FAKE PROFILE
Current mood: scared

hello its been a while, i was going to writing something
but i've been busy and not so GENKI.

there is a funny thing i would like to share.
that i just found a poser who is trying to be me
or pretend to be like me .... oh  this is sick.
its the profile i found http://www.myspace.com/ladysnowblood2

all i can say is A FUCKING WOW
its quite hilarious that there are people who want to be me
but at the same time i think i am a loser and i hate myself
its scary huh, if human can really  " steal the others "
maybe i am stolen already as i dont treasure myself that much.
WOW , i think from now on i should love myself more eh ;)

this person copied all my pics and my blog posts,
copied all the forms i wrote everything about me.
almost all of the description of pics were written by me from my page
except the default pic he/she set
and the original description became the user name of the fake profile
" HEHEHE " or whatever ... i even forgot what i wrote !
he/she stole everything, my brother, my friends, my boyfriend ...
hey ! now you really make me go hahahah.

fucking idiot, he/she posted a blog
which is as the same title i wrote about i am finally in a relationship
and he/she posted it in MAY 2008,
ridiculous enough, me and boy got together in LAST YEAR
thanks for reminding people that i am STILL IN THIS RELATIONSHIP huh.
thank you so so so very very very much
lately me and my boy are quite down and its what you dont know - I WIN !

OK, IMPOSTORS ! its enough, game over
since many many years ago, there were already people
who stole the literatures i posts on the internet
and tried to pretend they wrote them.
i didnt know this kinda person still exist nowaday
DONT COPY THIS POST haha
you need to see a doctor.
and i hope you will be youself as soon as possible
i might like the real you tho, who knows ?

--

by the way, people ... good luck to me and my boy huh
this low tide lasts for too long, it seems like forever.
and good news is next month my band will be having a show
yeah ! first show after the two year break !
if you guys are in taipei please come and drink with me ;)

4:58 PM - 10 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

in a relationship

well, i think i am fuck'n finally in a relationship.

10:58 PM - 7 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

300
Current mood: anxious

This summer sucks.

 

I work too hard and there comes too much pressure. The hyperthyroid is getting serious, and I think my throat is dying now, I found some polypus inside my throat and I don't know what cause that. I will go to see a doctor today.

 

My birthday is coming soon,

its annoying me every year.

 

Anyway I am getting my first tattoos in few weeks, I want to ink myself with a number which is important to me. Actually it's the code of International Classification of Diseases. After few times of editing, it's the version 10 now. But i ain't sure about the differences anyway. Its just a number, a number with stories.

 

 

10 years ago I got a ticket to play, to play in an amusement park which I call " La Folie " after I read a book about it. So since I got the ticket, I've been playing for 10 years now. The " La Folie " park is somewhere not that fun, you actually won't say yes when someone you love begging " I wanna go! ", I don't think anyone would beg for that either. I am still playing, I feel quite tired already; but the exit can't seem to be found anymore.

 

 

Its like, every night I have to take the overdriving roller coasters and I got looped and looped, and it comes to the top I can feel like my heartbeat stopped for a while and then beat so hard, it seems like the whole world could hear my heartbeat. " DON. DON. DON. " and then I rush in to a big crash, I die in a roller coaster crash every night. And there goes the splendid merry-go-round of bravery; I got to round with it, round, round, round and round until I puke. Everyone seems to far away, they said I couldn't smile anymore. Smiling breaks my heart, all the view I see in my eyes are black and white, and all the livings are seem to die. The scars on my arms are the sigils I collect, every time I touched the limit, they gave me a point. And in " La Folie " I got a lot of colorful candies to eat.

 

 

About " La Folie ", YOU who live in this society that's full of Semeiology call it mental disorders, and some of your bad mouths call it psycho, psycho is a good word now tho. At the beginning I didn't know how to demarcate it, I just know I am in another world now. The world has a transparent wall that you cant see. But you will feel it when you arrive the limit, you will smell it when you're too close. I call it a set of happy meal, like in McDonalds you know.

 

 

So 10 years ago, while all my friends were ready to have fun with their adolescence, I started to make friends with doctors in the hospitals. I didn't go to school that often since then, I used to received lotsa postcards and letter from postmen. " Come out and play ! " but it's a game to play alone. One day 10 years ago, before I left the surgery I saw a list of numbers on the desk and that was when I found those of mine. From that second I realized, it's a label stamped on my back. I am from now on stigmatized. And here I am still playing, I feel like a long trip, I feel like something in the corner was enlarged too much and exploded.

 

 

I am always praying that there's someone could save me, like a prince. But no one could take me back to the old days before I got that ticket to play, the doctors can't, the candies can't, even the music can't. But music saved me many times, I couldn't find the exit but by degrees I found my way to walk on the dangerous alameda in " La Folie ". that's was while I began to write a lot about it. And when I started listening to punk and mosh in shows.

 

 

I am not saved, I am not okay, I am still inside the park, still afraid every day. There's still too much I can't forget, its always in the progressive tense. But I started to smile after became a punk. Maybe it's a magic, a trick the thaumaturge made. Maybe it's the candies, I've been taking too many candies that ease me temporary, 10 years passed by, the candies make me an idiot. Maybe that's why I know how to smile now ? I don't know. I know too less.

 

 

So maybe it was a summer about something happened 10 years ago. I forgot the time. But all I know is 10 years passed by, I am so shocked about it. 10 years is even more than a million day. 

 

I will be 22 years old on 31^st August, and on the same date my brother will be 18 years old. I'd like to say happy birthday to me and my brother a bit earlier here.

Happy birthday.

12:21 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

are you on my friend list ?

i joined three parties last weekend, had a real fun and met some cool kids. the second party was at a famous club in downtown taipei city called Luxy, i didnt particularly like it there, i was in a dazed, music sucked and i couldnt really dance. but there were probably a thousand of people i guess ? mah, so called weekend huh. anyway, a new friend told me she heard some people talking about they recognize me as i am on their myspace friend list, but i dont even know who they are.

its usual for me, when me and friends hangout and stuff.
" hey lately we start a band ..." said friends.
" oh yea ? whats the name ?  "
" xxxxx "
" sounds nice ! do ya have a page on myspace then i could check you out ? "
" yeah ... hey Sharkie i think you on already on our top 8 ... "
"  ............. oh yea ???? "
anyway, shit like these

i mean, i got no idea why i got almost 9000 friends on my list nowaday, i am here for few years. and every single day, i got at least average 15 friend requests to approve; i sign in so often ! but everytime i sign in, i got friend requests. sometime i approve all the requests, sometime i check back profiles. i send requests too, but the requests i got freaked me out all the time.

i DO know many people on my list in REAL LIFE (?) as well, but sometime when i want to talk with a friend on my list, its even too difficult to search on my list, i got to search page by page, hundreds of pages until my computer fucked up, and i got to sign in again to search until i went nut. and then, i would be lucky enough to find my friends' pages.

so you might advise .. .
"  why dont you delete some people ? "
if i should delete some people, where should i start anyway ?

or should i try to message to all the people on my list
and try to know them all ?
maybe most of them dont even give a fuck,
who fucking does anyway ?
actually most of them think the same as me i bet ?
" i didnt know you are on my list either, Sharkie "

aint it ironic ?
i got a lot of annoying messages and requests from i dont even know whomever.
but when i think over for so long and send a request to someone, or send a message to someone, i cant even get a fuck'n feedback. but still i am here moving my arrow, select, and click. hesitate to all the " thanks for the add " ... keep collecting and being collected.

oh darn
i love my generation !

3:06 PM - 18 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

happy 21st birthday to ....
Current mood: happy

happy birthday to my samurai friend - takeshi yasutoko !!!
twenty-first is so young  haha
( i am at same age but soon gonna be 22 ...  )

finally we are friends for one year now
takeshi is always humorous and nice, he rocks !
hope at all x-games this year, again and again
he will win all golds home
he deserves it all  

happy birthday to the good boy !

3:19 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

nek yeh

so i guess ...
i will never forget about you.

3:33 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

2007 5 20
Current mood: shocked

520 sounds like i love you in chinese
last year,
20 of May my band Hotpink hosted a show with some girl bands
called Oh Boy Love Me, something like that.

and after that show,
we took a long break
today, i already its been A YEAR
we havent played any show for A YEAR

i am goddamn shocked now
but its alrite
we are stronger with brand new line-up now
although our drummer girl
just had a serious car accident few days ago
but its ok
we will record an album this year goddamn!

8:34 AM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Formosa
Current mood: pissed off

its a normal diary here as you wish huh
i always wrote bullshit notes here.

anyway, i dont care if it could still be snowing somewhere
it is already summer here.
and i hate it hot, so i have no idea why i am so pissed off now.

the place i am working now has nice air conditioner system which i prefer,
but too bad lately we got these shitty dust from China
so the air is fucking unclear everywhere here.

by the way, i dont fucking care if someone of you
who still cant tell Thailand and Taiwan.
thats too ridiculous and i won't be too pissed now, i would just pity you.
just realized that we got nothing to do with China,
we might have stupid government just like your countries do.
the same things between Taiwan and China might be we look yellow
and yes we are yellow, we speak Mandarin and Taiwanese and Hakka
and lotsa languages of  Taiwanese national tribes.
we might have same Gods , simuliar foods.
but please understand that we are different countries now.

why am i talking this shit is because
today might be one of the important historic day
which i have never care about,
its annoying on history text books, or maybe i just hated the teachers.
anyway, on 1895 April 17th,
China ( the Chin ) signed a paper to GIVE UP Taiwan and gave us to Japanese
just to stop the wars.
which was called
" Treaty of Peace between the Republic China and Japan. "
they didnt give a shit about original Taiwanese people
it was wrote as :
"China cedes to Japan in perpetuity and full sovereignty the following territories together with all fortifications, arsenals and publicproperty thereon."

we are forever not belong to China for a long time.

after that paper,
Taiwan had been thru a lot of hard times,
being fucked by Spains, fucked by Hollands, fucked by Japanese, by Hans
and keep being fucked by China government.
we are still in a hard time tho.
and now they are even willing to start a war to get us BACK ????

dont be ridiculous.
we are sailing our own sail now.

yes there are still lotsa people want to GO BACK TO CHINA in taiwan
thats because their roots are basically from China
and i dont, my roots were one of the Taiwanese Tribe
tho i already lost the right to own the culture i could have, and its sad
but i am proudly a Taiwanese
not Chinese.
if some of you or your president such as Mr. monkey bush
dont admit that we are an independent countries
its okay, then we are just a poor island.

and yes, if you dont know, you surely dont know
our name was Formosa.

okay, i might be a little bit too pissed off,
thats because today is too hot.
by the way i just met a guy which i used to dated a while ago on sunday
its been a while tho
now he is with a girlfriend
who looks like some kinda birds i used to made with wools in childwood.

after all it still not a normal diary
okay, lunch time, bye.

5:24 PM - 11 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

THE BULLETIN
Current mood: pissed off

i know all of you on my friend list got my bulletin earlier today ( if you got some before, please let me know, damn... ) and i want to let you guys know that was because i got hacked, some sick of fuck stole my password and sent bulletin to all my friends. just some stupid porn / dating shitty website promotion.

okay, i have to admit that i really had a simple password. and its fucking easy to get my password because there are people who are bored all the time and might try on people's passwords thats all i know. or is there any software could steal people's password, i am sorry i am talking stupid cause i am pretty low-tech.

so i want to thank people on my list who email me back telling me they really received bulletin shit from my account. and i want to thank Zoe, this girl asked me details about dating two guys, hahaha. so thats why i know i got hacked. well Zoe, if i date someone lately i will let you know ok ? ;)

what can i say ? dating two men in one week ? well i actually did !!! hahaha ! but that is because i got too many male friends, i am a girl in band scene. to tell a fact, i dont know many girls. almost all girls i know are musicians too. so its too normal to go out with guys, sometime i even thought i became a guy too. haha

i dont fucking care that shitty bulletin was created by what kinda stupid sick of fucking cunt, well please go to eat some shit in your toilet sometime. truth is i cant even get the boy i love ! so dont make me laugh with your stupid site promotion.

and i already changed my password just now. hope i wont forget that.
have a nice day, dont get hacked !

9:02 AM - 9 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

posers will be posers
Current mood: happy

it happaned few months ago, at a place i shit my bulls everyday with chinese, i found an interesting profile which got my stares. it was a stylish girl standing in front of a wall with vivid colour, she as standing in that picture with a guitar. for there's not so many musicians in taiwan, not to mention FEMALE musicians, and as i have a band with punk girls, another band with electro girl. i can tell that its difficult as hell to get a good female to play music with, its just difficult here, i would like to know why too.

anyway, where was i ? ok, that stylish girl with guitar on the internet. yes, so i just tried to talk like, hey you are also a guitarist ?! and after few days she replied, no,  everything is fake here. so i was bitching like, aw fake guitars aint cool at all , then all i could read on her blog since that day was like who the fuck are you supposed to be and are you good enough to judge my pic ? blah blah blah zZzz lol so, i didnt care about her words. and lately we got a national film festival which is major like hell and costs my every fall. and this year they got an event for music. you could watch Last Days, New York Dolls, Tell Me Do You Miss Me... blahs, all about rock. and there is a film called Punk: Attitude with chinese details in the guide book which goes like, go get this film if you want to know what punk is. so as stupid as i AM, i think hey baby i already know what punk is and i have been that for my half life so ok i will spend my ticket with another movie. few of my kids went to see that movie after all, and they told me they saw that stylish girl went to see that movie too ! well i guess she didnt know what punk is so she got to see that film damn i am so mean haha. and then, my friends told me she went with a guitar, i updated her blog, seems like she is learning guitar right now !

Ok, so this story tells us posers will be posers and it is gonna be forever but something might start to change when someone bitch you up. now i dont know if i should feel sad for her or feel good for her cause as bitchy as i could be, her reasons of learning guitar might probably be made by my bitchy words ( i say its bitchy but actually my words were ok, haha) if she started to learn guitar only becuz some bored people (me) left a message (which was left without thinking, and which she didnt have to care about) while surfing on this horrible internet, then her guitar would be just poor, i wonder if there is any respect between she and her guitar. OMG i talk like straight edge, haha i mean, yeah it is not my business tho.

as a guitarist. i should encourage her, right? i should be happy that we got more female guitarists in this small island, right ? if i cant feel happy for this, at least i could feel cool about she actually listened to every words i made and actually tried to proove something, right ? maybe after all its all my bad, cause i stopped by her page just becuz of her pic, and thought that she might be the kind of person could be. i forgot how many kids without brains but clothes on the streets. they call it hiphop, punk. they call it electro, they call it funk. but dear kids, do you really know what is hiphop, do you know what the hell is punk? you are not related to Sid but why are you act like so ? do you know what is electro? you only know how to spell this word. so everything on you i could see is only a short fasion dream.  

hmmmmm.... OK
i am not a peace maker this time
so, posers are still posers. buh-bye!

2:33 PM - 18 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

a new song i made lately
Current mood: depressed

I MISS ...

That was what they say about the farthest distance

You stand right in front of me but dont know my feelings

So I do missing all the time

I become isolated anytime

They said that is enough granted have no ambition

Believe in what you see is the only achievable dream

But I have been searching all my life

Even though I got nothing when I come back

I miss I miss I miss I miss … (repeat)

hey sharkie girl
Current mood: worried

hey sharkie girl
dont get them wrong
u should be professional
about how to get alone
its the only way for u to go
without any hope
just go with the flow
hey ho hey ho

3:54 PM - 3 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

my birthday
Current mood: cheerful

so i am almost there, August 31st. and this year i am gonna be twenty-first, what a beginning and what an end. before the moment of holding the knife to slice the cake, i have already made up my mind and decided where to go in the coming 4 years. the plans are getting nuts-and-bolts day by day now. its always good to start something, but at the same time it means you need to let go something to start the new one. because our hearts are actually not as huge as we could contain everything to build a gigantic landfill inside. no, we cant, we have to feel really bad while trying to save everything. anyway, i plan to study films master degree oversea, but as i havent finished my college degree in taiwan  (i quitted) , i still need to go back and take the exams to another college and get graduated, then i could fight for the master degree. it would never sound like it was really ME who wants to do this all, because the educational system is always something i would love to start a war with. but i've been deliberating and i am sure this time. and 4 years, for me they are just as one thousand and five or six hundred days, so i started studying everyday since i wake up and before i sleep. and the university i want to go is actually a country with new language for me, its not my mother language and its not related to english languages family. so i need to study films, and also study the languages. the language is japanese. so just wish me with good luck then ! my band mates are being lazy this summer that is also one of the hundred reasons which makes me want to get more concentrate on my own things, because seems like i seldom think of my-own-self. so now i am back to myself a little bit. and uh, i feel like i didnt do anything big in my twenty year-old so i hope this empty age would be just a little holding pattern which is soon gonna be over. my wishes of my twenty-first year-old is to be hardworking in my study and trying to be a healthy kid, finished at least one feature-length scripts and short ones, and of course, film them. i cant think of any new plan of my band right now, if my girls are back to the positive mode then i hope we could start the recording and finish our debut album. and at last, i want to have a boyfriend, because i am kinda tired of being called as a crazy chick only becuz i tried so hard to seek for the ones, i hope this time its the last time which for me to try.  period. a little bit earlier happy birthday for myself here.

5:57 PM - 7 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

nowadays, how come
Current mood: weird

these days back in last year my adventure has just begun
nowadays, those dreams were changed into your jokes
those things that i thought i will never ignore or forget
are being ignored and forgotten.

i cleaned up the dust on my suitcase
its empty inside,
but seems like stuffed up with something.
i stuff the suitcase with brand new adventures, period.

Currently listening : Weezer (Green Album) By Weezer Release date: 15 May, 2001

11:17 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

WHAO ! YOU GOOD KIDS !

oh my fucking god !
you good kids are just like reporters !
professional !
those words on streets you made are so fabulous !

that is awesome !
this time you really surprise me !
oh ! i really appreciate you ! you good kids !
that is really punk and hardcore !

talking shits about people's dreams !
and laugh at things that people care about seriously !
wow that is new in this generation buddies !
i should have learned that from you ! you good kids !

now you say that i am jealous ?
now you say that i am angry ?
now you say that i am sick ?
now you say that i am garbage ?

wow, you good kids are really amazing !
i really want to get to know you more !
copy your tattoos ! dress your clothes !
and also talk shits behind people just like you do ! 

wow wow wow !
you good kids are so healthy !
how come you even care about things you dont care ?
you even care about a psycho like ME !

oh my goodness !
you said that i am a psycho ?
you said that i am a bitch ?
you are afraid of me ?

oh my goodness !
that is exactly why i respect you !
when good kids talk shits behind people ,
it is the most exciting movie you have ever seen !

1:52 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment