.  Let me tell you every day is an adventure.  Sure I never get bored, but I make up for it by not having time to get anything done.  Even at that pace, my boss pats me on the back and says, "You're doing swell!"  Maybe that person't sniffed a lot ether in the 60's, I don't know, but I'm not complaining.  I'm not saying I'm in over my head or anything, just the amount of work that this position has is enough to make a work-a-holic gasp.  It's all good.  I take it as it comes and just run with it.  I smile at the end of every day and it's the first time I've had a job where I didn't just run out of the building.  We'll see how long it lasts.

Next up is the first Christmas without my father.  I'm at that age where the magic of Christmas just doesn't seem as magical.  Don't get me wrong, I like me some Christmas.  I just don't feel that build up of waking up at 2 in the morning to see what Santa brought.  Still, I do enjoy the family get togethers, the holiday cheer, and I for some reason have always liked the crowd in the mall.  Hey, I"m not in retail any more, so it doesn't bother me, unless I'm in line and have to pee. 

With that I bid you all a good night.  Sorry, I left you on the image of me doing the pee pee dance, but I figured that was better talking about Republican and Democratic debates.  Yeah, I thought you would agree with that.  Night everyone.

7:00 PM - 35 Comments - 33 Kudos - Add Comment

So what’s up with me?
Category: Blogging

Where have I been?  Have I been on vacation?  No.  But I will be next week.  Has something terrible kept me away from writing?  Nope, that isn't it either.  Hell, something terrible would actually make for something awesome to write about *knock on wood*  Then just where have I been?  Why don't I write as much any more?

After nearly 2 years of writing 5 days a week you can say my mind has gotten a wee bit tired.  Coming up with ideas to write wasn't what stopped me.  Far from it.  To much happens every day for there not to be any subjects about which to write. 

There have been many factors contributing to my lack of writing.  One is my work.  They banned myspace so now I don't write my blogs in the morning and I can't ready anyone's blogs during the day.  Being as how I can't read blogs during the day I read them at night.  I don't always comment but I do read them.  I can honestly say it's hard to comment to about 35 blogs and write a content filled blog all in a small time frame. 

Also, I have to admit that I began blogging for the purpose of getting a lot of blog hits.  For a period there my blog just picked up steam and all of a sudden I had readers subscribing to my blog by the boat load.  I liked the attention and I got kind of addicted to it.  Sad?  Very. 

My blogs no longer were about things I really put thought into.  All I wound up doing was looking up some funny pictures and writing blogs around them.  I became a glorified caption writer for pictures.  My blogs weren't getting attention for what I was writing but rather what pictures I had posted.  I replaced witty satire and content blogs with blogs that only garned a drive by laugh or two. 

Sure people came by and read the blogs, but they were forgotten within a few minutes.  I'd rather write about something that not only makes a person smile, but also makes him/her think. 

So I do apologize for my lack of decent blogs.  I felt it best to step away from the writing board and read a little more.  With my time constraints as they are and as they are about to be it would be almost impossible for me to write 5 days a week, and read and comment on blogs. 

I do hope you all continue to read my blog, just know that it will not be on its regular 5 day a week schedule.  Maybe 2 days a week.  I'll try that.  For now, I say thank you for reading and have a great evening. 

6:53 PM - 42 Comments - 46 Kudos - Add Comment

Get Rich Quick
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Ok everyone I have finally figured out how to get rich and get rich quick at that.  I presume that I have you attention now.  With that let's get to making some money.

Have you ever watched tv and paid attention to the commercials?  If not, I have, and what I have learned may shock you.  Beside an advertisement for a car, new movie, or even a show, there's really only 3 types of commercials that exist.  You have the erectile disfunction, hair loss, and weight loss drug commericals.

Watching these commercials I have learned that the product you're selling doesn't actually have to really help you deal with any of these problems.  I'm serious.  Have you ever seen any large person eat a pill and suddenly have six pack abs?  That's what I thought.

For Erectile Disfunction (E.D) I have come up with this.  Write a book about how rubbing onions on your scrotum will cure E.D.  All you'd have to do is pay some Dr. to say yes, onion juice on the scrotum has proven to help alleviate E.D.  Of course you'd have to make the purchaser buy your onions.  The buyer doesn't need to know you got the onions out of your local grocery store.  Heck, the person just wants his love stick to work again, he'll try anything.  If he wouldn't these commercials wouldn't be on tv.  Picture it, he's locked in a room and his wife says, "God, why does it smell like onions?"  the husband replies, "It doesn't smell like onions, it smells like heaven.  Everything is alright and in a little bit so will you."  Yes, my friends, it's a sure hit.

For hair loss I'm going way old school.  I say this in that old people always told me that if I had atheletes foot or some sort of wound that I should have my friends Pee on me.  Just write a book describing how the PH level in your friend's pee can help regrow your own hair.  In the book you'd need a really cool made up math equation demonstrating the science behind the pee and hair.  Just chuck in some letters with the cube symbol and maybe a few intergrals as well and people will think you are smarter than they are and just believe what you say.  Their buddy's pee is your forturne.

Lastly I say just buy some flinstone vitamins, sand paper the faces, change the name and say it will help a person lose fat.  Of course you'll need to take a picture of a large person and then photoshop that person's head onto the body of a model and say it was your pills that did the trick.  That alone will make people flock to your pills.  I know this because we live in a fat society that wants to be skinny but not put in any effort to get skinny.  It would also help if you base your company in a country that isn't affected by U.S. taxes and doesn't have extradition.

Good luck making your fortunes everyone.

3:38 PM - 39 Comments - 36 Kudos - Add Comment

A fun trip
Category: Life

So the one year anniversary trip went pretty well.  Here's a basic recap of what happened. 

After an hour of driving, Amelia and I realized we forgot the themepark tickets and had to turn around.  For a couple of people who were tired and hungry this made for an interesting hour drive home.  We survived it, got some grade A dinner at Taco Bell and were back on the road.

Four hours later we arived in Tampa.  Our reservation was for the Quality Inn.  This place was more like the Not So Quality Inn.  As it turned out our hotel was the place where other visitors liked to talk about what kind of sex they had at 2 in the morning.  Really, I can' t make that up.  There were people, outside our room, talking about how jiggly each other's asses were during certain positions. 

The next morning we went to Bush Gardens.  My wife had never been and she liked it ok.  The coasters were fun, but we can tell we're not 16 any more.  Certain costers hurt us; mainly the wooden ones.  Luckily they had free beer and that some how made everything ok.

The next morning we were in such a hurry to leave this hotel that we nearly forgot our anniversary cake.  Luckily we had the hotel staff go back in there and open the room for us.  When we got to Orlando, however,we realized that we had forgotten our pillows in Tampa.  Oh well, hopefully someone gets some good use out of them.

In Orlando we stayed at a resort hotel.  More like half the hotel was a resort.  The other half was more like the not so Quality Inn.  I say this because they had an old building and a "Delux" building.  Guess which building we were in?  That's right, the old building.  Even the hot tub was out of commission.

Oh well what can ya do?  We toughed it out.  The next Day we went to Sea World and this was a lot of fun.  We fed Dolphins, seals, and for my wife's first time, she fed sting rays.  This was funny as she was all scared, but I pretty much goated her into feeding some sting rays.  As it turned out she enjoyed it.  We also saw some shows and we partook in more free beer. 

That night we celebrated by feeding each other the traditional one year anniversary cake.  Whoever came up with this idea should be dug up and kicked in the face.  One year old frozen cake tastes a lot like what you might find in a sewar.  MMM MMM tasty.  But we did it, and had fun with it.

I know I make it sound like the trip was a bad trip but it was far from bad.  We had a lot of fun despite all of these crazy things that happened.  I look forward to many more trips like this with my wife...minus the crazy hotels and sex talk by strangers at 2 in the morning. 

1:57 PM - 32 Comments - 34 Kudos - Add Comment