New mom and dad
Category: Life

Well, I had just a few moments of daddy time and I thought I'd post an update on how our lives have been going.  I can just say a few things, 1 Having a baby 24/7 is absolutely nothing like I thought it'd be.  There's no preparing for it and it's simply get through each day.  At least now, Daddy has developed the ability to help Jack get to sleep.  At first, it was really easy for me, being the booboo magic mama, but he quickly developed an immunity to that.  He slept all the time while my parents were here, then he developed all this gassy/reflux problems.   (I'm so glad I'm nursing him, formula makes it worse usually).  I know it's not his fault that he has these issues, but sometimes, it's really hard to deal with.  Plus it makes me feel really badly for him when it gets to a point where there's really nothing else we can do for him.  I hate seeing him suffer.

2 I have totally eaten every judgmental word I ever spoke over moms and their babies/sons.  Everything I stood firm on, I have broken, like sleeping in the basinet, putting him in the swing, just letting him cry when he's in the carseat (I have vowed not to go anywhere in my car because the seats are slanted and makes him all cockeyed and sitting up too high).  Daddy's car is much better and even though he doesn't really like it very much, he does a lot better in it.  So, until his neck muscles develop or my soft heart toughens up, we'll stay home.  It works so much better for us to go places together and it really does take two (or more) to raise a baby. 

I know that I will look back on this time and miss it one day, but although I love him and I love taking care of him, it's been kind of hard and much harder than I had anticipated.

The up side is that he's starting to smile (mostly in his sleep) and he really could be much more fussy, much more often, so we don't have it that bad.  He's very strong and can practically sit up, but he doesn't have the ability to stop himself once he's up (we start from a raised position, not flat on his back).  He scoots himself around when I change his diady (diaper) and sometimes can roll himself onto his side if he can get a hold of something. 

Breast feeding was great at first, but now, he's getting big and positioning is really difficult because I can't keep a hold of him in the crook of my elbow.  This happened much faster than I anticipated.  I guess I never gave it that much thought, but this is kind of cute because he gets comfy and is super cute with his feet up or something.  He is getting super long super fast and I can already feel myself being nastalgic about the first few days of his life.  I'll breastfeed as long as it's healthy for him and as long as he'll do it.  We had to give him a bottle for the first time last night with some pedialite for his intestines.  Restoring his electrolites a bit and all.  My milk supply is all over the place depending on how much he eats and I am looking forward to it being more steady and trustworthy.  The gas causes him to eat a lot because his tummy hurts and that makes him think he's hungry, so he eats more, then he spits the extra back up and my breasts don't know that he didn't keep all of it down.  I'm sure it'll all work out in a few months and I'll  be more of a "professional" feeder. 

I guess because of the bad weather on the coast, we've been getting a very quick and cool fall, which is very weird for here.  Usually, the nights are in the high 60's and the days are still fairly summery, high 80's, but we've had some low 60's and we're really not prepared for such cool weather.  I'm in my sweatshirt for the first time today and that usually doesn't happen until late October. 

The dogs are tolerating the baby well, but not liking the extra crate time for naps.  I'm hoping that we can start letting them run around out back soon.  If the weather keeps cool and my garden stops producing, there really isn't any reason they couldn't enjoy being outside a bit.  They're not outside dogs, but it's the reason we have the fence and they are each others' best company.  I've tried to get them to play outside to save the carpet, but it has never taken. 

We're planning a few trips in the coming months to see family.  We'll be spending one weekend in Indiana after 10-15 to see my dad and have the baby dedicated at his church.  Then, we're going to Illinois to see my in laws for Thanksgiving.  I'm really looking forward to it and to getting out of the house and going somewhere.  Usually traveling over holiday weekends and short weekend trips are very exhausting and I'd rather not, but after being cooped up in the house for weeks, I'm hoping it will be enjoyable. 

It's time for refueling, I'm actually a very proud mom and I hate to even say it's anything other than immensely enjoyable, because it is.  I love seeing him grow each day and begining to recognize us and become comfortable as our son.  I know it'll all smooth out in a few months and six months from now, I'll miss these days so much it'll break my heart.  So, we just have to get through and take as many naps as possible.  : )

6:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Jack

Our new bundle of joy has finally arrived!  Jack Henry Bacus was delivered by C-section on August 15th, 6:07pm.  He was 7lbs, 15 oz and 21 inches long.  He's doing well with breast feeding and putting on weight.  We're completely blessed to have my parents visiting so we've had lots of help. We're enjoying having him here.  The emotions of birth are subsiding and we're settling in here at home.  Hope you're all well, stay posted for pics!

4:38 AM - 7 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Feeling

I'm feeling a bit better, but at moments still have a lot of pinching and pain.  I can't wait until Friday to meet our new baby, but I'm okay in the meantime.  I have false labor all the time which is hard, but maybe my body will catch on and turn it around.  Sometimes I feel I could go any second, then I feel fine.  I'm having tons of nausea in the morning.  More than I experienced my whole first trimester.  It makes me a bit miserable, but a little sprite and something to put into my tummy and I'm better.  Noon hits and I'm all better.  I have to be up early tomorrow, so I'm hoping it won't be so bad.  Hope everyone's well.  The baby seems to be doing well and I'll have tons of appts tomorrow to make sure.  Take care...

6:22 AM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I just heard
Category: News and Politics

I just heard that Bernie Mac died.  That's quite a shocker.  I hear about older actors dying and I don't feel quite the connection because I didn't watch the movies of their generation.  But, when I've enjoyed someone's work and those actors die, especially young, regardless of the circumstances, I'm very shocked and sad about it.  Like John Ritter and Heath Ledger.  I understand their lifestyles may not have been promotive of a long full life, but I still think it's sad that we'll never be able to enjoy any new work by them in the future. 

4:30 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Update
Category: Blogging

Well, I guess this is the way it goes when pregnant.  Baby gets all ready to come, sees the light at the end of the "tunnel" and decides he's all warm and cozy and well taken care of in there and refuses to come out.  Then, the dr. decides he can't induce you according to "plan" and you have to wait another week, but the hospital doesn't have any available inductions for two weeks and you absolutely no bones about it have to be delivered by midnight on the 15th. 

It doesn't do much good to complain.  There's nothing I can do on my feet because I experience false labor which I'd rather not even be privy to if it isn't doing any good anyway.  Merely going to the bathroom makes my stomach rigid.  Walking around works for some but really doesn't do anything but make me hurt more.  They don't do take home pain meds and I wouldn't take them if they did anyway.  This was my original point about epidurals, you have to labor for weeks sometimes with no relief or end in sight.  At least when you deliver, there's a definite end in sight. 

Today, we were supposed to schedule my induction, I was miserable all weekend, house bound, pretty much, without even the inclination to want to cook/eat (which is pretty rare for me).  I want to clean the house, but just vaccuuming landed me in the hospital with an IV last week (no delivery).  Hospital stays without delivery is one of the worst experiences I've ever been through, minus tragedy, of course.  I don't want to be ungrateful and I love our baby, but he is an "infant" now and is totally acting like an infant but still inside.  When the oxytocin kicks in, there's extra anxiety and I kind of wonder if he feels the anxiety as well.  He has been down in the birthing position for weeks and we'd been praying that he'd just make it to 37 weeks.  Thank God, we made it, but now all of a sudden, he's decided not to be in birthing position anymore and he'd rather explore his inner sanctum, maybe redecorate. 

I can go on and on, but really what it boils down to is complaining.  It's the cycle of life, the way it is, billions of pregnancies have gone this way in the past and will continue in the future.   I guess I won't kid myself next time into believing all the you know what (enter explitive) about preterm labor they were spitting out for the last two months.  I'm going to be looking into accupuncture induction, but I'm a little concerned about the process and if it really works.  God is the ultimate inductionier and He knows exactly what needs to happen, so it's hard at this point to think I'm anything but just a vessel and it's really not about me at all.  Supposedly, I'll definitely be induced next Thursday, the 15th, but who knows, if anything happens in the meantime...

9:05 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Yesterday

Yesterday was a really wonderful day.  First we had our ultrasound, twice a week, per the norm, everything as usual, going well.  We stayed for a consult and they scolded me nicely for not taking my sugars like I'm supposed to.  I figured at this point, what's the point?  It's the few weeks of my life I can eat whatever I want (within reason) and not stress it.  I really am already as big as they get.  He was so big and the dr. said that there's a fake growth hormone that can occur even when my sugar is under control.  I was like, then why am I stressing it!  Which btw, he has slowed down in growth, still likely to be 8-9 lbs, but probably not over 9 (but who knows, he'll weigh what he weighs when he's born).  So, back to checking sugars again, which is fine with me.

Then, we went to Boscos, to try something new and I had a wonderful early meal of a pear and gorgonzola salad (raspberry vinegrette-very yummy) and we tried some calamari, also very good.  We had a nice time, then I went to my friends' house because she was having a pampered chef catalog party.  Well, I was able to order the pampered chef, but I got out there and they surprised me with a baby shower.  For those who didn't know, mine was great, I was just being monitored at the hospital for the first 2+ hours while everyone else was here at the house playing games (which was cool, it worked out).  I was very touched that she would do something so nice for me and boy was I an easy surprise-thought nothing of it.  Plus, I got my mandolin and the PC spices, which are surprisingly really really good spice mixes. They gave us some outfits. swaddle blankie, bibs, etc and Sarah got me a "mother" piece of art.  It's a pretty earthy pregnant lady with a poem on her "back".  It's really beautiful.  I was totally not suspecting a thing.  Supposedly back a while ago, she asked to talk to my hubby and said she was asking him about a movie (The Hulk), well that was code for surprise baby shower.  It was nice and we had good food and cake and I got to see her sister who lives in Texas and was in town, who is also pregnant.  It was a great day and night. 

Her son wanted to "talk" so we ended being up really late talking with him, calmly about his issues.  I don't know if he really was listening or if he just was sucking the attention from us, but he can't accuse me of not listening and engaging him with some alternative methods to help him with his issues.  It was emotionally draining, which reminds me of how talks like that take so much out of you.  He had a lot of valid things to say and I think they weren't just founded in anger, but the way he wants things to work out isn't realistic, being from a teen's point of view.  When we were coming up, my brother always wanted to just sit with the adults and listen to them.  He'd sit quietly most of the time, but he just wanted to feel like he was part of what was really going on, the meeting of the minds.  When our parents weren't even talking about anything important, just playing cards and talking you know what.  He was there absorbing it all, just to feel like he was "an adult" or "one of them".   Her son reminds me of just this.  He didn't care what we were talking about, just that he was included in the scheme of things and was privvy to the decisions.  Very first born behavior, I think, but still, not sure how that works or what to do with it.  At least we talked, he was able to be heard, not just appeased and I think I gave some valid suggestions, take it or leave it, for him to think about ways to deal with his issues.  Who knows if he'll take it or not, but that's up to him.  There's always a perfect world scenario, but we have to realize that the perfect scenario isn't realistic, but there's something really doable that's is very close and just as satisfying in order to find some happiness.  I hope they figure something out for him, he really does have an equally sweet side to offset his problem side, but it doesn't get to be seen because of all the daily issues that not affects him, but everyone around him. 

So, it was a really great day, time went by very quickly and before you know it it was 2am and I was driving home.  Of course, with the wickedest case of heartburn, because my tums were here and I was there, so now I'm sitting up, hoping the acid will settle or leave me so I can get some more sleep.  : )

5:36 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

35 weeks tomorrow!

Whohoo!  We made it to 35 weeks!  Now if we can just make it the next two weeks, I'll be happy.  If anyone wants to pick dates, feel free, it won't bother me.  I'm picking either July 31st or August 1st.  A lot of kids in my family are born on the 5th, but I'm feeling sooner rather than later.  Of course, I'm feeling it now, so who's to say.  He's fully developed, he'll get his sucking reflex this week and he'll be free from RSV risk, so I'm happy at this point.  : )  If my blood pressure stays normal, it'll all be good...

My tomatoes are finally growing and in the next few (maybe 4) weeks, I'll have green beans and okra.  I'll be trying to can and freeze soon enough. 

I've frozen and will continue to freeze things for us to eat all through August, so we don't have to cook while adjusting to parenthood.  We have enough for a few weeks now, but I want to freeze some breakfast food too.  At least my hubby will be home the first week, so we can hand off the baton for several things.  He may not like it much, but we'll get used to it.  : )  Feel free to leave me any advice you think is valuable.  We've taken classes, a bunch of them, and I've read loads of books, but practical experience can outway booksmart sometimes...  : )

When we get back from the hospital, I'll post pictures!  I may blog between now and then, but just in case...  : )

8:03 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

If I thought I couldn’t get any bigger...

Well, I did and still have at least 3 weeks to go! Four before the dr will schedule me a delivery.  The baby is still very large and pretty much off the charts in growth.  He and my belly only get bigger everyday, so I assume he's still at it in there.  Some days, it's all I can do to stand up on my own.  My husband has to roll me and push and pull me to get me going.  If he gets to be over 9 pounds, my dr suggests a C-Sec.  After all we've done to get him here, that's fine with me as long as he's healthy, whole and alive.  He loves to push down on my pelvis so we may not get to a full three weeks from now.  It's so sweet when they find a foot hold in there.  He gave me only one footprint on my belly one day.  It faded fairly quickly though and luckily didn't bruise.  He already shows a very unique personality.  They check him on ultrasound twice a week to make sure he's moving good and they say he has big feet.  They're approximately 2 and 1/2 inches so far.  Two weeks ago I was 47 and 1/2 inches around.  So, I'll probably see at least 50 inches before it's all over with.  From the front, I don't look very big at all, he's caused my belly to just be very round, but from the side view, people gasp.  It's funny.  I really don't mind, the bigger I am now, the smaller I'll seem to myself after I deliver.  It's part of the deal.  I was all big before getting my medical conditions figured out (nowhere this big though) and I had stretch marks and they mostly went away after a while.  I'll just keep on the vitamin E and almond oil.  I also have the miracle Mary Kay stretch mark/cellulite/vein reducer lotion, so as soon as I can safely use them, I definitely will be.

Not much else is going on with us.  The dogs are being better behaved.  Buddy still has his days where he's sneaky and does everything bad, but then, he gets into trouble a bit and he's better for a while.  Today he was in my cantaloups with all fours.  Seemed like he had one foot on each plant.  Afterward it was funny, but during, I was very upset with him.  A good flick of the garden hose and he was out of there like a flash.  My strawberries have grown well, but there seems to be a rabbit or something coming by and eating them before I can get to them, so I may never get one.  He had eaten practically 20 of them one day, leaving only stains on the stems where he had slowly licked each morsel from it's plant.  Bad bunny.  Green beans seem to be doing really well, whereas my bell peppers don't seem to be doing anything but staying green.  Tomatoes, okra and cucumbers are okay and the pickling cucs are trying their best to get some root.  The radishes are growing fairly well too but the cantaloup isn't.  Zucchinni and squash are growing well, but not putting out any fruit yet.  So, we'll see if I ever get any fresh fruit and veggies this year.  We can keep them going until November if need be though, so there's plenty of time.  Just not plenty of patience. They're a much better looking garden than I have ever had before too. 

Hopefully, the next news I have to post will include pictures of the baby.  My dr. said he'd deliver me anytime after Thursday that I was actually in labor, so we'll see.  I'd rather wait until somewhere around July 29th, being a full moon and all, loads of people go at that time.  But, he'd be perfectly fine to be born anytime.  Only God knows when he'll come out and the baby will know when the time comes.  I can only wish and hope because it's really not up to me. 

8:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Another baby update

I'm trying my best to stay positive so bear with me here!  We had another ultrasound to monitor the baby's growth yesterday and now he is as big as it gets-99th percentile (he's nearly 5 lbs already).  He just hopped right up there.  They will continue to do ultrasounds every week and make sure my girlie parts are hanging in there as well.   I was cool with 92nd percentile, but 99th is a bit unnerving, but I know that God is in control and will work every detail out and we will have an alive, healthy, whole baby in about 5-7 weeks.  We'll be talking over our options for delivery with my dr. this week.  The concern, according to our high risk consult dr. is that big babies can sometimes have less than mature lungs, so we're praying that his lungs will mature quickly, completely and healthy well before he's born.  We may opt to do amnio for lung maturity, or maybe the ultrasounds will show more each week.  My size measures what I am which is 31 weeks.  His size measure 34 weeks.  I suppose that's why I've been less than comfortable.  We'll ask about that little fact as well. 

Our biggest praise is that he is healthy and coming along as expected for his gestational age.  He's just very very big.  Big babies are on both sides of my family too, so maybe that's where he gets it from?  The dr. explained it that sometimes the pregnancy hormones can send high doses of a "fake" growth hormone to the baby which tells him to grow, grow, grow, so he does.  I figure if we ever have a twin pregnancy in the future, I'll be prestretched and physically prepared for it.  We're still shooting for a regular birth, but if his approximate weight reaches 9 and a half lbs, I'm opting for the safer route of cesarean.  Not for my comfort but for his safety.  I thought I would be spared a 40 week sized belly, but looks like I'll get one one way or the other.  Hey, we got him in there, just gotta get him out at some point. 

The last ultrasound we did showed him to be transverse still (to the side).  So, we came home and prayed that he would turn and be head down and what do you know, he's been head down for the past two weeks. 

I'm still working on his crossstitched blanket (very intricate) and hope to get it done soon.  I have 3 other quilts to sew for him.  The nursery is painted and aired out.  Looks quite nice, sage green.  It's still pretty empty with just a twin bed and basinet in there right now.  I have some Thumper pictures to scan and get printed out for some decoration.  I'm just framing them, there's not a lot of Thumper things around.  We don't want to do any wallpaper or anything.  D has already painted the room twice and we're hoping to get through several years and maybe even a few more babies before he paints it again.  So, framed pictures and a shelf is enough.  I'm slowly getting everything breakable boxed up and put in the garage, plus heavy books and miscellaneous clutter so there's less to baby proof when the toddler attacks.  I'm far too attached to knick knacks anyway.  My goal is for each room to have its furniture in it and everything else chest height or higher.  The DVD rack will be much tougher to figure out though.  I just don't want to be reshelving DVDs three times a day or more. 

I'm also trying to purge my life of negativity.  Anything negative has got to go.  It may even mean letting some people in my life go as well.  Being that I'm not in the most comfortable demeanor or physique these days, I have to be uplifting and overly positive just to stay afloat.  Those who drag me down will have to drown on their own for a while.  Unless they're family and even with family I don't have to be knee deep in drama.  Still love them, but I'll be better to focus on what's in store for us for the near future and keep my mind on the up and up. 

9:11 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Interesting week

Well, I'm bound and determined to be positive and enjoy being pregnant.  This week was a hard one to do, but I'm still kicking and so is the baby!  I guess during the last trimester, the baby gets up and squishes the lungs to the back and this can cause some respiratory problems. So, I had some breathing issues on Wednesday night and had to go down to the emergency room again.  I was just wheezing and having trouble breathing, but I had something in my throat that was bleeding.  They never did figure out what it was, just irritation and then exacerbated by taking Heparin is the best explanation we got.  Really, I was just there to be tested for clots and bleeding issues, make sure everything was still normal.  Since this all happened in the evening, the ER was our only choice, unfortunately.  I still have a burning sensation in my bronchial tube (or whatever is there) but I can breathe better (they gave me a breathing treatment).  I suppose all that is just due to the pregnancy.  No serious lung issues, no clots, no free bleeding. 

So, the next day, I had to go in and see my OB and he wanted to have the baby monitored for a few hours and do a quick ultrasound to check on the baby and my girlie parts he occupies.  My husband had been up until 2am the night before and had mandatory meetings on Thursday, so I gave him a pass on the monitoring.  So, yesterday, I spent the afternoon in a drafty gown listening to the baby's heartbeat.  Which I like to do, but I just figure if my dr. wants to do it, I'll just follow his orders and be a good girl.  I suppose since the baby is a bit big, I'm having "irritability" but no contractions that I know of in the past few weeks.  Been pretty consistent with drinking 110-140 oz of water each day and sipping water all night long every time I get up to go to the bathroom.  Which is about every hour at least.  I lay down every afternoon for "romper room" time so he can get in a good kick or two.  I have to feel 10 movements every two hours, so by the time I get to 10, I'm asleep.  He still pelts me a few good ones during the night and sometimes I wake up.  Last night he got me dead in the bladder and I about jumped up out of bed.  I was having a dream of getting hit there at the same time and I was really weirded out for a while.  He's running out of room quickly and is making more visible movements where it looks like someone has their hand under my shirt.  If I wear something more snug, it's very obvious.  I haven't had anyone freak out in public about it, but as it gets more obvious, I might wig some 7 year old out at the grocery store or something. 

I'm down to 6-8 weeks to go.  They will let me go ahead and deliver anytime after the next four weeks, but I won't feel completely comfortable about it until 6 more weeks.  I know it has nothing to do with how comfy I am but I want him to be as healthy as he can and be able to be kept in with me and not in the NICU. 

I did find out good news and that is that I'm not a gestational diabetic.  I just have a little sugar intolerance, at least for right now and the baby's pancreas isn't being overworked, more than likely.  Which is a good sign he won't have to have glucose water after he's born. 

Harley, our big dog had to go into the vet today for x-rays.  Very very expensive x-rays, I might add, but I'm really glad we did it.  As it turns out, she doesn't have hip displaysia at all.  However, the limping and gimping is due to a torn ligament in her knee.  The vet said they usually see this in sports dogs that do competitions and such.  I suppose it's from playing with Buddy and trying to be a "puppy" as he does.  We have to give her some doggie ibuprofen for a while and find some glucosamine that is in gelcaps.  I feel badly for her, and it is expensive stuff, however, if it really does help, at least there's something we can do about it.  With hip displaysia, there's nothing short of replacement you can do and she'd have to be immobilized for six months and that makes the treatment worse than the problem.  So, we'll see how it works out.  She had to be put under and that made her very groggy all evening.  She did eat, but when she thought she'd be able to get up and walk around, beg for food and stuff, she quickly found out that the world really is in perpetual motion and she was feeling it.  Dan stayed by her side all night and kept her lying down.  If we weren't right with her, she wanted to try to get up and stagger around and it was making her eyes weep and droop and she looked just pitiful.  Hopefully tomorrow, she'll be a whole bunch better.  Poor baby. 

While she was gone, Buddy was very anxious about where his sissy was.  He got down to play with her and she wasn't there.  So, he actually minded me somewhat today.  He cuddled with me instead of stepping on me, which was nice.  I saw that it wasn't such a bad idea to seperate them a bit, maybe it will help him grow up a little have less seperation anxiety.  We'll see.  He was quite funny and ran to the window a lot. The minute she got home, he was whining to go down and see her, so he did.  He had to thoroughly sniff her and try to engage her in a play fight, which she was too slow to even try.  He didn't seem to care for her being all doped up either.  She only had eyes for her mom though.  She needed a bit of babying and I wiped her eyes, poor babied her a bit, rubbed her ears and had her lay down so Dan could sit with her.  I mentioned that we might want to keep them apart when Dan works from home so they could work on their co-dependency. 

Tomorrow, we have our first baby class.  Labor and Delivery at 10am.  I'm taking a broken up, build your own class schedule so I can get more of what I want out of the information to be learned.  That way we could take baby care, breastfeeding and infant CPR as well.  I've heard lamazze is really harder on you than it's worth because a lot of women don't get the focus part of the class but get the hehe hoho part and end up hyperventalating and not breathing properly.  So, I'd rather just skip that part and know that I can be relaxed and breathe deeply and adequately when the time comes.  We'll get some coaching for Dan tomorrow and info he'll need as well.  We've picked out a pediatrician, have our pre-registration papers completed, my bag is ready, and after the next two weeks, we'll have our baby classes out of the way and the baby shower.  After that, we'll have to be serious about getting a crib and odds and ends we'll need.  Time really has flown by and each day quickly passes, but when you're counting each day one by one, time can seem to drag on even though you're busy.  It's conceptual....  : )

9:25 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment